You, Me and a Pink Bazooka

Post Inheritance Ceremony Arc, Pre-Representative War. Tsuna and his many travels in time, with Hibari.

Day 01: Curse of Normality

Tsuna fidgeted as he felt the menacing gaze that Hibari was pinning on him. On his right, Yamamoto was smiling as if they weren't on the verge of being bitten to death by an absolutely furious prefect while on his left Gokudera seemed torn between growling at Hibari for his audacity to make all three of them kneel, or trying to kill Yamamoto for putting himself on Tsuna's right.

He was the 'right' hand, goddamn it.

Lambo, who was the cause of all this troubles sat on Tsuna's head, munching on a piece of chocolate he pulled from his mess of a hair, jumping up and down every so often, testing Tsuna's patience.

Tsuna sighed, even as shivers rolled up his spine, both from the cold gust of wind that flew in from the open window of Namimori-chuu's Reception Room and from Hibari's intense stare. If anyone could be subjected to Hibari's stare of doom and not want to piss themselves, Tsuna wanted them in front of him. Now. He didn't think he could last any more of this scary tension.

It had been three months since they managed to save an alternate future and about three weeks since they had fought the Shimon Family after the fiasco in the Inheritance Ceremony. Things had been relatively normal for a while, but though it meant some semblance of peace to Tsuna, it also meant regular chaos—not counting the possibly life-threatening ones—occurred around him again. Because, well, he had friends now. Crazy, chaotic friends…

…Who now had more than regular bombs and swords and punches to destroy properties. Because they had Dying Will Flames to strengthen their attacks, Tsuna's friends didn't hold back into their regular destructive activities. Even Lambo, who seemed to Tsuna the most destructive of all.

Today, the cow child managed to bring down more than three quarters of the school after an extra loud rampage during his and I pin's fight in who got the final candy in the stash. Yeah, well, Hibari didn't like that and pulled a rampage of his own, destroying the rest of the school, save the Reception Room where they were now kneeling in front of the somehow undamaged prefect, sporting colorful bruises on their faces and arms and legs.

Hibari was officially number one in Tsuna's Scary People List. And that was after facing off against a raging Xanxus, psychotic Byakuran and possessed Enma. In a way, it was pretty amazing.

"A-ano, Hi-Hibari-san…" Tsuna started, feeling Lambo wriggling on his hair. He hissed to the boy, "Lambo be still!" before looking back to the prefect who was calmly leaning on his desk, most probably plotting their deaths. He gulped, "Um, how long do we—"

He was interrupted by a loud "Aha! Reborn! Lambo-san has come to kill you!"

Tsuna's eyes widened, eyes darting to the window behind Hibari, where a porcupine-dressed Reborn stood. His hands flew to his hair, trying to stop Lambo before he could lay down more damage to Hibari's beloved school. He moved too late, however. Lambo had already jumped to the air, hands waving a couple of pink grenades around, when his own hands came up.

Tsuna groaned. "Lambo, no!"

Lambo stuck his tongue out at Tsuna like the annoying child that he was. "Bwahaha, you can't catch me, Dame-Tsuna. Bleh!"

"What the—I'll blow you up, you stupid cow!" Gokudera yelled, getting to his feet and releasing his flames. Uri the cat roared from on top of Gokudera's head and started scratching his face. "Wait—Damn you, Uri!"

Lambo laughed obnoxiously. "Bwahaha! You can't hurt the Great Lambo-san! Go die!" And then he released bomb after bomb all over the place.

Tsuna paled. "Hiiiii! No! Lambo! STOP!" he screamed, catching one pink grenade thrown his way. He looked at the bomb on his hand and panicked, "Hiiiieeeee!" Out of reflex, he threw it back where it came from, hitting Lambo straight to the face. Seeing the child fall down from the impact, Tsuna's lips quivered in guilt. "Lambo—!"

But the child had already burst into tears, reaching up to pull a very familiar pink cylinder from his head. "Wait—no! No, no, no, Lambo! Don't use that!" Tsuna pleaded frantically, running to intercept the child, bumping into Yamamoto along the way, who bumped into Gokudera who tripped on a chair and made them all fall down in one tangled mess on the floor.

