It was raining. Again. When we'd left for the greenhouses the skies had been overcast and grey, but we had been hopeful that perhaps the rain would hold off until we were safely back in the castle. Upon further reflection, this was Scotland and I was never that lucky. The first drop hit the glass slowly, and I was so engrossed in not having the tantacula leaves bite off one of my fingers that I did not notice until Marlene let out her first string of profanity of the day.

"Bloody, sodding, hell it's started," she said loud enough for Professor Putrit to hear. He was an old, lanky man who we were all sure would be joining the ranks of the esteemed ghost faculty of Hogwarts very, very soon. Unfortunately for Marlene and the rest of Gryffindor house, the old buzzard had spectacular hearing, and absolutely no sense of humor.

"That will be 10 points from Gryffindor for the use of expletives, and 10 more for disruptive behavior during class Miss McKinnon. And you, Miss. Evans as head girl really ought to keep your friends in line." He glared at our corner of the greenhouse before turning around and hobbling back toward his desk.

I turned my head a glared at Marlene. "Why is it," I began under my breath, "that every time you decide to cock up, I somehow manage to be implicated, even when I have absolutely nothing to do with it?"

"Comes with the territory love," she answered with all the cheek in the world, despite just costing us our meager twenty-point lead on Slytherin for the cup. "Any association with yours truly involves risk and sacrifice," she said, grunting with the effort of pulling out the leaves.

Alice rolled her eyes from across the small table. With great force for one so small, she yanked the leaves off the horrible plant with an expert hand and no effort. I was of course, jealous.

"What I don't understand," said Alice mid-yank, "is how in the world that man is head of Hufflepuff house. Hufflepuff. He's awful. I don't understand it at all."

I wiped at the light sheen of sweat that was forming on my brow as I worked. The rain had barely begun and already the greenhouse was bloody humid. "You never know," I grunted, "perhaps once upon a time he wasn't this wretched."

Marlene scoffed as Alice quietly agreed with me. We kept working, pulling and sorting the vicious little buggers and as my friends prattled on, I began to feel the fine hairs on my neck rising. I glanced up and out the glass walls and saw what I thought was a person dart away. When I looked again, they were gone. Suddenly nervous, I darted my eyes around the room but nothing seemed out of place. Alice and Marlene were there, oblivious. Dorcas was across the room working with Remus and trying to control her blush. The Ravenclaws were scattered through, with Benjy Fenwick's long-ish sideburns standing out among them. Nothing was wrong. And yet I could not shake the feeling that someone was just out of sight, watching me. My hands had stopped moving as I tried to get a hold of myself and quell the ever growing sense of unease that had suddenly erupted inside me.

"Lily, you all right there, love?" Alice's comment had sprung me out of my reverie so fast that I dropped my pruning shears.

"What?" I bent down to pick up the shears and tried to control the sudden onset of panic.

"You're white as nearly headless Nick," said Marlene, putting her shears down and leaning over to look at me. "What's the matter?"

"I'm fine," I lied, "just a bit peaky all of a sudden."

"It'll be lunch soon. Perhaps you just need a bite to eat," offered Alice as she gathered all our leaves and separated them into their containers.

"All right there seventh years," wheezed Putrit, "sort your leaves and be prepared to soak them in the extracting solution next week." I silently thanked Merlin for small mercies as he dismissed the class.

"What's wrong with Lily?" asked Dorcas. I barely heard her. All I could focus on was getting through the crowd and out the door. Someone was watching me, I was sure of it. The sky had darkened considerably and a sudden flash of lightening struck, illuminating the outside. That was when I saw him.

Severus Snape was standing outside the greenhouses, still as a statue and staring right at me. The boy I knew was gone, my friend was gone. In his place was a man, a stranger and in the unnatural glow of the lighting he looked...soulless. It was pouring rain, and yet he was dry. The thunder struck but a few seconds later and while everyone jumped and a few shouted at the sound, I sagged in relief. My knees were shaking so badly I wasn't sure I'd be able to move on my own.

"I saw him," said Marlene from behind me. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and steered me out of the greenhouse. Alice cast impermeable charms on all of us, and I don't recall who was holding the umbrella. I barely remember the walk back up to the castle. Severus' face had burned its way into my consciousness, and I couldn't get it out.

When we reached the great hall for lunch, I stopped short and the girls stopped with me.

