Chapter 2: Whomp's Fortress
The trio pops out of the painting, back at the castle. A strange ripple effect occurs on the painting as they pop out.
Yoshi: Well, that's interesting.
The newly-formed trio heads out of the room, and then they head to various rooms, unlocking Star Seals everywhere.
Waluigi: So, now what? We've unlocked a few doors. Where to?
Yoshi: I PICK THIS ONE!
Yoshi charges into the door on the right side of the stairs, next to the door heading underneath the stairs. Waluigi and CC follow after him. Inside is a painting of what appears to be a floating fortress.
Yoshi: INTO THE PAINTING!
Waluigi: Um, are you sure you're not charging into this too dramatically?
CC: Or recklessly?
Yoshi: Nope! Painting! Jump into! NOW!
The trio jump into the painting and end up…in the sky.
Yoshi: Hmm…maybe I should have thought about this before we went in.
Waluigi and CC: YOU THINK?
The trio falls through the clouds.
Waluigi: Guys! Before we all die a horrible death, I just want to say sorry for stealing stuff from anyone!
CC: I'm sorry I never got to meet Mario and defeat Bowser!
Yoshi: I'm sorry that we have to die a horrible death because of your stealing and your inability to meet Mario and defeat Bowser!
Waluigi and CC: HEY!
Yoshi:…and my reckless actions, that works too…
The trio finally crashes into the ground. A nearby sign says, "Welcome to the Whomp's Fortress"…..
Yoshi finally wakes up…and he's in a stone prison…alone…in a jail cell…
Yoshi: HEY WHERE AM I?
?: You're trapped in Whomp's Fortress!
Yoshi: Huh?
A Whomp, which is a square cement made creature with a face walks in on two stubby legs, its stubby arms waving around. On its back is a bandaged X.
Whomp Jailer: Yes! Whomp's Fortress! Mighty stronghold of King Whomp himself! Hidden in the clouds! When we heard screams, and when we saw three suspicious things falling from the sky, and when that trio landed here, we instantly took them hostage, and that's why you are trapped in Whomp's Fortress! HAHAHAHAHA!
Yoshi: Wow…
Whomp Jailer: Impressive, isn't it?
Yoshi: Well, the cell, no the fortress, maybe, and your expansive vocabulary, YES!
Whomp Jailer: Do not mock the Whomps! You'll never escape!
Yoshi: May I borrow the key to the cell?
Whomp Jailer: Okay!
The jailer hands Yoshi the key to the cell, but then takes it back as Yoshi grabs for it.
Whomp Jailer: Say, what're you trying to pull? What do you plan to do with the key once I give it to you?
Yoshi: Put it in the lock for safekeeping, of course!
Whomp Jailer: Ha! I could do that myself!
The jailer inserts the key into the lock.
Yoshi: Better turn it to the right, that way it's in there nice and snug and easy!
Whomp Jailer: Wow! Why didn't I think of that before?
The jailer turns the key, unlocking the lock.
Yoshi: Oops! Maybe the key broke! Better get it out!
Whomp Jailer: What? The key broke?
The jailer rapidly takes the key out, revealing it to be clearly fine.
Yoshi: Oh sorry, my bad.
Whomp Jailer: Oh, it's alright.
Yoshi: No, I meant this!
Yoshi uses the Gauntlet of Fiery Chaos to shoot a massive fireball at the jailer.
Whomp Jailer: Should've seen that co-
The jailer can't finish his last sentence, as he has been fully incinerated.
Yoshi: Whomps are so dumb!
Yoshi escapes his cell.
Yoshi: I wonder where the others are. Well, you know, when the going gets tough, the TOUGH….GO…..go…..how'd it go again? It worked so well in my head…
Aroramage: _ *cough cough* shopping *cough cough*
Yoshi: Huh? What was that? I thought heard a cough coming from that direction!
Yoshi heads toward his right after exiting his cell. He runs down the hallway until…
SCP: ZO-M-G, LE-GEN-DAR-Y PO-KE-MON!
Yoshi: O_O
Aroramage: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CARA?
