Back in the game.
TOUHOU PROJECT
MISHAPS OF THE EASTERN WONDERLAND
3rd Tale
The Man Who Fell In Love With Satori
Spring has arrived in the estranged land of Gensokyou. It was indeed a wonderful time of year. Birds chirped among the trees, butterflies roamed among flowers, animals mated... you know, the usual. Though the first day of spring was heavily anticipated, there was also something about the season's arrival that some dreaded. In fact, some would prefer to endure another six weeks of winter. Hell, even more people would go so far in conspiring on killing the infamous groundhog before it sets it's sights on it's shadow.
Yes people. There were actually a few assassination attempts on the poor groundhog. Perhaps, such a story would be told at another time.
As of now, there should be a cacophonous harbinger of spring roaming throughout the forest. For many decades, said harbinger was both a blessing and nuisance (from different perspectives, of course). Right now, she should be celebrating the homecoming of spring very much like how one would celebrate New Year's Day. While this is a joyous moment for her, she has a very odd way of celebrating it. Anybody that was (un)fortunate enough to witness the event of the herald's celebration would agree. There were usually high-pitched shouting coming from her... right along with a barrage of bright multicolored projectiles.
So right now would be a good time to hide for safety. One wouldn't want to get injured during the herald's jubilation. That train's never late, ya know. Wait for it. Wait for it...
Hmm. This is highly peculiar. Lily's late. What's the deal?
"Mmmph! Hmmm!"
"Oh, shut it, you." Alice Margatroid hissed. The once human magician was seated on a smooth slab of stone with a bored expression. She was wearing only lingerie. "It's a good thing I stayed up during the wee hours of the night, looking for your happy ass."
Lily White was bound and gagged to an oak tree, hopeless as a penitentiary dick. Oh. So that explained the lack of danmaku this morning. "Hhrrrrggh!"
"Shush." Alice admonished. "You're going to wake up the dead with that noise." Surprisingly, a sardonic smirk etched on her face.
Lily made a face that clearly says 'damn you.' "Rrrrgh!" She began struggling in her bonds. A noble yet futile effort.
"Nah ah ah." Alice waved her left index finger dramatically. "Don't waste your time struggling, friend. The ropes and the gag are doubly reinforced to make sure that it's impossible for you to get free. I even tried it on Shanghai once during the time a demon possessed her."
Alice's said sub-sentient familiar gave her a funny look.
Lily scowled at her captor. Her cheeks were blushing in rage. "Yuuuurrrg paaaaaggh!"
Somehow, Alice understood Lily's muffled threat. "What was that? 'You'll pay', you say?" The puppeteer stood up from the flat stone and approached the fairy ominously. "Listen, sweetie... allow me to make this clear: You. Have. No. Right. To. Be. Angry! You don't and you know it!"
Lily growled. Alice prodded her finger on the fairy's forehead. "Do you have any idea how irritating the the first day of spring is for me? Do you know how long I've been putting up with your shit for the last couple of years? Do you!"
Lily's eyes promised murder. But there wasn't a damn thing she could do. "Grrr..."
"I know that spring's a wonderful time of year. Yes, I'm sure many would agree with me." There was reason behind the magician's madness. "As a matter of fact, it's my favorite time of year. You, on the other hand, is forcing me to opine otherwise. I mean, soaring around the forest like a bat outta hell... while blasting danmaku every which way? Are you aware of your actions?"
Lily's glare grew hotter. Killing a half naked puppeteer was on her shit list.
"Tch." Alice bit her lower lip. "I guess not. Well, at least now I'm making the message of countless other residents clear. I can fill my grimore with how much people resent you." A sickening sweet smile suddenly appeared on Alice's face and she frolicked around the tree like a raving lunatic. "'SPRING! Springtime is here! Yay!'" She hopped right in front of Lily and twirled on her toes like a ballerina. "'Wake up, everyone! SPRING! SPRING IS HERE!'"
The eyes of Lily White became glossy all of a sudden. She really didn't appreciate being mocked. "Mmm!"
Alice noticed the look of offense coming from the fairy. "That hurt, didn't it?" Alice yawned. "Maybe it does, but not as much as the bullets you hit me with last year!"
Lily felt a tad sorry for Alice- emphasis on the word 'tad'. She still wanted to hurt her though.
"Oh! And let's not forget the Spring before last year: shattered windows. A tree through my got-damn roof," said Alice. She was enjoying Lily's misery. "Wait. Remember spring 07'? You don't? I do. I had stitches across my chest thanks to you!" After her declaration, Alice could have sworn she felt a presence behind her. It was a rather weird feeling. It was faint... or maybe it her imagination. She shrugged and continued her yandere tirade. "And the list goes on: front door being blown to bits, the forest fire of 99... a tree falling on Marisa..." She suddenly beamed at the memory. "Okay, that was kinda hilarious. Poor Marisa was out for hours."
Then something unexpected happened: a tear slid down Lily's cheek.
Alice was totally caught off guard. "You're... crying?"
Lily nodded with a sniff, "Hmm-mmm..."
"Uh, maybe I was a little too harsh on you," Alice reconsidered. Then a presence bothered her sixth sense again. This time she was sure that this wasn't her imagination. Something was looming behind her. She whipped around in alarm, searching for whatever that was emitting such spooky vibes. There was a monkey in a tree. A deer was drinking water from a nearby pond. A bobcat was going about it's business with a dead snake in it's maw. None of the wildlife gave off such vibes and Alice was pretty adept in sensing disguised youkai and spirits.
So, what in the world is going on? Alice wasn't crazy. Well... she is a bit crazy, but that's not the point. Her mind doesn't play tricks on her like that.
She asked Lily for clarification. "Hey, have you ever got the feeling that you were being watched?"
Lily shook her head, indicating a 'no'.
Alice sighed. "Hmm. It was just my imagination. I'm not crazy, after all."
Lily gave Alice the skunk eyes.
"Don't give me that look!"
Alice felt the looming presence again. This time it was tangible, because she felt a gentle hand goosing her buttocks. The puppeteer shrieked in alarm. "Eek! What in Shinki's name-" a person immediately came up in her mind. Alice clenched her fists, ready to rumble. She whipped around in fury. "Marisa! What did I tell you about smacking my rear? I'm going to hurt-"
What she beheld was not the Ordinary Magician. There was a young woman with gray eyes and silvery green hair. She wore a xanthous long sleeved blouse with black trimmings on the end of the sleeves. Her lower body was clothed in a forest green miniskirt that reached the middle of her thighs. A black (church) hat adorned the top of her head. Perhaps the oddest thing about the girl was the bluish orb that hovered about her via a (fleshy?) lasso. The 'orb' appeared to be an eye. An eye that was sealed shut.
"Howdy," Koishi Komeiji greeted.
"Who- who are you?" Alice wondered. She heard tales of a girl that can travel anywhere while completely indiscernible. Could the silver haired youngster be the said girl? "You're a youkai. How is it that I was unable to sense your aura?" Shanghai and Hourai were armed with blades.
Lily stared at Alice in confusion. Who in the hell was the crazy puppeteer talking to? A peculiar though suddenly reigned in her mind: Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
"The name's Koishi," Satori's baby sister revealed. "Koishi Komeiji."
"Ah," Alice heard of the Komeiji Sisters from Reimu. They were particularly feared youkai, yet harmless. And the pretty satori before didn't appear to be a threat. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Alice."
Lily's eyes turned into huge white dots. When she get free she is going to reference the puppeteer to a mental therapist.
"So," Alice began, blushing because she was goosed by a rather cute girl. "What brings you to the surface? Food? Sight-seeing? Looking for a lover?" A nervous chuckle escaped her.
Koishi smirked mischievously. "Hey, care to dance?"
The satori's sudden request befuddled Alice. "Wait. What? ACK!" Alice's entire body suddenly became rigid. She willed her body to respond but there was an overwhelming force that prevented her from doing so. Her entire body felt like wet clothing. She had no control over her body whatsoever. It was as if she was in such a deep sleep that she felt wide awake... but there were no bodily functions. This state of mind... was indescribable. Nothingness, yet she was completely aware of it. A trance.
Lily was witness to this. But she wondered what the hell was Alice was up to now.
"Let's see..." Koishi giggled. "Okay, Alice. You're a dancing machine!"
