Alec watched the floor intently as they scaled the stairs back up to the Institute. His mind was playing his mother's words over and over in a painful loop. He didn't realize he was falling until Izzy had to catch him.
"By the Angel, Alec. Are you really okay?" she gasped, pressing her hand nervously to her forehead.
"I feel…sick." He gasped, standing slowly. He glanced around, realizing they were in front of his room. Before Isabelle could ask more questions he threw himself the last few yards to his room and slammed the door shut behind him. Alec slid to the floor, body shaking. He had broken out into a cold sweat. His shoulders shook as his headache returned with sharp intensity. Suddenly, his arms gave out and he slumped into his side, curling in on himself, pressing his face to the cold tile of the floor. When he woke up he was flat against the floor. He moved slowly, head pounding in protest. Alec tried to think of a reasonable possibility for all this. Maybe he had hit his head when he collapsed after Camille drained him. Lots of the things he was experiencing were side effects of a concussion. But at the same time, the twisted feeling in his gut told him that this was something far deeper. He staggered to the sink, dousing his head in cold water. After a few moments of blinking at his reflection he flung himself on the bed, the chilled cloth soothing the fire that burned across his skin. But they stung like ice on his flesh, compared to Magnus' warm embrace.
_..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._
Jace watched his parabatai carefully as the cab rounded the corner of 1st street. They were headed to an abandoned building down the road where faint traces of demonic activity had been reported. Nothing too big, but Alec didn't look like he could handle anything right about now. He gazed vacantly out the window, looking pale and unwell. He didn't move a muscle as the cab crawled to a stop a few storefronts away from the building in question.
"Get up." Jace ordered, nudging the dazed Shadowhunter. Alec flinched as if he had been struck, making the cab driver glance nervously through the rearview mirror. Slowly, Alec exited the vehicle, thanking the driver mutely and rounding the car to the sidewalk. Jace sighed, briefly wondering if he should have brought Isabelle. But they were parabatai, and Jace knew that Alec needed the distraction. As they approached the building, Jace was relieved to see Alec's face gain that familiar determined grimace. They slid into the decrepit building unseen, casting aside their glamours to reveal that each was a walking armory. Alec unsheathed his seraph blade, cooing it's name. The blade came to life in a golden-blue blaze of holy fire. Jace copied his partner, flexing the sword in his grip while admiring the tumbledown building. Together they slunk through the darkened hallways, blades casting eerie shadows against the walls and doorways. Alec had dropped his pace a step behind Jace's, which bothered the other Shadowhunter. Suddenly, they reached a corridor that stretched two directions. Jace leaned into the passage, glancing both ways for signs of demons. Alec was no longer next to him. He threw a subtle glance over his shoulder, and saw Alec leaning in darkened doorway. He was tracing the rune for focus in his arm, taking a steadying breath. He glanced up and their eyes met. Neither spoke. Then Jace let out an uneasy sigh, turning back to his task. Alec stashed his stele in his pocket, touching his hand to the hilt of his seraph blade once more. Suddenly from the shadows there was a faint, burbling noise from behind him. Alec whipped around, drawing his blade out in front of him at a sharp angle, watching the shadows intently. The noise morphed, shifting and slurping, never consistent enough for him to pinpoint its distance. And then a shape exploded from the shadows. A Ravenger demon lunged at him from the darkness and Alec swung his sword forward sharply. The creature hissed, sliding sideways in a trail of black, thick demon blood. Alec held his blade ready again, glaring into the demon's cluster of black eyes. It's tail whipped dangerously back-and-forth, the sharp barbs threatening him. Suddenly, three more appeared, and Alec watched nervously as they began to circle him. His hand tightened on the blade, and he was just about to swing when one of the demons let out a bubbling screech. Black ichor dripped onto the stone floor, dissolving the material as the demon writhed, head severed almost cleanly off. Then it folded in on itself, dissolving in a spatter of smoke and blood. Jace grinned, stepping away from his kill and standing with his back to Alec.
"Need some help?" he smirked. Alec gritted his teeth.
