"I REFUSE!"

"WHAT THE FUCK, I WON'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!"

"HELL NO! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS?! ARE YOU STUPID?!"

They were arguing. Again. Typical. You see, Ichigo Kurosaki did not worry about such trivial things like sharing the bed. But, Rukia Kuchiki did. So here they were, fighting over the soft silk black of the bed in the black tiled room, with the black wardrobe and the black desk, and so on. Of course being such naïve people, the spare room where Rukia was once trapped was never put into consideration.

"When a guy and a girl get into bed together, that isn't normally a good-" Her mouth was clamped shut by Ichigo's large hand. He seemed to be listening for something through that skeleton mask of his. Then, Rukia heard it. It was small, but definitely in hearing range. It sounded like rumbling. Then it got louder, until it sounded like it was really close to the mansion. Then, it stopped.

"What was-"

CRASH!!

"KYAAAA!!" Rukia went flying in the air. Ichigo used shunpo and caught her in mid air, where she was curled up like a ball. Rubble and plaster flew through the air.

"Ichi-KUN!!" a small figure screamed. Ichigo rolled his eyes. Typical. Kenpachi and Yachiru were here.

"Ichigo!" a loud voice boomed. Rukia made an 'eep' sound before curling into Ichigo's chest. He had a protective arm wrapped around her shoulder, one hand holding out the sword.

"Kenpachi, What the fuck?!" Ichigo yelled. He coughed slightly as the dust around him started to float down.

"Ichi-kun, who's that?" Yachiru asked happily from her place on Kenpachi's shoulder, pointing. Ichigo looked down at the confused Rukia who was staring at him.

"She's just a bitchy housekeep-" he was silent after she had punched him on the chin up, making his neck create a sickening crack noise. She stood up and cleared her throat like a proper lady should.

"I am Rukia. Pleased to meet you." She bowed down at the large hulking figure and the small girl with pink hair.

"Hi! So you're the girl I heard so much about! You're really pretty!"

"I must say Ichigo, you've caught yourself quite a fine one! She'll probably be good at activities in the bed-"

"FUCK OFF KENPACHI!" Ichigo yelled. Yachiru made a tsk tsk noise.

"Ichi-kun is being a bad boy in front of Ruki-chan!"

"Oh she can go fu-" Another elbow to his ribs. He bent down. "S-so why the fu-" Another elbow. He coughed. "Why are you here Kenpachi?" Rukia gave an approving nod.

"Actually, I was just the taxi today. She wanted to see her." Before he knew it, 3rd seat of 4th division Inoue Orihime popped up from behind his shoulder.

"Hi!" she cheered. Rukia noticed that she had very… large assets. Rukia slightly stumbled with her words.

"Oh, uh, hello." Before she knew it, Orihime dragged her to the bed.

"I'm Inoue Orihime! Nice to meet you!" It was then that Rukia noticed she was carrying a duffle bag.

"Uh, I'm Rukia. Pleased to meet you too."

"I heard you were moving in with Kurosaki-kun, and I thought, oh no! Rukia-san must not have any clothes! So I came over to deliver these to you!" she said in a bubbly voice. Rukia looked at the now unzipped bag. True to the girl's word, there were clothes of all sorts inside. From jeans, to shirts, to dresses to skirts. Rukia sweat dropped.

"It's really ok, I can't take these!" Rukia said softly. Orihime pouted and gave them to her anyway and started chatting about random things. Yachiru bounced off and joined them. Kenpachi and Ichigo now sat in their own lonely corner, talking silently.

"Is it true that girl over there awoke Shirayuki?" Kenpachi hissed. Ichigo remained silent for a few minutes before nodding ever so slowly. Kenpachi whistled. "Wow. From what I heard, that small baby hasn't been awoken since the last what, 14 years!" Ichigo glared.

"So? That doesn't mean anything."

"Sure it does! Wait… does she even know about Soul Society?!" he nearly shouted. Ichigo shook his head.

