Sorry. I know it's been a month since I last update. But I've been busy. It's near the end of my first semster for me. and I'm goin' on break. But it's not break. I have more projects than classes. (sad right) i'm really jumble up b/c of two hour delay for my school and pushed everything around. And Chinese new years is coming up meaning oh joy, family time. I dislike family time.
man does not belong to me
I can't remember if i got this back from my beta reader. If i didn't I"M SORRY FOR ALL THE MISTAKES AND MY BAD MEMORY!
Chapter 3
Shadows
Lenalee didn't slow down when she reached the school. She didn't stop till she got to the principal's office. Lavi and Bookman were there already when she walked in. Same with the main reason why there was there, Allen Walker. Lenalee frowned, this was an issue. Not a small issue but a rather large one.
"Allen, you can't go." The principal explains cutting straight to the point about the trip.
"Why? It's only for a week. The doctor says I can I go." Allen pouts. "I will be fine. My doctor has connections up in Kyoto. If I have an attack, Lavi knows what to do."
"No." Bookman sternly said. He wouldn't have care if his idiot grandson could save someone's life, he didn't want Allen to go either.
Kanda didn't know what to do. He had to finish the first part of the essay but it has to be in depth too. "No." He heard Bookman said. "You know your health Mr. Allen."
"It's going to be fine." Allen raised his voice but it was only a little.
"That's what you said three years ago! Now look how much you lost. You can't even walk for two minutes without running out of breath." Lenalee explains. "Komui-onii-san, don't let him go." Lenalee harped. She knew they were being unfair to Allen but this was for his health benefits.
"Allen. Lenalee does have a point. You just got another attack last week. They were happening more lately too. And somehow you got out of the hospital." Komui explains. Just in three weeks he usually had zero to one attack but now he gets one at least once a week.
"It's only to the-"
"Which is in Kyoto" Komui reminded Allen, cutting him off.
"How about this? If I don't have another attack within the next two weeks, can I go?" Komui reminds silent. He didn't want to answer that. If he didn't allow it, it would be unfair, if he did, he might regret it. "Komui?" Allen called Komui again. He wanted the answer. He knew he could hold back an attack if he wanted. He could take care of himself.
"Fine. If only if you don't. Even if a coughing outburst will get you off this trip." Komui explains. Outside Kanda clenched his fist. Moyashi has a problem? He thought. Beginning to walk again, he hurries off to his first class.
(Later)
When Kanda sees Allen walking into the English classroom, their last class, his eyes narrow on the silver hair boy. His silver eyes were determined too win that bet. Lenalee on the other hand wasn't pleased. Lavi didn't have a say. Bookman didn't want him to bother with this problem. But Lavi didn't want to hold Allen back on this trip. If he wanted to, he could go. He didn't know what to do when he had an attack.
"Yu-chan. Are you going to Kyoto?" Lavi asks Kanda.
"Baka Usagi. Don't call me by that name!" Kanda shouted. Allen sighed, a rare sight. Allen was the one who would break the fight and hid his emotions when needed. It seems that Lenalee was still against that bet.
"Lenalee it's fine." Kanda heard softly. "So don't worry."
"Allen. No. You know how's your health condition. You just got out of the hospital. Do you want to go back in after the trip or on the trip?" Lenalee explained. Kanda flinches but hid his surprise when Lenalee shot him a look. "You don't want anyone to worry." Allen didn't look up to Lenalee. He didn't understand why wasn't he allow onto the trip. Like he said, there was a doctor there ready for him if needed.
"Lenalee. Stop telling me that I can't go. You should know how I feel too. If I don't go I know I will regret it. You know that." Allen snap, explaining loudly but began coughing shortly. And you know that I hate doing that. Why is everyone treating me like this? Allen thought. Lenalee didn't continue to fight with him. The fighting was going in circles but she knew that Allen didn't want to regret.
"Allen...." Lenalee began. She didn't want to go back to the hospital. No, not again.
Kanda didn't move when Lenalee looked at him again. This time it was full of worry. Kanda didn't have anything to say. Lenalee was Allen's big sister. Lavi was his big brother. He was just his partner in class. They had to worry about their little brother like their own family. But they didn't want to place him in a cage where they had to watch his every move 24/7. Opening his mouth might not help Allen in this situation.