"What took you so long?" he said accusingly. The other Ravengers clicked and slurped, eyeing the Shadowhunters. They had a cruel, calculating look, one that Alec had never seen on this particular demon. They were usually henchman for a bigger demonic creature, all brawn and no brains so to speak. Suddenly, the barbed tail shot toward Alec and he brought his blade out in a wide arc, leaning back to avoid the spray of blood as the tip of the creature's tail was severed clean off. The angel sword burned with fury, and its flames distracted Alec for an instant. Color flashed before his eyes. Alec's legs gave out from under him as pain exploded through his head and he fell on hands and knees, sword trapped under his flat palm. The demon paused for a moment in puzzlement. Then it lunged and Alec watched in horror as it's sharp, crocodilian jaws came for him. A sword burned before his vision, stabbing into the demon's head. It writhed, splattering blood up Alec's arms. The drops seared his skin, blood running to his palms. Then the demon was gone, and so was the pain. Alec stared at the floor, stunned. He could feel Jace hauling him up by his shoulders.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jace roared. "You almost got killed, by a Ravenger!" Alec shook his head, and Jace's anger melted when he saw the stunned, sick expression on Alec's face. He sighed, running a hand through his golden-blonde hair.
"Sorry." Alec croaked weakly, drawing his stele absentmindedly and beginning to heal himself.
Jace shook his head, walking to the exit.
"Come on. Let's go home."
"Jace." Alec called, voice shaking.
"What?" Jace said looking back over his shoulder. Alec glanced around the room with an unfocused gaze,
"I- I can't see yet."
_..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._
Isabelle shifted in her seat, spooning cereal into her mouth as quickly as possible. She was desperate to get out of the kitchen. Alec sat cross-legged in the chair across from her, absent mindedly pushing a Cheerio around the bowl with his spoon. Isabelle frowned at her own bowl. As soon as Alec had gone to his room, Jace had told her and Maryse what had happened. The fact that Alec was the first to go to bed was a warning sign for Isabelle, but after hearing what Jace had to say she was fearful for her brother. Alec stood suddenly, crossing the room to the sink with the cereal-filled bowl. Maryse Lightwood perched over the sink, cleaning dishes. Tension crackled through the air as the two neared each other. Isabelle shrank into her seat. Maryse moved sideways rigidly, letting Alec drop his bowl in the sink with a resounding clatter. No one said anything. Alec trudged slowly back across the room towards the door. He pushed his chair in loudly with one foot, a scowl on his face.
"Alec…" Isabelle hissed warningly.
"Alexander, when are you going to wash your hair?" his mother asked suddenly, back still turned. Alec ran a hand through the faintly glittered strands, remnants of the previous night.
"Dunno." He muttered, turning the knob and stepping into the hall.
"Stay in the Institute." Maryse ordered as calmly as she could, but the plate she had been cleaning dropped a little too harshly into the dishwasher.
"Yeah." Alec snapped, closing the door loudly. He veered off into the library quickly, sitting himself down in an armchair. Whenever he was in here it reminded him of Hodge and of Hugo, a bittersweet memory. He rested his forehead on the palm of his hand, leaning forward in the seat. That was before everything had gone wrong. When Hodge would give them lessons and read them storied by the fire. He looked up at the fireplace now; which was nothing but a pile of ash. Alec thought to himself that that was a pretty accurate picture of life right about now. He barely registered when Isabelle entered the room. She watched her brother, hunched over, clutching his head. Three days after the incident he wasn't looking any better.
"Are you going to lecture me?" he asked, leaning back against the chair and looking up at her. Isabelle frowned, leaning against the doorframe.
"You shouldn't do that to mom, you know. She's only – thinking of Max." Isabelle said slowly. Alec stiffened, looking pained. Nothing but ash. He reminded himself, gazing into the grey pile in the hearth. Nothing more left his lips though. Isabelle gave a frustrated sigh., coming over to sit on the arm of the chair. Her heels scraped the ground noisily as she swung her legs back and forth nervously.
"Jace told us about yesterday." She began. After receiving no response she continued. "Do you feel–"
"I wish you guys would leave me alone." He said plainly, shifting his head to look away from here. Isabelle stood, looking hurt.
