Chapter 3
That night I really couldn't sleep. But I was afraid of going outside. Of seeing Kalem out there. Even if I knew he was in the bed next to me. Sometimes I managed to convince myself that he wasn't there, so every ten minutes or so I would look over to his bed and see him. I looked at the clock, it was 1:30. I decided to go to the bathroom. Maybe getting out of bet for a few minutes would help. I quietly walked into the hallway, trying not to wake up Kalem. I sat on the toilet for a while, remembering what happened with Ellen. Once again, that feeling came, but this time it was more intense. And I felt hungry. I walked over to the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. For a second I saw myself in the mirror, with a terrifying grin, blood covering my face and pouring out of my mouth through my teeth. It made me jump and back away from the mirror. I twitched unintentionally and started to shake. A voice was telling me to go find Ellen. And for some reason, I listened to it. I went to the room Ellen stayed in. I tried not to wake up her roommates as I shook her awake.
-"...D-dezin?..." she said quietly, barely awake.
I hushed her and told her I needed to show her something important. That same voice from before made me lead her to deep into the forest. But not to my usual spot. Somewhere far from there. The whole time I walked I was hunched over, shivering and twiddling with my fingers.
-"Dezin?..How much farther is it? I'm tired." She asked.
-"N-not much farther..." I said. My voice was shaking.
I was afraid of doing what I was going to do.
-"Are you ok Dezin? You seem weird."
-"I'm f-fine...just hold on...w-we'll be there soon."
I didn't want her to get suspicious so the voice decided to shorten the trip and told me we would be stopping soon.
-"Dezin maybe you can show me this in the morning. I'm too tired. I'm going back." She said.
I turned around and frantically got in front of her, stopping her.
-"N-no no no!...Wait...be patient...we're almost there..." I said
The expression on Ellen's face told me she was terrified. I had to rush so she wouldn't think something was up.
-"..o-ok. I'll keep going." She said, hesitantly.
Finally we had made it to the spot. It was a ditch where the river used to run through, but had dried up. Ellen walked in front of me and looked into the ditch.
-"There's nothing here," she said and turned to me, "what's the big idea here? You drag me out of bed and take me here in the middle of the night just to show me a stupid ditch?" She said.
I was still shivering but I started to twitch. I didn't reply to her, I only mumbled, arguing with the voice in my head. I ended up begging the voice not to make me do it.
-"Dezin? Are you ok?"
I stopped mumbling. I finally decided to do it and I slowly stepped towards Ellen. So defenceless. I felt bad for her. I wanted to tell her to run but the voice wouldn't let me. Her attacks weren't nearly strong enough to stop me from doing what I was going to do.
-"D-Dezin? What are you doing?" She asked. She was terrified by the way I was acting.
At that moment, I figured out what that feeling ment. I figured out what the nightmare ment. I figured out what it all ment, and it all made sense to me. I pushed Ellen into the ditch and jumped on to her as she shrieked, trying to electrocute me.
-"Dezin!... Stop!" She said as she struggled to get out of my grasp. As she tried to crawl it of my hands, I dug my claws into her sides, piercing through her flesh. She shrieked once again and continued to scream as I ripped away at her sides and put the soft, warm, juicy flesh into my mouth. I realized someone would find me if she continued to scream. I put two of my claws on the center of her throat and hushed her as I slowly burrowed my claws into her throat. Blood and foam that turned red from the blood started to pour out of her mouth as she continued to struggle, splattering blood everywhere. Once my claws were deep in her neck, I whispered to her.
-"Are you tired? That's ok, sleep now." I whispered.
I quickly pulled my claws out, ripping her esophagus out. I bit the elastic tube off of my fingers and continued to chew as I practically ripped her in half. I cut her spinal cord like scissors cutting string and I saw her lungs take their last breath as a final resort for survival. She finally stopped struggling, she stopped huffing for air trying to live. She was gone. I continued to chomp away at the corpse, leaving almost nothing but her bones and head which still had her eyes open. I still twitched after I finished. I cried again. I washed myself off in the river and made my way back to the orphanage. Once I made it back I went went into the bathroom and washed my arms, face, and belly with soap. Then I sprayed my self with air freshener to block out the smell of blood and river water. I cried into my pillow until I finally cried myself to sleep.
