The Dilemma

Mike woke up to find El's head on his chest and his hand was on her hip. The gentle curve of her body was pressed up against him and she was snoring lightly. He could feel her relaxed breathing.

He hadn't slept much, he'd been thinking about what he was going to tell her… and he had been enjoying her closeness. It was a totally new experience from him. He could have slept with her last night, but he knew that her regret this morning could result in a complete reversal of her attitude about suing him from last night. He hated to go there, he really didn't know what to expect.

But it wasn't just that. He'd gone over it in his mind over and over again.

"Mmmm" she said, "you're awake…." She didn't move.

"Yeah, for a few minutes. I have to tell you something. When you were snuggled up to me last night and we were watching the movie… I really wasn't paying any attention to it."

"I know, I didn't say anything. What's on your mind?"

"I started to re-think if I wanted to start a relationship with Jane Ives."

El stiffened against him. She slowly sat up and crossed her legs, sitting slightly away from him.

"I made a fool of myself last night didn't I, by throwing myself at you?" She said. Her head hung low, "so what did you decide, Mike?"

"I decided I did not want to be known as Mr. Ives. Jane Ives is too high profile. Once the internet gets hold of this my private life, such as it is, will be over. I'll be under the microscope because you somehow picked me to sleep with. I don't want that."

"I see." She said. A tear made it's way down her cheek.

"What I do want is a relationship with the scared girl who helped me in the elevator. El Hopper was her name. Is that possible? Is that really possible?"

She looked up at him, her big eyes wide and hopeful. She nodded her head. "That's who I am."

"Mike, when I was twelve you know what the only thing I wanted was? A boyfriend. That's it. I didn't want a kitten or a puppy, or a pony. I just wanted a boyfriend. One I could hold hands with. One I could kiss. One I could love. And one who maybe loved me back. It's really all I've ever wanted."

"But that didn't happen. Kids especially boys made fun of me because of my clothes and my hair. My dad was the chief of police but in a small town we were barely able to make ends meet so I didn't get new clothes. I stayed home a lot and watched a lot of tv. I wanted to be like one of the soap stars who owned her own company and… well I didn't want to be nasty. I didn't have a good education in my early years, so I made up for it. Long story short, Ives Neuro Kinetic is the end result. All I really wanted was a boyfriend."

She wiped her eyes.

Mike moved to sit closer to her and gave he a warm hug. "Ok, El… that's what you have."

She pulled back and looked at him, with eyes that made his heart sail. He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. He held it for a few seconds and then said. "That's what you have now."

He waited a few minutes, ooking into her eyes.

"Um, El, is it going to be awkward for you if we leave your apartment together? Are you going to have to wear sunglasses and and a big floppy hat if we go out today? That is if you still want to."

"I still want to go out... " she gave him a shy smile "with my boyfriend? I feel like I'm twelve all over again I want to tell everybody I have a boyfriend… but I'm not in the public eye. Nobody knows who I look like. The face of Neuro Kinetic has always been Max. She doesn't mind it. She doesn't take any bullshit… hmm I wonder if she spent the night with Lucas."

"I asked her not to hurt him… but I'm not sure she heard me… or what I meant anyway."

"Max would never do that. She's been just as lonely as I have. Women in powerful positions either get themselves a boytoy, or they stay single and people talk."

"I never thought of myself as a boytoy…."

"Mike, look at me." He looked into her eyes. If she hadn't spoken again he would have been lost in them. "I don't consider you a boytoy… I… I want to have a serious relationship with you. Sounds very adult now that I've said it out loud, but I mean it. If you aren't in this for the long term please let me know now… ok?"

"Well, I do need someone to cook for me and do my laundry…," he smiled at her but stopped suddenly when she didn't smile back. "El I was just kidding."

"I will cook for you and do your laundry Mike. I'm not kidding. I like to think I helped progress the women's movement a little bit by being a player in the tech industry… but I want to do normal everyday couple things… even… married couple things." She held his gaze…

"You are serious about this?" he referred to the to the two of them.

El sighed. "I knew I was serious when I pulled you into the corner and looked into your eyes. How's that for being a twelve year old girl. It's why I kept asking you questions. If this is all too fast for you..."

"If it's right it's not too fast. I think we are going to be good together… almost like it was meant to be. I just met you yesterday day, and you snuggled up to me all night sleeping. It didn't feel wrong or weird… it felt..."

"Heartsafe." She held her hand over her heart.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, "yes. That's exactly it," Mike said, "heartsafe."

El gave him a huge smile. "Good, I feel the same way. Do you want me to make you breakfast?"

"Putting two Eggos into a toaster is hardly making breakfast."

She giggled, "that's exactly what I was going to do. I can make you bacon and eggs if you want, but Eggos are my favourite."

"Eggos it is… and then we hit the second hand book shops… "

XXXXX

El came out of her bedroom wearing loose jeans, a blue paid shirt tucked in, and a newsy cap slanted just a bit to the side. Her hair was almost shoulder length with a bit of wave to it.

"What happened to your hair?" Mike asked his eyes going wide.

"That was hair spray and an curler. I wanted to try it out. This," she used both index fingers to point to her hair, "is the real me."

Mike stared at her, and then cast his eyes down, "um, you're really pretty El."

This time it was her turn to look down, she flushed a a bright pink. "You have complimented me more in two days than anyone to has in my entire life. Thank you Mike."

"I'm sure you're dad has told you."

"That's not the same, but no, not really. Are you ready to go?"

"Not in track pants… I'm in the hotel beside this building, I'll head up to my room to get changed."

El held his hand. He knew she would hold it for the entire for the walk to his hotel room. At one point he looked at her smile and said, "you've been smiling since we left your place."

"I'm happy Mike. I don't care that it seems like we are going too fast. You said it yourself, if it's right it's not too fast… and this feels so right to me. If I were paranoid, I'd say that Brenner infiltrated my company for whatever he had planned."

"Brenner?"

"Long story… I don't know if I should tell you yet… I'm sorry… there's something you don't really know about me… I'm… I… Oh. Shit." She looked frustrated.

"Ok, I can tell that this is serious. You haven't really been at a loss for words since we met. It's… it's not going to affect what we have is it?"

El was silent, and Mike started to get worried, "oh… you think it will."

And for the second time today, Mike saw a tear on her cheek. "Is it that bad El?"

Her mouth turned down. "It's pretty bad."

"With the level of industrial espionage that goes on today, there'll be no way I can convince you that I'm not a mole for this asshole. Shit. There is only one way and it doesn't work for either of us if I'm not a mole."

"There is?" El looked at him with her big eyes again.

"Yeah, I leave. Never see you again. It's one of those if-the-witch-drowns-she's-innocent scenarios."

"No."

Mike hung his head and sighed, "...this isn't going to work El... I mean we can pretend but you are never going to be sure. I wouldn't put you through that. Shit. Some asshole who I've never heard of just took away any chance I had with settling down with a girl I think I'm in love with… Sorry..."

Mike thought his heart would splinter when saw El's tears streaming down her face.

He turned and walked away.