WELCOME BACK TO HP IDOL! YESTERDAY OUR AUDIENCE SENT IN VOTES FOR WHO THEY WANTED TO LEAVE THE SHOW AND NOW WE HAVE THE RESULTS…
Ron - Somebody kill me please.
Voldemort - Avada Ke…
Me - NOT LITERALLY! And you don't even have a wand!
Voldemort - Oh. Right.
BUT FIRST OUR CONTESTANTS ARE GOING TO BE SINGING A SONG FOR YOU!
Fred and George - Wicked. :D
Hermione - What song?
Ron - The one we've been practicing all night.
Hermione - Oh. That song.
Hermione, Luna, Cho, Padma, Parvati, Ginny – If I could die before I wake it's cause you took my breath away losing you is living in a world with no air, oh…
Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Cedric, Voldemort, Neville, Malfoy – I'm here alone didn't wanna leave my heart won't move it's incomplete if there was a way I could make you understand…
Girls – But how do you expect me to live alone with just me?
Boys – Cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe
Everyone – Tell me how am I supposed to breathe with no air can't live can't breathe with no air it's how I feel whenever you ain't here there's no air no air go me out here in water so deep tell me how you gonna be without me if you ain't here I just can't breathe there's no air no air.
Random fan girls - -screams-
Voldemort - :D I've got fans!
Malfoy – Yeah, but they're not evil.
Voldemort – So?! –rips off shirt and stage dives-
Me- O.O
McGonagall – O.O
Hagrid – O.O
Dumbledore – That looks like fun! –stage dives after him-
ANYWAY…VOLDEMORT, COME BACK TO THE STAGE PLEASE!
Voldemort – Sorry, I got a little carried away.
Neville – A little?
OKAY…I'M GOING TO CALL EACH OF YOU UP HERE AND YOU'LL STAND IN THE HOTSPOT FOR ME, THEN I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU DID. FIRST UP…CEDRIC!
Fan girls - -screams-
YOU SANG THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL…
Malfoy – Obviously! We were all here for it!
SHUT THAT HOLE IN YOUR FACE! THE FAN GIRLS LIKED IT…MCGONAGALL WONDERED WHY YOU CHOSE A LOVE SONG…THE WORLD VOTED…YOU ARE SAFE TONIGHT!
Fan girls - -screams-
GO HAVE A SEAT OVER… -notices there's no chairs where I'm pointing- ACCIO CHAIRS! GO SIT OVER THERE.
Cedric – Okay. :D
FRED AND GEORGE!
Fred and George – Wicked.
Me – Do you have to say that every time?
Fred – Yup.
OH…KAY…YOU SANG MAN IN THE MIRROR. DUMBLEDORE WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT THE MIRROR OF ERISED ON THE STAGE. MCGONAGALL LOVED IT. THE WORLD VOTED…YOU ARE SAFE!
Fred and George – Wicked!
VOLDEMORT…UP HERE PLEASE!
Voldemort – Okie dokie! –skips onto stage like a little girl-
Me – O.O
UH…YOU SANG THRILLER. DUMBLEDORE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. HARRY SAW HIS PARENTS :D THE WORLD VOTED…YOU ARE NOT GOING HOME!
Voldemort – You're all just jealous of me!
Me – You're safe. That's a good thing.
Voldemort – I know.
… UH…HERMIONE PLEASE!
Malfoy – Mudblood!
YOU SANG –hurls big heavy chair at Malfoy- BILLIE JEAN. THE JUDGES WERE WONDERING WHO IN MERLIN'S NAME WAS BILLIE JEAN. I KEPT TELLING THEM BILLIE JEAN AIN'T REAL. THEY DIDN'T LISTEN. THE WORLD VOTED…YOU ARE SAFE!
Malfoy – Why has everyone been safe so far?
Me – Shut that hole in your face!
PADMA AND PARVATI PLEASE!
Padma and Parvati- :D
YOU TWO SANG DIRTY DIANA. EVERYONE STILL WANTED TO KNOW WHO YOU WERE SINGING ABOUT. THE WORLD VOTED…AND YOU'RE IN THE BOTTOM THREE SLASH FOUR TONIGHT.
Padma and Parvati– :(
STAND OVER THERE. OR ELSE I WILL GIVE VOLDEMORT HIS WAND BACK.
Padma and Parvati– O.O
HAHA. SUCKERS. :D NOW CAN I HAVE HARRY TO THE STAGE?
Harry – I'm right behind you.
Me - Right.
YOU SANG DON'T STOP TILL YOU GET ENOUGH. THE JUDGES WERE CONFUSED –mutters: go figure- AND I LOST MY TEMPER WITH THE JUDGES. THE WORLD VOTED AND YOU ARE…SAFE!
Harry – The only empty seat is by Voldemort.
Me – I know. We're bringing the other chairs back after the next person who is safe leaves.
Harry – Hey! So you're going to let me die?!