SCP: YOU'LL NEVER KNOW AND NEVER FIND OUT!
SCP flees, but not before drawing a "." on the wall.
Yoshi: …that was way too random…and scary…and creepy….and….not right…..
Yoshi runs in the opposite direction. Eventually, he comes to the fork again and heads forward, which from his cell would be left. Down the hall, Yoshi eventually runs into…a group of guards.
WG1: HEY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN YOUR CELL!
WG2: GET HIM! HE MUST NOT ESCAPE!
Yoshi: O_o I had to take that turn. I couldn't just go the other way.
Yoshi flees in the opposite direction.
WG1: GET HIM!
After about five minutes…
The Whomp Guards are on the floor at a particular turn in the corridors. They're covered in egg shell pieces and yolk. Yoshi steps out from around the corner, jumps, and ground-pounds them, thereby defeating the guards…and getting coins out of it too!
Waluigi: COINS!
From nowhere, Waluigi comes and gathers the coins quickly.
Yoshi: O_O Where did you come from? I thought you were locked up in a cell somewhere!
CC: You mean that one?
CC points toward the nearby cell, its door slightly ajar. The guard is knocked out.
Yoshi: …well, anyway, let's get out of here!
They escape…while battling various enemies, gaining coins, and eventually reaching the outside.
Yoshi: Wow, this is one tall place.
The tower, from the outside, is extremely tall. Surprisingly, there is a staircase connected to the outside, which, for various safety regulations, has a handrail.
Yoshi: To the top, I say!
Upon reaching the top of the tower, the trio takes a breather.
Yoshi: Grambi, that's a tall tower.
Waluigi: Grambi, that's a long staircase.
CC: Grambi, I thought I had enough exercise before.
Aroramage: Grambi, I could sure use a Grammy.
After the break, the trio look and find…a Whomp.
Yoshi: You're all that's up here?
Whomp: What? You should be frightened! I am the King Whomp!
Yoshi: No you're not.
Whomp: Yes I am!
Yoshi: Then where's your crown?
Whomp: My what?
Yoshi: Your crown! It's clearly stated in the Training Manual for Beginning Monarchs that any ruling monarch of any kingdom should wear a crown. So where's your crown, and what kingdom do you rule?
Whomp: Uh…well…my crown…it's in…the, uh….crown repair shop! Yeah, one of the points broke-off a while ago, so I needed to get it replaced! Oh, and I'm the king of…uh…well, I'm….the king of…Thwombodia!
Yoshi: Thwombodia?
Waluigi: I've never heard of that place.
Whomp: Well, you see…it's way out in…the, uh….Desert Plains of the Prickly Cactus Farm of Pain and Pokiness!
CC: What?
Yoshi: So, Thwombodia is in a desert?
Whomp: Desert Plains!
Yoshi: Of a farm?
Whomp: Of Prickly Cacti!
Yoshi: Of Pain and Pokiness?
Whomp: Uh-huh!
Yoshi:…well, works well enough for me! So that means you have the Power Star!
Whomp: The what?
Yoshi: You know, shiny star, gives power to people, Power Star!
Whomp: Uh, sure!
Yoshi: OK!
Few minutes later…
The Whomp is on the ground, face-flat. The trio looks at the pitiful Whomp.
Yoshi: You know, something tells me that he's not the king.
Waluigi: Yeah, I've never heard of a Desert Plains of Prickly Cactus Farm of Pain and Pokiness.
CC: I think the name was a bit redundant.
Aroramage: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? DID I NOT MAKE IT OBVIOUS THAT HE WASN'T THE KING?
Yoshi: Who keeps talking to us like that?
CC: Ghosts?
Waluigi: Grammi?
Yoshi: Sounds more like Grampi, but who is it?
While the group tries to figure this out, the real Whomp King comes. He is at least ten stories high, weighing in at ten thousand tons; he crushes the Imposter Whomp under his foot.
Yoshi:…although it could have been some mysterious entity from another universe who controls our very speech so that we are forced to say anything they type on a electric-powered system.
