A/N: Shadow-of-Realm, dwparsnip and ladygris were kind enough to give input on this chapter.
Thanks my friends,
~Sandy
What If…The Shrine
Sheppard
Chapter 3
Amanda's expression and tone were regretful. "If I hadn't been so shocked by the fact that he'd called me by a nickname that no one has since my Gramma passed instead of the usual "Doc," the parasite might have been small enough for us to operate without causing significant brain trauma. By the time he started to forget, it was too late." She turned to face Dave again. "But we haven't given up on trying to find a treatment."
Again Dave began to pace and rub the back of his neck. Amanda inhaled sharply. He looked just like John except for the color of his hair. "Ronon told me about a place that could give John one more day as himself again before he dies."
Jennifer made a skeptical sound in her throat. "Do you really believe…"
Dave interrupted Jennifer with an accusatory tone, "He also said that you're the one who won't let him go."
"A magical shrine behind a waterfall? You don't seem the type to believe in…"
"Didn't say it was magic and neither did Ronon." Moving over to the wall, Dave leaned on one hand, the other on his hip. "That other woman, the one with the red hair, Teyla? She's heard of it too. If two people from different worlds know of it, doesn't that mean there must be some truth to the legend, myth, whatever?"
"Did they also tell you the planet is a Wraith outpost? Ten thousand of those creatures on the ground and all of them waiting to shoot us out of the sky or feed on us."
"And what about John? Did anyone think to ask him?"
"Mr. Sheppard, I'd never allow something like that to happen without the consent of the patient. But John stopped being able to make informed decisions some time ago." Jennifer crossed her arms defensively. "The risk is too great, not only to your brother but to everyone else. And even if it did work, which I very much doubt, he might revert to his former self for one day." Her chin came up, this time in defiance. "Forgive me if that sounds more like torture than a blessing."
Stepping forward to touch Jennifer on the shoulder, Amanda nodded and took over. "We're still coming up with new ideas on how to treat this thing, but if he leaves Atlantis…we won't be able to help him."
"He has what? Two days left before it's all over?"
"I'm sorry if you think we're being harsh and uncaring, but as the head of medicine it's my job, like it or not, to make the tough decisions when the patient isn't able to or there's no next of kin available. And if you think this decision was easy or made lightly…"
Dave swung around, determination in his eyes and in the way he clenched his fists at his side. "Well, I'm here now. I'm his next of kin no matter what his file says, and we're taking him." He stalked out of the room leaving the women feeling as if they'd lost everything they'd fought for the last two weeks, namely John's life.
~~O~~
The halls of Atlantis had darkened as the sun set, shadows lurking in every corner but Amanda ignored them as she hurried to her room. Her emotions, stretched taut over the course of John's illness, were ready to snap and she wanted to be away from the prying eyes of the public before letting them free. She lifted her hand to touch the biosensor stopping at the sound of footsteps coming from the lighted corridor to her left. Too tired to worry if she should be afraid, she waited for the other person to show him or herself, almost groaning when it turned out to be Dave Sheppard. Not wanting to continue the discussion they'd started in the Infirmary, she debated just ducking inside her room and ignoring the chime but didn't. "Something I can do for you, Mr. Sheppard?"
"As a matter of fact, yes." His expression was unreadable though his eyes were not. There was something besides the mission to the shrine on his mind. "I didn't want to ask this in front of Dr. Keller in case I was wrong, but I'm not."
With a sigh, Amanda faced him fully, clasping her hands together in front of her and assuming an air of patience she didn't feel. "Ask it now."
"Are you in love with my brother?"
~~O~~
It was full daylight on the planet designated M7J-449 as the Jumper shot out of the wormhole and banked around to head east. The village they were on course for was just a five minute flight from the 'gate.
They landed, Rodney hurrying to the nearest villager to ask direction to the clinic. He was followed by an armed Evan Lorne. The man pointed and Rodney jogged in the indicated direction. He found Carson just finishing a well-child check-up on a boy about the age of six sitting on his father's lap.
Carson gave the boy a smile, a lollipop and rubbed his head before sending them on their way.
"Carson."
"Rodney. This is a pleasant surprise. What brings ya here?"
"We need you back in Atlantis right away." Rodney tried not to get annoyed when his friend walked out the front door, across a small field and inside a house that wasn't much larger than the single quarters on Atlantis with the physicist dogging him the entire way.
"Why? The medical staff is more than competent to handle any ailment you might come down with."