"Fine, Alec. See you later." She said quietly, exiting swiftly and slamming the door behind her. Alec sighed, head lolling against the seat back.
He just wanted to be alone. Alec closed his eyes, thinking of the hours he had left before he could go to sleep. Hours of nothing to do. And worst of all, no distraction. Maryse had sent Magnus back to his apartment in Brooklyn. Magnus. Alec's chest ached,a nd he chanted to himself to shut up, to not think about these things. He was only torturing himself. But he found he liked the pain. Alec found himself thinking quite suddenly of the first time… Magnus' fingers hooked in his belt loops, pulling him close as they stood in the doorway of the warlock's apartment, parting Alec's lips and nipping at his throat. Alec's heart pounded a little faster in his chest. He growled at himself, pressing his head back into the chair so hard it began to hurt. Heat rose through his chest, and he found his hands were quivering minutely. He was utterly exhausted. And though he refused to admit it, he no longer believed he was recovering. He felt worse everyday. Alec sulked in the library for hours, allowing the pain to come and go, drifting in and out of alertness. Eventually he realized the sun was sinking. No one had disturbed him, not even to eat, he noted with satisfaction. And just as he thought it, the door swung open loudly. Jace strode into the room, closing the door behind him. Alec waited.
"Something's not right here Alec and you know it." Jace said, staring him down, daring him to argue. Alec said nothing, just watched him through narrowed eyes.
"Alec." He ordered, forcing him to speak. Alec sat forward in the seat, making an effort to pay attention.
"Yeah?" he said lazily.
"So… why did she keep you alive?" Jace asked, pacing. Alec realized that Jace was piecing things together in his mind even as he spoke, trying to think of a solution. He was suddenly taken out of his dismal mood, seeing how much Jace cared about him. It would have made him jump for joy a year ago, when he had thought he had loved the Shadowhunter. Now he had Magnus. "She must have known your heart was still beating." Alec's exhaustion was making him cross, and he really didn't want to think about all this right now.
"Maybe she didn't want to kill me. Maybe she sated her thirst and then skipped town before Magnus could come after her." Alec argued, but he knew that this didn't make sense. He still remembered Camille's words.
"Then you would be healed by now. You have enough iratzes on you to heal a decapitated whale." Jace said. Alec scowled.
"That's exaggerating just a bit." He said, but he couldn't argue much. It ws true. He should be healing.
"She's done something to you. She had ulterior motives beside getting a drink."
"Maybe she has some honor." Alec said coldly.
"She's a vampire, Alec." Jace said matter-o-factly, as if the statement had solved the question of her honor permanently. "Magnus claimed to have healed you three days ago." Jace started.
"He DID." Alec interjected.
"Then you shouldn't still be ill." Jace stated, fixing Alec with a victorious grin. Alec sank further into his chair.
"It's just side effects…" he said weakly. His headache was intensifying.
"We're parabatai, Alec. You know that's not true, and I know that's not true." No response. "STOP moping for a minute and think." Jace yelled, and Alec snapped to attention. He had rarely seen Jace this frustrated. He struggled to think of something while the Shadowhunter watched him with an accusatory glare.
"I don't know, Jace." he sighed. "Leave me alone." Jace's anger dissolved quickly as he watched Alec slump dejectedly into his chair. "You may have given up but I haven't." Jace said calmly. "Come on. We're going to the Silent City." He took Alec by the hand and hauled him up.
"I'm not allowed to leave the house." Alec reminded him.
"Isabelle's covering for us." Jace said with a wry grin. "Come on. We're gonna poke around in your head."
_..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._..._
The dark shadowed yard that led to the Silent City loomed before Jace and Alec as they stepped out of the cab. Alec's nerves had doubled during the car ride. Last time they had visited the Silent City, they had found Jace, bloody and battered in one of their cells. The shadows swam across the stone path, hiding the flaws in the cracked stone. Alec staggered on a protruding stone, quickly righting himself. Jace stopped suddenly, peering into the shadows.
"I know you're there." he said tauntingly. The shadows parted as two figures stepped into the moonlight. One was Brother Jeremiah. The other was Magnus.