"She just thinks I'm a retarded fool who goes around in black with a shiny sword."

Kenpachi burst out laughing. After he had become quiet, Ichigo stopped glaring.

"I swear, that fucking bitch is making me lose it! I'm gonna kill her sooner or later. Can you please tell me someone has a vacancy in their home or apartment?" Ichigo nearly begged. Kenpachi thought for a bit. He shook his head after 4 seconds of futile thinking.

"Nope. Haven't got a clue." Ichigo sighed loudly in frustration.

"I am THIS close to selling her on EBAY!" he used his fingers with a small gap in between to emphasize his point. Kenpachi tilted his head back roared with laughter.

"Too bad. If you did, you'd probably get a billion yen or more," he snickered.

"More like 500 yen, not close even!" Ichigo hissed. A rubber band was thrown in his direction. And hit the spot right behind his ear.

"FUCK! YOU BITCH!" he yelled as he looked over to the 3 girls sitting on the bed. Rukia whistled while Orihime and Yachiru experimented with her soft hair, Orihime nervously, and Yachiru humming.

"You know, she would make a great vice-cap-"

"Fuck off Kenpachi, I don't need a lieutenant!" he snapped. Kenpachi shook his head. She really would if she knew about swordsmanship and kidou. He stood up, letting his sword make a scratching sound against the floor.

"You know Yachiru, it's time we left. We only came to drop Inoue off." Yachiru pouted, but let a smile light up her face.

"I'll see you later Ruki-chan! Big booby! Ichi-kun!" Orihime and Rukia waved while Ichigo just stood there with his arms crossed. Kenpachi turned around with Yachiru on his shoulder, leaving through the wall he broke. He turned around on the edge of the hole to give one small salute of goodbye and jumped off. The 3 inside the room just noticed how cold it was. It was then they noticed the verandah was right next to the hole.

"Kurosaki. You can sleep on the couch tonight. It appears that Orihime-san and I need the bed, seeing as we are healthy women," she said smugly.

"Good luck sleeping in the fucking cold then," he retorted quietly before heading downstairs. Rukia glared at his retreating figure.

"I used to love him once." Rukia's eyes widened in surprise. She turned to the seemingly daydreaming Orihime. "I loved him… Before I met Uryuu and before he… turned into that," she said with a little distaste. Rukia furrowed her eyebrows.

"What?" Rukia questioned softly. Suddenly, as quickly as her strange mood came, it went.

"Don't worry! Anyway, since I'm staying over tonight, I bought some snacks!" Rukia smiled.

"Great! What did you bring?"


Ichigo stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame looking down at the petite girl expectedly. The sounds coming from her throat did not sound well.

2:07 am, in the Kurosaki residence, Kuchiki Rukia was throwing up into the toilet bowl.

"You ate it, didn't you," he asked dully. Rukia nodded slowly. Then, she threw up again. "Sorry. Forgot to warn ya."

"You bastard…" she said weakly before throwing up again. He went over and lifted her hair up roughly, to be kind. She didn't like it. He was about to make her scream by all the hair he was pulling out. But she didn't. She did a low roundhouse kick instead, however, she didn't expect him to dodge. She wiped the rest of the drool off her face with the back of her hand and glared at him.

"Freaking no first aid kit my ass," she said angrily before leaving the bathroom. He gave a glare before he let himself look into the mirror, the mask of a Hollow that completely ravaged his face, leaving only a truffle of orange hair out. His eyes. He hated them. It was that day when he decided he hated them. That day, 2 years ago. He shook his head and looked at the bathroom cabinet.

I didn't buy a first aid kit, what the hell is that bitch- his eyes slowly shrunk. He looked at the small delicate white box with a red cross on the top of it. He opened it. Yep. He was right. It was the Kurosaki clinic fist aid kit. He then spotted a note taped to the underside of the lid.