"I don't want to go in there," I said. I looked up to see the confused faces of Alice and Dorcas, and the curious glances of the students who had stopped to watch.

"All right then," Marlene said quietly. "Let's head back up to the tower, shall we? Alice will nick us something to eat, won't you Alice?"

Alice looked confused, but cooperated for the moment. "Of course I will. You should take her to see Madame Pomfrey," she said, hoisting her bag higher on her shoulder. "She doesn't look well." I didn't have the mind to tell her not to talk about me like I wasn't there. Because to be honest, I wasn't.

The last thing I heard was Sirius Black asking Dorcas, "what's the matter with Evans?"

When we were back in the common room, Marlene handed me a tall glass of water and sat me down on the sofa. She waited patiently for me to speak. It was a while before I found my voice.

"I felt him before I saw him. I don't know why I'm so afraid, why I'm reacting like this. It's only Severus after all. But that look on his face, I swear I thought he was going to—"

"I know," she interrupted. "I saw it as well. I saw the way he was looking at you," she said.

"Did you see how he was dry as a bone, and how it was pouring rain? No one can cast a charm that well, not even me, and I'm telling you right bloody now that he is absolute crap at charms." I took a healthy swig of water.

"I saw. Something isn't right that's for certain, and I've been telling you for years that he's a bad sort. But I don't think that's a reason to fear him. It's a reason to be cautious, that's all."

I thought about what to say for a long time before I said it. There was reason, and there was how I truly felt, and at that moment they did not coincide. So I decided to lie. "You're right, you're absolutely right. I'm head girl, and I…I won't let him win. He startled me, yes. But if he thinks he's going to scare me out of anything he's got another thing coming." I squared my shoulders and took a shaky but deep breath, faking a resolve I didn't yet have. "I'm going down to lunch."

Marlene smiled wide. "Yes, yes you are."

On the way down, we ran into Alice, whose arms were laden with food. She raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed at having to take a risk for no reason.

"Well then, if you insist on eating down there anyway, you're both helping me carry this back down, and should we get caught you two are explaining, not me." She was a bit put out, but relieved that I had reconnected with the rest of the waking world.

We entered the hall and I looked for Severus, first thing. He was sitting at his table sandwiched between McNair and Avery. He looked up, feeling my stare and I looked him in the eye for the first time in a long time. My hands were shaky, but we were across the room and my stare did not waver. It was a challenge, and a stupid one on my part because I knew he would answer it, he didn't have a choice. It was only a matter of time.

I looked away and turned to my table, sitting in the first available seat next to Remus. He turned his pretty grey eyes to mine and asked ever so quietly if I was all right. I nodded and tucked into my food. Potter was sitting across from me, shooting me inquisitive looks, which I ignored. He nudged my knee under the table and nodded across the room at Severus, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head, hoping he would leave it alone. As always when it came to James Sodding Potter, I should have known better.

I had cleared the doors of the hall and was almost to the stairs, when he grabbed me by the elbow so fast I had no time to scream.

"What happened during Herbology?" he asked, hiking his bag higher on his shoulder and pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Nothing. I got a little dizzy is all. I'm fine now." I made to leave and he grabbed my shoulder and spun me back around.

"Bollocks. You went white in the face and when that lightning struck, I saw who was standing outside. Is he threatening you?" I'd never seen his face so grave, his mouth was set in a line, no smile in his eyes. I lied again.

"No, he isn't. And even if he were, it's none of your business. I've told you before, I can look after myself."

"I'm head boy, if there is-"

"I've already told you, let it alone damn it!" People were stopping to stare now and I shrugged his hand off me and stomped off, which was not unusual at all when it came to the two of us.

I put on a brave face, because I was good at it. I'd be damned if anyone would know how rattled I was. How I looked in the mirror every morning and yelled at myself to keep it together.


I'd become an old hand at the cushioning charm, mostly because of the window seat in the south facing corner of the common room. It was flat from years of use and had never been replaced. It was my favorite place in the common room. I had rounds in a half hour; it was the head students' week to patrol. I was dreading the walk around the castle, dreading the stares and sneers of the Slytherins, though the looks were not concentrated to one house. Although the Slytherin students were the most outspoken in their views, there were Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and even some Gryffindors that advocated for a 'purer' Hogwarts. The funny thing was, I found it slightly unfair how the Slytherins were automatically pegged as bigots, no matter what their personal views. Irony aside, I was growing more nervous every day, and Marlene knew it.

