Unfindable

Part One

Arabella

"Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here"

-Here Comes the Sun, The Beatles

Secrets kept from loved ones can be dangerous. Arabella has one of these secrets. But, Bill is wrong. He thinks that there is someone else. If only it could be so simple. Arabella is conflicted. She remembers the days when she would dream of being married to a good man and living in a seaside cottage. But, it doesn't feel right. She loves the sea. She's drawn to it. She has friends and family out there, that she will never again see. This makes her unsure. The ring on her finger strangles her heart, binding her to the land.

She loves Bill. Very dearly. He makes her unendingly happy. He cares about her so much, she wishes he would worry less, care less so that she did not have to hurt him so. Bill is tethered to this place. North Carolina calls to him, as the ships in Port Royal do to her. His family is here, his faithful and kindly dog lives here. He will not leave with her. Achingly, she looks out on the water. She would love nothing more than to leave this place that mocks her and teases her with desire.

It is then that her finger pulses and she remembers her place. Though she does not drink, she goes into the tavern, the Bonny Belle, and sits at the counter sulking in the solitude of a rowdy crowd. It is completely unimaginable that someone here might recognise her. It is unimaginable that she might know someone here. And yet...

With his brimming confidence, a jaunty leather tricorn on his head and a smug grin on his lips, Captain Jack Sparrow makes his entrance. Arabella's brow furrows. She questions her eyesight and then turns back, making sure he was really there. He walks over to her, her eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn't seem to notice, he sits on the empty bar stool next to her. She turns forward wondering if she could be dreaming. Once he calls for rum, she laughs out loud in her disbelief. "Jack Sparrow?" she asks, between humor and surprise.

He turns to her, questioning. Analysing, he remembers, "Bell?"

She brings her hand to her mouth, laughing lightly and smiling uncontrollably. "What are ye doing here?" She asks.

"Looking for some help," he explains. "I have a new heading for a fantastic treasure, I have a beautiful ship, now all I need is a crew!"

"Oh, that sounds brilliant, Jack," she raves. She was just dreaming of such things. Now, here it was, her dreams being lived without her. Needless to say, Arabella was mighty tempted.

"You… wouldn't be interested in coming, would you?" Jack charms, making Arabella's heart beat unmercifully fast. Jack gives her the most alluring smile she thinks possible and her shoulders sag. She looks away playfully, breathing a sigh.

"Oh…" she whines. She gains a more serious tone. "Jack, I'm engaged to Billy Turner." She lifts her hand and displays the sparkly ring. "I can't leave with ye. It would break his heart."

Jack made a pouty face. He looked at her pleadingly and she bit her lip trying not to give in. "Aw… Bell, it would be so much fun. You know you love the freedom, the sea, the treasure…"

She knew he was right. He could read her like an open book. She leans her face on her hand. "I know… I would love nothing more than to come with you." She admits. He grins victoriously. "But—I have responsibilities, Jack. I am not free to make this choice. I'm bound to the land. I promised."

"Come on, Bill's a tough guy, he wouldn't mind. You'd only be gone for a bit, then come back all happy and refreshed. You can't let him take away your freedom, doll," Jack passionately pointed out.

The charm was beginning to wear on Arabella, a conflicted and thoughtful expression passed over her face like a shadow, dimming her glow. Jack turned away taking a swig of rum, leaving her to think for a moment. "I don't know," she shrugs when he turns back to her. Her smile is apologetic and she continues. "Shall I get married or become a pirate again?" She bites her lip indecisively.

"Can't you do both?" Jack suggests.

"No, Bill would never let me leave. I've asked. He's tethered to blasted North Carolina." Arabella complains.

"You don't like it here?" Jack asks, realizing how much staying here was torturing poor Arabella.

"No, not at all. I can't stand it really," Arabella explained, dubiously.

"Well, that's horrible, Bell. You have to come with when I sail tomorrow. It's final." Jack says decisively.

Arabella looks pained. "Tomorrow is that day of the wedding."

Jack laughs. "What a choice!"

"Oh, Jack." She covers her face with her hands, sliding down to support her chin. "What do I do?"

"Come with me," Jack pleads, his tone turning sad and desperate, laying on the final, defining blow that will make her agree. "I've missed you," he admits secretively.

Shivers go up her spine. She feels cold. No, more like numb. She closes her eyes. "Ye'll come to the wedding," Arabella breathes. "There, ye will get yer answer. If I am married that day, ye know I will not be leaving with ye. But, if I stop the wedding… meet me here, that night."

A wicked grin sparks Jack Sparrow's face. He'd won her over, he could feel it. "Where will you be married?" he asks eagerly.

"In the church on the dirt road leading north to the cottage. It's called 'Sacred Heart.' I can show ye where it is one the way home if ye like." Arabella offers.

"That'd be kind of you," Jack accepted. "Wouldn't want to draw me a map."

Arabella erupted in laughter. She remembered the first time they met and he lost the map and made her wait for hours before stumbling out of the bush bleeding from a fight and soaked from the rain. Now here he was, smiling at her as free spirited and childishly fun-loving as he was when they were younger. "That's right," she agreed, heartily. "Oh, it's great to see ye again, Jack."

Jack smiled coyly. "You, too, darling. What say you show me to that church now?"

