Sasori's Requiem
Sasori: Come to my room and we can do some fun things there.
Gaara: . . .
Sasori: Here have some candy.
Gaara: . . . (Takes to candy and unwraps it slowly and stares at it for a while.)
Sasori: It's not poisonous. Come on, I hate waiting.
Gaara: (Nods and takes a bite.) . . . this is . . . disgusting.
Sasori: What the-?! I liked it better when you were mute. This is the best chocolate in the world!
Gaara: "Todoki" tastes a lot better.
Sasori: To-todoki?! You get to eat Todoki?! That's stuff's expensive even for me!
Gaara: I eat it everyday.
Sasori: And they call me spoiled. Listen, shit. Next time you visit, you better get me some.
Gaara: Um, I have some now . . . would you like it?
Sasori: Duh, give it to me!
Gaara: Will . . . will you be my friend if I do?
Sasori: Why not? Now give, you piece of shit.
00000
Hidan: Fucking awesome! Your room's sparkling clean and organized!
Sasori: I didn't know that a cleaning servant is suppose to be in awe. It's your job to make everything perfect like the way it is now. You won't disappoint me, right?
Hidan: Ha! Fuck that! Your grandma just pays me to babysit you, srsly.
Sasori: I don't need to be babysat.
Hidan: Bullshit, that's what they all say, srsly.
Sasori: Whatever. Go downstairs and get me a snack.
Hidan: F-ck! Get your own shit!
Sasori: It's your job to get stuff for me.
Hidan: Oh . . . right.
(After some time . . . )
Hidan: Here you go, f-cker!
Sasori: How stupid . . . when I say snacks, I don't mean fattening shit. I want candy.
Hidan: I know that, srsly. The chips are for moi, this teeth rotting stuff for you.
Sasori: Moi?
Hidan: It's French.
Sasori: There's no such thing as this thing called French.
Hidan: Fuck you!
Sasori: Oh you would like that wouldn't you?
Hidan: ARE YOU FUCKING FLIRTING WITH ME?! HOMO!!
Sasori: Ah-no! Get the hell out of my room!
00000
Deidara: So this is Sasori no Danna's new servant. Hello, I'm Deidara the Bombing Devil, un.
Hidan: Fuck. I knew this messed up kid would have messed up friends . . .
Deidara: Where's Danna?
Hidan: Shower. So . . . uh . . . are you a girl or a boy? Or both?
Deidara: I'M A BOY, UN! If you tease me or insult me on having a girly appearance then I WILL FUCKING BLOW YOU UP!!
Hidan: Fuck, calm down! Judging by the way you said that, another fucker has called you a girl, amiright?
Deidara: U-un.
Sasori steps out of the shower, wearing only a towel loosely tied around his waist. Water is dripping from his hair and sliding down his slightly scrawny body.
Deidara: Sa-sasori no Danna!! Go put some clothes on!
Sasori: What, brat? Am I making you hard already?
Deidara: Just put some clothes on, un!
Sasori: Don't peak, hmm?
Hidan: Fucking homo's totally flirting with you Dei-chan! Come on Sasori, get outta the fucking closet!!
Sasori: I AM NOT FLIRTING!
Deidara: (sighs) No, it's normal for Danna to talk this way. He even does this to his grandma.
Sasori: I DO NOT FLIRT! AKASUNA SASORI DOES NOT FLIRT!
Hidan: Then stop doing it, fucker!
Sasori: Call me fucker again and I'll really fuck you.
Hidan: . . .
00000
Deidara: Hidan, you don't seem to be very fit as a servant, un. Why are you one?
Hidan: Well I was kinda forced into it. My dad sold me to his grandma, srsly.
Deidara: Too poor to afford you, un?
Hidan: Nah, my old man was fucking rich, though you could never tell since our house looked like shit. Money-saving bastard. He just couldn't stand me.
Sasori: No one can stand you. Unless they're an idiot. His father just abandoned him like that? He didn't care at all for his own child?
Deidara: I can stand Hidan . . . probably. As long as he stops saying that I look like a girl and calling me Dei-chan!
Sasori: Proves my point.
00000
Doesn't it seem like when Sasori first appeared in the manga/anime, he was like flirting with Sakura and Chiyo?