Me – Oh, please, you're the Boy Who Lived. I think you can take him.
-laughs maniacally at Harry- OH, SORRY…GINNY TO THE STAGE PLEASE… :D
Ginny – Do I have to sit by Voldemort?
Me – Nope.
YOU SANG P.Y.T., AND AGAIN, THE FRIKKIN' JUDGES WERE CLUELESS, AND I WAS GETTING TIRED OF IT. THE WORLD VOTED, AND…YOU'RE IN THE BOTTOM THREE…FOUR…THREE AND FOUR THINGY TONIGHT.
Ginny - -swear word I will not repeat-
LUNA TO THE STAGE.
Luna - -skips to the stage-
YOU SANG ROCKIN' ROBIN. MCGONAGALL THOUGHT IT WAS SHORT BUT LIKED IT. HAGRID WANTED TO KNOW WHAT A ROBIN WAS. THE WORLD VOTED…AND YOU ARE SAFE!
Luna – I like pudding. :D
I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT GIRL…AND HERE'S MALFOY.
Malfoy – It's about time talent actually took the stage.
Me – Did you forget Voldemort has already been declared safe?
Malfoy – His performance bored me.
YOU SANG BAD. MCGONAGALL GOT ANGRY AT THE OTHER JUDGES AND SO DID I BECAUSE –shouts- THEY WERE COMPLETELY CLUELESS AGAIN! –normal voice- ANYWAY…THE WORLD VOTED AND YOU ARE SAFE!
Malfoy – Whoop dee doo.
HEEHEE. :D RON PLEASES.
Ron - -wakes up- Wha-?
Hermione – It's time to be judged, Ronald.
Ron – Oh, okay.
YOU SANG BEAT IT. THE JUDGES MADE A VEIN IN MY HEAD THROB WITH THEIR CLUELESSNESS. BUT THE WORLD VOTED AND…YOU ARE SAFE!
Ron – Okay. Whatever. –sits next to Hermione and goes back to sleep-
CHO AND NEVILLE TO THE STAGE!
Cho – And Neville?
Neville – And me?
Cho – At the same time?
Neville – I don't want to be next!
CHO, YOU SANG ROCK WITH ME. VOLDEMORT WAS GETTING HIS GROOVE ON. :D NEVILLE, YOU SANG THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT US. MCGONAGALL GAVE FIVE POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR HOUSE. THE WORLD VOTED…AND CHO, YOU ARE SAFE. NEVILLE, PLEASE JOIN THE OTHER PEOPLE DOWNSTAGE.
Neville – Okay…
Ginny – Hi, Neville.
Neville – I thought you were good.
Ginny – You weren't so bad yourself.
Padma – Hey!
Parvati – We can hear everything you're saying!
SHUT UP. NOW, I AM GOING TO SEND ONE OF YOU BACK TO SAFETY. NEVILLE…
Neville - -passes out-
I WAS JUST GOING TO TELL HIM HE'S SAFE.
Harry - -sighs- I got him. –comes onstage and drags Neville off by his feet-
OKAY…WELL…IT'S DOWN TO THIS. PADMA AND PARVATI…YOU ARE GOING HOME TONIGHT.
Parvati – But it's morning where you have us locked up at.
DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE? :l GINNY, YOU ARE SAFE!
Ginny – HA! IN YOUR FACES!…I mean, I'm terribly sorry.
PADMA AND PARVATI ARE GOING TO BE SINGING ONE MORE TIME.
Luna – I'm going to find some pudding. –skips away-
Padma and Parvati - Oh no oh no oh no you'll never make me stay so take your weight off of me I know your every move so won't you just let me be I've been here times before but I was too blind to see that you seduce every man this time you won't seduce me she's saying that's okay hey baby do what you please I have the stuff that you want I am the thing that you need she looked me deep in the eyes she's touching me so to start she says there's no turning back she trapped me with her arm dirty Diana, nah, dirty Diana, nah, dirty Diana, no, Dirty Diana, let me be!
THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN! NEXT TIME OUR CONTESTANTS WILL BE SINGING ROCK SONGS!
Ron - -wakes up, wipes drool off his face- What's going on?
Hermione – Padma and Parvati have been voted off and we're going to be singing rock songs.
Ron – Rock?
Hermione – It's Muggle music.
Ron – Oh.
WITH OUR MUSICAL MENTOR, JON BON JOVI!
Hermione - -screams-
Cedric - -screams-
Hermione – Why are you screaming?
Cedric – I don't know. You were doing it. It's fun.
Ron - -screams- I'm screaming because I don't know who Jon Bon Jovi is!
Hermione – Obviously.
Ron – Is that an insult?
Hermione – Perhaps.
-Harry runs onstage and takes mic- HEY!
Harry – How did you get a non-Magical item to work in Hogwarts?
GET OFF THE STAGE, PLEASE.
Harry – I'm just asking, gosh.
OKAY…THANK YOU EVERYONE!
