Revised as of 10/7/16

Chapters 3 and 4 have now become one, enjoy!

Warning: Rated M for language and sex.

Chapter 3

After finishing up with the dinner dishes, Jamie and I settled into the living room to watch the first episode of Band of Brothers for probably the 50th time. Both of us have been heavily influenced by our fathers' love of history, so much so that I almost became a history teacher instead of focusing on math. Jamie and I both loved learning and watching most things concerning World War II.

We were so engrossed with the scene that played out on the TV in front of us that we didn't look up when Mom came walking down the stairs and sit on the couch. I finally glanced up and realized that she looked a little shell-shocked and was crying. I immediately switched into what I call my "Ann Hawkins" mode, and tried to fix the problem.

Gesturing for a concerned looking Jamie to go find Dad, I went and and sat down next to Mom and wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Mom, what's wrong? What happened?" I questioned.

She sat there, just looking blankly at the ground, my worry rising with each moment of silence. My mother always had something to say, even when things were really bad. Where the hell was Jamie with Dad?

Hoping like hell that Dad would appear soon, I tried again, "Mom, you're scaring me. Are you okay?"

"Oh Lily." Oh fuck, she sounded like she was about to cry. Where the fuck was Dad? "I just,"

Okay, that's fucking reassuring, she can't even finish a sentence. Everything about this situation is freaking me out and I would honestly like to buy a clue here. Thankfully my father chose this moment to enter the room and going immediately to Mom in the couch and wrapping his arms around her.

"Annie what's wrong? Who was on the phone?" Dad was radiating a level of concern that he only reached when someone in his family was involved.

Mom finally looked up from where she was staring at her hands, took some deep breaths, and swiped at her eyes with abrupt, almost angry gestures. Even though I wanted her to take it back the second she started speaking, she was able to form words this time and let us in on what was happening.

"Oh Chris, it's my mom. She had a bad stroke. They took her into the hospital in an ambulance and she's in Intensive Care." Mom was devastated, defeat written all over her normally happy and upbeat face.

"What the hell? Annie." Dad was now just as upset as Mom over the news of the only real mother figure he had had in his life.

"She still hasn't woken up yet, they think that when she lost control of the one side of her body she fell and hit her head. They're still not sure if she will have any paralysis. My dad was beside himself when he called. He doesn't know what to do, he sounds so lost." Mom sounded almost dead relating this information to us, unaware of the tears that had started flowing down her cheeks again.

At her words, my parents just looked at each other, they were both equally devastated. My grandma has been the backbone of our extended family forever. Both of them probably thinking about what would happen if it was one of them in the hospital. Devastated would be the least of the descriptors to use, as they were each other's perfect half. Not perfect people, but they have balance.

Jamie and I had moved together, and I wrapped my arm around his waist. I'm sure I mirrored the look of shock and fear on his face. We were both uncomfortably shifting around not wanting to intrude on this scene between my parents. Of all the things that I thought she would say, it never crossed my mind that my grandmother, the woman who did yoga and lifted weights five days a week, would be the one suffering a serious stroke. She hadn't felt well last week, which is partially why my grandparents had ended up not being able to come to my graduation ceremony.

"Is Grandma going to be alright Mom?" I couldn't help but ask.

Although she was having a hard time keeping it together, she could tell how worried Jamie and I were.

"I'm not sure sweetie. Grandpa said she was stabilized, but she still is in critical condition. Which what the hell does that even mean? I would like a goddamn assurance that my mother is going to be alright!" This set her off on a torrent of tears, and a flood of guilt through me for even asking. Dad waved us out of the room, which thank god as he was the best one to deal with Mom at this point.

Jamie and I fled upstairs as quietly as possible. I went straight for my room, barely processing that Jamie was right on my heels. I didn't mind, it's good to be around family when you're in shock right? I mean I know my grandparents are getting older, but I never thought that they were in danger of possibly having a stroke. They were the type of older people that are literally the picture of health. They still ski every winter for Christ's sake. They're 70 years old! I couldn't imagine what would happen if Grandma didn't get better. Frankly, I didn't want to imagine it.

We would all be devastated if she were to die. My grandparents have always joked that if one of them goes, the other probably wouldn't be far behind. Which isn't entirely inconceivable at this point.

In spite of the distance between us, my grandparents make frequent trips to California to see us. Before we were all older and sports took up most of our breaks, my siblings and I would spend the summer up in Washington with them. My sister and I were actually born in Washington, but my parents moved us to Southern California when I was 3 when my dad got a job at a university.