Alice stretched out her arms all of a sudden. Right now she resembled a human puppet. Koishi made a gesture and poor Alice began moving around mechanically. Alice swiveled, marched, and performed a sort of funky automaton-like dance. Her eyes were glazed over in oblivion while she rhythmically popped and locked during Koishi's curse. Physically she had an expression of the living dead, but mentally her mind was screaming in terror.
Sufferin' Shanghai! Somebody! Help me!
"Automatic! Systematic!" Koishi sang, popping along with the helpless blonde. "Tuned and channeled to your vi-iibes~!" That was... madly appropriate, considering Alice's predicament. The young satori from the underworld was enjoying this immensely.
Lily gawked at the scene before her (oblivious of Koishi). Alice... that crazy girl was dancing all of a sudden! And what made it so eerie about the dance, she recalled a certain nigh-omnipotent gap youkai performing the very same moves a couple decades ago. If she remembered correctly, the dance was called the 'Puppet'. Or maybe it was the 'Machine'? The little spring fairy couldn't believe her eyes! Talk about a nostalgic rush!
The possessed doll maker and whimsical monster were both popping and locking (Get cha minds out the gutter, people). Koishi was groovin' as though she was at an early seventies rave. "Captivating~ Stimulating~! She's such a sexy lady! Filled with space age des-iiign~!"
Oh gods! Please help me! Alice's mind screamed. Make it stop!
Both Shanghai and Hourai were staring at their creator. Oddly enough, the sub-sentient dollies both had a ghost of a smile on their faces. Their subconscious manufacturer noticed this too.
Traitors! The both of you!
Koishi giggled. "Tee he! That was pretty fun!" A pair of blush stickers marked her cheeks and that mischievous smirk returned. "And now, my pretty... allow me to teach you how to Dougie!"
No! Not that! Not the Dougie! The Seven-Colored Puppeteer dread. Alice recalled a certain (old ass) seventeen year old border manipulating sub-goddess doing the wacky dance mere months ago. Alice swayed her hips and rocked her shoulders to a rhythmic beat that was subconsciously supplied to her by the strange youkai youth. She even plucked the collar of her blouse! Damn this girl! How dare she toy with me!
"Er'body love me!" Koishi rocked. "Er'- er'body love me!"
'Just you wait,' Alice threatened. 'Once I break free from this trance, I'll make you pay! No one toys with Alice Margatroid like a puppet! No one!'
Lily's disbelief was ever growing. Now that crazy ass puppeteer was doing another dance! She wasn't familiar with this dance, though. Must have been pretty recent. She was nearly four decades behind when it comes to dancing.
"Teach me how to Dougie!" Koishi continued in pure glee.
At that moment, Alice's savior arrive. "Yo, Alice," a tomboyish voice rang. "I know you're close, girl. Where are ya!"
Koishi's eyes shifted. "Uh oh. Guess it's time to leave."
You're leaving? Alice thought in surprise. Thank the gods!
"Playtime's over." Koishi snapped her fingers and Alice felt a painful spasm throughout her body for a split second. The sensation was highly similar to drowning, only to resurface above water at the very last moment.
"Ghhhrk!" Alice wheezed. If that what it was like to emerge from a womb then Alice was glad that she only done it once. "Ghhhhhgh! Ugh!" She fell to her knees, coughing and straining. It was as if her lungs were about to burst. And her head was throbbing like hell!
"It's been fun," Koishi regarded. "Let's do this again soon."
"Again?" Alice spat in unbelief. "I won't allow it!"
Lily now had a good look up the puppeteer's night robe. She blushed because the mad doll maker was going commando. But still... the loony bitch was raging away for some unknown reason. Okay. That's it. No more hanging around Cirno, Rumia, and the others. I'm going to be as crazy as they are soon.
The ultimate ninja blew a kiss at Alice. "Remember: you got the body, and I got the brains." After her parting words, the satori made a cutting motion with her hand and made a sort of door with the fabric of reality. She entered the door (supplying a brief glimpse of the Earth Spirit Palace). "Toodles."
Alice was on her feet again. "Come back here!"
"Alice!" Marisa beckoned, searching for her neighbor. "Aliiiiiice!"
"Damn," Alice cursed Marisa's bad timing. "I'm still in my sleeping robe. What does she want?" She gazed towards Lily. "Eh? What's with you?"
As if the fairy could respond at the moment. Tied and gagged, Alice. Remember? The blood running from Lily's nose was an interesting sight, though.
Marisa arrived onto the scene. "Found ya, ze. I've been sensing your magical signature all over the place." She noticed her neighbor was clad in a bed robe and the spring fairy bound to the tree before her. "What is this? A spring break party? You're going to streak the village, aren't ya Alice?"
"Nonsense," Alice nearly laughed at the witch's ridiculous assumption. "I was just doing the citizens of Gensokyou a favor, that's all."
Marisa stared at the distressed fairy for a moment. She whistled at the doll maker's accomplishment. "Hot damn! That's pretty impressive," the witch praised. "Last year during the first of spring, it took nearly the entire day for me to catch her. Let alone getting a clean shot with a Master Spark. You managed to capture Lily this soon... that is like, the best thing you've ever done since... since... you gazed into that creepy grimoire of yours for the first time."
Aliced rolled her eyes. "Harr-harr... a thousand laughs. Anyway, that capricious little buddy of Reimu and yours was here a moment ago."
"Who?" Marisa wondered. She had tons of buddies. Alice has to be more specific.
"Does the name Koishi Komeji ring any bells?"
"Hmm." Marisa prodded her chin in reminiscence, the gears in her mind struggling. "Komeiji... Komeiji..."
Alice stared at her questionable friend with narrow eyes. "Don't hurt yourself, Marisa."
"Satori's kid sister," Marisa confirmed, her pretty eyes bright with affirmation. "Silver hair, loves music and food, playful, crack jokes a lot, and..." the witch cupped her breasts. "She's... bigger than her big sister."
"A little too much information, don't you think?"
"Tee-he! Sorry. Sorry." The witch scratched the back of her head with a grin. "Got a little carried away."
"Obviously," Alice muttered. "So. You were looking for me. What brings you out here?"
The human girl's face brightened with blush stickers on her cheeks. "Oh yea, about that... I want you to come along with me to the village. Let's do a little spring shopping. What do ya say?"
Shopping? Guess she stole some money from the Scarlet Manor, Alice thought. Well, it was the first day of spring and Alice really didn't had anything in particular planned for today. Plus, Marisa's request seemed innocent enough. It may be fun. Very well...
Alice gave her evil-eyed neighbor her reply, selling her soul to the Master Sparkin' Devil. "Sure. Why not?"
The witch made a very girly sound, ecstatic. "Uwah! Sounds like a plan to me, da ze!"
ELSEWHERE
IN THE FOREST OF MAGIC
"Koishi!" Satori Komeiji called out as she crossed a riverbank via the stepping stones. "Where are you? Koishi! Koishiiiiiiiii!" The Queen of Chireiden has been searching for her little sister for quite some time today. The younger sibling was at it again, possibly causing a little mischief among the surface-dwellers. While having to scour parts of Gensokyou for Koishi may indeed be a cumbersome task for Satori, she would be lying to herself if she didn't enjoy the sights of the mystic state's geographical beauty. Satori always loved nature. Long before Koishi was born, she often relished the sights of unperturbed natural terrain, floras, and animal life. This was decades before man industrialized and molested a majority of the planet's contributions. Long before she was forced into the underworld that was eventually know as Old Hell.
The nostalgia... Satori found herself smiling. A smile that nearly claimed her entire facial expression.
By the time Koishi was born, the Komeiji family was already fairly ordained onto the netherworld. To commemorate this historical colonization of the sub-netherworld, the Komeiji's built Chireiden: The Palace of Earthen Spirits. It was a place she believe that her family were destined for. No longer she should live in self pity due to the surface-dwellers fearing her power. The citizens of the upper world... they will never understand how good they got it. Most of them (especially humans) truly does not appreciate the paradise that One Above All has given them. Perhaps... one day... the surface world may be more of a hell than one she reigned over will ever be. Satori grieved for the paradise she loved. She grieved for humanity... and more so for the youkai that were influenced by them.
It was then Satori sensed something. She tuned in with the thoughts of the wildlife. There was an old saying that goes along the lines of 'people talk' and 'the streets talk'. This was true. It was especially true about the wilderness and it was currently revealing gossip to her through it's ethereal whispers. The collective thoughts of the wilderness flowed along the cool morning breeze. Among the 'gossip' there were apparent sightings of a certain whimsical young satori.