Nii-chan. I know you're moving away for a better life, but Karin, Otou-chan and I are going to miss you. Just in case you get hurt, I snuck this first aid kit inside your trunk. I knew you wouldn't accept it. You didn't bother checking what the movers were putting in, did you? Typical Nii-chan. Anyway, make sure you contact us every once in a while, ok? We'll miss you.

From Yuzu

Ichigo closed his eyes tightly. It's been 4 years since he last saw or heard from his family. Wearily, he travelled to the living room phone, punching in the numbers that he knew off by heart. It was 2 in the morning, but he didn't care. He realized he just forgot a very special part of his life. Even if it did include Goat-chin.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice answered. Ichigo smiled lightly. It was Karin. He could tell.

"Hey. It's me."


Rukia tiptoed down the stairs inside the fluffy black Chappy slippers Orihime bought for her. She also wore a white night gown that had black Chappys all over it. She looked at the sleeping figure that leaned over the side of the couch, resting his head on the arm that lay on the telephone table. She sighed and covered him with a blanket. I'm not looking after that bastard if he gets a cold, she thought in a huff. I'm feeling a little dizzy… Oh! I better make breakfast! She thought as she stumbled over to the kitchen.

A delicious smell wafted through the air as Kurosaki Ichigo woke up. He stood up, shrugging off the blanket onto the couch. He walked into the kitchen with a loud yawn, opening the set of jaws on his face. She turned around to glare at him. Telepathy floated in the air.

Did you poison it?

It's safe.

Ichigo was satisfied. They were sharing their food. She couldn't have poisoned it. She ate silently and picked at her pancakes from time to time.

"Where's Inoue?" he asked underneath his mask. Rukia was starting to wonder if he ever took it off.

"She left early in the morning. She said she had something to attend to," Rukia mumbled. Ichigo nodded. Of course. The 4th division needs to tend to the wounded at all times. He raised a brow, however, at the girl that sat across him. She was way too quiet. What happened to her bitching?

"Is there a problem? I mean, I know you're cooking is bad but you can just stop eating it." He closed his eyes. Nothing. No pain, no shouting. He opened them again. She didn't even hear him, he bet. "RUKIA!" he shouted. She lifted her head up.

"What?"

"You're too quiet! Where's your bitching?" She gave him a light kick under the table. He frowned. She kicked way harder than that girly one, he could tell. She stood up, wiped her mouth with a napkin and excused herself. He stared at her. Then, he glared.

"I'm not washing the mess you made!" he shouted. She stopped at the doorframe, sparing him a glance.

"I'll clean it later. I'm going for a walk." Ichigo nodded and continued to eat the remains of the pancake, which was a lot. Then, he processed the thought into his head. He ran in front of her.

"Like hell I'd be fucking stupid enough to let you do that!" he shouted. She glanced up at him dully.

"I meant, a tour around the mansion," she retorted quietly. He raced around the house and locked all the locks, windows, and the front and back doors especially. He ran back in front of her. Damn… I never realized shunpo was so important.

"Now, you can look." She just nodded at him and started walking. "Geez," he muttered. "What got up into her ass?" He looked at the black-rimmed clock on the wall. Shit. I gotta go now! He hurriedly searched for the girl. Then, he realized with horror. The hole in the wall. He started to shunpo around the house, searching every room. He entered his bedroom last. The hole was gone. It was fixed. He thanked Orihime mentally. Where is she? I have to tell her I'm leaving otherwise it'll be a whole lot of bitching when I get home. He turned around and looked at the girl in the bed. Oh my god, she was right fucking there! He ruffled his hair and walked over.

"Oi, bitch I'm leaving so-" He stopped, mid-sentence. She was sleeping, her face red and sweat dripping down her face. "Fuck! You've got a fucking fever! FUCK!"


Author's note

You have probably learnt by now, Ichigo has a very bad mouth XD

Maybe it's a bit late to tell you, but the pairings are IchiRuki, IshiHime, HitsuHina and maybe a slight MatsuGin, or ShuuMatsu. I'll warn you if there are any other pairings ;)