The boys' dormitory was silent and empty that night, aside from James and Sirius. The former was idly playing with his snitch, while the latter was pondering something that he found quite odd.
"Prongs?"
"Hm?"
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"How did you know you were in love with Lily?" James froze, the snitch clutched tight in his fist and turned onto his side so he could see Sirius' bed.
"What?" He said blankly.
"How did you know you were in love with Lily?" Sirius repeated, in what he hoped was a nonchalant tone. He was just trying to mask his inner panic. He'd never felt this way before, and this was the only explanation for it.
"Who is this about?"
"No one."
"Padfoot, you don't ask hypothetical questions about things like this. I'm your best mate, you can tell me."
"Trust me, I want to, but it might be best if I didn't." James sighed, but acquiesced easily.
"Alright. I kept it from you when Lily and I first started dating, you have a right to do the same. Although I have been waiting for you to tell me for about a month now…"
"But I've never…"
"Please, did you think I wouldn't notice?" Sirius had no response. "Anyway, I think I realised that I loved Lily…around my seventeenth birthday."
"But how?"
"Well, I'd always been mad about her - you know that better than anyone. But I realised something." Sirius just looked at him expectantly. "I realised that she mattered more to me than most things." Sirius looked at him incredulously. "Let me explain - I mean, that her happiness and well-being took precedent over a lot of things. She certainly mattered a lot more than me - she didn't matter more than you-" Sirius smirked.
"Of course."
"-but she didn't matter less either. She just mattered in a different way. I would have done anything to make her smile, and when her mum died, all I wanted to be able to make her smile again - I felt like I had too. And I just realised that this sounds awfully similar to how I feel about most of my friends, but there's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Do you understand me?" To his immense surprise, Sirius realised he did.
"You're crap at explaining it, but yeah, I guess I do."
"Good. Do you feel better now?"
"Yes…" Sirius said uncertainly. James chuckled disbelievingly.
"You're terrified, aren't you?"
"Yes? How the hell did this happen?!" James just laughed harder.
"I don't know, but when I meet this girl, I'll have to shake her hand for causing it." Sirius just smiled knowingly, not betraying a thing.
o-O-o
"You're in love with him." Lily said firmly. Marlene shook her head again. "You are! Everything you described, that's what love is! It's how I feel with James!" Marlene shook her head again, stubbornly.
"It's only been a month!" She said desperately.
"So what? I was in love with James before we even started dating." Marlene shot her a pointed look.
"Yes, but you two are different."
"Be that as it may, you are in love with this mystery person - don't shake your head again, what are you so afraid of?"
"He's not - he's not - I don't think he could love me back." Marlene said in a rush. Lily's eyes widened.
"Well that's just bullshit." She said. Marlene raised her eyebrows and she shrugged. "This situation warrants swearing. Marl - different people fall in love in different ways and at different times. But that doesn't mean that he couldn'tever love you. If I had to guess, I'd assume that he's in love with you too."
"I doubt it."
"Why?"
"It isn't about me - necessarily - it's about him. He's…he's been through a lot, and I just…don't know if he could ever let himself-"
"Marlene." Lily said, cutting her off in a stern tone. "Are you dating Remus?" Marlene's mouth dropped open from the shock. She looked flabbergasted.
"I - what - no, I'm - how would you even-" She blustered. Lily leaned back against her headboard with a satisfied grin on her face. "I'm not! I mean, Remus is great but I don't love him-"
"Hm. Exactly what you said about your mystery boyfriend a minute ago." Lily said, smirking a little. Marlene opened her mouth to argue back but evidently thought better of it and flopped back down onto her bed.
Love? Shit.
o-O-o
"I need to talk to you."Marlene and Sirius said simultaneously. They blinked in surprise and then Sirius laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Right, well…we'll go to our usual spot and talk together then?" She nodded, her stomach churning with anticipation.
A quarter of an hour later they both stood in the abandoned classroom that had become their safe haven over the past few weeks. It was a quiet place, with sunlight streaming in from the tall windows (which faced the back of the castle) with all of the desks pushed together to create a massive table, and all of the stools stacked neatly at the back. Its emptiness didn't seem eerie, just peaceful, and it had quickly become one of Marlene's favourite places in the castle - although that might be because it was the only place she got to be alone with Sirius. She walked over to the teacher's desk and leaned against it. Sirius joined her a moment later, standing next to her.
"Can I go first?" He asked tentatively. Marlene considered it, but she knew that if she didn't say it now, she may never be able to get the words out. Unfortunately, he felt the same way.
"No."
"'Lene…"
"Sirius please, this is important."
"So is this!"
"I know, but listen-"
"If I don't say this now, I'll never say it."
"That's how I feel, now could you just-"
"No, you have to let me go first.
"Sirius, look, I-"
"I'm in love with you!"
His words cut across her voice and echoed around the classroom. As soon as they'd escaped his mouth, he seemed to relax slightly and then looked sheepish. "I'm sorry." He said. "It's the truth, but I shouldn't have interrupted you and I - I just needed to get it out."
She nodded silently, and leaned in closer. And then, in the ghost of a whisper:
"I love you too." His eyes widened, and before she knew it, he was standing in front of her, his hands on either side of her hips, effectively trapping her there.
"What did you just say?" He asked incredulously."
"I said that I'm in love with you too, you pr-"
He kissed her before she could finish.