Satori hopped over a puddle of water and continued her search. The thoughts of a woodland creature garnered her attention. "You there," she telepathically said to a raccoon. "Sorry to intrude, but I can't help but to notice a very recent memory of yours."
The striped creature shifted on it's feet, happy to be able to communicate with a humanoid. "Ah. Good day. How may I help you?"
It was male, and from it's mental poise and thought patterns she deduced it was 'middle-aged'. Good. Young raccoons were a rude and aweless lot. "Wonderful weather we're having today."
"It is." The raccoon replied. "Ideal for catching fish. Oh, how I love this time of year!"
"Then I shall make this short in order for you to continue your leisure," Satori nodded. She focused on his thoughts, scanning the vague images of a young youkai girl. "You saw a youkai not too long ago."
"Of course," the small mammal replied. "This is the Forest of Magic. These woods are the abode of many youkai. The chances of not sighting them are extraordinarily slim."
"I'm looking for one in particular," Satori provided, realizing that the raccoon only saw Koishi instead of encountering her. It was fading from his memory but Satori could see it. "The one I'm looking for is a young female. She has silver hair, bears a semblance to my appearance, and a shade taller than I am." Satori also provided a mental image of Koishi. "My sister."
"Yes. I saw her earlier," he remarked. "But only for a fleeting moment, though. Joe may know where she went."
The pink haired sovereign raised a brow. "Joe?"
"Yea. Allow me to call him forth. Joe!"
A bobcat revealed itself by leaping from a nearby tree. "What? What is it, Tori?"
The bobcat sounded annoyed. Maybe he didn't get enough sleep last night.
"Joe, be a gentlecat. We have a wanderer." Tori chided, indicating towards the youkai among them. "She's looking for her sister, I'm afraid. And I do recall that you already encountered her quite recently."
Joe the bobcat stared at Satori for a moment. Then, a flash of recognition marked his expression. "Oh, hell yea I did!" Mirth replaced the crankiness in his tone. "She was making a fool out of Jiro- stealing his fruit and all."
Satori gasped, her little sister was committing juvenile delinquency again. "Oh no. I'm sorry to hear that."
"What's with the apology?" Joe scoffed. "Jiro stole the fruit from the village. Heh. That monkey's always up to monkey-business. He's just pissed over the fact that the satori broad beat him at his own game."
"I take it that Jiro's not taking it well, correct?" Tori wondered.
"Hell naw," Joe remarked, his memory of encountering the silver haired satori were more potent than Tori's. "After the humiliation, his mood gone sour... more sour than that damned rattlesnake I had for breakfast. And speaking of that, I really have to go."
"Then I dare not waste any more of your time," Satori nodded in consideration. "Do you have any idea where she may have gone to?"
"Hmm..." the bobcat paused, trying to pinpoint Koishi's scent. "She is heading north of here... she smells like strawberries..."
"Now's not the time for pleasantries, Joe." Tori scolded.
"Right. Right..." Joe sniffed the air. "Yep, homegirl's definitely north of here. Muenzuka, to be exact."
"Are you certain?" Tori pegged.
"Does a bear shit in the woods?"
"What does that have to do with-" the bobcat's remark suddenly dawned on him. "Why, of course!" He turned his regards to Satori. "Muenzuka it is, my dear. It's a fairly lengthy walk north of here. You can't miss it. It's a pretty peaceful place... and yet decidedly dreadful. You should find your beloved sister there."
Muenzuka. Satori remembered that place. It was during a time when she herself was once a surface-dweller. The raccoon was right, it was a serene and dreadful place. Muenzuka was a beautiful landmark of Gensokyou, and yet, it wasn't devoid of dangers. Muenzuka was an extraordinarily flawed location. The place was a silent and misleading terror (from what she heard). It was a notorious badlands that lay host of Gensokyou's most dangerous spirits, humans, and youkai. A deceptive place, indeed. It was almost as if it once fell from grace... like an angel that once fell from heaven throughout the cosmos, whom eventually reigned the worst hell imaginable.
Why would Koishi be at such a place?
Satori bowed, "Thank you. Thank you. You have no idea how much your help means to me." She sauntered northward as the bobcat indicated. "I appreciate it, Tori-san, Joe-san."
She left the woodland creatures behind, her gait eventually becoming a jog. Koishi, you have some explaining to do.
CHIREDEN
"So?" Rin muttered, reading a resume of a deceased fairly. "Fiftieth death, eh? That pesky Netherworld Princess literally had you on a blue plate. Still, I think it's kinda cool that your final death was an even one."
The tiny lilac haired sprite was crying a river. She was eaten by- yep, you guessed it: Yuyuko Saigyouji. What a way to go. "I... I... just wanted to try some of her tea." The fairy sniffed.
Rin patted the fairy's head... in mock sympathy, that is. "There. There. You have my condolences..." A huge twenty foot tall marble door (more like a gate) slowly opened. It emitted a grinding sound so eerie that it seemed like it was wailing. Behind the magnificent gate, were the eternal conflagration of the Hell Of Blazing Fires. "Welp... you weren't innocent either, my friend." With a terrifying grin, Orin tossed the sprite into her doomed fate. "Happy roasting! In ya go!"
"WAAAAAAHHH!"
The kassha's laughter resounded throughout the huge marble room. There were quite a number of the dead that are present today. All of them were shaking in terror at the maniacally laughing catgirl. It turns out that the spirits of the wicked were indeed cowards in the end. Heck, a majority of them were crying.
"Hey," Rin said the the next person in line, a scrawny frail man wearing a pair of oversized prescription glasses. "Glad to meet your acquaintance. Too bad you were killed. You were a youtube goblin-"
"Uh, that's troll..." the internet gangster corrected fearfully, eyes red with tears.
"Troll, right. I had this," Rin rolled her eyes. "Insulted people anonymously on the internet, hacked many FPS game lobbies online, racist, and you stole money from your mother's savings... countless times." Rin dropped the resume, and the said paperwork disappeared in a puff of red smoke. "Well damn. Appearances can be deceiving. You ARE a bad boy. No wonder they tracked you down."
"My mother shot me!" The virtual badass wailed.
"Hell! I would of put a bullet in your head too!" Rin remarked, the spirits hovering around her glowing red. "If I had a kid, I wouldn't allow him or her to steal from me! You got what you deserve, kid. Hell awaits!" Rin snatched the dweeb by his head and tossed him like a rag-doll into eternal damnation. "Next!"
Another 'goblin'. Rin sighed and rolled her eyes again as a summary of his life appeared in her hand. "Hmm... rage-quit after getting frequent defeats in Super Street Fighter IV AE online. So enraged, in fact, you've decided to jump off a bridge? What the- I don't even... Get your ass in there!" The hellcat gave the 'goblin' a furious shove.
"AAAAAHHHH!"
"Take it like a man!" Orin yelled down into the inferno. "You're forty-two, after all!"
Next, a bald obese man in a business suit stood before Rin, his pants soaked in absolute fear. The redhead's patience was wearing thin. "Tch! Some insurance salesman you are! Looks like that quadruple meat, super-cheeseburger with Canadian bacon and pork sausages you had this morning gave you more than just a bad case of the shits. You almost broke my cart too."
The salesman farted. It was a squeaker.
"Eww! That's it!" Rin lifted the four hundred pounder over her head, a display of her herculean strength. And remember folks, Rin may be a cute little cat-loli, but she's more than strong enough to knock a grown man's dick in the dirt. When she threw the heavy man through the gate, an 8-bit sound-effect resounded. "Ha! Ha! Like tossing a giant turnip at my enemies! Hilarious! Next!"
A jeweled door suddenly opened at the other side of the humungous room. "Orin-chan! Orin-chan!" Utsuho Reiuji's ladylike voice cried.
"Oh. What's up, Okuu? Just a moment," Orin turned to regard a man wearing a turban and desert robes. "Phew. You sure chose a wrong time to have a smoke-out party. It was bound to happen sooner or later. Come now... eternity's waiting and I don't have all day!"
The hell-cat snatched the man by his large beard and chucked him to the fiery depths.
A girlish scream resounded through the flames. "GYAAAAAAH!"
"That's for nine-eleven, motherfucker!" Orin snarled.
