Chapter 3: Who am I?
"Hey, it's Gabriella. You know what to do!" A soft beep was heard and Troy cursed under his breath.
Unbelievable. Troy slammed his cell phone lid shut for the umpteenth time in exasperation. It was twenty six calls later and after an hour of hoops plus four an half hours of homework, Troy was exhausted, irate and starving. He'd skipped dinner after his dad had shouted at him for screwing up a few new plays including the oldie, the left hand fake; he'd mastered it junior year but with the fact that his girlfriend once again potentially hated him, he'd been unfocused and screwed it up too many times. It was an occurrence that he'd had to deal with again and again, and it was common whenever he had all sorts of shit on his mind. The fact that his dad didn't seem to understand was what made him so irate all of a sudden. Thankfully, he hadn't lost his cool or else his dad would have surely thrown a fit. Sometimes, being the coach's son…sucked ass.
It was now dawning upon eleven pm and Troy was having notions of sneaking downstairs to grab something light, maybe some Mac and cheese or a bagel – anything that he could whip up fast without too much noise. His stomach had been rumbling ever since eight pm when he'd taken a shower. Currently, his sandy brown hair was slicked back with some styling gel and it had fully dried about an hour ago. Over the course of those past two hours, he'd called Gabriella again and again to apologize. But did she answer the phone? No.
It was so like her, just to be that stubborn bitch. He hadn't evendone anything! However, that didn't mean he wasn't thinking about doing anything…in fact, he'd had his sights set on a short kiss with Sharpay. But the real question was: why? Why the hell did he want to kiss Sharpay Evans, ice queen and prima girl of East High? She was a bitch, right? That's what everyone claimed her to be: a girl with a label, and that label happened to be ice queen, bitch or prima girl. She was known for her ruthlessness and nastiness towards others and Troy was known as the exact opposite.
And yet, newsflash: opposites attract.
But in reality, Sharpay of course wasn't as nasty as she was labeled. Everyone in high school exaggerated about others, and East High's students were no exception. It was no wonder why Taylor McKessie, best friend of Gabriella Montez and loyal student, and the Scholastic Decathlon team had resented him for being known as the "lunkhead basketball boy". Still, Gabriella had seen right through him and she'd seen the side of him that he'd always wanted people to see and in reality, he'd done the same with her. He was a compassionate guy and now that more people were aware of this, more people liked him and not just in the sense of that he was the captain of the basketball team and good-looking.
Gabriella was no different in the gist of the situation. She was incredibly shy and wanted to be more outgoing and try new things at East High, yet when she met Troy, her popularity had gone through the roof and now, she was much more outgoing. However, she was still that shy little girl that came to East High last year and Troy had seen right through her as well. Wasn't that why they were meant to be?
Troy swallowed awkwardly. All these mixed thoughts were jumbled in his mind and he felt like his brain was going to explode. He liked Gabriella and he contemplated that it was love, but sadly, he knew now that it was far from it. Deeper and stronger feelings for Sharpay were consuming his mind and his heart raced at even the slightest thought of her. She wasn't all that she was labeled as and in reality, she was just as vulnerable as anyone else.
See, that's the thing. Troy recognized that and he wasn't sure that the rest of his friends did, friends like Chad and Zeke, even Taylor and Gabriella. Though surprisingly, he was positive that Ryan, Sharpay's one and only brother, could distinguish the false side of Sharpay, who put down others to stay strong about herself, from the real Sharpay, the kind, sweet, vulnerable and forlorn Sharpay: the one that needed Troy to be by her side.