"Umff!" Gokudera groaned from underneath them. Tsuna quickly scampered off and moved to help Yamamoto, but that was when Reborn chose to kick the bazooka from Lambo's hands, sending it off straight into Tsuna's way.

"Oh, God, why?" was all Tsuna could mutter before he was surrounded by a cloud of pink smoke, sending him spiraling ten years into the future.

Please, not in another coffin...

There was tense silence before Gokudera chose to break it in his need to breathe. "Geroff me, you stupid baseball freak!" he yelled, trying in vain to push the tall boy off. He could blow off an entire building with his bombs, sure, but he wasn't all that strong. As embarrassing as that sounded. Yamamoto, who had been stunned frozen when the bazooka shot at Tsuna blinked back to reality and smiled sheepishly at the glaring silver-head, pushing himself off and to his feet. "Sorry," he muttered, before turning back to the now dissipating cloud of smoke.

The pair watched in baited breath as the smoke slowly vanished, revealing a tall slim man in place of the small boy they knew. They sighed in relief. They hadn't met Future-Tsuna back in the future and for months the knowledge of his death kept them up. Even knowing it was all set-up and that Tsuna was truly alive didn't let up the worry, but now that they were seeing him in the flesh, it seemed to take off a huge weight from their shoulders.

Yamamoto smiled, greeting the now older Tsuna cheerfully, "Yo, Tsuna!"

Gokudera's reaction was more on the extreme side. The smaller boy stepped in front of Yamamoto, surprising him when he looked and saw tears flowing down the usually aggressive boy's green eyes. "Tenth! You're alive!"

Future Tsuna—who Yamamoto now noticed looked incredibly feminine, especially with his long caramel hair tied in a low ponytail behind his neck—smiled, and, to everyone's surprise, ruffled Gokudera's hair. "Oh? You look kinda smaller, Hayato," he said, in a language Yamamoto only heard in the movies. And only by the goons. Or lovesick weightlifters.

"What did he say?" Yamamoto turned to the Italian in front of him, but was left gaping when he found Gokudera slumped on the floor, unconscious. "What?" he said, bewildered.

There was a thump, and he felt a now familiar weight on his shoulder. "Kid," he said. "Did you understand what he said?"

Reborn nodded, smirking inwardly. He took in Tsuna's appearance. The brunet was wearing a beyond luxurious suit in black with silver cuffs over an orange shirt. His tie was a striped orange and black, laden with diamonds in the shape of a clam. So Tsuna did become Boss. And he knows Italian. He gave himself a pat on the back. "He said Gokudera seemed smaller. He doesn't seem to realize he's in the past," he explained to Yamamoto, who nodded, looking at him weirdly.

Reborn opened his mouth to explain to his Dame-student, but he was cut short when a long silver chain erupted from the other side of the room, missing Tsuna's face by a millimeter. Hibari stood at the other end of it, eyes flashing in barely restrained anger.

"You shall all be bitten to death for destruction of property," he announced, right before pouncing onto Tsuna, his tonfas bleeding purple with Cloud flames.

"Eh?" Tsuna muttered, shocked. "Kyouya?"

Yamamoto was stupefied. Did he just call Kyouya, Kyouya?

Hibari froze for a second before attacking him again, no doubt thinking bite now, ask later. He moved faster, his blows stronger, but his attacks didn't even reach Tsuna, who was avoiding each and every one of them with remarkable ease.

Yamamoto whistled, impressed. Reborn turned up his lips smugly, offering Yamamoto a box of popcorn—where did he get those from?—which Yamamoto gladly took.

They sat back and enjoyed the show.

Tsuna was frowning. "Hmm, you're slow Kyouya. Have you been slacking?" Hibari growled and released Roll, destroying the last bit of his beloved school himself. Tsuna was still dodging gracefully. His movements were swift and flexible, like water. None of Hibari's attacks have been able to reach him. It was making the prefect angrier than he already was.