Waluigi: Don't be ridiculous! That stuff only happens in video games!
Whomp King: You puny welps!
The trio, now surprisingly aware of the massive Whomp King, turn in his direction.
Whomp King: It make me so mad! We build your houses, your castles. We pave your road. And still you walk all over us. Do you ever say thank you? No! Well, you're not going to wipe your foot on me!
Yoshi: Sounds like a personal issue to me.
Whomp King: I think I'll crush you just for fun! Do you have a problem with that?
Yoshi: Well, the fact that you clearly outweigh, outsize, and outlast us is probably going to give you a clear advantage in the inevitably occurring fight, but if you could just hand us the Power Star, we'll make this as painless as possible.
Whomp King: NO!
Yoshi: …can't say I didn't warn him…
Whomp King: Just try to pound me, welp!
Yoshi: Don't you normally say "wimp"?
Whomp King: I try new word. I like. It just like "baka"!
Yoshi: Idiot?
Whomp King: Yes! Now, wimpy welpy baka! Come and try to smash me! Ha!
AN: The following section contains intense amounts of fourth-wall breaking, and hardly any fighting at all. If this is not what you came for, too bad. But if you use Find to search for the words, "BATTLE RE-START!", you should be able to quickly go straight to the actual fighting. If you wish to read the fourth-wall breaking material, please note that some side effects to reading fourth-wall breaking material are: dilerium, insanity, ten days in the fetal position, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, headache, stomach ache, spleen ache, abdominal pain, flatulence, blindness, heart attack, stroke, and occasionally random staples in your back. Thank you, and enjoy the following.
BATTLE START!
Yoshi's Team
Yoshi: 25 HP, 10 SP
CC: 20 HP, 15 SP
Waluigi: 20 HP, 15 SP
Whomp King's Team
WK: 100000 HP, 100000 SP
Yoshi: *looks at stats above* O_O Oh shit….
Waluigi: What's wrong?
CC: What are his stats? His HP? His SP?
Yoshi: ….it's…..it's…..
Waluigi: Well? What is it?
Yoshi: ….you know, maybe this wasn't a good idea….
CC: Why? What are his stats?
Yoshi: His stats….THEY'RE OVER 9000!
Waluigi: WHAT 9000!
Yoshi: Thus, we should do nothing more than run for our tiny insignificant lives.
Aroramage: *reads dialogue above* HEY! HOW DID YOU READ THOSE STATS?
Yoshi: 4th-wall Breaking Abilities.
Aroramage: But I...I….I thought I took those away from you back in Chapter 1, right around the time of when you found the third Power Star!
Yoshi: Wait, was that before the second time we faced the Big Bob-omb?
Aroramage: Yeah, something like that.
CC: Oh yeah, I remember that.
Waluigi: Why can't I?
Yoshi: You came in after the second battle. Remember? You were getting hassled by some Red Bob-ombs for stealing or something.
Aroramage: Yeah, I remember that.
WK: WHOMP KING NO LIKE TALKING! WHOMP KING LIKE SMASHING!
Aroramage: Yes, yes, just give it a minute.
Yoshi: So, why are his stats so overpowered?
Aroramage: You remember the weird guy who basically defied the fourth wall by running in here while you were searching for Waluigi's cell and CC's cell?
Yoshi: Yeah. Isn't he the author for Paper Luigi?
CC: Yeah, he needs to get after that.
Aroramage: Yeah. Well, anyway, he voted on a special forum that this story is getting typed onto currently, and he got a 7, which in this story results in a "You choose", which he chose 9: Are you kidding? We don't have enough EXP to beat him! Thus, you do not have enough EXP to defeat the Whomp King.
WK: ME LIKES VERY MUCH, WELPS!
Yoshi: O_O AND YOU GAVE HIM STATS THAT ARE OVER 9000?
Aroramage: Hey, I knew it was impossible for you guys to beat, so I picked it. Also, it provided some good joke material.
Yoshi: Well, then, he must have a weak spot! Like the rest of the Whomps!