Not that he knew of course, but it's what he wished for. He wanted to be by her side, more than anything. Ever since his party, it was like he had some sort of revelation. From that day forward, he had a strong hatred towards Mr. Evans, whom he'd thought was particularly nice last summer. He was an extraordinary golfer and a guy that could have led him to a scholarship the easy way. But it was obvious that once the divorce had happened, he'd turned to drugs and alcohol to escape his past. He loathed Sharpay and Ryan, and of course his ex-wife, so he'd moved as far away as possible from them. And yet, it seemed like he'd forgotten something…
All he needed to know was just what that something was. If he knew, he could help Sharpay…in fact, he could save her. But wasn't that exactly what he wished to do? Of course. With an exasperated sigh, Troy figured he'd turn in and just as he was about to slip off his shirt and shorts, his dad entered the room with a stern expression plastered on his face. "Troy…"
"Hey dad," Troy mumbled in response, slipping his shirt off over his head to reveal his flawless toned abs and chest. All that basketball sure paid off! His gaze flitted away from him within moments and gravitated towards his open window where a cool breeze had just entered the room, sending his curtains awry. He could hear his dad's fingers strumming away on his walls and gradually entering the room, looking around at all the crap lying on Troy's floor – clothes that he had yet to wash, book after book, a few twenty dollar bills and an innumerable amount of school materials. Just your average teenage boy's room.
"Son, are you having trouble with anything? School, Gabriella?" His dad slowly asked, his eyes fixed onto the back of Troy's head. He knew his son and he only played his worst in basketball when there was something on his mind, or something had gone down that day or week that would cause him to become unfocused. With a scholarship in mind for Troy, Jack Bolton desired to have his son go to a great school with a fantastic basketball program and he knew his son had the capability of going on scholarship. He had talent, oh boy did he.
Troy was motionless for a few seconds, his gaze traveling to a nearby tree outside his window where a brown leaf had fallen from and was now drifting towards the lawn. He watched carefully as it shifted back and forth in midair and then landed gracefully on the lawn where it would sit until it was blown away by another huge gust of wind or breeze. His mind wandered after that and he contemplated why his father had even the slightest care in the world. All he wanted was for Troy to become the basketball guy, the guy that Troy himself was sick of being. He just wanted to fit in…be his regular, cool, casual self and crack stupid jokes. Most of all, he wanted to be with someone who felt the same way…someone who no one expected him to be with: the opposite of Gabriella.
We think that that someone is on the market…a certain blonde perhaps?
With a strenuous sigh, Troy rotated on his heels so he was facing his father with a certain innocence that he couldn't yet figure out that he had. "Yeah, dad, yeah," He murmured, his voice cracking as he did. "I don't even know who I am anymore…"
Troy wasn't the emotional type, but man when he felt like shit, he showed it. Hot tears began sliding down his cheeks and he couldn't bring himself to blink them away. They slid down his cheeks, past his chin and fell to the carpet below and Troy let out a faint whimper. He collapsed on his bed and buried his head into his pillows, his father in immediate shock. Troy was tough, and it took a lot to make the kid cry, it really did.
"Troy, come on," His dad took a seat on his bed right next to Troy and messed with his slicked hair. "Don't cry kid." You could tell he was not good at this parenting stuff at all. But a man to man talk was certainly more comfortable than a woman to man talk, aka mom to son. "Tell me what's bugging you. It'll do you good to get it off your chest," He exclaimed, grinning weakly as he heard another soft moan from the pillow.
"D-da-d," He choked out, swallowing and taking a few short breaths. "Gabriella hates me…and…and I- I don't love her…anymore," He panted breathlessly and took in a lot of air before a few more tears formed in his eyes. He gently lifted his head and felt the fronts of his slicked hair fall into his eyes. His dad had laid a gentle arm around him in the meantime and was tolerantly waiting for Troy to finish crying and let him know what was going on in a normal voice, hence he couldn't understand Troy when he was stuttering. "Son, I can't understand you. Can you try to calm down?"
After hearing this, Troy was trying his best to become serene and he wiped away the remaining tears, swallowed a few times some more short breaths. "I think," He began slowly, his eyes wandering to different corners of the room. "I think I should dump Gabriella."
His father stared at him appalled and felt like slapping him continuously but resisted the temptation, "What!?" He cried out in shock, standing up and pacing the room frantically. "But you love her! I mean, you always blush when she calls and you told me once that you can't stop thinking about her!"
"Ever heard of a thing called a crush dad?" Troy slightly mocked, chuckling under his breath as he quirked an eyebrow at his father playfully. "Besides, I'm in love…with somebody else," A smile came to his face as he spoke and he was mesmerized with thoughts of Sharpay and her gorgeous smile. He'd grown fond of glancing at her every now and then in homeroom and in the one other class they had together, English. She just always looked so amazing, so perfect. She would smile at him cutely and turn back to what she was doing, whether it'd be taking notes or raising her hand to answer a question. She was smart, and people really didn't give her credit for it; she was after all, a straight A-student.