"Lenalee. You know its moyashi to choose to how he lives. You shouldn't restrain him. Like you said, he doesn't need protection." Kanda explains. He didn't know what else to say. He shouldn't have open his mouth either but he did. He didn't know the boys condition that well. The only time he saw Allen suffer was yesterday and to him he could understand why they wouldn't want him too. He didn't see him before everything happened but it seems it was getting worse.
"Not if his condition worsens. He should still be in the-"
"Lenalee!" Allen shouted cutting her off. Allen immediately reached for his neck and gave a few coughs. "Don't...say more than...needed." Allen finished. Lenalee closed her mouth and gave a quick sigh. Walking away, Allen relaxed. "Thank you Kanda. Lenalee likes to look after me a lot."
"I can see." Kanda would have walked away. He wouldn't handle being controlled. How could the moyashi live like that? Kanda thought. "You don't have to follow them."
"Usually they let me do things like vacations but everything is going downhill so everything starts being restricted one by one." Allen explains. But time for me isn't slowing down. "I don't want to sit around when I can do something." A smile was formed on Allen's lips. How could he smile? Kanda thought.
"che. Baka Moyashi. You're going to regret being reckless later."
"I had stopped regret anything every since three years ago." Allen blandly stated. It was true that he stopped regretting three years ago. There isn't a point if you do something you don't want to do. But three years ago was as a different story. He acted irrational and sometimes acted up tight. Either way was not thoughtful. He was a musician, athlete and a student council. Now he was free and able to relax in life.
"You have to regret something in the past three years." Kanda grumbles. Allen didn't say anything. What does he need to say? Like about that he did have some things to regret about and wish that something may never happen. Allen didn't regret anymore. Starting with that accident. That happened because it happened. They can't change what had happen. Sulking over the past didn't appeal to Allen. No, walking to the future was more like it. They both remain silent. There wasn't anything more to talk about. Both won't open up more than needed. They rather keep themselves hidden.
"Kanda. Want to go to the movies and hang out?" Everyone stopped. Allen rarely hanged outside of school with anyone anymore. That had stopped six months ago when it went down the hill. more. Kanda rarely hangs out with anyone but Lenalee and his 'best friend' Lavi. Kanda didn't have anything to say. He didn't have a reason to say no but he didn't want to go. No, that wasn't a reason. There was defiantly more to it then that. "Just nod or wave a hand fora yes." Kanda almost dropped dead. Those words were the same from him. Alma.
"Che. Fine." He responded when he got out of the short trance. He would not fall in love with this......moyashi. He couldn't handle seeing Alma again. Allen was bright, just like Alma. No. He thought. Allen isn't Alma.
( a few hours later )
Kanda had arrived early. They set it as a dinner/movie that night. "Maybe" it can be taken as a man date. Fuck this. Kanda cursed. What men date? Kanda rather pleasure himself than admit to bonding time. Wait, he rather do neither. Yu Kanda does not do man dates. Not bonding time, no man dates, no friendship tests, nothing.
"Kanda." The soft voice of Allen startled him but gave Allen a cold stare instead. Allen just glared back with a smile. The very same smile that hid everything away from everyone. "Ready?"
"Stupid moyashi. Keeping me waiting."
"It's Allen. Lets start with that. Al-len!"
"Mo-ya-shi." Kanda pronounce instead making Allen frown. But he strolled away. "Oi. Moyashi."
"What place do you want to eat at? Olive Garden? Red Lobster? Fast food?" He questions to Kanda.
"Does it matter? Why don't we eat at the movie theaters?" Kanda asked. Allen shrugged. "Unless you hate their food there?" Allen laughed. He didn't hate the food. He just hate the cost there. So expensive. Four dollars for a drink when he could get it for a dollar somewhere else.
"Nah. I guess the atmosphere." Allen smiled again. His silver hair glitter as the sun disappears within minutes from the sky. Soon the clouds spitted the moon out too. Turning to face the blue hair man, his heart flinches. That look. The same look as nine years ago. The look was innocence yet full of knowledge and life.
"That's stupid." Was all he said. He wanted to say more. He wanted to hold him. But couldn't. He was a classmate that needed bonding for school. But Allen made it out of his way to hang out with Kanda. How could he take Allen into his protection? Allen was standing but his frail body will fall soon.
