Cas watched the people around him- he could hear mindless chatter, see the forced smiles, and noticed how everyone walked a certain way, talked a certain way.
And then he saw his whole life flash before his eyes as if he had already lived it; he saw himself at parties like these, playing the cordial husband to wealthy Balthazar and his family, with his mother's false pride and father's boasting to his friends that his son married into even more money than he had.
It made him sick, to think that none of these people would ever look further into him past his handsome looks and proper manners. He would never mean anymore to them than another faceless hand to shake or cheek to peck.
He couldn't live like that- he needed meaning, and he saw now that giving his planned life meaning was hopeless.
His polished black shoes hit the floor, smacking as he ran, and soon, they hit the wood of the deck outside. It was night, the stars shining brightly overhead, stars that Cas had always looked at while dreaming. Now, it was as if they were laughing at him, reinforcing the fact that he would never be happy.
He could feel tears gathering in his eyes, and he let his waistcoat fly open as he made it to the front of the ship. He watched the water churn below him, frightening, yet oddly inviting...
Dean was lying on a bench, one leg strung over the side. He took a deep, languid pull on the cigarette he had just lit, watching intently as he opened his mouth and let the smoke drift from his parted lips skyward.
The bright stars momentarily blurred, then as the wind from the sea helped the smoke dissipate, they sharpened again into Dean's sight. Sam wasn't with him, said he had found a pretty girl he wanted to spend some time with, so he was left alone for some peace.
He closed his eyes contentedly, and was about to take another pull, when he heard a low whimpering sound coming from his left.
He opened his eyes again, and turned his head, to find the handsome rich guy from earlier standing at the front of the ship. Dean knit his eyebrows a little, wondering if the man was crying, and if he was, what for.
He heard a few gentle, choked sobs, and he un-slung his leg into a sitting position. He wasn't sure if he should approach him, or if he just wanted to be alone... or maybe away from that blond man from earlier...
Then, without warning, the man got up on the railings and grasped the rope precariously, climbing over the rails, and he'd be damned if that wasn't a suicide attempt in itself.
Dean's eyes widened, panic shooting through him for no particular reason, and his brow creased. "Hey!" Dean called sharply, and stood up, biting the cigarette between his teeth as he ran over to him.
The man's head jerked back to look at him, and then faced forward again. "S-Stay back!" he stuttered, holding onto the ropes. Dean walked a little closer, and the man said, "Stay back, or... or I swear I'll let go!"
Dean stilled. "What the hell are you doing?!" he asked, and the man huffed. "What does it look like?" Dean took the smoke out from his lips, and licked over them cautiously. "Uh, right... well, um... that's not a very good idea." The man seemed incredulous. "Why exactly not?!"
Dean opened his mouth. "The water's really cold." The man squinted back at him. "You think I don't know that?!" he snapped. Dean put his hands up. "Sorry... but... I mean, I've been in water that cold before... not a fun experience, pal."
The man seemed to tense, so Dean went on, hoping to discourage him. "Yeah, it feels kind of like... a thousand knives stabbing you at once... and it'd take a good solid time to die, lemme tell ya, slowly freezing as every part of your body stops working." The man breathed out, and Dean swallowed, trying to remain calm and not move.
"You ever smoked before?" "What?" "Smoked, like... when you light-" "I know what smoking is," the man bit, sighing, "And no, I have not, it's a filthy habit." Dean shrugged. "I guess... but it's relaxing." "What's your point?" "I don't know, it just seems like there's a lot of things you haven't tried." "Wha- how the hell would you know?"
"I don't, I just-" "You're distracting me," the guy grumbled, "Leave me alone. Pretend I'm not here or something." Dean actually chuckled at this. "Pretend you're not here? Yeah, nothing goin' on over here, just a really attractive guy hanging off the back of a ship, waiting to fall to his death." Cas' surprised eyes met Dean's at the adjective 'attractive' that he used, and Dean smiled a little, adding in a softer tone, "Sure...I'll just ignore him."
Cas' mouth twitched upward a little, and Dean made a slow movement forward. "I'm Dean Winchester." The man gulped. "C-Castiel Novak." "Weird name..." Dean mumbled, "I like it." Cas didn't know whether to feel offended or flattered, so he just kept hanging there silently.
Dean flicked his shortened butt over the side into the water, and slowly, carefully offered his hand out to the unstable man. "Come on... take my hand." Cas stared at it, and a tear rolled down his cheek. "Why should I?" Dean racked his brain. He hadn't been prepared for a counter.
"Because... buuhh...because I won't let go." "...Really?" "Never," Dean decided, "I'm involved in this now... it's my obligation to rescue you." "What makes you think I need rescuing?" Castiel asked. A glance to the railing and the water below with a raised eyebrow from Dean answered this.
Cas bit his lip, seeing Dean's point, and gingerly placed his hand in the other's. His own hand was soft and delicate in contrast to Dean's rough, strong hand, the latter obviously having done so much more in life. Cas noticed a little bit of led staining on the side of his palm.
