"What? You're gay?" Arnold said, entirely too loudly.

Kevin flinched. Great. His only actual friend would think he's a filthy, rule-breaking, generally awful person, much less a Mormon.

"...Yeah." Kevin looked anywhere but his friend's eyes.

"That's awesome!" Arnold exclaimed, clearly happy for his buddy.

Kevin was stunned. He knew Arnold has always been a little loose on following the rules, but this was such a big deal that he had no idea what to expect from his bubbly companion.

"So, you're not mad?" Kevin asked, still nervous about Arnold's reaction.

"Of course not, best friend! Remember, I'm always here for you."

Of course, Arnold would never admit to Kevin that he was gay. It wasn't the fact that he was gay that bothered him. It was that he's had a crush on his mission companion from the moment he saw him at school. The perfect smile, perfect hair, and perfect grades. The perfect Mormon. And now that they were friends, Arnold knew he could completely jeopardize that by telling him that he's loved him from the start.

Their shared moment was interrupted by Elder McKinley and crew walking in the door.

"Hello, elders!" Arnold said, smiling at the missionaries. "We were just talking about-"

Kevin kicked him in the shin. "-how wonderful it is to be here." Kevin finished, glancing at Arnold, who was now red in the face. "How did it go?"

McKinley sighed and sat down in the small couch next to Kevin. The latter unconsciously scooted next to Arnold.

"Not too well, everyone is still too afraid of the General to do anything too drastic, however good that might be."

"Oh, Heavenly Father, how are we ever going to convert these people?" Kevin said, resting his chin in his hands.

"It's all because of that General Butt-Effing-Naked. It's his fault," Arnold replied, pouting.

"Arnold, that's it! If we want to solve the problem, we have to get to the root of it: the General. If we can somehow convert or scare away the General, then we can lead the rest of the village to the church! But let's try to convert him first, since we're all about that 'kill them with kindness' kind of thing," Kevin proposed.

"Sounds like a plan!" Elder McKinley replied, organizing his stack of books. "We'll start tomorrow."

For the rest of the day, the elders wandered around the village to see how many people were affected by the General, and if there were any who weren't scared of him. That would mean a quicker conversion. Kevin and Arnold mainly stuck around Nabulungi's hut, which was very entertaining since Arnold could never quite pronounce her name.

"Hey Nala, did you hear anything about our church today?" Kevin asked, intrigued by the fact that they had actually used his idea.

"Well, yes, but no one would really listen, because everyone has enough to worry about already." Naba replied.

Shortly after, all the elders returned to their shared hut, and decided what the best course of action would be to get the General out of the picture.

"Well, we definitely need to try and convert the General at least one more time before trying to scare him off. If we can get him to be a Mormon, then most of the village is guaranteed to follow in his footsteps." Kevin said.

"And if it doesn't work?" Arnold responded. "What do we do then?"

"Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But for now, elders, we must try our very best to get the General to come to the church." McKinley stated.

"Then maybe a one-on-one type of situation would be more beneficial?" Suggested Elder Church.

"That just might work better!" Kevin said.

"So... who should go and confront him?" Elder Poptart asked, all the elders looking worriedly around at each other.

"I think it should be my best friend ever!" Arnold exclaimed, clearly happy for an opportunity to compliment his friend without any sort of non-platonic context behind it. That way Kevin would still know about his amazing abilities that Arnold knew he was capable of, without the actual knowledge about his crush. "I mean, he's just like, the best Mormon that I've ever known, and he would be great at trying to talk some sense into the General!"

Kevin blushed and turned away so no one would notice.

"Yes, yes, perfect. It would be a great idea t0 have you do this, Kevin, it's your ideal chance to prove yourself as a Mormon missionary. But no pressure or anything like that." McKinley said, laughing airily at the end.

After eating their dinner, the elders returned to their respective rooms in the hut. Once alone in their room, Kevin started to pace. He ran his hands repeatedly and harshly through his perfectly-styled hair. Arnold came in right behind his buddy and sat on his bed. He watched Kevin pace for a few minutes, before getting more and more concerned when Kevin's grip on his head got tighter.

"Hey, friend, are you okay?"

"No, Arnold, I'm really not. Why did you have to recommend me to confront a murdering dictator?" Kevin said. But he didn't sound mad; he just sounded tired.

"Because if anyone can bring this village to the church, it'd be you," Arnold responded.

He was sweet, and that was one characteristic that Kevin had always admired about his friend. Kevin could be nice, but it was almost never genuine. Not like Arnold.

"Sorry I'm such a-" Kevin started, not really sure what to say after that. He was so many negative things that there wasn't one word that could even try to capture them all.

"Self-absorbed, egotistical brat?" Arnold questioned, knowing now wasn't the best time to make fun of Kevin when he was so anxious, but he knew what he was doing. He hoped it worked.

"Yeah. Exactly." Kevin said sadly.

"But you know what?"

"What," Kevin said, not really feeling like listening to more deserved insults. He prepared to tune out any lectures his mother or father would give him when he did even the slightest thing wrong.

"You're also caring, sincere, funny, and downright sweet, even if you don't show it all the time."

Kevin was generally surprised. He opened his mouth a little to reply, but nothing came out. He sat down on his bed, and finally took his hands out of his hair, which was now far from neat.

"Well, so much for being the perfect Mormon everyone thought I was," Kevin whispered, forcing a laugh.

"Buddy?" Arnold asked, brushing a stand out hair out of Kevin's face.

"Yeah?"

"You're perfect to me."