Aroramage: Brilliant! And that would be…HEY! WAIT A MINUTE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOURTH-WALL BREAKING ABILITIES!
CC: I sure hope he didn't just now catch onto that.
Aroramage: *edits out memory allowing characters to defy fourth-wall, as well as erasing the memories from defying the fourth-wall and taking away that ability from all characters, now, before, and later*
Yoshi: Huh? What happened?
WK: I SMASH YOU NOW, WELP!
BATTLE RE-START!
Yoshi's Team
Yoshi: 25 HP, 10 SP
CC: 20 HP, 15 SP
Waluigi: 20 HP, 15 SP
Whomp King's Team
WK: 100000 HP, 100000 SP
Yoshi runs around the Whomp King!
Yoshi: Hey guys! I found a weak spot!
Aroramage: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS RIGHT THERE?
Yoshi: Duh, other Whomps, mysterious-talking-voice-from-the-sky!
CC runs around Whomp King! Waluigi runs around Whomp King!
WK: HEY! NO FAIR! HOW YOU KNOW I HAVE LOW SPEED?
Yoshi: You have low speed?
WK:…shit….
Yoshi uses the Gauntler of Fiery Chaos on the weak spot! The weak spot is hit for 10 dge!
WK: Uh-oh!
The Whomp King is starting to crumble away!
Yoshi: I have you now!
CC: Eh hem!
Yoshi:…I mean, we have you now!
Meanwhile, in a distant place…
? is looking at the scene of the Whomp King beginning to crumble away from a dark room, built of ancient bricks that have been shrouded in shadows. He is seeing this through a mysterious crystal orb in the center of this room, centered upon a table.
?: Hmm…The Whomp King is losing to this bunch of heroes? A rabbit with Mario as his idol, a brother of one of the prisoners, and a non-purple dinosaur are the rescuers of my prisoners? This is intolerable that the king of Whomps is losing. It's sad that the Big Bob-omb lost to this trio…or at least two of them. And he was beaten twice! I can hardly trust any of these inferior subordinates. At this rate, I'm not sure Bowser was even a wise choice to be the scapegoat! This is not going the way I planned. If only that foolish Koopa king had kept the Power Stars…then that is that. I must retrieve the Power Stars on my own. I cannot rely on my own allies…
? begins to head toward a nearby door, when suddenly he stops.
?: Hmm…on the other hand, these heroes may be the fools I've been looking for. I wanted the Power Stars, so now…
? turns to face the orb.
?:…I will grant them what they wish! The faster they get here, and the more Power Stars they gather, the stronger I shall become!
? pulls back his robe's sleeves, mutters an incantation, then shoots lightning towards the orb, which absorbs the entirety of the lightning. After this is done, ? turns toward the doorway again.
?: Let the game begin!
Meanwhile, at Whomp Fortress…
Narrator: The valiant young lads have discovered the weak point upon the giant king of the Whomps. He is currently crumbling away and will soon be destroyed. Once the lads obtain the Power Star, they shall…
Random barbarian attacks the Narrator! The Narrator took 5 dge, KO'ing him! The barbarian rides off laughing!
Narrator's wife: Ralph!
Meanwhile, at the TOP of Whomp Fortress…
The Whomp King is continuing his crumbling!
Yoshi: I have you now!
CC: Wait, didn't you already say that?
Yoshi:…yeah, so?
CC: That's a little repetitive then, isn't it?
Yoshi: Yeah, so?
Waluigi: Can I steal his organs?
CC: Wait a minute, are you suggesting we take a bunch of stones from his remains?
Waluigi: Yeah, so?
WK: WHOMP KING CAN HEAR YOU DUMMY-HEADS!
Yoshi: We know, but you can't stop us, can you?
WK: WHOMP KING HATE YOU! WHOMP KING GOING TO F-
Suddenly, lightning obliterates the Whomp King, causing a MASSIVE UBER EXPLOSION!
Yoshi: Ho-
CC: So-
Waluigi: He-
The trio are caught in the midst of the explosion! The entire fortress is caught in the explosion! My laundry got caught in that explosion! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
...