"I'd love to," she complies happily. She turns around on the stool, surprised when Jack is there, ready to help her off the stool, just like a proper English gentleman. "Thank you, Jack," Arabella says, impressed and then adds, "And they say chivalry is dead."

Jack doesn't answer, just opens the door for her and gives and exaggerated bow. "My lady," he says smoothly.

"Don't overdo it," she says playfully.

"Fair enough," he laughs.

Soon enough, they are at the Sacred Heart. A twinge of sadness picks at Arabella. She had a great time talking to Jack for just one short evening, how much would she be missing if she did not go with him on his newest adventure? He really wanted her to come along. She didn't think she could take another one of his disappointed faces. She looks up at him. What now?

"So…" she begins, not wanting him to leave her side. "This is the church. You'll be here tomorrow?"

"Aye, waiting for your signal," he assures her.

"Good…" she doesn't want to be the one to say goodbye. "So, I suppose this is good…"

Jack quickly interrupts. "Do you think Bill would mind if I walked you home?" Jack quickly chides himself on the choice of words. He could just as easily have suggested that Bill would have wanted him to take her home to be sure of her safety, that way she couldn't say no, but the words just slipped out.

Arabella is struck by the frankness of his offer, but smiles, looking rather relieved. "I think Bill would be just fine with that."

With that, they continue their walk, never running out of things to talk about. Arabella is glowing with happiness by the end of their walk. Their hands brushing, she shifts uncomfortably.

"So I guess this really is goodbye," Arabella said sadly.

Jack frowns. "I guess so." Jack falls to his knee, tipping his hat, and lightly kisses her hand. "I can overdo it a bit at least." He winks and disappears into the dark.

Arabella smiles, warmed from within at Jack's wily charms. Billy waits at the door, looming over her. The smile stripped from her face, she stands next to him. What was she going to do tomorrow? She leans into his arms and he holds her loosely. She feels small comfort and she pulls her head under his chin. He is warm from the house and his peaceful beauty eases her nerves. 'I love him,' she thinks. 'I should marry him.'

A sadness rises with these words. Arabella is confused at this feeling, but a lot of her feelings have confused her tonight. Her mind spinning, she retires to the comfort of her chair. She pretends to sleep until Bill goes off to his bunk, then she just leans back and wonders what ever shall she do.

It felt great being with Jack again. He was really excited to have her on the crew again, too. She really would like to go with him, but she loves Bill, she could never hurt him like that. How could she be satisfied? Either way she feels like she's made the wrong choice. Or the right one. The right one, she muses. Arabella eventually falls to sleep, no closer to an answer than she had been.

Morning came too soon and before a complete moment of concentration, she was stepping out the doors to the aisle and in the almost empty church there they were, Bill smiling gloriously in his wedding attire, a red rose in his lapel, and Jack Sparrow, fitting in as well as Fitz Dalton in the barroom of the Faithful Bride. Her eyes darted between them beneath her veil. She still hadn't come to a decision when Jack looked her in the eyes from his seat, somehow knowing that she was looking at him, and mouthed, "marry him."

A tear streaked down her cheek. She can't breathe in the corset already, and this gesture that has stolen her breath causes her to collapse in the aisle. Both Bill and Jack rush toward her, Bill lifts her head and fans her with his hand, Jack kneels and gaping, asks Bill what he could do.

"I don't know," Bill says, stumped. "Does anyone know what to do?" he calls to the church.

"She's wearing a corset," Jack realizes.

Bill's face wrinkles at Jack's blunt lack of propriety. "Yes?" he asks.

"They don't make it easy to breathe, mate," Jack clarified, reminded of Bill's unpleasant mannerisms.

"Thanks," Bill grunts unkindly. Bill picks Arabella up, throwing one of her arms around his shoulder and putting his arms under her back and knees, carrying her to the back of the church to get Arabella de-corseted without the audience of Jack Sparrow.

When she wakes, she is behind lying in the front pew of the church, her last ingrained memory the expression of Jack's face. The kind, giving-in, freeing smile that encouraged his own loss. Where was he? The church is empty, except for Billy. "What happened?" she asks.

"You collapsed. No air." He explains.

"Oh," she sighs. What does this mean of her choice? She still has to make one, she realizes, but fast, as Jack's ship is leaving that night. Bill seems sore at her for another failed attempt at marriage. "I'm sorry, Bill. But…"

"Yes?"

"But, um, it wasn't just the corset." She didn't know where she was going with this, but she wanted to tell him the truth.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hurt.

"Bill, I couldn't do it. I couldn't make it down that aisle."

"Why not? I love you, you love me, don't you? What could be wrong, dear?" Bill figures, confused and flustered.

"I don't know, my heart's not in it. It's not the right time." Arabella feels a pressure in her throat as she sees Bill's face fall.

"How… how could you do this?" Bill asks, trembling.

Arabella's words fog together with Bill's, and before she can realize or stop it, she is ringless and on her way to the port.

'Love you, Bill. Miss you, Bill. See you, dearest. See you on the other side of this cruel choice.' Arabella pens this quickly on the cloth crown of the veil where she knows Bill will find it. Wiping a tear from her eye, she follows Jack to this painfully perfect side of the choice.

She is sad, she is missing him, but she never said she was sorry.