Okuu approached her best friend, providing the damned a nice view of an angel before being sent to hell. Okuu was an excellent example of feminine perfection (or something very close to it). "There's something I need to talk to you about."
"Fire away," Orin replied. She frowned when she caught someone trying to exit the room. "Excuse me, would ya... Hey IRS agent! Get your ass back in line! The fuck is wrong with you!" She blasted the wages collector with a wave of danmaku and the agent shrieked.
"He screams like a girl," Okuu noted.
"Yea, pretty much any mortal staring into the face of eternal damnation does so." Orin remarked, undoing her hair that suspiciously stood like horns. She also undressed herself out of the red jumpsuit she wore. "So, what did you wanted to talk about?"
The nuclear hell angel blushed, prodding her fingers together nervously. "Unyu... I... I've been feeling a tad funny lately..."
Rin noticed the younger girl was looking away with a shy look on her face. She's so cute! Ahem. "You've been feeling weird as of late? Do explain, Okuu..."
It was quite odd that a hell raven, whom stood well over six feet tall was afraid of looking a much shorter individual in the eyes. Orin was only an inch or two over five feet and the raven was almost twice her size. Okuu weighed at an impressive one hundred seven-
"Hmm!" Okuu glared at no one in particular. Cutting her description of her body mass off abruptly.
"That was a close one," Rin remarked. "It's better for one to stop while they're ahead instead of getting into deep shit."
"As I was saying..." Okuu resumed. "The feelings I've been having. They're strange. It's... it's... like a fire burning in my chest..." she opened her blouse, displaying the red orb of the Yatagarasu between the swell of her luscious pearls. "And it's not this thing, either."
Rin stared at Okuu's bosom thoughtfully (and appreciating the sight of the hell angel's tig-o-bitties). "Hmm? Are you sure it's not that thing?" She indicated towards the third eye.
"Not. It's not," Okuu relayed, her left titty flexing inadvertently (nice muscle control!). She almost flashed her best friend. "This thing burns from time to time. It's nothing I can handle. But what I'm talkin' about is a different kind of burn..." Okuu's cheeks sudden colored crimson. "Unyu... a kind of burn that makes my heart beat fast and makes me... want to do things..."
Wait. Didn't Rin heard the younger girl right? "What kind of things, Okuu?"
This time, Okuu's arms (along with the visible part of her right) and legs were claimed in a blush of embarrassment. "Don't make me try to explain it, Rin." Utsuho chided. "I guess it was a bad idea to talk about it."
"Oh no you don't," Rin wasn't letting her buddy off that easily. "You're putting your wonder up into the air and we're going to talk about it. You piqued my curiosity, toots. Whether you like it or not."
"Unyu..." Okuu flapped her wings, filling the grand room with a comforting breeze. "Maybe I should talk to Satori-sama when she gets back."
While the younger girl blushed, flinched, and behaved like a lovestruck schoolgirl, Rin was busy adding things up. Shyness, fast heart rate... and heat. Hmm? The kassha suddenly widened her eyes as an inkling of what Okuu was talking about dawned on her. "Oh shit!" Rin gasped.
Okuu whipped around to speak to Rin again. "Wh-what?"
"Damn." Rin cursed with a contemplative face. Okuu was a relatively young creature. She's been alive for a little over twenty years but she may very well live several centuries before she expire. On a nice note, the nuclear hell angel will retain her good looks and hot, luscious bod until the day she die. So... at her current age, it's very possible that Okuu may be going through a phase. And it's not the menstrual cycle. That is nothing new to her. "Damn. Damn. DAMN! DAMN!"
Okuu cutely tilted her head to the side. "Orin?"
Heat.
"Ah, Okuu... tell me something," Rin stuttered. "When was the last time you saw a hell raven?"
Okuu gasped. "I.. I... saw one flying around the Ancient City earlier."
"That's not what I meant," Orin reprimanded, just as nervous. "Actually, I kinda do mean that but... when was the last time you saw a male raven? A guy?"
At the kassha's inquiry, steam suddenly erupted from Okuu's ears, along with a whistling sound.
Oh shit. "Are the male of your species are the cause of your... funny feelings?" Orin pressed.
"Unyu! Yes! Yes!" Okuu exhaled, smoke billowing from her mouth like a dragon.
It's official: Okuu's in heat.
Orin was laughing. "Ha! Ha! Ha! This is beyond hilarious! And yet... totally cute."
"Hey! Stop that!" Okuu demanded. "Don't laugh at me!"
Orin wiped a tear from her left eye. "Heh heh... sorry about that. I just couldn't help it. This is totally unexpected coming from you."
"Ooh!" Okuu pouted. "That's not funny! I have feelings, you know!"
"Hey c'mere," Orin gestured and Okuu approached her. The kassha whispered something into the hell ravens ear. Soon enough, Okuu gasped and a mischievous grin formed on Orin's face. "And that's the feeling that you're talking about."
Okuu was astounded. Her best friend knew the feeling all too well! She was not alone in this! "Wow! I'm glad that you understand what I'm going through, Orin-chan. So does that mean that you sometimes want to strip off your clothes and-"
"Hey! Easy there, girl!" Rin stopped the hell raven before she could embarrass her. "A little too much information, there! I mean, I can understand- Sufferin' Succotash! What are you doing? Not now, Okuu!"
Sure enough, the nuclear hell angel was sliding a pair of black panties down her thighs. They were slightly stretched. "What?" Okuu wondered.
The evil spirits that were hell-bound were now busy ogling Okuu. They were wolf-whistling, cat-calling, and tossing whatever cash they had in their pockets.
"Take it off!"
"Yea, girl! YEA!"
"Tickle it! Tickle it!"
"Work it, big baby!"
"Show me a good time before I cook for an eternity!"
"That's it!" Orin donned on her red jumpsuit and her pigtails were imitating horns again. "No more assin' around! Go to hell! The bunch of you!"
Why in the hell is she cosplaying as the devil in the first place?
Meh.
MUENZUKA
The isolated locale of Gensokyou was just as peaceful and beautiful as she remembered. The tree and flowers enclosed this place in abundance. Petals of cherry blossoms littered the area as if they were the tear of Gensokyou. Various animals were now occupying the place but there were no signs of Koishi. She couldn't sense any youkai thoughts nor auras for that matter. Satori decided not to venture deep into these badlands in serene disguise. There was a graveyard for the loneliest of people about three miles north. Said graveyard was Muenzuka's signature landmark.
"She's not here," sighed Satori as she sat near a tree. "I guess Joe-san was mistaken."
Satori employed her third eye, reading the thoughts of the wilderness for clues. There were a herd of deer, a group of rabbits, a monkey (turned out to be Jiro), and a rather lazy mountain lion. None of them has seen Koishi. Satori decided to give up her search for Koishi and wait for her to return to Chireiden. A sense of sadness suddenly overtook her. "It's no use. I might as well wait for Koishi to return home. I better get going."
And then... there was a clue: a vague image of Koishi.
Satori jumped to her feet in alarm. The mental image was emitting southward, on the Road of Reconsideration. Yet, the most surprising aspect about this development was the fact that the thoughts were not coming from a youkai nor a woodland creature.
They were coming from a human!
"It can't be," Satori wondered. "Why would a human be there? That path is especially dangerous to humans. And yet, this one knows of Koishi. The human isn't far, very close to this place, as a matter of fact. Maybe... just maybe..."
Satori hovered above the ground and took flight, following the final clue to Koishi's whereabouts.
THE HUMAN VILLAGE
"You know," Alice began as she sat underneath a hut. "Hanging around with you while you're shopping for clothes comes as a bit of surprise to me. In fact, you're the last person I expect to go on a splurge for spring kimonos."
Marisa joined the puppeteer under the hut. She removed the witch hat off her head. "What do ya expect? It's spring, Alice. Besides..." The Ordinary Magician caught the sight of a young male worker. She whistled in appreciation. "I sure could use a fixer-upper this season." A grin appeared on her face as she nudged Alice's shoulder. "If ya know what I mean."
Damn. Marisa was full of surprises today. "You're having lust aches, Marisa?" Alice said, wanting to laugh at the witch badly. "Vying for the company of a strapping young male, are we?"
"Whatever," Marisa scoffed. "It's better than being home along all alone with a bunch of dolls and walking around the place with only a bra and panties, ze."