"It's not me this time. It's Sheppard." At his friend's sharp glance, Rodney continued. "Please, Carson. He's one of the best friends I have and I don't…I can't lose him."
Carson's eyebrows came together over his nose as he washed and dried his hands in a basin of clear water from the pump in the kitchen sink. "What do ya mean, 'lose'? He was fine when I left. Just a wee case of the sniffles."
Rodney's words nearly tripped over each other in their haste to be heard. "It's much worse than you and Jennifer originally thought. He has a parasite called…"
"Second Childhood. Bloody Hell!" Rodney didn't even get a chance to finish his prepared speech before Carson, tore off his lab coat, tossing it on the foot of the bed, grabbed his duffle bag and pushed it into his friend's hands. "Here. Start loadin' m' clothes in that 'n I'll go to the clinic to let 'em know I'm leavin'."
The relief Rodney felt showed on his face. "Carson…"
The Scot turned at the door. "Yeah?"
"Thanks. I…"
"Say no more, Rodney. The Colonel's my friend, too." And with that he was gone. Rodney finished stuffing Carson's clothes and what personal items he could find into the bag, zipped it up and went outside to stand with Evan. The three men didn't speak again until they reached Atlantis.
~~O~~
Surprised at the question, Amanda almost took a step back. "Why would you ask such a thing?"
Dave moved closer, resting his shoulder against the wall careful not to lean on the door. "To be successful in business, you have to be observant; have a clear view on what is happening in the market. And what I've observed since I've been here is you. How you act and react when John is being discussed or when you're in his presence."
She knew he was waiting for her to confirm or deny his observations regarding her feelings toward John, but she refused to speak because saying it would allow the wall she'd built to crumble. It turned out not to be necessary.
"Even now I can see that you're holding it all in check waiting to get behind that door." He pointed his chin. "And once there, you'll end up crying yourself to sleep as you have for how many nights now? Six? Seven? More?"
They'd only just met. How could he read her so well? She didn't have an answer so she crossed her arms and gave him a half-smile. "What would you have me say, Mr. Sheppard?"
"That's answer enough." Dave took two steps, stopped and faced Amanda again. "One more question. Does he know?"
~~O~~
Dave waited but when she again didn't answer, he turned and walked away. As he neared the corner, her door opened and he couldn't tell if it was his imagination or not when he heard a sob just as it closed.
He reached his own door moments later, regretting being so blunt with Amanda, but time was of the essence if they were to help John. And to do that, he needed all the information he could get. Even if it meant being a b*****d.
~~O~~
Rodney stared at Jennifer's back, her body stiff with anger. She refused to look at him not giving him a chance to explain why he'd begged Carson to return to Atlantis. He stepped forward to touch her on the shoulder, stopping with his hand outstretched when Carson cleared his throat from the doorway of her office.
"It's not that I don't trust your abilities, Jennifer. I just thought…the more doctors we have working on this, the faster we'll find the cure. Carson's been in Pegasus longer than you and…" he couldn't go on. She looked over her shoulder, her hands dropping to her sides, fingers curled into small fists.
"Jen, love, listen to Rodney. It's just a case of havin' lots of eyes on the problem hopin' someone will see the one thing that the others might have missed."
The two men waited while she digested that information and finally relaxed, realizing they were right. She faced them again, her brown eyes finding first Carson's then Rodney's flashing an apology. "So what did you find out?"
"Same as the rest. Not a bloody thing." He lifted the tablet. "Though I do have an idea." The faces before him lit up with hope. It had become a scarce commodity over the last few days but it was there again. "And strangely enough, it comes from Ronon."
"Ronon? But…"
"I spoke to him regarding this Shrine of Talus and his grandfather's reactions when brought within its influence." Carson gestured them close, holding the tablet up while they looked over his shoulders. "Wait. Where's Amanda? She's part of this team."
"She's sitting with John. He's still combative even after being sedated. Only hers or Rodney's presence will keep him calm." Jennifer grinned telling Carson all he needed to know. John cared about Amanda in a way he hadn't been able to admit even to himself until now.
~~O~~
Jennifer walked alongside Rodney on the way to the Mess Hall for a long overdue meal…for both of them. The medical team had been working around the clock to find a cure for John's condition and weren't having much luck. Fortunately the symptoms were minor so far. A little memory loss, but nothing that couldn't be handled.
When the physicist stopped at her office and invited her to dinner she'd jumped at the chance. She'd been thinking more and more about spending time with him socially and it had all started when they'd been trapped in the Genii mining facility, barely escaping with their lives. The drink they'd had together that night had started them on a whole new road in their relationship.
