Chapter 3:

When Miles got home that night, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders but at the same time, he couldn't lie, there were a number of thoughts that were making him feel uneasy. The feeling of relief came from knowing that Tristan, however slow they were going to take it, wanted to see where this took them. Still, a lot of contradictory thoughts had Miles' head feeling even more confused that it had been this morning. He was worried about keeping boundaries in place, but at the same time he wanted to cross all of them. He didn't want Tristan to be his boyfriend, but he also didn't want him with anyone else except him. The worst thing was that he really didn't want Tris to get hurt. One valid home truth that Chewy had told him was that he always hurt the people he cared about. He never meant to, but he did all the same. Whenever he got hold of something good in his life, he felt compelled to destroy it, because it was easier that way, because then at least no one could hurt him first. It still hurt to lose people that were important to you, but it wasn't quite the same emptiness that you felt when someone you treated well fucked you over for no reason. Miles had learnt from his dad that he wasn't good enough, so now he didn't even bother to try and convince anyone any different.

Miles called this place home very, very loosely. It was magnificent, with its huge rooms, swimming pool and endless stock of booze for him to steal, but it didn't feel like a home. It was the curse of being rich, a life of beauty and luxury, but it lacked anything that had any real personal value. It was like a show home, not a place where you felt comfortable to be after a long day. Miles wasn't deluded, he knew that he'd gotten used to his indulgent life and he probably would struggle adjusting to anything different, but that didn't stop him wanting what most normal people had. A decent house with a couple of bedrooms and a kitchen. More importantly, a safe haven to go to when things got rough where you felt protected, instead of getting home at night knowing that everything around you had its place and those things were probably more valuable than you were.

He chucked his backpack down in the lounge and went on the hunt for something to eat. He was starving, he'd been so wound up all day trying to get things sorted with Tristan he hadn't had any lunch. After deciding on the leftover pizza from the night before and a huge bag of cheesy chips he threw himself on the sofa in front of the good TV ready to try and remember what relaxation felt like. He didn't know where anyone was, his Dad probably busy getting things ready for his campaign to become Mayor, his Mum likely to be out shopping and his sister who'd usually still be hanging out at Degrassi with her friends and Chewy.

Suddenly his cell rang, and he sighed as he rummaged through his backpack not really wanting to have to talk to anyone right now. When he saw the caller ID though, he quickly changed his mind and answered.

'Sup Tris?' he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

'Where are you?' Tristan questioned, his voice sounding firm.

'I'm at home, why?' Miles replied, leaning forward and pressing the phone closer to his ear, trying to work out where Tristan was and what was going on in the background.

'Can I see you?'

Miles couldn't stop his heart jumping a bit, especially considering the last time he and Tristan had been alone together at his. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but there was something in Tristan's voice that stopped him from saying no, plus, he didn't really want to.

'Yeah sure man, come over whenever.' He answered, wondering what had left Tris so determined to see him alone, when earlier on that day he'd seemed pretty undecided about the very thought.

'I'm on my way.' Tristan confirmed, and cut their call dead.

Miles sat back in the sofa, his heartbeat faster than normal. It wouldn't take Tris long to get there, he knew the secret shortcut to his place. Quickly, he gathered up all of the rubbish that he'd managed to accumulate around him in about ten minutes and squashed it all in the trashcan. He didn't know why the fuck he was cleaning up just because Tristan was coming over, he never had before. But the butterflies in his stomach were eating at him, and he wanted to do something to keep him busy and pass the time.

After making the lounge spotless, fixing his hair a bit, changing his shirt twice and flicking through hundreds of TV channels a knock finally came at the front door. Taking a deep breath Miles got up and walked through the hallway, he could see Tristan's silhouette at the door. Slowly, he turned the lock and opened it, staring at the fucking hot guy in front of him.

Miles had never realised recently how good looking Tris actually was. Now every time he looked at him he noticed his flawless skin, wide eyes and cherry red lips. That was enough to get him feeling flustered. He watched intently as Tristan removed the hand that was combing through his short blonde hair as he turned to face him.

