Chapter 3
Rose tried not to sob as she walked; aware that she was still on a public street. Still, it was difficult with the familiar weight of grief pressing on her shoulders.
Gone…He left me… again. She thought, feeling it like a blade of fire in her chest. She gone so far; searched so hard, and for what? He had just left her …like an old toy, or something.
But it was even worse than that, because now there was that man back there. The man who looked like the Doctor and felt like the Doctor, and said he loved her …But he's not the Doctor!
She shook her head, aware that she was losing the battle to control her emotions. Her tears and stifled sobs were drawing attention from passersby, and she couldn't stop them. Thankfully though, a glance up ahead showed her a possible solution. A little park with a hedge and a few deserted benches and swing sets stood just ahead. She gratefully ducked in at the entrance and chose a swing; sitting to face the hedge rather than the entrance.
This was the place for a nice, long blub, but, of course, now she was here her tears were starting to dry on her cheeks. Rose could feel a familiar numbness stealing into her mind. It had been her constant companion for weeks after the last time she had been to Bad Wolf Bay, a blank greyness that blanketed her emotions.
It had been Mickey who had pulled her out of it finally; taking her out and getting her as drunk as possible, only to spend the next morning, while her head was killing her with hangover, lecturing her on how disappointed the Doctor would be. Rose smiled at the memory, but the smile faded quickly.
Now Mickey's gone to. I don't even have my best friend.
But she couldn't let the numbness back in. That was giving up, just like Mickey had said, and someone had to be the Doctor, even here in this parallel world.
She tried to rub the tears away from her eyes and felt around in her pocket, hoping for a tissue.
"Here, use this." A voice behind her said quietly, and a familiar, long fingered hand held a clean, white handkerchief out to her.
Rose froze for a moment, feeling her back stiffen, but the voice sounded so like him and she didn't have any more energy to be angry. She reached over and took the handkerchief.
She heard him sit down on the swing next to her and sigh, but didn't look over, as she tried to clean up.
"I'm sorry, Rose." She still didn't turn to him, despite the contrition in his tone.
"You are right, your Doctor would never give up."
Rose felt his hand touch her cheek, and instinctively turned to look at him, the Doctor. He smiled at her gently.
"But have you ever considered that maybe it was you who would never let me give up?"
Rose frowned.
"Don't be daft. I've seen what you do, all the people you've helped, even when it could kill you."
The Doctor shook his head.
"All those adventures. The people I supposedly helped…" He shook his head again. "I've been running, Rose. All my life since I was younger than you, running…and now I can't run anymore." He finished in almost a whisper, but seemed to recover quickly.
"But you Rose Tyler, stubborn, impossible Rose of Earth; you never give up." He smiled at her and shook his head. "You create a paradox in space and time to save your father. And even when I trick you into going home, you yank open the heart of the TARDIS and swallow the entire Time Vortex to come rescue me." He let out a choking little laugh.
"You shoot yourself through a dimension cannon, which, I don't even know what that is; to come and find me again." He looked at her with such a look of amazement mixed with chagrin, that she couldn't help a small smile forming on her own lips.
"You sure all that running wasn't from me?"
He burst out in a true belly laugh and she had to join him. After a moment he sobered again, and spun the swing so that he faced her.
"Rose Tyler, you find people, and ideas, and even places, and you hold onto them, even when you probably should let them go. And you take them with you…" He lapsed into silence, and Rose began to chew on her lip, unsure exactly what he was saying about her. Then he shrugged and nodded, and spoke again.
"…And you are right, I do know that what happened with the woman in the shop matters."