"Also, what's with those clothes? Did you go back to junior high without—me—knowing—ah!" he yelled, his eyes widening in recognition.

"About time," Reborn mumbled, munching on a handful of popcorn.

"Hmm," Yamamoto agreed.

"Were you hit by the bazooka?" Tsuna asked, ducking under Hibari's arm and stepping so he was behind the rampaging boy.

"No!" Yamamoto reacted loudly, like he would if he was watching a stupid character in a movie. He would have face-palmed if his hands weren't occupied by the popcorn and a bottle of soft drink Reborn pulled from nowhere. He tensed, noticing something. "Where's the other kid?"

As if summoned, Lambo came bounding from the floor, hands full of grenades. "Bwahaha!" he laughed, jumping on a splinter of concrete. "Lambo-san has returned! Prepare to die!"

"He's there," Reborn pointed indifferently, sipping on a drink, as Lambo started showering the world with his ridiculous grenades for the nth time that day.

"Doesn't he run out of toys?" Yamamoto asked curiously, sidestepping to avoid colliding with one of said 'toys'.

Reborn shrugged, returning his attention to the now heated Tsuna and Hibari fight. He was impressed when he found his student had pinned Hibari to the ground using his own handcuffs. Yamamoto whistled again, followed by a stunned laugh. "Whoa! Tsuna's really good! How'd he do that?"

Tsuna sighed, tilting his head to the side to let the bomb that was thrown from behind him pass by. It exploded with a bang a few meters in front of him. "—really! You should have known better than to go there on your own! I know you're strong, but that's no reason to wipe out an entire Famiglia all alone! At least bring Kusakabe with you!" he said loudly, hands over his slender hips.

Hibari glared murderously and struggled against his restraints, but to no avail. He growl, growled. Tsuna merely went on with his spiel. "And how many times do I have to tell you to stop using Roll in confined spaces? You know how destructive your pet is, and I've had enough of covering the reparation costs! Do you know how many people we could have helped from the millions I had to spend cleaning up after—"

Yamamoto couldn't keep it in. He laughed. There wasn't really anything funny with being surrounded by debris and nearly dying via a rain of grenades, not to mention his school was in ruins, but the sight of Tsuna scolding Hibari was just…

…so hilarious. So he laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, until he choked, and then he was laughing again because maybe this was how he was going to die. Death by laughter. It was ridiculous.

"Takeshi? Reborn?" Tsuna said with a frown, just noticing the pair of them a few ways away. His eyes landed on a baby-sized Reborn. "Eh? Did you shrink? Or—oh," he muttered. His eyes came back to the restrained Hibari in front of him. Widened.

"I'm… in the past, aren't I?"

"Took you long enough," Reborn grinned, jumping from Yamamoto's shoulder to kick Tsuna at the back of his head. He landed on Tsuna's head, suddenly looking grim. "Also, it's been more than five minutes."

"Oh, you're right," Yamamoto said, walking over a still unconscious Gokudera. He stifled another laugh.

Tsuna pursed his lips in thought. It came out as a pout. An incredibly adorable pout. "Well, did Gianini of this time touch the bazooka?"

Yamamoto shrugged. Tsuna turned to Reborn. Reborn grinned.

"Oh," Tsuna gulped. "Well, I guess…I'll be here for a while." He gave an awkward laugh. "Shit."

"Why, Dame-Tsuna? Is there any problem in the future?" Reborn asked innocently.

Tsuna gave him a sideways glance. "You know, it's been a while since—"he stopped abruptly. Smiled sheepishly. "Oops. Spoilers. Haha, there's no problem, except a few small conflicts with other Famiglia. Nothing that could put Past-me in too much danger. I think," he added quietly. Then he brightened up. "On the other hand, I can get rest! I haven't slept for days because of—"he glared at the wind"—Kyouya attacking the Triglia on. His. Own. The idiot." He glared at the present Kyouya, who glared back, incredulous.

"That's so like Hibari," Yamamoto laughed. "But what's—"

Tsuna's glare turned on him. Yamamoto shrunk back. "It is, but you're no better, you—"

"Tsuna," Reborn called. "What's the Triglia?"