He knew that he was constantly thinking about her and she was always on his mind, even in his dreams. He'd dream of her; he'd dream of being with her. His dreams were his desires and he desired to be with Sharpay, but he knew he might be getting ahead of himself just a tad. He was technically still with Gabriella, and with the whole crisis on Sharpay's hands, Troy doubted that she wanted to think about having a new man in her life. For now, being just friends would just have to do, even though it killed him inside.
"Who!?" His father shrieked again for the third time, Troy snapping out of his daze as he did so. His mind was so overwhelming with thoughts of Sharpay that sometimes he felt she was taking over his life, yet somehow, it was in a good way. His father was obviously becoming agitated and he assumed Troy was ignoring him and with exasperation, he yelled, "Troy! Listen to me! Are you in a bad mood or not?!"
"Not anymore," He replied coolly, sitting up straight in his bed and standing up. He began to walk towards his 20" jet black flat screen and turn on his XBOX360. In the spur of the moment, he'd decided that he was in the mood for a little Guitar Hero.
His father merely shrugged, calming himself down after his little tyrant. "Well, if you don't mind me asking…" He raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly. "Who's this new girl you're in love with?"
A gentle laugh came from Troy's mouth and he mocked his father by shrugging in return, "That's for me to know, and for you to figure out yourself." He winked as the credits for Guitar Hero began to show up while Troy strapped on the toy guitar and pressed the green key several times to start the game. He could hear his father laugh in return and his footsteps echoing away as he closed the door and shouted for him to 'go to bed soon or he'd be sorry!' Knowing how addicted to Guitar Hero, Troy wasn't bound to go asleep for a while.
After playing five songs, Troy paused to brush his teeth and while staring at himself in the mirror, the smile that he'd had since the tail end of his conversation with his father and while playing Guitar Hero slowly faded. He wasn't the same kid he was this summer; everything had changed. He'd fallen in love with a girl he had been too quick to judge, who had a fucked up father and he couldn't possibly confess his feelings to her at the moment, though he wanted to and he wasn't sure who he was anymore, because he most certainly couldn't be that "lunkhead basketball guy" that he'd been one year ago. So much had happened in this past year, it was kind of insane.
He still loved to sing and he had been thinking of trying out for the Winter Musical of Grease with Gabriella again. He knew Sharpay and Ryan would be going for the lead again and he'd figured to have some stiff competition, but now, he wondered if Sharpay was even debating on trying out. Ryan might still go for it without this sister's help. But, the whole drama unfolding within his family might not even stop him from auditioning; Mr. Evans was his father too, but surprisingly enough, he wasn't as bothered by the situation as Sharpay was. But girls tended to be more emotional about everything and being publicly humiliated at a party for the entire senior grade was far from something to not worry about.
Rinsing out his toothpaste and gargling a quarter of a pint of Scope Cool Mint mouthwash, Troy examined himself in the mirror once more. He furrowed his brows and tried to smile, but wore a graceful frown instead. He just wasn't himself and there was no denying it. Normally, Troy would be full of smiles and talking on the phone with Gabriella, who'd he thought was made for him. But instead, here he was, mourning over the fact that he couldn't be with Sharpay at the moment, the Sharpay Evans, and could barely crack a smile.
He sighed heavily, his gaze flitting between his reflection in the mirror and a tiny picture of Gabriella that he had hung next to his medicine cabinet. Without thinking, he carefully removed the picture from the wall and promenaded back into his room. He slipped the picture of Gabriella who had quite the cute grin on her face, out of the frame and replaced it with a picture of Sharpay laughing that he had snapped outside of East High when he had just been talking with her a total of two weeks ago. Immediately upon seeing the picture, his face softened and a light smile daintily appeared on his face.
There she was, Sharpay Evans, the girl he just couldn't take his mind, and eyes off of. She was stunning in her own right, an individual if you may. And perhaps that's just what Troy liked best about her. In a way, she was her own person and it was a person Troy longed to be himself. Maybe he admired her. Maybe he just knew that she understood what it was like to have all this pressure constantly weighing him down: being the all-star coach's son, winning game after game of basketball and getting good grades in school, not to mention staying good looking. It was all a game to Troy. And in his own right, it was.