Footsteps echoed and a moment later John joined them. Following a short debate, the three of them decided to eat together.
A female scientist passed them and uncharacteristically, John ogled her retreating form. "Now she has a great a**."
Managing not to stumble at the crudeness of his remark, Jennifer said, "Um, what?"
Unrepentant, John glanced at Jennifer's backside and grinned. "You got nothing to worry about, Doc. Yours is perfect."
Rodney, a little perturbed that his friend would say something like that in public, added his shock to hers. "You do know you said that out loud, right?"
John shrugged as if he didn't care. "You know who has a great a**? Amanda Cole. And her chi-chis are sweet! Makes me want to…" His hands made a squeezing motion in illustration.
Together Jennifer and Rodney exclaimed, "JOHN!"
"What? It's true!"
His friends exchanged a glance realizing that more was going on with John than they'd originally thought. Like someone who'd had a stroke, he'd lost his filter, that internal mechanism one develops that tells you not to say everything you're thinking as you're thinking it. And that was a problem.
DAY 01
17:12
Jennifer activated the video camera while in front of it John looked bored, frustrated and annoyed. "Okay, its recording."
With a snort, he looked off camera. "Do we really have to do this?"
"No, but keeping a record of the memory loss will help if it happens to others."
And that's all she had to say to get him to settle down. "Fine." He looked into the camera. "My name is Lieutenant Colonel John (mumble) Sheppard. I was born in…"
"Speak up. We didn't quite catch that," Rodney interrupted with a smirk in his voice.
A growl came from the image on the screen. "My name is John…LaVerne…Sheppard. Happy now, McKay? You know my middle name. And no, my brother's middle name isn't Shirley."
"Oh, I already knew it. Just wanted to hear you say it. What?" The last was apparently said to Jennifer."
"Ignore Rodney, John, and just continue please."
John crossed his arms, sighing in acknowledgment of Jennifer's request. "I am the military commander of Atlantis. I have one sibling, a brother, David. My sister-in-law's name is Annie and they have two children, Dylan, sixteen, and Haley-she's fourteen. She's as pretty as her mother. I'm gonna have to teach Dave how to use a P90 to keep the guys away." This was said with a wistful grin as if he were thinking about how his life could have been different. He cleared his throat turning his expression more serious. "Speaking of which, the P90 is a compact, lightweight, incredibly sturdy weapon. It utilizes small caliber, high velocity 5.7 x 28mm cartridges." He quickly named off the different parts of the weapon, the year it was first introduced, the designer and manufacturer. "The magazine has a capacity of…I guess that doesn't matter. Uh, I like to surf, drink beer, and play golf…not all at once. Um, what else?"
"You're always bragging that you were offered a membership in Mensa. Pick something."
A smirk came over John's handsome features as he relaxed back in the chair, one leg resting on the knee of the other. It was a signal they all knew well. He was about to show off. "You want it, McKay, you got it." He cleared his throat. "The Taylor Series is a formula that shows how to express an analytic function in terms of its derivatives." He quickly spit out a formula that would have gone over the heads of the average population of Earth but was easily understood by those present. Especially Rodney who rolled his eyes. "Learned it in Kindergarten."
"I learned it before I even started school. Self-taught."
Now what?" John had his arms crossed awaiting the next question confident in his ability to respond intelligently.
Jennifer replaced the physicist behind the camera. "I've always been a little curious about something, John."
"What, Doc?"
"Out of everyone you know, here and on Earth, who would you consider to be your best friend?"
The self-assured smile faded away, replaced by uneasiness. "That's not important. What if I tell you the name of my first girlfriend? Sarah Caruthers. We met in…"
"Nope. BF." There was a pause in which John said nothing. "Come on." John looked away from the camera and muttered a name. "John…"
With a deep sigh of annoyance, he looked back at Jennifer. "Rodney McKay."
"Really? Wow, that's…" Rodney's voice was shocked and thrilled at once.
"Can we just get back to what we were doing?"
"Sure. Go ahead."
"I am fluent in both Spanish and Farsi…" John repeated a couple of phrases in both languages and was about to excuse himself when his guitar came into view, Amanda Cole entering into the frame with him.
"Play something. Please."
"This is getting out of control." But he did as requested, first tuning the instrument by ear. He strummed a few chords while he decided which tune to play then began to sing. His voice wasn't the best they'd ever heard, but it fit the lyrics of the song.
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he's a victim of the times.