He looked much more like himself now. His small, narrow ears were dotted with gold hoops and studs. Magnus' green-tinted lips turned down at the edges as they approached. The warlock watched Jace warily through slitted eyes that glowed against the charcoal black makeup coating his eyelids.
"Your late." He said accusingly, crossing his arms over his chest. Jace opened his mouth, no doubt to make a sarcastic comment, when a voice echoed through their heads.
Let's not delay. Brother Jeremiah said flatly, no inflection coloring his voice, and he turned to lead them to the Silent City. Alec let out a breath, watching Jace follow the hooded figure. Suddenly something brushed Alec's hand and he jumped, looking up in surprise. Magnus clasped Alec's hand in his own, the warlock's black fishnet gloves brushing Alec's palm. He gave Alec a re-assuring nod, and then began to pull him forward toward the city. The trip into the City of Bones was no less dismal than the last time Alec had came. The four traveled into the depths of the Silent Brother's home, Brother Jeremiah leading them silently onward. Then he held out a pale, bony hand, motioning for them to stop. The three halted just inside a tall, sleek black entryway as Brother Jeremiah entered the room before them.
A row of Silent Brothers sat along a long, wooden table pressed back against the wall. The Mortal Sword hung above them, restored to it's proper home. The rest of the room was empty, except for a fain tracery of runes and angelic marks chiseled into the stone underfoot. Magnus suddenly looked at the Brothers alertly, eyes narrowed. Alec realized that the Silent Brothers were no doubt speaking directly to him through his mind. Jace and Alec watched and waited as Magnus' expression changed from calm to frustration, hands falling onto his hips sassily. Finally, he nodded, gazing at Alec with an unreadable expression. In fact, Alec realized nervously that everyone in the room was watching him.
Alexander Lightwood. The combined voices of the Silent Brothers echoed inside his head, perfectly in sync with one another. Shall we begin? They asked, and Alec nodded back faintly. The symbols on the stone floor suddenly glowed and pulsed faintly. Alec closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. His headache had melted away, and for a second he was filled with a startling peace. Then lights flashed behind his eyelids, forming themselves into images. Isabelle appeared, but she was different. Smaller, younger, more alive. She beckoned to him, running through the streets of Alicante. Her short hair bounced behind her as she fled from him, dress swishing around her ankles.
Alec realized that this was his childhood. Images of those distant, beautiful days came and went in a hazy swirl; no memory was as sharp and bittersweet then of Izzy. Then other things began to appear. Jace stood in front of Alec, but his hair was floating as if in a soft breeze. The golden-haired Shadowhunter opened his mouth, reaching a hand out to Alec. Alec stretched out his trembling arm. But the moment their fingertips met, Jace let out a scream of agony. Flames burst from Alec's fingertips, running up Jace's arm and down his back, morphing and stretching into massive wings of fire that stretched from Jace's shoulder blades. And then Jace was gone, golden ashes drifting away in the unfelt breeze. Alec shouted, and shouted again into the darkness, but couldn't tell what he was saying.
Hands grabbed him roughly by the shoulders, spinning him around. Alec drew his blade, plunging it forward. It sank into the gut of his attacker just as their lips met. Magnus. Alec cried out, pulling at the handle of the dagger but it wouldn't budge. Magnus paid it no heed, drawing Alec closer, pulling at his mouth. Alec shook him away, staggering back.