My grandma was the one who would come down and stay with us when Mom had to travel for work. There were too many activities that we were all involved in for my dad to take care of on his own. I was and am able to talk to my grandma about a variety of things, and she was so proud when I decided to go into teaching.

The main reason my grandparents weren't down for my graduation was due to my grandpa having a hip replacement and additional wrist surgery. In a freak chain of events that included rain, steps, and a box, Grandpa somehow slipped in a puddle as he was walking out to get the mail. As he tried to regain his balance, he then tripped over a box that was left on the porch and fell down the steps. He ended up breaking his wrist and damaging some of the tendons. In addition to that, he broke his hip bad enough that the doctors recommended replacing it.

It was honestly unbelievable to even think about the number of things that had to perfectly line up in order for this to happen. My grandpa is a tough guy, always reminding us of his active Army days, but two surgeries put him down and out. He was finally able to go home from the hospital just a few days ago. My grandma had planned on taking care of him herself, but who knows what the plan is now that she is in the hospital.

The recovery process for both has to be long and strenuous. Who would end up taking care of them?

Alyssa and Nick entered into the room, their faces panicked.

"Which one of you made Mom cry?" Nicky asked, staring at us accusingly. Like making Mom cry wasn't the worst feeling in the world.

"We didn't!" Jamie protested.

I cut before their panic devolved into a fight, "Grandma Louise has a stroke this evening, she's in Intensive Care, and we don't know much beyond that."

And cue the water works. Alyssa immediately started crying, and Nicky looked like he was about to. That would be the end of all of us if it happened. Our other grandma, Dad's mom, had died before we were born, so all of us have really ever had Grandma Lou in our lives.

"Lily is Gram going to die?" Alyssa questioned softly, her tears destroying her dramatic eye makeup and creating rivers of black and blue down her cheeks.

"We shouldn't be thinking like that should we?" I didn't give them the chance to interrupt me, "No, we need to be thinking positively, and positively means that Gram is going to be fine. Right?" This was said a little forcefully, but being the oldest meant that I felt the need to both protect and be strong for my siblings. Our mother has reinforced the power of positive thinking to all of us, and honestly what better time to use it then now?

All of them nodded their heads, and we just sat there piled on my bed together, each of us thinking about Grandma and our memories with her. We soaked up comfort in just being there for each other for who knows how long until Mom and Dad came into the room.

"Ok guys, we don't know anything more than what we did earlier, but we just need to think positively and hope that Grandma Lou will be all right." Mom told us.

Mom was back to her firm way of speaking, and no one dared disobey her, especially with looking into her red-rimmed eyes and the fine tremor that wracked her body. Also, what did I tell you about positive thinking?

Dad took over where she left off, "We might have some major changes going on in the next few weeks, and we need all hands on deck. Alyssa, Jamie, and Nick, we need you three to continue to focus on your school work because the year is almost over. Lily, we will need you to help out these three with any homework and driving them around. All four of you will continue with your household duties, and we will figure out a dinner schedule." He made sure to look each of us in the eye and impart the seriousness of the situation. We all gave him positive responses, and they both looked relieved.

He continued on, "Your mother will be flying up to Washington in the morning to be there for your grandparents at the hospital. Especially since your Grandpa is still unable to get around easily."

"You guys will stay down here unless things are not looking good, but as of now we are not entertaining that train of thought." Mom was almost daring someone to disobey her. Us, fate, who fucking knows.

"I'll plan on taking the boys to and from school Dad, so don't worry about that. I think Nicky only has practice this week, so we don't have any baseball games to worry about until next week." I helpfully piped up.

"Okay, thanks Lil, that will really help me out. Now I want the rest of you in bed, it's gotten pretty late and the three of you have school in the morning." Dad was looking around the room for any complaints, and for once, my brothers actually held it in. Thank god.

Everyone stood up, and each of my siblings gave Mom and Dad a hug on their way to their rooms. I gave her a hug as they turned to leave, looking more exhausted than I had ever seen her.

"It'll be okay Mom. Gram is one tough lady." I squeezed her tight, and was squeezed in return. I felt my dad drop a kiss on my head when I turned and hugged him.

"Love you Lil. Goodnight." My parents turned as one, grabbing the others hand like it was the only thing anchoring them to this Earth.