We were again at the table, and Kalem was eating his food happily. I wasn't eating again but this time I was looking around nervously.
-"Can't eat again?" He asked.
-"Yea I just...can't focus on that right now." I said.
-"Did you have another bad dream?"
-"No I...um..." I had to tell him. "...I did something bad...something really really really bad..."
-"What did you do?" He looked at me very concerned.
-"I...I...I can't tell you here...we need to go somewhere else..."
-"..okay...I'll finish up and we'll go outside." He said.
-"O-okay." I twitched a little.
We walked out. I was really nervous and scared to tell him. I decided it would be better to show him.
-"So what's wrong?" Kalem asked.
-"Follow me..." I said.
I took him to the ditch where it happened. I was hesitant and many times I wanted to turn back, but I couldn't. We finally made it to the ditch. Without saying anything, I walked toward the ditch and stopped. Kalem came behind me.
-"So what is it you w-" Kalem was interrupted by the sight.
He gasped and backed away, covering his mouth and grunting in disgust. He vomited to the side. After getting a hold of himself and realizing what was happening, he looked up at me.
-"D-Dezin...don't tell me you did that." He said. I was standing over the ditch with my eyes closed and breathing heavily, trying to hold back the tears. I didn't say anything to Kalem.
-"No...Dezin..no.."
-"I-I'm sorry..." I said.
-"But why...how could you do something like this?" He asked.
-"This what it all was trying to tell me...the dream and those feelings I would get...this is what they ment." I said.
-"Those feelings? Dezin what are you saying?"
-"When you fell the other day and I was exposed to your blood, I would get the feeling to want to bite into something. I had that feeling yesterday morning too. That's why I didn't want to eat the food. It also happened when I talked to Ellen when you were getting your medications, and last night..."
-"Dezin...what are you trying to say..." he asked.
-"They're telling me that I wasn't supposed to...be friendly..or harmless...I'm supposed to do things like this..." I pointed to what was left of the body. "I was ment to kill things for food...I'm supposed to be the predator. Not a house pet. I realize this now."
Kalem took a few steps away from me.
-"Please don't be afraid of me, Kalem" I said.
-"How can I not be. I'm looking at the body of someone that you mauled. You, Dezin, YOU. And in that nightmare you had, you were doing to me what you did to her. How can I not be afraid knowing that you can kill me?"
-"Kalem...I just really need someone to stay on my side. I don't want to do this. But I need someone's help. When I did this to Ellen, I felt like I had no power. Like I couldn't control myself and I didn't have a choice...I really need you..."
Kalem sighed and walked back towards me and gave me a hug.
-"I'm sorry," he said, "this is all just so sudden."
-"I know." I said to him.
-"And I don't want you to kill me is all."
-"Kalem, I will do whatever I can to keep that from happening. I will never kill you."
-"Okay," he said looking back at the body, "but what are we going to do about that?"
-"Nothing." I said, "Just leave it there."
-"But what if you get caught?"
-"It will probably be for the better."
-"Dezin don't say that."
-"It's true. I would much rather be locked up than put the lives of everyone here at risk."
Kalem sighed again.
-"C'mon, lets go."
Unsurprisingly, people back at the orphanage had already been wondering what happened to Ellen. This made me really nervous. But at the same time, I didn't care. I remembered what I said earlier and it calmed me down.
-"What should we do?" Kalem asked me.
-"Maybe I should just confess." I said
-"No!" He quickly turned to me. "...Don't confess...not yet at least."
He gave me the saddest look of not wanting to lose me. I sighed.
-"Ok...well, if I don't confess, what are we supposed to do? If we keep quiet, I'm sure someone is going to try and investigate and they'll find the corpse."
-"I knew we should have hidden it." He said.
-"Kalem, just don't worry about it. Okay?"
He looked at me with doubt and replied hesitantly.
-"Okay."