"They were a new Family founded just a couple years from now. They rose to power rather quickly, after discovering a new way to harness the Dying Will Flame. They got pretty arrogant, and challenged Vongola. Pissed off Kyouya," Tsuna sighed in exasperation. "The fool just wouldn't let it go unpunished, and wiped them out. All alone. He wouldn't call for back out even when he's surrounded and was even angry at me when I came to help him!" Tsuna huffed, crossing his arms with a pout. "Not that he needed help, per se…" he added, muttering.

"That's his job, you know, as the Cloud," Reborn said. Tsuna turned at him and Reborn was struck with the genuine hatred he had in his warm russet eyes.

"You keep saying that," he said quietly. "Even in the future. But I don't think you understand, Reborn. Kyouya is family. He's no Cloud, no Guardian, no shit." Yamamoto's eyes widened at the word. He had never heard Tsuna curse before. "He's family, and while I understand the importance of his role to the stability of the Family, it doesn't mean it's tolerable for him to keep putting himself in dangerous situations by himself. And you just keep on egging him on you—"he sighed, tired. "Ah, never mind, you won't listen anyway." Tsuna looked away, pouting. Reborn removed his detachable nose bubble.

"Ah, well, what are you going to do now, Tsuna?" Yamamoto asked cheerfully.

Tsuna yawned, "Well, I'm going to sleep."

"But what about—"Yamamoto started, but Tsuna was already gone.

"—the school?" the tall boy looked at the unconscious bodies around his feet. He shrugged, picked up a snoring Lambo and bounded off to the Sawada Residence. "Well, they'll wake up soon enough."

Reborn grinned.

You, Me and a Pink Bazooka

Tsuna blinked as the pink smoke dissipated from around him, taking in his surroundings. He took immense joy in seeing the large space of what looked to be an office. Not a coffin. That could only be good. He was seated on a plush chair, in front of an ornate desk with many drawers. He frowned at the huge pile of papers on it, but gave it not a second thought. If his future self was suffering with paperwork, he'd leave him to his predicament.

Tsuna had had a taste of the hell that was 'paperwork' when Reborn had him sign a million papers on one day 'as practice'. It got so bad that Tsuna had to beg to get back to physical training, an activity which he usually despised. He still despised it, but not as much as paperwork.

He stood, eyes passing over the many portraits surrounding his—it was his right?—office. There was one of him sitting alone on the same desk he previously occupied hung right behind it, in plain view of anyone who would come in. His hair was longer, and was hanging haphazardly on his shoulders. It made him look—he blanched—like a girl (a pretty girl, at that) if not for his pinstripe suit that was undeniably for men. His hands rose to cup his heating cheeks. There was certainly something wrong with the world if he was blushing at seeing his own face. His very feminine face, but still…

He looked at the other frames. There was one of him and his Guardians including Mukuro, each in immaculate suits, which made him smile. Hibari was there, and he wanted to know how they got him to 'crowd' with them lowly herbivores for a couple minutes of picture-taking. Then there was one of him with Fuuta, Lambo and I-pin who all looked just a few years older than their present counterparts. The two children were hanging on his shoulders while he hugged Fuuta in front of him. It looked like it was taken in front of their backyard.

There was also one with just him, Gokudera and Yamamoto wearing identical togas and holding up diplomas. Oh, we managed to graduate. After everything, that thought just seemed so far from his mind it didn't seem plausible. He smiled fondly at a picture of him and Chrome, who was blushing madly as he, Yamamoto and Gokudera each offered a piece of white roses to her while in the background Christmas lights lit up an elaborate floral arc with a sign that read "Happy Birthday, Chrome!'. Hmm, now there's an idea. He should really get the girl to go out more. And eat, yes, eat.

He was laughing at a picture of him and everyone wreaking havoc in some place he wasn't yet familiar with when he heard a smooth, deep voice call from the door. "What are you doing back here, Sawada Tsunayoshi?"

