Reade had made it more than clear that she could use anything she wanted. She was more than welcome to his overpriced body wash, to sleep in his perfectly made bed, and could borrow anything she needed for pajamas.

That was the problem. Reade was more than welcome to open his entire home, his entire world, up to her. Zapata, on the other hand, was so closed off and guarded. She couldn't give him anything like he could for her. She couldn't give anyone that. Her life was hers alone, her pain and suffering had to remain hers. All the mistakes she made had to remain her own; her debts, her losses, and her messes.

The shower was hot, with the water borderline burning, but Zapata's mind was in places other than the temperature. She tried to keep the shower as short as possible, mostly just using the water to try and cleanse her soul and mind. Nothing could ever clean her though, she was garbage. Soiled by the life she never chose for herself.

When she was little, she liked to play house with the girls who lived in the apartment three doors down from her. They would plan their futures together, counting off how many dogs they would have, and what color pony they would buy. Tasha never knew what kind man she wanted to marry. Her friends would say they wanted to marry boys like their daddy, but Tasha never wanted that

She had wanted a nice guy who would play soccer with her, and they would eat ice cream together, and he would think she was beautiful. Callie, the older girl, laughed at her and said she was stupid. Tasha moved away three weeks later and never told anyone her dreams ever again.

She learned that those dreams would never come true, and she knew for damn sure she couldn't ruin Reade to get what she wanted.


Reade knew he was bad. It was bad to think about your friends in the shower. It was bad to think about kissing your friends. It was bad to think about walking into the bathroom your friend was showering in and tell her you want to kiss her again and again.

He wish he could talk to Weller about it. It wasn't like being attracted to a team member was new information for him, the sexual tension between Kurt and Jane was so high it was statistically unlikely that they hadn't at least tried to fuck. He couldn't tell anyone though, he couldn't let anyone know about him and Zapata.

Who was he kidding? Zapata didn't like him that way. She was confident and smart mouthed while he was silent and stoic. She was a firecracker who shouldn't be tied down to someone like himself. Reade had dreams of raising a family, and sleeping in on Saturdays when he would wake up next to the woman he loved.

Zapata probably didn't even want to settle down. He could see her spending her whole life wild and free, just like her gorgeous hair. Her gorgeous everything. He didn't know how he could go back to work and be able to look at her without all these feelings bubbling up, and that wasn't good for everyone. Damn, he was screwed.


Stepping out of the bathroom, with just a towel around her, she felt vulnerable. She was naked in a man's apartment. Sure, she was an adult, and yes this had happened multiple times before mostly in a sexual setting, she had never felt so safe. Reade would never hurt her, she had seen him at his worst in the basement of that house on that night, and she had seen him at his best when he was doing the work he loved.

She could imagine herself a life here. She traced her hand over the drawers of his dressers, opening a few. She had always been nosy. She found his tee-shirts, and picked one up. In a perfect world she would wear her boyfriends tee-shirt to bed. They would sleep in the same bed. She would finally feel safe.

She couldn't let herself do this. She couldn't make up a life with Reade, she wasn't ready and she knew damn well he wasn't ready to handle her shit.

She was never good at letting go. She stuffed the tee-shirt into her coat pocket; the soft, black fabric felt nice against her hand and she knew that it smelled like him too. All soapy and clean smelling, but also mixed with the scent of the aftershave she had just seen on his bathroom counter. Her coat felt like it weighed a thousand pounds with her little secret inside of it.

It was like shoplifting, but worse. Stealing from some stupid drugstore because she couldn't afford tampons was a low, but stealing from a friend, and coworker, was even lower.

"I'm leaving. I just can't do this." She muttered as she walked out of the apartment, not even waiting an extra second to hear what Reade had to say.

Even if she had waited a second more, it wouldn't have mattered, Reade was speechless. One minute his best friend was chilling in his apartment, and he felt like he hadn't ruined their relationship and fucked it to hell. Now he was all alone, and he had no one.

"Damn Zapata." He muttered to himself. He would be lying if he hadn't checked out her ass as she walked out the door.


Lol, so this is happening. I don't really know exactly where this is going. What do you guys think of reade/zapata?