"Love you."

I could hear them as they made their way down the hall, and I was still in a state of shock. Laying down, I couldn't stop the flow of thoughts and memories of times with my grandmother. As thankful as I am for all the great memories, this could be the last time that I would see her.

I could feel the tears slipping down my cheeks as I fell asleep with thoughts of flying up to Washington in my head, all the while not even realizing that major changes were now starting take shape that would change everything I have ever known.

When Monday morning dawned, I felt a new appreciation and respect for my mother. Although I had occasionally dropped my brothers off at school in the past, I think I made myself forget what a pain in the ass it was to do so.

"JAMES DAMIEN HAWKINS GET YOUR ASS UP NOW! SCHOOL STARTS IN 20 MINUTES!" I felt like I was shouting up the stairs like a crazy woman. I'm just thankful my mother was not here to witness this. How in the fuck did she get them up every day without screaming and losing her damn mind? I would be dead if she had heard me screaming, but fuck, it had to be done.

I marched back into the kitchen and complained to my littlest brother who had his nose buried in a comic book, "I swear Nick, I thought you were the one who refused to get up in the morning."

He briefly took his face out of his comic, flipped his dark hair out of his face and shrugged, "I had a feeling you were going to be yelling this morning so I decided to get up and spare myself. I also knew you wouldn't be making my lunch, hence the reason for me being down here already." He then yawned so big I thought he was going to crack his jaw.

"Well, good word and way to use it in the right context. I am so proud of you; I could just cry!" I was half sarcastic, half serious. But wow, should not be talking about crying as I definitely cried myself to sleep last night and felt like I could cry at any moment. Which is not like me at all, I can't believe people go through life feeling like this on the regular. Thankfully Nick responded before I devolved further into my crazy rambles.

"Ha ha, thanks ever so much for the praise sis," Nick said dryly. He was looking perkier by the second, so halfway to success on my soccer moming skills.

"No, I honestly loved that word, and I really hope that you keep taking school seriously, you sound way smarter." I couldn't help but get that last comment in there like the quality big sister I am.

"Whatever Lily, you know you're afraid that I'm smarter than you." His eyes were mischievous and so was the smirk twisting his lips.

He was trying to trap me, but I would overcome! False.

"Nicholas, do you honestly think that?" And, yeah. Maybe I should remain calm and let it go, no need to crush someone so early in the morning. I glanced over Nick's shoulder and caught sight of the clock. Oh shit, Jamie still isn't awake and I have 10 minutes to get them to school.

"Jamie get down here now! We have to leave this minute!" Mom would kill me if they were late to school because we were dicking around. Thankfully I heard him thundering down the stairs, and then my blood pressure went up about 20 points as a thump sounded.

"Ow, son of a bitch! Who the hell left their shoes on the stairs?" Nick and I looked at each other contemplatively.

"It wasn't me!" We both shouted in unison, "It was Alyssa!" Evil I know, but I did not need to drive a pissed off 15-year-old to school right now. Thankfully Nick's school started 30 minutes after Jamie's, but at the rate we were going, he was going to be late too.

I could hear Jamie complaining as he was putting on his shoes, and then I remembered our earlier conversation.

"Oh fuck, does Jamie need a lunch too?" I was slightly stressed to say the least. Nick just shrugged again.

Five minutes, a hastily packed lunch, and minimal bloodshed later, we finally made it to the car. I remembered to ask if the boys had everything before peeling out of the drive way.

…45 hectic minutes later…

"I swear I don't know how the fuck she does that every single morning. I think I need a drink," I mumbled to myself as I trudged up the front walk and tried to unlock the front door. Honestly though, Jamie panicked last minute in the school parking lot over a perceived missing homework assignment. I about throttled him when he realized it was in the bottomless pit he calls his backpack. It was all I could do not to throw him out of the car when we pulled up to the front of the drop off line.

That five minute drive to his school felt like an eternity, and I don't know how my mother does it each and every damn day. But this was my good deed for the day I suppose, and my good eldest daughter duty. I threw myself down on the couch and was contemplating just taking a nap there when my dad walked through the door.

He looked like he had a rough night and minimal sleep with those dark circles he was rocking under his eyes. My mom looked the same when she came into hug me before going to the airport.

"Hey Dad, Mom made it off okay then?" I asked.

"Yes she did. She should get there in a few hours and said she would call both of us after she landed." My dad rattled this off like he had been told several times. Which knowing Ann Hawkins, it was entirely possible she drilled it into his head on the way to the airport.