He turned, pale. It was Ten-Years-Later-Hibari. "Uh, I was hit by the bazooka," he said dumbly.

"I see that," Hibari's face remained carefully blank. "And how long have you been here?"

He opened his mouth to speak but shut it down quickly. He paled even more. Tsuna seriously doubted his heart was even beating at this point.

Hibari sighed. "Follow me."

It was only out of pure instinct—his deeply imbued fear of Hibari—that let him move his feet and follow the prefect out.

"Um, is Byakuran—"

"Don't worry, you have no need to save the world from him again. You already did that, remember? And this is your direct future, so—"Hibari paused. "Oh, not yet. Not yet. Anyway, I don't think you'll be stuck here for very long. Maybe a few days at most. I assume your Bazooka had been touched by that ridiculous technician of yours again, that's why it's malfunctioning. He never did do anything right. Here," the older man stopped to open a wooden door, similar to the one in his office. He gestured for Tsuna to go inside.

Tsuna was still a bit dazed, but after Hibari's explanation he had somewhat gained back his breath. He really didn't want a repeat of that fiasco in the future.

But what did Hibari mean when he said that this was his 'direct future'? He really should start listening when Gokudera explained time paradox to him.

And when did Hibari become so…talkative?

Tsuna stepped inside after a particularly menacing look from Hibari, and was met with silence. And then the people inside spoke all at once.

"Tenth?"

"Eh, Tsuna? You're so small!"

"Sawada looks extremely younger!"

"Yare, yare Vongola. Did my younger self do something again?"

Every pair of eyes in the room turned to Lambo. The teenager opened his half-closed eyes all the way. "What?"

"You—"Gokudera yelled every possible curse word in the world and jumped to maul Lambo. Yamamoto laughed heartily and Ryohei tried to get Gokudera off the younger boy. He did it while yelling. Chrome met Tsuna's eyes across the room and gave him a warm smile, mouthing 'They're all idiots.' Tsuna blushed. Not to say that younger Chrome wasn't pretty, but there was something about this older Chrome that made her beauty even more…substantial. Like it simply oozed from deep under her creamy white skin.

Maybe it was her confidence, her sureness in herself that showed in the way she carried herself inside that obviously expensive suit. Chrome of ten years before definitely didn't have much of that. Though she was slowly growing it.

"Silence," Hibari ordered. Gokudera gave him a dirty look but complied anyway. Lambo sighed in relief.

Hibari looked around, scowled. "Where's the damn pineapple—"

"Oya, oya. I suggest you stop right there, little bird," Mukuro's velvety voice resounded in the room. Hibari looked behind him, grinned so his teeth were flashing.

"You're late," he barked, to which Mukuro merely smiled.

"Well," Mukuro's mismatched eyes landed on Tsuna as he sat on the seat beside Chrome, kissing the woman on the cheeks. "It seems our wonderful Boss is in a predicament."

Gokudera rolled his eyes and threw a cigarette that the illusionist caught deftly between his fingers. He lit it with his own flame and put it in his mouth. Tsuna blanched at the…mundane use of Dying Will Flame. He didn't know it could be used like that. Or maybe because he was always using it in a fight that it didn't occur to him. God knows his flame had burnt him enough. It could probably light a whole mountain on fire.

He blanched even more when Mukuro offered the cigarette to Hibari, and just about fainted when the prefect accepted it, and put it in his mouth. The same cigarette that Hibari was just…

Hibari huffed and blew smoke circles in front of him. He addressed everyone present. "Sawada Tsunayoshi is stuck in his ten years younger self at the moment, and we don't know when he'll be back." He looked pointedly at Gokudera. "You handle the paperwork."

Tsuna expected him to explode in anger at the order, but instead the bomber rolled his eyes. "Don't I always? You imbeciles don't have nearly enough brain cells to handle a desk job." He huffed on his own cigarette.

Yamamoto laughed. "You're the only one who likes stuff like that, even Tsuna hates it. Right Tsuna?" He winked. "He's probably taking his sweet time sleeping in the past right about now."

He wanted to be sleeping in the past right now.

