*In the vampires van*
Meg: This van seems very small to me for some reason.
Vampy: Its not that small. And besides. What do expect its a van! Not a whole freaking RV! *Sighs* Sorry for snapping at you Megan.
Meg: Its alright Vampy.
Vampy: Anyways lets go into the cave.
Meg: I cant wait to see what you do in here!
Vampy: Want me to tell you myths that arent true. And things that are true from the vampire movies that you see on TV.
Meg: Sure Vampy!
Vampy: First of all, I do sleep in a coffin. I do drink blood, by cutting people or by biting someone. Cutting is more safe. Since we arent really vampires, we have alot of blood in us. So we just cut ourselves. Dont think we are emo because that is not it at all Meg. We cut the person then we drink it from the person arm. Or we put it in to a cup and drink it from there. Wihch is more sanitary than acturally licking it off the persons arm. As you see we do where capes like the one I have on right now. You will get one once you become a vampire. Another thing is that we have a cave like a bat cave. We all sleep in this same cave which this van is parked infront of right now. But we cant turn into bats obviously. We wish we could, dont you think that would be awesone if we really were vampires and could turn into bats?
Meg: Yeah.
Vampy: Well anyways lets go inside and meet the vampries shall we?
Meg: Sounds great...
*Inside the cave*
Vampy: Here are some of my vampire friends.
Meg: Hello everybody!
Vampire: Vampy? Where did you get this girl from? She looks like a loner. She doesnt look like she is vampire material. I mean shes ugly too! I swear she is going to kill us with her ugliness.
Vampy: Oh trust me. Once I am done with her she will look like a vampire. And she will become one. Meg: Great, so how are you going to make me a vampire when you cant bite me or anything?
Vampy: We are going to give you a test if you can handle the pain of being a vampire. Oh and another myth is we cant go into the sunlight obviously. We were just in it. I mean really! Who thought of thsi stuff.
Meg: The person who created vampires in movies...
Vampy: I know, I was being sarcastic.
Meg: Alright.
Vampy: So the first part of the test is you seeing if you can handle drinking blood all the time, because we frequently do so.
Meg: Alright, I will try.
Vampy: Ok, so have you ever tasted blood before, or have a obsession with blood?
Meg: No. I havent even tasted blood. I never even tried to drink my blood when I get a cut or something. In a matter of fact I just let it dry because none of my family acturally cares enough to fix it. But when Chris gets a cut thats a different story!
Vampy: Who is Chris?
Meg: My idiot brother.
Vampy: He treats you like crap too?
Meg: Yes! Most of my family does. Thats why I would trust anyone to take me somewhere different.
Vampy: Well you came to the right place Megan.
Meg: You called me Meg before, keep calling me Meg. My family cares enough to call me that.
Vampy: Alright Meg, well here you will be drinking blood from this vile. We drink one vile a day. *Gives vile to Meg*
Meg: Alright I will try this out I guess.
Vampy: Alright drink down!
Meg: Wait, first of all where did you get this blood?
Vampy: Its from one of them over there, I forget. But we never drink any blood from a gay guy cause we can get AIDS, and we never drink any blood that looks dark. We think that is just disgusting.
Meg: Alright, well here I go, first time drinking blood.
Vampy: Just drink it already!
Meg: *Drinks the blood down* Tastes like rust.
Vampy: Thats what makes it so good Megan! And also we will be going against the vampires tommarow! They are arriving to attack us! And none of us are friends with the werewolves! Those assholes.
Meg: Whats so bad about werewolves? Wait, do you mean real werewolves! Or just people?
Vampy: Like we are vampires, they are werewolves. But as you see w are way different than werewolves. We are like a dog to black man! Do you have a dog Meg? I used too. He was a vampire dog like me!
Meg: Yes, I have a dog?
Vampy: Does he ever try to bite you Meg? Is he a vampire?
Meg: No my dog is not a vampire! But he can talk and he drinks and gets high.
Vampy: Sounds like a fun dog!
Meg: He is fun when he is not insulting you with the rest of the family. I mean there was times when he was being insulted by me and the family, but like always I get turned down again.
Vampy: I feel you Meg. But my pain wasnt as bad as yours.
Meg: I know. I am like the only one in the world who gets picked on like this!
Vampy: Well dont worry. Next test you will have to cut yourself!
Meg: Sounds scary?
Vampy: Oh dont worry, It wont hurt.
Meg: Now you are kind of scaring me?
Vampy: *Gives Meg the knife* Here. Do it.