"Okay..." Dean mumbled, "Just put your foot here... alright... easy now..." He moved Cas to face him, determined to get him over safe, and Cas smiled a little, before his foot suddenly slipped on his coattail. "DEAN!" he cried, and Dean gripped his forearm, his eyes widening as Cas dangled, suspended.
"Hold on!" Dean said, grimacing as he pulled. "AHHH! SOMEBODY HELP!" Cas shouted in desperation, staring down at the ferocious waves below him as his palms sweat. Now he questioned why he ever thought of falling into that.
"Pull up... come on, you can do it, pull yourself up!" Dean said, and Cas nodded, grabbing onto the railing and pulling. Dean pulled with all his might, and finally, they toppled over onto the deck...
...And fell one on top of the other, Dean staring down into Cas' sparkling blue eyes. Cas could now see from their close proximity that Dean had a small spattering of freckles. He lifted his eyebrows a little at the man on top of him, and Dean was suddenly speechless, stuttering a little.
Just then, they heard a loud, "Oi!" and looked up.
It was Uri and Adam, workers, and they stopped as they regarded their positions on the ground. Dean's eyes slid shut, realizing all too late what it must look like.
"UP!" Uri shouted, his face contorting with anger, and Dean put his hands up, shaking his head as he was roughly pulled to his feet.
"What possessed you to think you could ever touch my Castiel?!" Balthazar snapped in Dean's face, pacing in front of him as Adam clamped cuffs on him. Dean sighed, and Balthazar went on. "Answer me, you filth, how dare you attempt to so forcibly spoil my fiancé and lay hands-!" "Balthazar!" Cas' voice cut in, and he came over from where the ship's engineer, Ezekiel, was wrapping him in a blanket. "Stop. It was an accident."
"An accident! Ha... Cassie, I'm afraid I find that hard to believe, he was practically on top of you-" "He saved me," Cas interjected quickly, and his eyes found Dean's, "I was... um... I was looking over the edge, trying to see if there were any...dolphins out," he said, and Dean frowned at him, silently mouthing, 'dolphins?' Cas sighed. "Dolphins, that I may be able to see. Provided, of course, the starlight was enough to see them... er, anyway... I slipped, and fell over the side. If Dean hadn't been there... well..."
"Dolphins," Balthazar murmured, shaking his head, "All for dolphins? God." "So- the boy is a hero," Ezekiel smiled, "Good. Everything's right." Balthazar's glare softened, though not very much as he was still bitter Dean so much as touched Cas, and he took Cas' arm, beginning to walk away.
"Wait... is that all the thanks he gets for saving me?" Cas asked, and Balthazar turned, pursing his lips. "Will a little cash do, O Valiant Hero?" He smirked at his own humour, and Cas clenched his jaw. "Really, is that all my life is worth to you?"
Balthazar sighed, and turned back to Dean. "Fine...how about you join us for dinner tomorrow night, in the dining hall. Would that suit you?" Dean stood there for a second. "Uh…sure," was all he could muster.
Balthazar nodded curtly, and Cas glanced over his shoulder at Dean for a split second before they walked away.
Dean watched him go, compelled.
Cas sat in the boudoir, looking at the mirror. He ran a few fingers through his hair, and brushed it to the side a little. And brushed it to the other side instead. Then held his head in his hands, just forgetting about fixing how he looked.
He suddenly heard the door open, and heard Balthazar's voice. "Cas?...Cassie, I can tell something's going on with you... can I come in?"
Cas opened his mouth. He really just wanted to be alone at the moment- but Balthazar didn't wait for an answer. He came in, and shut the door behind him.
Cas sighed, and Balthazar sat down beside him. "I got you something to lighten your mood... think of it as a pre-wedding gift." Cas looked up from his hands, and saw that Balthazar was holding a small box. His stomach churned as he suddenly remembered that he would one day be in wedlock with this man.
He felt a little dizzy, almost unconsciously accepting the gift as if it were protocol. He opened it, and took out a necklace, black string with what looked like a solid gold amulet.
"I'm told it's very exotic, it means something like strength and emotional intimacy... extremely valuable, expensive as well, but I... well, I couldn't resist. I just thought you deserve the best," he said, giving that side smirk.
Cas looked at him. He thought the necklace was truly beautiful... and he didn't doubt it cost a hefty amount. Balthazar was obviously attempting to buy his love, or possibly even his obedience, but he, nonetheless, felt very grateful.
"Thank you so much... it's beautiful," Cas said, his smile present but his eyes dull and unexpressive. Balthazar nodded. "Glad you like it. Here, I'll put it on you." He draped the pendant over Cas' head and around front, connecting it again around the back of his neck. "Suits you, love."
Cas nodded again, staring at his reflection. His hand deftly touched the gold amulet, his fingers running over the smooth object at the end.
Balthazar got up, but before he left, he stopped, turning. "You know... I wouldn't deny you anything... I could give you everything. Anything you want, I could give it to you in a snap. You will warm up to me, Cassie."
And then he left Cas to stare at his reflection some more in the orange glow of the dim lamp, comparing the gold of the pendant to the gold of Dean's hair.