"Well, if you idiots would stop destroying cities every time you go out somewhere, Boss wouldn't have had to deal with as much paperwork that he'd forego sleep," Chrome said haughtily.

"Enough," Hibari snapped. "We came here to discuss Triglia's technology, not to argue over petty differences. Let's get on with it, I'm getting sick of your faces."

Ryohei barked out a laugh. "Didn't you destroy those machines, including the entirety of that Family?"

Hibari glared at him. "Shut up."

Yamamoto hummed. "Tsuna was pretty pissed, wasn't he? Did he lecture you again?"

Gokudera rolled his eyes. "He deserved it."

'Tsuna' choked. He? Lecture Hibari?

Did Future Him have a death wish or something?

Chrome rolled his eyes. "Idiots. What are we supposed to do with the destroyed machines, Kyouya? Do they have any use still?" Tsuna caught Mukuro smiling warmly at the eye-patched girl. Beneath the table, his gloved hands held Chrome's own tenderly.

Gokudera snorted. "He pulverized those shit. What use could it have other than pollute the air?"

Hibari glared some more and would have rolled his eyes if it weren't so…not Hibari-like. "I was talking about the blueprints."

Chrome sighed. "Just give it to Spanner and Shoichi, that's their job."

"Unless it's too dangerous," Yamamoto said. "Is it?"

"It functions like Sawada Tsunayoshi's Zero Point Breakthrough: Custom and has another device that fires the gathered energy like the X-Burner."

"Like Spanners Mosca?"

"Bigger."

"Mosca's pretty huge," Yamamoto frowned.

Now Chrome rolled her eyes. "How much bigger? Could it destroy the base if fired?"

"From what I saw," Hibari answered, grim, "they had it calibrated so it could absorb ten of Tsunayoshi's X-Burners and fire it in succession or all at once. Fired all at once, it could probably take out Varia HQ." He shrugged. "As much as i would like to see that, my ears have had enough of Sawada Tsunayoshi's nagging."

Silence. "Oh."

Tsuna gaped.

Gokudera was impressed. "That's pretty good stuff. Could be useful. May I see the blueprints? I'll see what improvements we can make."

Hibari took a roll of paper from inside his coat. Threw it to Gokudera.

"How did you manage to destroy it if it absorbed flame, anyway?" Ryohei asked, looking over Gokudera's shoulders to see the blueprints.

Hibari gave him a coy look. "I don't need flames to bite idiots to death."

Ryohei looked contemplative. Strange, coming from his face. "Well, I do remember you taking out Mosca back in middle school."

"Um," Tsuna piped in. Yamamoto smiled at him. "Don't worry, Tsuna, you won't have to deal with this until a few years, at least. Maybe you should rest, you look tired. Hibari?"

Hibari nodded at the swordsman, pushed Tsuna out. "I'll take him."

"Uh, b-b-but—"

"Bye, Tenth!"

"See you, Sawada!"

"It was nice to see you, Boss."

"Ja na, Tsuna."

Bam!

Tsuna found himself ushered inside a large room with a large, circular bed. It was like one of those royal beds you saw on TV. With a freaking chandelier on top. Tsuna's vision blurred. "Is-is this m-my room?"

Hibari nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off his coat. "It's mine."

Tsuna frowned. "So, it's not mine?"

Hibari smiled slightly. "It's yours too."

The brunet blinked. "So… it's yours, b-b-but it's m-m-mine, too?"

Hibari leaned back, but before he could confirm what Tsuna's mind had been denying, a cloud of smoke covered his body, and replaced him with his younger self…

…who looked frozen in time, his silver eyes wide open in horror.

Which completely horrified Tsuna.

Like, what kind of hell could make Hibari show that face? What happened in the few hours he was gone?

"Damn," Hibari cursed.

Damn's right, alright, Tsuna thought, before he was sent spiraling back in time.

You, Me and a Pink Bazooka 2

Tsuna was asleep the moment his back touched his bed. It was small, and didn't quite fit his longer frame, but it was a bed nonetheless. So he slept. Impervious to the series of chaotic events brewing around him.