All of High School was a game, a game that Troy had so far been winning. Yet lately, it was a game he not only felt like he was failing, but he just didn't feel like playing. He'd never really had thoughts like this before, and now he was questioning himself as to why. Half the school only really looked up to him because he was the captain of the Basketball team and led the team to victory consecutively, not to mention he was the prima boy of East High. He was a nice guy though, not that they knew, because of stereotypes of course. Ah, stereotypes.
But he was thinking too much.
Gabriella was a bitch and she wouldn't even accept his apology for something he hadn't even done. That, according to Troy, was arrogant and rude. He was fed up with being the nice guy and tired of listening to all of her stupid rambling at night. No, he wasn't just tired: he was done.
He wanted to be done with Gabriella, done with being the captain of the Wildcats…done with.
Get'cha, Get'cha Head in the game.
"Crap, I have to change that ring tone," He muttered fervently as he raced for his phone, presuming it was Gabriella. However, his gaze froze when he saw the caller id which read: Sharpay Evans.
Sharpay? Calling me at this hour? What a sweetheart. No, shut up
Troy, you two are just friends. Pssht, yeah right.
Calming himself and attempting to think of a way to start a conversation, Troy flipped open the phone, breathed out and smiled lightly, "Hello?"
"Troy, hey. It's Sharpay." A voice chirped zealously from the other line. She sounded happy, not that Troy knew or anything. He was really crappy at guessing girl's emotions. Besides, they were the moodiest people.
"Hey," He replied coolly, clearing his throat and swallowing slightly. He wished he could feel her hot breath against his ear speaking to him and having that severe sexual tension between them, like they'd had today. Shit. How could she be making him so horny just by speaking to him on the telephone?
"Listen, I'm sorry about Gabriella…I just want to talk," She sounded unsteady suddenly.
See, moody as hell.
"It's not your fault. I'm a little fed up with her anyway," He exclaimed half-heartedly, shrugging to himself. He gazed at himself in the mirror, playing with his gelled-back hair a bit. He styled it so that his bangs curled up in the front. He winked as he heard Sharpay murmur, "Really? Why?"
He sighed nonchalantly, "She's not answering her phone. I left like thirty fucking messages." He was Mr. Exaggeration…eh?
Sharpay giggled slightly, but halted herself. "I'm sorry. That was really insensitive." She began, choking on her words. She was just trying to say the right thing. "I mean, you seemed to take it as a joke…"
He laughed slightly, shaking his head in the mirror and lowering his gaze to the mouthpiece of his cell, "No worries Sharpay, I understand. Besides, it is a little funny." God, her giggle made him want to wrap his arms around her and never let go. He should tell her...yeah, yeah, he should just blurt it out. He was known to take risks anyway, wasn't he?
"Listen, I've got to get to bed." He paused his rapid thinking process to state. "But how about you meet me by the big oak tree outside tomorrow before school, like 7ish?" He smiled weakly, the spur of the thought just making him happy. "Whaddya say?"
"Sounds great," Sharpay smiled to herself, twirling a strand of her with her index finger. She bit her lip and made note to herself to arrive early tomorrow. "Goodnight Troy." She flipped her cell phone closed.
And now, he was going to do it. He was just going to tell her he loved her. He didn't give a damn about decision making anymore, or at least for right now.
"Sharpay, wait! I love you-" But it was too late. The click had been audible. Troy groaned loudly and flopped on his bed, dropping his cell phone atop his mattress and drifting to sleep immediately, without a care in the world.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN: Sorry about the late update! I've been really busy lately, and I got sick with the flu! I hope you enjoy! I've already got a lot of ideas for the next chapter, and heh, I'm leaving you with another cliffy! Lol, I guess that's what keeps my readers. Expect another update this weekend hopefully, depending on how much time I have. I've got a midterm to make-up since I was sick, so if not this weekend, the weekend after. Thanks all for reading and reviewing! Remember, it really motivates me. So if you want a new chapter, you know what to do!
