Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, Caterina Scorsone, Train, Twilight, Shakespeare, the moon, chronic dandruff, a person called Paul peanuts or a Spanish/Italian thumb.
Cat
Why hello there. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Caterina Valentine and –
Kay kay, so Andre told me that this isn't supposed to be, like, 'formal'. More like 'informal'…
Sooo…
Hihi! I'm Cat! Not like the animal because I get a capital letter which makes me way more special than a regular cat. More like an irregular Cat. Well, you could also call me Caterina but I don't like that name so much because it's the same name as Caterina Scorsone who is an actress. I don't like her because Jade told me that she's Canadian and that Canadian people are 'bad seeds'. With the exception of Beck. My grandma calls me Caterina though. So did my Aunt Carmen before she got hit by that train. OMG! I love Train! M'kay, listen –
*Starts singing 'Hey Soul Sister' at the top of her lungs*
So…what did you thi-
Kay kay, Jade just told me that you can't hear me and not to overuse exclamation points because it makes the unicorns cry. She also told me to get on with why I'm supposed to be doing this so here goes french fries! (I don't like the expression 'here goes nothing')
Jade and I have been friends since, like, the first Twilight movie. Wait, that was actually pretty recent so maybe more like since Shakespeare got married. Actually that's a bit too early so more like…what came in between Twilight and Shakespeare's marriage? Oh yeah! The moon!
Well, whatever was happening in Earth's 'public affairs', Jade and I became friends in kindergarten when some kid broke my crayons and Jade poured sand from the sandpit over his head. He's been living with chronic dandruff since then…
His name is Paul!
I had a teddy called Paul when I was two but my brother was seven and was showing off about his two 'grown up teeth' so he ate Paul.
I met Beck when he moved in to my Uncle Steve's street when we were 13. So…about the time peanuts were discovered!
Beck lent me his stapler when mine burned in my brother's bonfire. I would have given it back but then my brother started a grease fire and Beck's stapler 'died'. It was tragic.
Anyway, I should probably go because my brother borrowed a book from the library about various kinds of fires and I hear sizzling…
P.S Chizland? Chiz means German sausage? I thought it meant 'angry leprechaun' in Spanish. At least, that's what my thumb told me. But he could be lying because ever since last Thursday he's looked more Italian.
A.N Reviews make me smile! Thanks to the two reviewers already. Next up – Robbie.
~ Caterina Vega xox