'Is anyone home?' Tristan asked.

'No.' Miles responded, with a shake of his head.

'Good.' Tristan replied, and he pushed past him to get inside. Miles pulled the door shut behind him and double locked it, just making sure they wouldn't be interrupted by any more unwanted visitors. The last thing they needed was someone eavesdropping on their complicated predicament right now. But before he even had a chance to turn back around to face Tris, he felt a hand on his shoulder that shoved him hard so that his back was flat against the door.

Shock winded him and his brain wasn't working even though he knew what was happening. He was frozen. Tristan had his mouth on his, kissing him, hard. His long hands gripping tight on his shoulders, clasping into the material of his shirt, holding him against the door. The force of him stunned Miles, but eventually his body jumped into action and his eyes slipped shut as he started to kiss him back. His hands came up automatically, both of them on Tristan's neck, turning his head slightly so he could kiss him deeper, striving for some control of the situation. His mouth was warm and wet, his full lips sliding over his as he loosed his grip on his shoulders. His hands moved down to his waist, pulled their bodies closer. Because they were the same height, everywhere that touched matched.

Miles felt like his body was on fire. Everywhere Tristan touched felt sensitive. When his hands stilled just above his hips he bit at Tristan's bottom lip, wrenching a moan from him that pulsed blood downwards. He'd never kissed someone like this before, it had never felt so hot and needy. Tristan suddenly broke their mouths apart and Miles felt the urge to scream in annoyance. That was until he began licking and biting at his neck. His head fell back against the door, eyes shut and mouth open, giving him better access as he pushed the tender skin harder into Tristan's mouth. He was practically begging him to mark him. One of Tris's hands came up and pulled at his hair and god knows the noise that he produced was a sound he had never made before in his whole life.

Miles couldn't stop it. He couldn't find the will to push Tristan off him, but at the same time he knew that if this went much further he wouldn't be able to hold back anymore. He was desperate to have him, but something was pushing at him not to rush it, to want to know that it was what Tristan really wanted, before they made a mistake they would never be able to come back from. He hated his mind for making him doubt something that felt so fucking right, but Tristan was important, he wasn't someone he could just give up. So against all his better judgement, he tried to find his voice as the blonde boy continued assaulting his neck.

'Tris –' he managed to whisper.

'Mm?' Tristan murmured in acknowledgment.

'Not exactly taking it slow.' Miles rushed out as Tristan licked up his neck, bringing them up to the same height.

Miles couldn't help the disappointment that flooded through him when Tristan took his mouth off him. He leaned against him, their foreheads touching and closed his eyes as a sigh fell from his swollen lips. Miles was slightly glad that at least he felt just as denied as he did.

'I know, sorry.' Tristan replied, even though he didn't sound very sorry, and Miles was glad he didn't, he certainly wasn't apologising. He could still feel the blood pulsing warmly at his neck where Tristan had sucked on his skin.

'I just know this isn't gonna last very long, so I might as well make the most of it.' He continued.

That bothered Miles. Why did Tris have so little faith in him? Okay so he hadn't exactly ever been the boyfriend of the year to any of the girls he dated, but couldn't he feel that this was different? Plus Tristan wasn't his boyfriend. He'd never even looked at a guy before, this was all new to him. Wasn't the fact he was willing to risk everything he thought he was to find out whether this was real enough to show him that he could feel this too?

On instinct he wanted to push Tristan away and tell him that if he really felt like that to just fuck off. He'd learnt that when things get tricky, run. Run and find something new, something easier, but he didn't want to run. This was where he wanted to be. With Tristan, with or without this new plus side. Having him pleasure him was just a pretty amazing bonus. So, he placed his hands on top of Tristan's that were resting back at his shoulders and looked at him directly in the eyes.

'I'm not going anywhere okay?' and he knew in that second, he knew that it felt like a promise.