The Fisherman.3: Still Friends

"-"Annie.. this is wrong. I can't be your friend anymore."

So I said to Annie in front of my house in Victory Village as she came to bring me some cake to congratulate me. I have my own house there now, but most of the time I'm at Mags'.

-"But.. why?" she said, terrified.

-"You must be joking. You're standing right here offering me cakes for killing 5 children on my own? Didn't you see me trap those kids with nets and stab them to death with my trident? Do you still consider me the boy who was your friend for 3 years? Well guess what Annie.. I'm not. I'm a monster. I went to that arena and became a monster.. just like they wanted. I killed innocent children!" I was yelling. It was the first time ever I yelled at Annie.

-"F… Father and Mags said it wasn't your fault." A bit of tears was in here eyes.

-"You know when good kids go there Annie, what do they do? They just stand in their naively and wait for someone to kill them. Winning one of those games means you're a monster. It means you've killed and you're ready to kill so that you can survive, Annie."

-"And you think your death would have stopped this monstrosity? Do you think if you'd been there and you were killed and somebody else had won the games, it would have been less of a terrible thing? The fact that you didn't die would have changed nothing, Finn. 22 of those children still would have died."

I have nothing to answer her with.

It's logical, and quite understandable. Yet the faces of those I killed still chase me in my nightmares. I wake up every night screaming. One night, Mags refused to leave me alone. She hugged me all night. I found it quite shameful because I'm no longer 5. I'm a man.. I'm a Hunger Games victor! I never mentioned that night nor did she, but I have to confess when I slept again in her arms that night, I had no more nightmares.

If this is a survival games where people will die anyway.. why am I feeling guilty? Why am I feeling like I killed those kids, not the capitol? The truth is I was just a knife.. just a tool the capitol used to kill those children. But does it make it less ugly? To be a tool? To allow them to use me?

As I think, Annie advances to me and slowly.. And wraps her arms around me.

"We all think you're a great person, Finnick, we all love you. My father and Mags know it wasn't your fault and the whole district is proud of you. I'm proud of you."

I feel something inside me.. this feeling I feel for the first time. I feel something moving inside me.. my heart starts to beat faster or so it seemed, and I felt my face getting hotter. Was that blood running into my cheeks? But that's inappropriate.. I'm a man! I don't blush like little girls!

I try to talk in a manly way..

-"Thank you, Annie." But all that comes out of my mouth is whisper.

-"I'd rather see you live to stop this one day than die as a part of it." She whispers. What doe she mean? She just let me wonder.

She steps back unwrapping her arms, and she smiles with blushing cheeks too and says,"You, Finn, have no choice. We are still friends." then she runs away to her home."