Alice narrowed her eyes. "Tch. Just what are you talking about? It's good for the mind, body, and spirit to saunter around the comfort of your own home in your underwear. You should try it. Improves personal hygiene, too."
"That's what she said~" Marisa sang, her grin devilish. "To be specific, Eirin must have told you that."
Alice gasped. "N-no! Any good doctor would recommend that!"
"Heh he he!" Marisa giggled. "There was even that time when Aya caught you having a tea party while you were wearing a black bra and a lacy pair of panties. And I have to say that was a small pair you had on that day."
"What?" Alice spat. "That Aya! That damned eavesdropping, slandering, surreptitious tengu!"
"Ha! Ha! Calm down, Alice." Marisa suggested. "At least Aya caught ya on one of your good days." She rose from her seat under the hut. "C'mon. Let's head over to the Hakurei Shrine. Ya know, see how's Reimu doing today. But first... I wanna buy another kimono, preferably a short one. I gotta catch a man."
Alice followed her neighbor through the village bazaar, curious. "Marisa, I'm sure that you will find one. To be honest, you're not bad looking at all."
"Pfft! Oh please," Marisa guffawed. "With the likes of you, Reimu, Sanae, and Keine that frequents this place, my competition is tough. I really have to work hard to get so much a fleeting glance from a man. You, on the other hand..." She suddenly grabbed Alice by the hem of her skirt and gave it an uplift. "It's pink Friday!"
"AHH!" Alice shrieked, her pink underwear rudely being shown to the world. Damn near every male in the vicinity of the village took a nice view of Alice's panties. Even a small number of females enjoyed the display as well. A tear escaped her eye as she gave Marisa a hot glare.
"MA... RI... SAAAAA!"
MYOUREN TEMPLE
"Ah... mercy me," Byakuren Hijiri sighed, bedridden. "This is quite a bad time of year to catch a cold. It appears that even the mighty youkai aren't immune to disease." She was resting on a futon in her room. She glanced at a small statue of a Bodhisattva near her bookshelf, and rested her sight on a painting of Buddha. A smile formed on her full lips despite her health. "I guess... that this is a test for me to overcome."
"Shh. Try not to talk so much," Shou Toramaru chided, applying a cool washcloth on the bedfast mystic's forehead. "And it would appear that you've caught more than just a mere cold, Hijiri-donno. This looks like a case of a full-blown influenza."
"Oh my... that's... bad," Byakuren coughed. "Never had the flu before. I guess there's a first time to everything, huh?"
"You're certainly right about that," Shou replied, finding Byakuren's sense of humor contagious.
"However..." Hijiri began, her voice growing hoarse. "What I cannot understand, for the life of me, is why would I get sick during the beginning of Spring?" The youkai savior's mindset suddenly regressed to that of a little girl. "Why did I get sick? Why? Why? Why!" Her arms and legs were flailing during her tantrum.
"Hijiri-donno!" Shou held her dear mentor down in alarm. "Calm yourself, please! You need to rest your body if you're looking forward to a fast recovery." Byakuren kicked the comforter off of her body, revealing the short black yukata she wore. "For Bishamonten's sake, you're behaving like the goddess up in Youkai Mountain."
"But it's Spring, Shou." Byakuren whined, her brown eyes wide with childish fervor. "It's beautiful out there today. I don't need to be stuck in my bed all day. I need to get out there and get some fresh springtime air!"
"You can do just that as soon as you recover!" Shou urged.
"Ooh! It's not fair, I tell you." The gradient haired knockout pouted.
"Well it seems like Anee-san is faring much better than before," came the voice of Ichirin Kumoi. She was carrying a tray of white tea. "I'm very thankful that Kyouko was around when she fainted."
"Yes. Aren't we all?" Shou replied, messaging a still-pouting Byakuren on her shoulders. "Who knows what may have happened if she were still unconscious along the path to Youkai Mountain."
"Hold on a moment," Byakuren said to her youkai companions, curious. "I... fainted?"
Ichirin nodded. "Fainted, you did Anee-san. You and Kyouko were on the way to the Moriya Shrine, but you suddenly fell ill. The moment you lost consciousness, Kyouko was wailing like Gabriel's Trumpet."
"Yes. Yes. You're right," Byakuren pressed her forehead with the damp cloth. "I'd thought it was a bad idea to head to the shrine today. I woke up with a terrible migraine this morning."
Ichirin sat the tray near the futon. Noticeably, she looked quite motherly without her hood and wearing her hair in a high ponytail. "And you scared the poor yamabiko half to death. I'm afraid the entire mountain shook while she was screaming."
"My goodness. Good thing I was already comatose when she started shrieking then," Byakuren giggled, her tongue lolling out of her mouth. The cute gesture was very reminiscent to a trademark of a certain karakasa. "Speaking of Kyouko, where is she?"
"Right here," Murasa appeared in the room with Kyouko in tow. "C'mon girl. Byakuren's awake. You can come in and see her."
The mountain youkai was fiddling her index fingers together nervously. "Uh... you kinda scared me earlier Byakuren-sama. First you were blushing, then you felt scorching hot to the touch, and then... WAH! I thought that you were going to die out there!"
"Don't worry your cute little head, Kyouko-chan." Byakuren reassured, flexing her lithe arms humorously. "I'm fine. It takes more than a springtime flu to take me out. I'm always here for all of- Kgh! Kgh! Kgh!" The monk doubled over as a coughing outburst overtook her. "Y... yea. I'm a big strong girl."
"While your illness didn't took you out," Ichirin sighed. "It certainly did knock you down."
"It damn sure did laid a number on ya," Murasa joked. "You got knocked the fu-"
"Murasa!" Ichirin scolded.
"What?"
"Language. No need for that line anyway."
Murasa scratched the back of her head with a huge grin. "Whoops. Sorry."
"Anyway..." the gypsy-like youkai returned her attention to Hijiri. "You lie back down and get yourself some more rest. You need to relax and drink plenty of fluids. Allow us to prepare your baths and meals. Soon enough, you'll break your illness in no time."
At that moment, there was an odd moment of silence. Everyone in the room stared at the wanyuudou in silent astonishment. Of course, Ichirin noticed the stares and it was making her highly uncomfortable. Why were the others staring at her like that? What gives? "Uh... girls... what's with the unnerving stares?"
Shou was the first to respond. "Ya know, if I didn't know any better... you sounded like a mother just now."
"Eh?" Ichirin was caught off guard by the tigress' ridiculous assumption. "Don't be ridiculous! I'm just concerned for Anee-san's health, that's all. I mean, she DID fainted due to her ailment today. She needs medical attention. What true friend wouldn't be concerned for her?"
Byakuren was now staring at Kumoi with morbid fascination. The wanyuudou looked quite attractive without her hood. And the white long-sleeved blouse she was wearing looked snug over her bountiful bosom. The monk noticed that they bounced whenever Kumoi made the slightest of movements. The nyuudou summoner's rack was as big as her own, if not, slightly bigger. "Hmm..." Byakuren said.
"What?" Ichirin was shrinking from the intensity of the stares.
And then, the Youchrist said, "Mama."
"Mama?" Ichirin recoiled in confusion.
Shou knew exactly what her mentor mean. "Honestly, Ichirin. That's no surprise, there."
Kyouko was confused. Murasa had a knowing smirk on her lips. "Oh, how we envy you Kumoi." The sailor guffawed.
Ichirin blushed. The girls were raping her with their eyes. "Stop that. I had these things since... forever."
"Look at em'!" Byakuren pointed at Kumoi's chest. "They remind me of my mother. You have an uncanny resemblance to her, Ichirin-san."
"You're embarrassing me, Anee-san," Ichirin pouted. "I know that I have a motherly appearance, but- What in the world? Kyouko! Got off of me!"
The cute little yamabiko was hugging Ichirin, her head submerged in Ichirin's voluptuary pearls. "Mama. Umm... they're so soft. Even softer than my pillow."
"Yea," Murasa Minamitsu joined the fun. She messaged her head underneath Kumoi's left breast, nodding up and down. "Incredibly soft. Damn girl, the boob fairy has been good to you."
"Guys, please!" Ichirin pleaded, her eyes giant white dots. "Leave my titties alone. You're all creeping me out!"
"And they're even bigger than mine!" Byakuren guffawed. "And that's saying a lot."
"Well now, shall we call you Mama Kumoi from here on out?" Shou joked.