Hibari Kyouya woke up in the middle of the ruins of his school, a boy with messy dark hair and cow suit was picking on his nose right above him. He frowned.

"Arara? You're not dead?" Lambo said, wiping his fingers on the back of his cow suit.

Hibari grimaced. "Did nobody teach you any manners?" he asked, and gingerly picked himself up. His whole body was sore, courtesy of the one-sided fight with the older omnivore earlier on. Or yesterday, he amended looking at the now bright sky.

He looked around him with distaste, thinking up any number of ways to get the government to cough up money for rebuilding. His mind quickly came to one conclusion: torture. Worked like a charm. Every damn time.

He felt something wriggling by his feet. The cow child was digging up something from beneath his shoes. Hibari stepped back.

"Aha!" Lambo yelled in victory, holding up a piece of bright pink lollipop. He would have looked adorable if he wasn't so dirty. Hibari sighed, pulled a handkerchief from his pockets and wiped the child's face. There. He looked better.

Lambo looked at him with bright, shining eyes. "Do you want to be Lambo's servant?"

"I answer to no one but myself," Hibari answered, shrugging on his coat which he found on the ground. He turned to leave.

Lambo jumped on his shoulders.

Hibari's veins ticked. "Get off me, little one."

"Ne, ne, ne. Do you want to be Lambo's servant?" Lambo said messing with Hibari's hair. Fortunately, his was the type of hair that doesn't get tangled, and was easily fixed.

Hibari scowled. "No."

But Lambo was persistent. He climbed up to Hibari's head and started playing with his face.

"You're my servant now! Say Lambo-sama! Bwahaha!" he yelled obnoxiously, pulling on Hibari's cheeks.

It was a good thing for Lambo that he was a child.

Hibari took a shuddering breath, reigning in his instinct to bite whoever was making fun of him. "Get. Off. Me," he said slowly.

Lambo, being Lambo, didn't listen.

Hibari gritted his teeth and pulled Lambo from his head, as gently as he could. Unfortunately for Lambo, his definition of gentle wasn't quite 'gentle' in the normal sense.

There was a crack, and then there was a loud cry as Hibari stood stupefied by the fact that he just hurt a baby.

You know what happened next.

Ten years later Hibari opened his eyes to see a bawling child covered in dirt and snoot in front of him. Lambo, he recognized by the child's trademark hair. It would be years before the child would cut his hair to an acceptable length. And even then, it was/would be an accident.

He smiled and gently, gently picked up the child, pulling him to his chest while making hushing noises no one would ever believe he was capable of making. Lambo leaned into him and was asleep in seconds.

Now, what to do. He looked around and grimaced at what he saw. Inwardly, anyway. To any outsiders, his face was the same blank one he had since he was born. Hibari decided he should probably find the omnivore first. Maybe he could make him pay for the damages in his school. No one could build a school faster than Vongola, after all.

He walked the way to Sawada Tsunayoshi's house. After everything, the way to the house was as familiar to him as his own residence. And he was positive he would find his omnivore there, considering his apparent dislike for using money on what he deemed 'frivolous necessities'. He wouldn't even open his wallet to pay for a hotel. Or a new phone. Not that he had to, of course. Those things came to him free. (He hated that too. Hibari didn't understand him.)

He reached the gate and entered without pressing the doorbell. He knew for a fact that no one bothered locking the gate—or the door—in this house and he didn't see the need of knocking when he knew he was welcome. Everyone was.

He made his way to the stairs, ignoring the wide eyed stares of the three idiotic herbivores in the living room.

"Was that…"

"Hibari?!"

"Oi! It's Future Hibari to the extreme!"

Hibari shook his head. The idiots never change. So loud.

He went inside the omnivore's room to find him hunched up on his bed, way too small for his height, fast asleep. His eyes were half-open, a habit he got from years of being trained by Reborn, though he didn't know it.

Hibari gave a fond smile before laying Lambo beside the sleeping Tsuna, who stirred at the movement. Tsuna stretched, and opened his eyes—fully. It widened at the sight of him. "Kyouya? Am I back or were you sent to—"

"The past," Hibari finished.