….
…..
….
…
The explosion has finished. The fortress tower has been destroyed. And there appears to be no sign of life. The place has been wrecked.
Yoshi: Man, this place looks wrecked.
Aroramage: I know, right? Anyways, our heroes seem to have been caught in the explosion and have been entirely obliterated, erasing the hopes of many for the Power Stars' return, the renewal of the kingdom, and the freedom of Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Peach.
Waluigi: *sniff* That's so sad! I'm-a going to cry! *does so*
CC: Yes, what a tragic end to our great heroes!
Yoshi: Oh the inyoshamity!
Aroramage: Sorry, to all of you who have read this far, but this looks like the end for our valiant…HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
Yoshi: What?
Aroramage: WHAT THE **** ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?
Yoshi: What does it look like, genius? We're watching our own destruction!
Aroramage: WHAT?
Yoshi: Yeah, you see, we were protected from the explosion by the Power Stars we had so we decided to come up here to your office to watch our own destruction.
Aroramage: YOU GUYS HAD TIME TO MAKE A VISIT TO SOMEPLACE YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE KNOWN OF ITS EXISTENCE WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE THE OTHERS?
Yoshi:…yeah, so?
Aroramage: GET OUT THERE!
Abruptly, the trio appears upon the wreckage of the fortress.
Yoshi: Well that was rude!
CC: Entirely!
Waluigi: Truly!
Yoshi: Inyoshamity!
CC: Deviously!
Waluigi: Demonically!
Yoshi: Excitingly!
CC: Abverbially!
Waluigi: Indubitably!
Aroramage: Colorfully!
SCP: RANDOMALLY!
Chao: Chaoally!
Crystal King: Crystally!
Wario: Evilly!
Bowser: Infernally!
?: Darkly!
Aroramage: Magically!
Prince of Shroobs: Shroobishly!
Peach: Peachy!
Luigi: Frighteningly!
Pikachu: Pika-ly!
Link: Hiya-ly!
Mario: Bravely!
BZ: Good god-ly!
SCP: CARMA-LY!
Aroramage: Powe-WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DID YOU ALL GET IN HERE?
Everyone: *say excuses like "Free time" or "You're door was open" or just say something entirely off-topic like "Happy birthday!"*
Aroramage: GET OUT OF MY OFFICE NOW!
Everyone: *leaves, muttering curses under their breath*
Aroramage: HONESTLY, WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET A LITTLE PRIVACY AROUND HERE?
Meanwhile, back at Whomp Fortress, now decimated by MASSIVE UBER EXPLOSION!...
Yoshi: Look! Shiny gold somethings!
Sure enough, underneath some rocks are several shiny gold somethings!
Waluigi: Could it be money?
Yoshi: Could it be the Power Star or Stars?
CC: Could it be-
Aroramage: Oh no, you don't!
The trio goes over forcibly to the shiny gold somethings. It turns out that in the midst of the explosion, the Power Stars were somehow attracted to each other and protected themselves.
Yoshi: First Law of Power Stars: Always protect yourself!
CC: Haven't been doing a good job of that, have they?
The trio grabs all of the Power Stars, totaling 7 new Power Stars to their 4, making a total of 11 Power Stars!
Yoshi: You know, this should be considered cheating!
CC: Eh, if it gets us faster to our goal, I've no complaints here!
Waluigi: Ditto!
Yoshi: Well, I guess we should go back to the castle!
Waluigi: Yeah, there's not much left here anyway!
The trio looks for a way to safely get back out again.
Yoshi: Um, how do we get out of here?
Waluigi: Beats me!
CC: Well, what if we used the Power Stars? Surely with their magical energies, we could get out no problem!
Yoshi: Worth a shot!
The trio activates the Star Power in the Power Stars. The trio and the Stars begin to glow! Then, the Stars start to spin not only by themselves, but then they start to circle the trio, going faster and faster until the surroundings are nothing more than a blur of golden shininess, as the trio finally leaves Whomp Fortress…
(Oct 28, 2007 - April 23, 2008)