"Shou! You're not making this any easier on me!" Ichirin squealed, smothered in lolis. A gasp suddenly escaped her. "Watch it, Murasa! That tickled."
"Aw! Can you blame me?" The funayurei remarked, stealing a squeeze and enjoying the moment. "I'm just another flat-chested, hard-bitten girl that loves titties."
"Ahhhh..." Kyouko was still fuddled in right boob goodness. She was in pure bliss. "This is heaven."
Tears escaped Ichirin's black eyes. "Oooohh..."
"Hey, what's with all the commotion up here?" Came a bratty, hoydenish voice.
"Nothing much, Nue," Shou replied as the sexy sphinx arrived into Hijiri's room. "It's just another day in paradise."
"Yea," Murasa added in her two cents. "Come join us in some titty worship!"
"Tee-he!" Kyouko giggled, using her head to make squishing sounds on the nun's bosom.
Nue gave Ichirin and the two girls smothering her a flat look. "No thanks. If Kumoi gets any redder then I think that she would explode."
Byakuren was still staring at Ichirin. "Mama."
A frown marked Nue's face. "Oh... kay. Looks like her fever's affecting her mentality as well." She pivoted her gaze upon the tigress. "What?"
"Looks like it has been an uneventful day for you, no." Shou mentioned, noticing the air of nonchalance over Nue. "First day of Spring was a little boring for your tastes, Nue?"
The nue rolled her eyes. "Shou... you have no idea."
"Where's Kogasa, by the way?" Shou followed.
"I dunno and I don't care." Nue relayed flatly. "She's hanging out with Rumia today doing hell knows what. Probably doing parlor tricks in the Human Village or something."
Shou could sense tension coming from the lithe abomination. With a smirk on her lips, Shou asked Nue "So... you mean to tell me that today's been an interesting one for you?"
"Not in the way that you're thinking," Nue quickly bit out.
"Then enlighten me, old friend." Shou must be related to the Cheshire Cat because she damn sure looks like that creepy furball now.
"Help... me..." came Ichirin's plea. Byakuren was adoring her mounds now.
Nue ignored the nun. "If you must know, then I'll tell ya!" Nue began. "That curse goddess that lives in the-"
And speak of the devil. There was a sudden puff of smoke in the room. "Hiiii~!"
Shou gasped in alert. "Kagiyama-sama! What are you doing here?"
Hearts were literally hovering around the beautiful curse goddess. "Ah. And a good afternoon to you, Shou-tan. Isn't it a lovely day?"
Shou bowed, displaying utmost respect to Hina. The legendary woodlands goddess has the potential of being the most dangerous creature in existence. Long ago,even her mentor, Bishamonten, took note of Hina's potentiality. "Ah! Yes it is, Kagiyama-sama. How could I expect less from the first day of Spring?"
Hina giggled. "At ease, warrior. You're awfully tense."
"You..." Nue growled. "You followed me here. And here I thought I've escaped you but you were following me the entire time!"
Hina turned to regard Nue and her face lit up like downtown Vegas. "Aw... quite a temper you got there. Besides, my black-skirted love machine of mass misfortune, you can't escape me. So long as the aura of misfortune shrouds you, you're never free from me."
"Well... that seems... horribly messed up." Nue remarked sardonically.
"Guys! Seriously, HELP ME!" Ichirin was dog-piled by Byakuren, Kyouko, and Murasa. She was drowning in molestation. "Eek! Gimme back my shirt, Murasa!"
Murasa tossed the nun's shirt away and it landed on top of Hina's head. "Hmm, that's a mighty peculiar situation your friend's in."
"Don't mind them, Ichirin will survive." Shou muttered.
"So now that you know where I live at," Nue complained to the curse goddess. "I demand you to leave this place at once. You frilly, curse-hunting stalker, you!"
"Nue!" Shou admonished. "That is no way for you to talk to Kagiyama-sama!"
"I do as I choose and I answer to no one!" Nue snapped.
"Nue! Don't make me go Red Sonja on your ass!" Shou warned, now armed with her naginata.
Nue approached the tigress and stood before the taller girl in a standoff. Though, Shou was considerably bigger than Nue, the black clad monster was totally unmoved. She held her pole-arm in her hands and her maverick wings wavered dangerously. "You're feeling like Suwako, then leap, bitch."
"I'll make you mine instead," Shou remarked, baring her fangs.
"Uwah! Such misfortune!" Hina swooned. "But, please, ladies... there's no need for such animosity. No conflict. No pressure."
"Animosity huh? I wonder what could be the cause?" Nue muttered darkly. Hina suddenly embraced her from behind. "Uhhwwrraaaah! Watch the hands!"
Hina giggled like a lovestruck schoolgirl. "Tee-he! Oh Nue-tan! You're so cute being mean. The blackness of your heart... the misfortune you're radiating... exquisite! I can just take you home with me! Oh ho ho ho ho!"
"I'm not going anywhere with- Uhhwrraaaaah!" Nue's boyish scream filled the room. "Get your hands off my ass! Stop molesting me!"
On the other side of the room, Ichirin's voice was heard. "Welcome to the club..."
"Smooth and soft. They're heavenly!"
"They have a nice suppleness to them. And quite firm, too. Plus, both your aureola are works of art, Kumoi-san. Ooh! How I envy you!"
"Titty! Titty! Titty!"
"Gee, thanks for the bout of confidence, Kumoi!" Nue growled. Hina suddenly nibbled on her left ear. "Would you stop it already? It's creepy!"
"It would appear that your dark aura of misfortune is a sort of aphrodisiac to Kagiyama-sama," Shou surmised. "Therefore, she finds you utterly irresistible."
"No shit, Conan. Even Cirno could figured that one out." Nue snarked, right before she felt Hina's hand on her rear again. "Hey! What did I tell you about putting your hands there? Do you wanna keep your hands?"
"But it's so soft and squishy!" Hina beamed. "I'd never imagined a surplus of misfortune would come in such a lovely package. Your body's a soft contrast's to the hard-boiled troublesome vibes in your heart. I love it! I'll do anything to collect that darkness from you."
That piqued the nue's interest, despite her current situation. "Anything? You'll do... anything?"
"Yep." Hina assured. "Tell me what it is and it's done."
Nue was astonished. "Damn."
"Now, what would you like for me to do?" Hina implored. "My sexy little demon harbinger of hard luck, you!"
Nue's eyes became shifty and an evil smirked marked her lips. "Hmm..."
"Nue..." Shou growled.
Nue ignored the tigress' threat. She didn't gave a damn anyway. "Yea! Go jump off a cliff!"
Shou gasped. Kumoi and the others that were smothering her did the same.
To their horror, the curse goddess released the nue and saluted. "You wish is my command!" After the declaration, Hina began spinning like a drill and disappeared in a puff of smoke. She reappeared in front of the entrance of the temple. "Yoo-hoo! Down here!"
The entire residence of Myouren (sans Kogasa and Nazrin) rushed to the nearest window to witness the curse goddess' amorous lunacy. Hina was already in a runner's crouch. "Here I go!" The Nagashibina deity suddenly took off running, her speed easily rivaling that of Aya Shameimaru. The ladies of Myourenji watched in complete awe as Hina made a smoking trail towards the nearby drop-off. Kyouko covered her eyes with her hands, she refused to be traumatized at a young age.
Hina reached the cliff and performed a dazzling ballerina's somersault off of it. "GERONIMOOOOO!" And then, after a pregnant silence...
SPLAT!
No, rephrase that sound-effect.
BOOM!
"Well screw me raw without a rubber," Murasa whistled. "She actually did it!"
"Unbelievable..." the now topless Ichirin said in awe. Despite trying her best to cover her chest with her arms, she felt a smooth hand pinched her left boob. "For the love of the eight millions gods, stop that!"
"Titty-titty!" Murasa giggled, guilty as charged.
"And to think, all this time... all I could of done was asked.," Nue stated in amazement.
"Can I open my eyes now?" Said Kyouko.
"That was mean, Nue. Totally unethical!" Shou admonished. "Hijiri-donno, she shouldn't have-"
"Uhh..." Byakuren suddenly fainted, partly due to her illness, but more so to Hina fulfilling Nue's horrid request.
"Hijiri-donno!"
"Anee-san!"
"Byakuren-chan!"
"What the hell- Byakuren!"
"BYAKUREN-SAMAAAAAA!"