"Shove over, Evans." Before I could move, Marlene shoved my feet away and sat down opposite me in the small alcove. She handed me a chocolate frog and opened her own.

"Nicked them from Remus. Best to destroy the evidence before he realizes he's been robbed, yeah?" I managed a half smile before taking a small bite.

"So you have rounds tonight," she stated.

"Yes." I took another bite, hoping a full mouth would keep me from having to answer any more questions.

"With Potter?" I nodded and kept looking out the window.

"This means you'll be leaving the tower." She leveled her blue eyes at me, sweeping her long blond hair behind her.

"Suppose it does," I said, slightly annoyed. I knew where this conversation was headed and I was not in the mood to explain myself.

"You said you weren't going to let him win Lily. That day, you walked in and glared at him, and I have to say I've never been more proud. But then you crawled back into the tower and have been cowering ever since. Why?" she demanded, and I frowned.

"Maybe I don't feel like being brave anymore. Maybe I'm bloody tired of putting on a show for this whole sodding school, just so they think that they think I'm worthy despite my little muggle handicap. Perhaps I need a bloody rest Marlene."

"You're full of it. And you know it. You're scared of him. I don't blame you; I would be as well. However, this is not you. I don't care if you're tired, or scared, or bloody anything else. I know you, and you never go down without a fight. Trust me when I say this, this damsel in distress bit, hiding in a tower and waiting for them to come and get you, this isn't you. Lily Evans may not start fights, but she sodding finishes them. When Lily Evans is down, she takes two or three down with her. So snap the bloody hell out of it, because I want my best mate back!" She'd raised her voice a great deal and now several first and second years were staring. I hated being stared at.

I didn't answer her. There was nothing to say. I looked down at my watch and mumbled something about being late for rounds. I got down from the window seat and went around the corner into the common room proper, meaning to wait for James by the portrait hole, and hoping he wasn't feeling talkative. Fortunately he saw the look on my face, the way I was worrying my lower lip between my teeth and said nothing.

We walked in silence for the first hour, without any direction. Even if we had found anyone out after hours, I was not in the mood to deal with them. I was lethargic from being on edge all the time; I had no energy left to scold children. James bounced between starting straight ahead and then at me. I didn't have it in me to be annoyed. I was drained from being on my guard all the time, and it was through my exhaustion that I noticed that finally my back wasn't against a wall.

It wasn't that it was him, specifically. It was that it was someone who I didn't feel threatened by. More than that, it was someone I knew would not defend me, or try to protect me, but would have my back in a fight. It wasn't stifling; it was safe.

When we reached the seventh floor, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Better then?" he asked. There was no trace of his snark or arrogant cheek. It was a simple and polite question, and it deserved a simple and polite answer.

"Yes, better. Thank you."

"Brilliant." He smiled and ruffled his hair some. "Well then, we should head up to the astronomy wing and clear out the tower before we check the dungeons. It's closer and probably more interesting."

"I reckon you're right," I answered in a voice that was raspy from such infrequent use. He led the way, and we were quiet again. It was so easy, so simple. The silence was not terse or clouded over with sadness and fear.

When James suggested that we skip the dungeons, I did not protest. He raised an eyebrow at my willingness to skive off the end of patrols and I sighed.

"You're not doing this because of Snape, are you?" he asked, bringing us both to a halt.

"I'm just tired," I half lied. I was tired. And I was dreading running into Snape in any place that wasn't spilling over with witnesses. I didn't know what he'd try. Hell, I didn't know what I'd try.

"Good," he answered. "Because you are a Gryffindor Evans, and I won't have you sullying our reputation by cowering from that tosser. I won't hear of it, understand?" Any other time it would have been a joke, a way to get a laugh despite myself and admit that he was funny. Not that night. That night he was dead serious, his brown eyes narrowed, his hair laying flat for once. Marlene was right, I realized. I didn't cower, and I didn't hide. And Merlin's bread I didn't apologize.

"Understood." I turned left and headed back down the stairs.

"Evans, the tower is that way," he said pointing to the right.

"I know," I said after a deep breath. "I've caught my second wind." I kept walking, and when I was about to round the corner and he was still standing there I asked, "coming or cowering, Potter?" He grinned wide, and trotted after me.


a/n: Not too sure about this one. Thoughts? Either way, thank you for reading!