~~O~~
Woolsey stood at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the Jumper Bay. John's team acknowledged him with a nod and smile, climbing up with a squad of Marines behind them and Evan bringing up the rear.
"Is Sheppard on board?"
"Yes. Are we clear on the rules of engagement, Major?"
Evan nodded. "Yes, sir. We'll be in and out before the Wraith even know it." He'd gotten three steps up when Woolsey called out.
"Major, if in fact Colonel Sheppard does regain his…" he trailed off for a long moment, "…say goodbye from me."
Evan nodded and continued up the stairs.
~~O~~
The cloaked Jumper burst out of the wormhole, its passage obscured by smoke from the MALP. Spread out in front of them was a long, wide valley. Evan banked around to have a quick look at the Hiveships on either side of the 'gate. They'd made it in one piece, but getting home wouldn't be as easy.
"That's one hell of a valley." Ronon had come to stand between Evan and Teyla.
"Do you think they detected us before we were able to cloak?"
"No. I think the smokescreen worked. Hopefully they think we just sent the MALP through ahead of us and changed our mind when they blew it up." The HUD came up. "I'm gonna sweep the landing area. It'll just take a few minutes." As he flew, a memory from a few nights earlier asked for attention.
~~O~~
Yawning as he reached his room, Evan slapped a hand over the sensor. He entered, peeled off his TAC vest and uniform on the way to the bathroom, groaning in pleasure as the hot water cascaded over his tired, achy muscles.
Not bothering to completely dry his skin, Evan pulled on a T-shirt and pajama pants, the material sticking to his back, chest and legs. He'd just lay down when the chime announced a visitor. His commanding officer was standing at his door in his pajamas and barefoot, a confused expression on his unshaven face. "Colonel."
"I think I'm lost. I'm looking for someone. His name is…" John snapped his fingers, searching for the name.
"Rodney?"
"Yeah. I fell asleep and when I woke up…"
"Sorry. I told them not to leave you alone." Cautiously he laid a hand on John's shoulder turning him around and urging him to walk. "I'll take you back to your room, okay?"
"Sure. What did you say your name was?"
"Lorne."
John looks at him uncertainly. "Your first name is Lorne?"
Chuckling, the shorter man kept one hand on John's back to keep him moving until they came to another door identical to his own. "No. It's Evan. But you call me Lorne."
"Oh." John peered into the darkness of the room reluctant to enter, as if he were afraid of being alone and didn't want to admit it. "Um…"
Evan glanced out the window. The sky was clear and filled with stars. "It's a nice night out. Let's go have some beer on the pier." He went to the small 'fridge in the corner where he knew John's stash was kept.
"I drink beer?"
A grin came over Evan's face. "Yeah."
~~O~~
Their feet dangling over the side, the men watched the water and sky for a while without speaking. Evan opened a can of beer and passed it to John.
"Thanks. So, uh…Evan, we work together?
"Yes, sir."
"Why d'you keep calling me 'sir'?"
Evan took a sip from his can and set it aside. "Because you're my CO."
"I thought we were friends."
"We are, sort of."
John nodded, his expression telling Evan he was trying hard to remember. "And I have a brother, right?"
"You do."
"His name's…uh, can you help me out here?"
"Nathan."
Again John looked confused. "You sure? That doesn't sound right."
Grinning, Evan told him, "It's Dave. You remembered what it's not. That's something, isn't it?"
Shrugging, John took another drink of beer. "Not exactly a marketable skill. Um, the docs tell me this thing's only gonna get worse. Maybe we should say good-bye now."
The smile Evan had been wearing vanished. "No."
With a smirk, his companion said, "Shouldn't that be 'no, sir'?"
"Yes. But not this time."
"You know, in another day or so I won't even remember my name much less yours. I was hoping we could…"
Evan's shoulders shrugged as he took another sip of his beer. "Then I'll remind you."
"But what if…"
Shaking his head, Evan's tone was emphatic. "Answer's still no…sir"
John accepted that he wouldn't be getting his way on this. "Okay. Thanks for being a good friend, George."
The two men looked at each other and dissolved into laughter.
~~O~~
In the Jumper, Evan smiled fondly at the memory for a while then checked the HUD. "Landing area's clear. I'm taking us in."
TBC
A/N: "Man in Black" (or "The Man in Black") is a protest song written and sung by and about Johnny Cash, originally released on his 1971 album of the same name. Cash himself was known as "The Man in Black" for his distinctive style of on-stage costuming.
For more info on the P90, Google it.