The youkai of Myourenji all went to the ailing monk's aid. Ichirin sat the savior up into an upright position. She checked her temperature. "Not good. Anee-san's fever is shooting through the roof. Toramaru, bring some ice."
"Right." Shou nodded and dashed out the room. Murasa followed along with the tigress.
"BYAKUREN-SAMAAAA!" Kyouko wailed.
"Got-damn it, kid! Would you calm down?" Nue grabbed the yamabiko by her arm. "Cut out that racket! You wailing like a banshee isn't going to help anything!"
"But—but, this is the second time Byakuren-sama fainted today!" Kyouko whined.
"Jeez! You're one irritating little mountain gremlin, ya know that," Nue trolled. "Irritating as hell!"
Kyouko's eyes suddenly glistened with moisture. "Meanie! You're such a meanie, Nue! You big, fat-butted meanie!" The yamabiko stuck her tongue out at the nue. "See if I be friendly with you from here on out, donkey-butt!"
Nue blushed in embarrassment. She hate it when someone makes a comment on her sizable derriere. "Why you little prick!"
"What? You're angry now, ya big bully?" Kyouko was the troll now. "In order to compensate for your flat chest you have a butt that is as big as that of a village mule! Pettan-chan!"
Nue's eyes were glistening as well. "You take that back, you little monster!"
Tears were streaming down Kyouko's cheeks, but her insults still came. "Eeh-aaaaargh! Eeh-aaaaargh! Hey look! I'm Nue the Donkey! Eee-aaaaargh!"
"Fuck you too, you little motherfucker!" Nue cried. "I oughta knock the lolipop juice outta your got-damn mouth!"
Kyouko continued to bray like a wild mule, her ears flapping violently. "Eee-aaaaargh!"
Ichirin just had about enough of their childish behavior. "Would you two keep quiet! Shut up already!" The nue and yamabiko immediately did as they were told. "Anee-san is gravely ill and here you two are, bickering like fairies!"
Nue tried to defend herself. "But Kumoi, did you heard what this little-"
"Nue, you're over eight hundred years old. Kyouko's a mere child," Ichirin reprimanded. "You're supposed to be the mature one. Besides, it's your fault that she fainted. Anee-san passed out from the shock of witnessing Hina leaping from the cliff."
Speak of the devil. Again. Hina reappeared after a puff of smoke. "I'm back~!" She regarded Nue. "I told you that your wish is my command."
"You!" Nue shrieked in disbelief. "But how? You should be at least injured!"
"Oh, you silly silly little nue," Hina clasped her hands together in delight. "I'm a goddess remember? I'm incredibly resilient. Even more so than you youkai. I'm tougher than the toughest kassha, and as durable as the mightiest oni."
"But that's not fair!" Nue complained. "You've survived the fall without even a scratch!"
"Yes. I survived. And I done it on Lunatic difficulty!" Hina was immensely please with herself. "Now, my precious ill-fated bundle of misfortune, is the time to claim what is rightfully mine!"
"What's rightfully yours?" Nue asked, confused. "What the hell do ya- Uwrraaaah!"
"Aha!" Hina lifted the nue effortlessly off of her feet. She brought Nue's face close to hers and puckered her lips. "Gimme a kiss! Your misfortune is mine!"
Ichirin chose the moment to place her hands over Kyouko's eyes.
After a minute long smooch, a high-pitched scream filled the entire vicinity of the Myouren Temple.
"Nuuuueeeeeen!"
THE ROAD OF RECONSIDERATION
Satori found the culprit at last. She saw a male human who was sitting in the meadows a little way off the path. He was completely oblivious to Satori's presence. The satori slowly approached the resting human. She gasped when she stepped on a twig which made an audible snap. However, the man didn't notice the sound. Take it easy, Satori. You don't want to scare him off. Just ask for the whereabouts of Koishi and that's a wrap.
Satori was mere yards behind the young man now. Curiously, he had a large sketch pad with him. Something on the pad caught Satori's attention, however...
On the paper, there was a perfect sketch of Koishi's profile! This man, Satori's mind thought in alarm. He must have encountered my sister!
The esper decided that now was the time to break the silence. "Excuse me..."
The man jumped in surprise as a response, drawing out a dagger. "Who? What? Where?"
Satori wanted to giggle, despite herself. "Do not be alarmed. I come in peace."
"Huh?" He caught a glimpse at a lovely pink haired female. "Oh. I'm sorry, miss."
"There's no need. I should be the one apologizing." Satori replied. She noticed that the stranger was a grown man, yet boyish. He has long black hair that was tied up in a style that Satori haven't seen in centuries. Even the human males at the village didn't sport such a feudal hairstyle. He was thinking of peaceful things: the pond, the clear skies above, the landscape, and Koishi. "So terribly sorry to alarm you."
"No worries, miss." The young man replied. "Would you like to sit next to me? It's a nice day for sky-watching."
"Hmm. I rather not," Satori replied. "I'm sort of in a hurry, you see. So allow me to cut to the chase and to not dispense any more of your time."
"Sure. What is it?"
Satori hesitated. "Do you know that girl that's depicted in your art-book?"
"Hmm. Good question," the young man rolled on his side and took the sketchbook in his grasp. "Have you seen this girl before?"
"She is my sister." Satori informed the young man directly. The young man took the moment to take a good look at the girl standing before him. He suddenly blushed and looked away. Satori noticed his thoughts went from indifference to... admiration. My goodness. He likes what he sees. This is kinda odd. "You met this girl before, correct?"
The youth undid his ancient hairstyle, his hair billowing down to the center of his back. "Ma'am, to tell ya the truth, the girl was a figment of my imagination. I've seen her in dreams but I would have never imagined that she was real. To actually discover that she actually exists... is incredible!"
"Look at me," Satori commanded, and the youth did so. "Can you see the family resemblance?"
"Y-yea," he stammered, blushing. "This is unreal, like some sort of grandiose twist of fate. Perhaps this is very much a plot of the gods-"
"Have you seen my sister?" Satori interrupted him in a serious tone, gripping his shirt. "You two actually met?" He likes my eyes. What an odd fellow, indeed.
"Umm... you've already asked me that." The man informed. "You can let go of my collar now, miss."
This man speaks the truth. He has never met Koishi. "Again, I apologize." Satori told him. "It's just... it's been a long day for me. Please don't mind me if I appear a little harsh."
"It's okay, really." The young man reassured. "At least you're a lot nicer than the girls back in Kobe. I've been living here for almost two years and I've just discovered that the girls here are just as mean."
Is he... flirting we me? Yes, he is! He's undressing me with his eyes even as he speaks! Wait a second. He's from Kobe? That means... "You're not from Gensokyou, am I right?" Should I tell him that I'm a youkai? Is it fair to inform him that I'm a mind-reading monster?
"Yep. You've guessed it." He gave her a wide grin. "Gee, how you know? The Kobe part was a dead giveaway, huh?"
He's courting me! Using humor as an aphrodisiac... what should I do? Curious, Satori asked the young man "What is your name? Are you alone in Gensokyou?"
"Iga. Iori Iga. And I live here with my grandmother," Iori revealed. "She's my last known relative."
Satori observed the scenes of his past; only child, mother claimed by sickness, father killed in duty. He was lonely. He also met a rather annoyed Yukari whom was reluctant to allow him to move into Gensokyou. The poor soul. "I'm... so sorry to hear that, Iga-san."
"No need for formalities, friend. Just call me Iori." Iori giggled, his handsome hair waving in the breeze. "Besides, what's your name? Since you now know mine I guess it would be a fair exchange if I know yours."
Very well. He's nice enough, despite his thoughts, he's innocent. "Komeiji. Satori Komeiji.
"Satori. That's a pretty name," said Iori. "Although, now that I think about it... isn't that the name... of some kind of youkai?"
"You are correct, Iori. I am a youkai," Satori revealed, gazing into his deep dark eyes. "To be more precise, I bear the very name of my species. The satori."
"A satori?" Iori wondered, his mind settling on ancient paintings for some reason. "What's that? Are your species dangerous?"
Satori sighed. "Iori... please take a look at this," she held up her third eye. Might as well get it over with. "This is... this... Iori this is my third eye."
Iori stared at Satori's anatomy in befuddlement. "That thing's an eye? And here I thought that it was some sort of charm. Or a dream-catcher. Or a weird looking stethoscope."