"Magnus!" he shouted in horror, covering the wound with his hands, trying to stop the blood that pooled against Magnus' skin. The blood ran through Alec's fingers and onto his wrists, circling his skin in thick red lines up his arms. Magnus slumped to the floor, eyes closing, face contorted in pain. Suddenly, the back of Alec's throat went dry. His chest ached and growled as he leaned over Magnus, trying to save him. The warlock's pulse throbbed vibrantly under his skin, running down his neck in a brilliant ruby strand. Pain dotted Alec's lips, and he licked them, catching blood on his tongue. He closed his mouth, feeling an unfamiliar shape beneath his gums. His mouth was hovering over Magnus' throat suddenly. He acknowledged what was happening without feeling, leaning closer, pressing his lips against the vein. The weak throb of a pulse had become the pounding of a drum. His mouth opened, and he sank his fangs into Magnus' flesh, feeling salty, warm blood coat his tongue and drip down his throat…
Suddenly, Magnus was gone. Blood dripped from the corners of Alec's mouth, and only then did the trance lift. He stared into the blackness that surrounded him in horror, letting out an anguished cry. There was silence, nothing but silence. He felt like screaming again, just to hear the sound. Then the shadows shifted, and Camille slid from the void, uncomfortably bright in the surrounding darkness. Her silver-blonde hair fell down to her toes, covering her face, shadowing her features. She reached down, grabbing Alec by the wrists, lifting him to his feet. As she stood, her hair parted, and Alec stared in shock at her face. It was a smooth plane, featureless except for two dark orbs set into the skin. Her grip turned to fire on his hands, searing up his body. The rings of blood that ran up his forearm had begun to burn brightly, smoking against his skin. Alec thrashed and writhed against her grip, screaming out. The pain shot up his arms and into his chest, and he collapsed to his knees, pulling her down with him. She watched him blankly, a blood red tear oozing from the corner of one dark orb. And then his body convulsed and he closed his eyes, screaming as his heart caught fire in his chest.
"Enough."
A hand grabbed Alec roughly be the shoulder, and he gasped, eyes shooting open. His body shook with trembling breaths as he restored his grip on reality. He was in the Silent City. None of it had been real… He blinked at the rune carved below him where he had clearly collapsed on hands and knees. Focus. He took a deep breath, trying to slow his heart. He could still feel the pain racing up his body, exploding in his chest. He suddenly realized he was clutching at his heart with one hand, and shook himself off, stumbling to his feet. Magnus never released his grip on Alec, and the Shadowhunter was thankful. He felt seconds away from blacking out again. He looked up, searching the warlock's face, but neither Magnus nor Jace were paying attention to him any longer. Alec felt faintly frustrated. The Silent Brothers were supposed to be helping him, and yet they refused to speak to him. He glared at his shoes, feeling his heart rate return to normal, breathing into the uncomfortably long silence. Magnus' hand tightened uncomfortably on Alec's shoulder. The Shadowhunter glanced over at the warlock, confused, and his breath caught in his throat. Magnus was staring at Brother Jeremiah wide-eyed, his face unusually pale. His mouth had become a rigid line, faintly pulled where Alec could tell he was chewing his lip. Alec glanced over at Jace to see much the same expression; a little more concealed perhaps, but Alec could see through Jace's disguises better than anyone. A sinking feeling began in his stomach, seeing Jace's hands balled into shaking fists at his sides. Something was seriously wrong. Brother Jeremiah led them out of the city without a word. Magnus, with some effort, had released Alec and strode alongside the Brother in what appeared to be a fierce and silent argument. Alec crossed over to Jace.
"What's happening?" he demanded, fixing Jace with a stern look. The Shadowhunter threw him a glance, shaking his head slowly.
"Not… not now, Alec." He said calmly as they stepped outside into the polluted air of the big city.
Farewell Alexander. The Brother said briefly, nodding to each of them. And before Alec could stop him, he had vanished back underground.
"What's going on?" Alec demanded, glancing between their stricken expressions. Jace ignored him, watching Magnus steadily.
"I'm going back to the Institute to, tell them." He said levelly, turning and walking away.
"Tell them what?" Alec called after him, but it was clear Jace wouldn't answer. Alec rounded on Magnus, grabbing him by the arm. "Tell them what?" he demanded, but his voice cracked. Magnus looked at him through wide, feline eyes. His expression sent shivers down Alec's spine.
"Come with me." Magnus said quietly.
"Magnus!" Alec snapped in frustration. The warlock looked away, toward the street.
"Please Alec." He said, unable to look him in the eye. Alec was still. His fear had worsened. Maybe he didn't want to know… But he had to. At once he felt ashamed for treating Magnus so harshly, when clearly something… big was going on. Alec sighed, releasing his grip.
"Fine."