"No, it isn't." Allen said. " I don't know then. But eating in theaters doesn't seem proper to me. When I go with Lenalee or Lavi, we don't eat. They usually cook." Allen explained. It was true but he doesn't understand why he's telling the Japanese this. It wasn't like he could care. No, it was more like he wanted to tell and talk about his past. The man was easy to talk too.
"Che. So you want to cook? Or where do you want to eat? Just choose a fucking place."
"We don't have to eat." Allen concluded. It wasn't like he was hungry or on dyer need for food. He was never hungry at night these days. "It's not-"
"Now the moyashi has an eating disorder? Just whatever place you want right now." Kanda cut in.
"I don-"
"Then eat." Kanda order. He knew forcing Allen to eat won't solve a thing. The boy probably won't eat. If he wasn't hungry then what?" He didn't know.
"I'm not hungry though. And I don't have a disorder. I just don't want to eat." Allen explains. Kanda didn't want to believe him but he had no proof. "Come on. Movie starts in thirty minutes. I guess fast food then." Allen smiled, getting a shrug from Kanda, he take the answer as a yes.
The rest of the night was the same routine. Talking turns to arguing, and back to silence. And suddenly as some one had hit repeat, everything starts again. The movie was the only time they stayed quiet but in the end, they ditch the last 20 minutes of the movie. They stayed in the park fighting and occasionally talk about the day. But Kanda was being stubborn and didn't want to lose while Allen didn't understand him.
The moon soon light the park again. Since this was the farthest park, no street light were here. The two looked around in the late night. The farthest and oldest. Yet it was familiar to both as a childhood place. Silence was among them still. Something they barely had tonight. Kanda looked at Allen. His silver eyes were looking up at the stars. His white hair stood out like neon lights. His pale skin blend in with the night. He seem he was going to break any second but Allen had a strong expression. The one who didn't need protection but looks frail. When Allen smiled, he pointed out a constellation. His body lite up of happiness. He was a walking candle. That was the closest Kanda could think off. A candle could be knock down and burnt till it was gone but it will stay together unless a strong force pulls it apart. The candle was Allen, the fire is his will and the wax is his life. The fire was burning strongly and his life was being drained. But Allen is brightly burning still. Looking away Kanda sighed.
It's so quiet. Allen thought . Looking at Kanda, his face was making a scowl. Allen smiled and pointed to a constellation he just found. Not realizing it, he had started to study Kanda's face. The one who carries burden was printed on his face. He would had mock him of that but he didn't. Carrying burdens isn't fun but necessary sometimes. His tall figure could be seen in the darkness. But apathy sat down. Opening his mouth to speak but his ring tone shut up him. Not bothering to check who it was, he hanged up.
"Baka moyashi. Why did you hang up? That could habe been-" The cell began to ring again. Allen pulled his cell out and look to see it was Cross. Narrowing his eyes he picked up.
"Where are you idiot son?" Cross demanded.
"With Kanda at the park." Hearing Cross blow out smoke, Allen sighed again. He knew what time it was. Eleven pm. The time he had to go back home. From Eleven pm to Six am he had to be home.
"Come home. You know the rules." And just like that he hanged up.
"See." Kanda stated in a matter in fact tone. Allen looked away and Kanda notice his ad look. But he couldn't place why Allen looked so sad. Maybe confusion too. "Let's go before Cross won't shut up." On the way home, Kanda notice that Allen was stiff and quiet. It seem he didn't want to walk home with Kanda for some reason. Stopping at the apartment complex entrance, Allen turned around and smiled. A fake smile.
"Kanda. I see you tomorrow." Rolling his wheel chair to the elevator, Allen didn't look back up to see Kanda leave.
okay.....how was it? alot of mistakes right? um, i reread it like five times but you know me and spelling and grammar. they don't go on the same sentence.
While I was writing this my favorite fictionpress writer(my heart is in ohio) which isn't on fictionpress anymore updates. So yeh, i'm happy b/c i want more. I love her story Chemistry.
sorry again to my beta reader if I didnt get a email back from you and I updated by accident.
EDIT: I just spent about another hour going over and over this story for mistakes. hahaha...I didn't use MS last time since I was doing it by hand and I typed it on a blank document here so I couldn't see if i had many spelling mistakes(I actually had alot when I copy and pasted it on MS) XD...sorry....
happy holidays anyways
plz review!!!!!!!!!! next chapter is goin to see be show well it's reviewed. since I can make the story go really sour or just plain bittersweet.