"Hmm!" Satori glared at the boy, and yet he was genuinely confused. "I'll tell you once again Iori, I'm a youkai. I... am... not... human."
Satori didn't have to be a mind-reader to sense surprise coming from the young man. Just as I thought. He's reluctant now. Then Iori said something that caught her totally off guard. "And you're the prettiest girl that I have ever laid eyes on!" He blurted out.
Satori gasped, her third eye wide open with utter surprise. This boy! To think that he actually has feelings for me! But... what is this I'm feeling? I'm the loveliest girl he ever laid eyes on? Is he telling the... yes. He's serious! "Don't be ridiculous!" Satori fluttered her violet eyes. "You mean to tell me of all the female of your kind to be attracted to... you find me the fairest?"
Iori blushed. He couldn't help. Might as well let his attraction towards her be known. "Uh... yes."
Cold laughter erupted from the satori. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Preposterous! Iori, don't develop a crush on me. Please don't. We'll be much better off if we part ways this instant."
"But... why?"
"Iori. Iori. Iori..." Satori nodded her head sympathetically. "You're a human. I'm a mind-reading satori. Nothing good will come out of this. I guarantee you."
"But... wait a tick?" Iori's eyes widened in shock. "You can read my mind?"
"I'm afraid so," Satori confirmed.
"Holy shit! I'm sorry!" Iori's curious thoughts fell completely. Almost.
Satori sighed, she detected a certain question in the back of his head. "Yes Iori, if you must know, they're purple. Bow-tie and all."
"Wow! You weren't kidding about mind-reading," Iori replied in amazement.
"And I appreciate the complements about my eyes," Satori added with a ghost of a knowing smile. "The fragrance I'm wearing is called Underworld Queen and my three sizes are 34-26..."
"Okay! Okay! I get it!" Iori punched the top of his head. Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thoughts! Think un-sexy thought!
"Now you're thinking of obese women, slugs, something called Modern Warfare 2, and... an effeminate kid that goes by the name of Justin Beiber." Satori informed him with a flat gaze. Cute. He finds me sexy. "And I think your sideburns and facial stubble are quite nice."
Iori was clutching his head now. "Stop that!"
"As you can see, a relationship between us will never work out." Satori turned on her heels and looked back at Iori, whom was on his knees, panting hoarsely. "I must leave. While our little encounter... proved entertaining, I bid you farewell. Please forget about me, Iori. Wipe my very existence from your memory." Satori walked off, a tear sliding down her cheek.
And then, "W-wait!"
Ooh! Don't make this harder than it needs to be! Satori whipped around in a huff. "What?"
"Miss Satori," he stood up and bowed. "I would like for us to meet here again!"
Satori gasped. This kid was a regular spontaneous roller-coaster. Iori was surely full of surprises. Don't say yes! Walk off! Refuse his friendship, Satori! Nothing good can come out of this, girl!
Satori gave him her final answer: "Yes. I would love to... Iori."
Idiot!
CHIREDEN
"Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!" Satori cursed herself once she arrived in her throne room. "Just what in the Hell of Blazing Fires was I thinking? I can't meet up with him!Both youkai and human would frown upon us if they ever found out about us!"
"So. I see you like the present that I've sent you," Koishi Komeiji mentioned, appearing on her big sister's throne. "Tell me Big Sis, how was he? How did you like the present from your dear ol little sister?"
"You! You had something to do with this!" Satori pointed at her sister accusingly. "You had a hand in this and you were manipulating poor Iori subconsciously! I should have known, Koishi. I've should have known!"
Koishi giggled, despite the malevolent look in her eyes. "Hee heh he! Relax, Big Sis. It's just a human male. Of course I had a hand in your fated meeting, but Iori's feelings are his own. The boy finds you quite... delicious. Ha."
"He's in love with me, Koishi!" Satori replied in a frustrated tone. "I've spent all day, looking for you and you lead me to a human from the outside world. He knows nothing of Gensokyou! Why did you do it, Koishi? Why?"
A bed of roses appeared around Chireiden's throne. "Why? You wonder why, Big Sis? Here's why: I did it for you! Yes. You."
"That man is falling in love with me!" Satori repeated. "It's not fair!"
"I can see that. Iori's feelings are indeed real, Big Sis." Koishi dismounted the throne and approached Satori. "I see that meeting him was one of the greatest things that ever happened to you."
"Koishiiiii..." Satori fell to her knees. "That was uncalled for! It's not fair!"
"It was fate, Big Sis," Koishi laughed. "Fate is the ultimate fairness. You're lonely, Sis. I've done you a favor. I've found the perfect suitor for you. A man that is just as lonely as you are! He is someone you need in your life!"
"You're wrong..." Satori glared into Koishi's intense eyes with tears in her own. "Koishi, you're wrong! Do you not realize the severity of your whims? Are you aware of the possible consequences if I decide to return his feelings?"
"Well... then I'll be an aunt." Koishi remarked.
"That is not funny!"
"Maybe not the feelings that you have for him..." Koishi began. "But your notion of reopening my third eye is! Did you noticed how terrified Iori was when you were reading his thoughts?"
Satori gasped once again. "Of course I do."
"And you actually think that I would want to open my third eye again?" Koishi scoffed. "Really, Sis, I appreciate the concern but it's redundant. I am not going back to living in rejection because of youkai and humans fearing my power! I refuse to return to such a despicable lifestyle!"
"Koishi..." Satori whispered. "What does Iori has to do with this? Leave him out of this! He's innocent!"
"Fufufu... I don't intend on harming him, Sis." Said Koishi, whirling her hat on her index finger. "I'm actually helping him out. After all, he met you, the Hearfelt Fancy from the Underworld. Return his feelings, Sis. I can see it burning bright in your subconscious."
"No." Satori uttered.
"It's there, Big Sis. It's inevitable."
"No..."
"It was love at first sight."
"NO!"
"You're in denial."
"No I'm not," Satori gathered herself back on her feet, conspiring something. "But...one thing's for certain, Koishi: I will meet with him again. I'm going to reveal everything to him. I'm going to tell him about you, Orin, Okuu, the Ancient City, Hell of Blazing Fires- all of it." Satori made a malevolent smirk of her own. "He will soon know, Koishi. Iori will know that I'm the devil of Old Hell. Fufufu... he will flee in terror and it will be happily-ever-after for me."
Koishi gave her older sister a very dark look. "Still lying to yourself, eh? Very well. By all means, tell your beloved your entire life's story. Let's just sit back and watch what happens. I can guarantee you that something very interesting will happen."
"Hmm-hmm..." Satori cackled despite herself. She will prove Koishi wrong. "We shall see, my sister. Don't let anything surprise you..."
END OF TALE
And that's the end of this tale... and the beginning of the Komeiji descent to madness. Christ in a diesel truck! The Komeijis are hard to write about. I just wanted to thank the readers and fellow authors for checking out my fics. It's kinda hard to believe that I've just gotten into Touhou last fall, and yet, here I am with a few Touhou drafts on my flash drives.
And Iori Iga... at least he has a name. And a face. Honestly, if any Touhou girl is going to fall for a man, at least give him a face (glares at danbooru for the trauma). Give the lucky bastard at least a detailed description, or a brief background check if that's not too much to ask. Bah. I guess it's whatever rolls your boat.
Oh! Please forgive me for the devilment that I've put Kumoi and Nue through. Shit, I even felt for Hina when she jumped off of that cliff. It's all about love, baby! Just thought I show them some love because I personally think that they don't get enough.
I also would like to thank Acharith1 for beta reading this thing. Man, your advice were extremely helpful. Plus thanks to you, I was about to give my muse the pick-me-up it so desperately needed.
And, oh yea! Music! Thanks for the tip, Willie G.R. Music is a wonderful muse fuse.
Touhou 4: Lotus Land Story OST – Casket Of Star, Alice Maestra
The Jacksons (obviously) – Dancing Machine
Sonic CD Megamix Original – Starry Night Zone
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 OST (preview tracks) – Historic Town Square (nonstop at the Myouren scene)
Double Spoiler – The Mystery In Your Town
Kinema Kan – Touhou Cheering Squad (beautiful!)
Phantom – Weird Air (the best Heian Alien arrangement smokin'! I kid you not!)
Was that trip really necessary? Oh, screw it. Be on the lookout for a sequel.
Later.
NEXT TIME
Little OC Lost