"Oh," Tsuna mumbled, laying back to sleep some more. "Just…wake me when…"

And he was out.

Hibari would have rolled his eyes if it wasn't so out of character. Instead, he leaned on the wall and was asleep in seconds. The 'three idiots' found him like that, standing like a sentinel with eyes closed by the door. Reborn promptly kicked them out—literally—before they could disturb their sleep.

Tsuna woke up before him, and Hibari was woken up by his hand touching his face. "Hey," Tsuna said, smiling.

Hibari smiled back. Just a bit. "Your past self was hilarious."

Tsuna scowled, accusing, though he didn't remove his hand on Hibari's cheek. "Did you do anything to me?"

"No," Hibari leaned on Tsuna's hand. Smiled deviously. "I think he may be a bit…confused on our relationships though."

"…"

"Mukuro offered me a cigarette. He nearly fainted."

Tsuna sighed, leaning to Hibari's neck. "That was mean. I was so scared of you and Mukuro then. You were always fighting."

"We still are."

Tsuna rolled his eyes. "Not as much as before."

"Hmm," Hibari hummed, looking at Tsuna's lips. He leaned forward so their forehead were touching, his dark hair melding with Tsuna's own brown locks. "You think the three idiots behind the door would faint if I kissed you?"

Tsuna was across the room in a flash. "Don't you dare! It was bad enough that you—"

A loud bang was heard as the door toppled from the weight of Yamamoto, Gokudera and Ryohei who were leaning on it.

Tsuna's face reddened. "I-I-it's n-n-not what y-you're t-t-thinking! We aren't—we aren't l-l-like that! K-K-Kyouya was just—"

"Tenth!" Gokudera recovered fastest, lighting up his Vongola Gear. "Is this guy harassing you? I'll blow him up!"

"No! No, not in the house, Hayato!" Tsuna scampered to move between the furious Hayato and the mildly amused Kyouya, who was watching them all with a smug air while leaning on the wall.

Yamamoto was frowning for once. "Eh, Tsuna, are you sure…"

"No!" Tsuna yelled. "I—I mean, Kyouya was just joking. He wouldn't—wouldn't really kiss me." He widened his eyes at the man. "R—right?"

Kyouya merely shrugged.

"Kyouya!"

"You—!# $%&," Tsuna flinched at Gokudera's outburst. He was sure he used every language imaginable, which was pretty amazing, but little Lambo was looking at them innocently while sucking on a lollipop wrapped in bandages—wait, what?

"Lambo! What happened to you?" Tsuna kneeled in front of the child.

Lambo looked at him with innocently bright eyes. "Crack," he said.

Tsuna frowned. "What? Did someone hurt you?"

There was a choking sound behind him and Tsuna whipped around so fast he hurt his face. He glared. Kyouya seemed interested on the cracks on the walls.

Tsuna glared some more.

Kyouya pouted, ever so slightly, "It was…an accident."

Tsuna's eyes were lasers on Kyouya's face.

"Well, I—I wasn't still in control of my strength then, okay? Why did you think I use tonfas?"

"To make the pain last longer?" Tsuna answered sarcastically.

Kyouya shrugged. "Yeah, but also because I didn't want my DNA on corpses in case they really die by my hands. As you know, I'm kind of strong."

Understatement of the century.

Tsuna sighed. "Are you ok, Lambo?" he said, gently brushing the curls on the child's head. He scowled when his hand got stuck on it.

"Um, guys…" he called tentatively. Gokudera was by his side in seconds. "Yes, Tenth? Do you need me to dispose—"

"No! Uh, I mean, my hand…it's, kinda stuck?"

Yamamoto nearly had a heart attack when Future—Hibari laughed.

He laughed.

Seriously, he did.

And then, poof! Past Tsuna—or present, in this case—came out of ball of pink smoke, screaming.

Well, who wouldn't when the first thing he hears when he gets back to his own time period if the sound of his most feared man's laughter?

It…really wasn't Hibari's fault though, Gokudera-kun.