It was my time to shine as a smart ass, "Cool, I'll eagerly await her call."

My dad rolled his eyes and gave me the look. "Right, I'm sure you will Lily. Also, your mother talked to your grandfather today and there has been no change from last night on Grandma Lou. He said they have to run some more tests, but it's a good sign that she made it through the night with no additional issues. They won't know the extent of the damage until she wakes up."

I really didn't know how to respond, but he looked like he was waiting for something more than a nod, "Okay Dad, thanks for letting me know." I heaved myself off the couch to head up to my room for a much needed nap, but Dad stopped me before I got too far.

"You got the boys off to school without a problem then?" He stared at me expectantly.

I barked out a short laugh, "You could say that. They're at school anyways." I fully turned as Dad shook his head.

"Well I guess the most important thing is that they got there in one piece right?"

"Right father! Well I am going to go and take a well-deserved nap instead of making myself a drink at 8 o'clock in the morning." I said this with some regret. But hey, dealing with those two this morning, mostly Jamie to be honest, I felt like I deserved a reward.

"Lily Ann." That was all he said as I finally made it all the way up the stairs. I looked over the banister when he spoke again. "Well I'm heading to the university, last minute office hours for those who haven't started studying yet."

I was lucky that I got out a week before Dad's school did. It's also a good thing that he isn't a procrastinator like me because I knew his finals and grades were already prepped. At least he didn't have to panic over that now with the added stress of Gram, the only mother figure he has had for the last 25 years.

I laughed at the look on his face, "Have fun clarifying a semester's worth of information to those lucky students Dad!" He rolled his eyes again and walked out the door after he grabbed his lunch and laptop bag. Which explains why he even came back to the house in the first place.

I flopped down on my bed and brought out my phone to look at my texts for the first time since last night. Alex had been texting me about Mike and how she thought they were near the end, but they were locked into a lease for six or seven more months. I'd heard this before, Mike acting like a child and refusing to grow up until Alex called him out on it. He would clean up his act for a bit and then backslide. It'll be over one of these days though, I was damn sure of that. It was just a matter of just waiting it out.

Hey friend, so my grandma had a stroke last night and is in the hospital. She's doing as well as can be expected, and they won't know how bad it was until she wakes up.

I didn't have to wait long for a response.

Holy fuck! Are you okay? Do you need anything?

I smiled. That was the response I was expecting from Alex. She's the best, and I knew that she would drop anything if I needed something. I would do the same for her.

Not right now. Mom is just flying up there now and will let us know what's up. Depending on dad's/the boys schedules I might need some driving help later in the week if you're not doing anything.

For sure, just let me know. I'll come by tomorrow night and we can make dinner? Watch a movie with the boys. Your sis too if she's there.

Yeah that would be awesome. You're the best. Thanks friend.

We texted back and forth for a while until I fell asleep. I had the most convoluted dreams; pieces of childhood memories and seeing my grandparents fall and collapse. I finally woke up to my phone ringing, I saw that Mom was calling and I was unable to answer before it went to voicemail. I called her back and twirled my hair around my finger until she answered.

"Hey Mom, how're you doing?" I rushed out as soon as she barely had time to say hello.

"Not too bad, I got in fine, and I'm just waiting to be picked up from the airport by a young man that helps Mom and Dad around the house." She sounded distracted as I imagined her navigating the airport crowd toward some random who would be driving her.

I'm could feel myself making a weird face, "Okay, do we trust this guy? Like some random you've never met before driving you hours back into town?" Sue me, I've watched way too many crime shows. Like so many that I'm fully confident that Alex and I could get away with murder.

"Okay Criminal Minds, dial it down. I've heard all about this guy for years from my parents, I've just never met him. I'll snap a picture of his license plate that way if I'm murdered you can tell the police where to start looking." Mom sounded like she was trying not to laugh at me. Which whatever, I'm glad I could bring a smile to her face even with a seemingly ridiculous line of questioning.

Before I could say anything more she cut back in, "Oh I see him, love you Lily and talk to you later!"

She hung up before I could say anything in response but I continued on after the click, "Bye Mom, love you, hope you don't get Criminal Minds murdered."

Little did I know, as I was laughing at myself, that this phone call was a precursor to one that I would receive in just a few hours that would set my path towards Forks, and by extension, La Push.