He awoke to another beautiful Thessian morning. He turned to find himself the sole occupant of the bed. He rolled out of bed and adjusted himself through his pajama pants. He went in search of Liara. Voices could be heard as he moved down the hall toward the dining room. The walls were lined with a collection of holos of family, friends, and former crew members. The sound of familiar voices and the memories the holos invoked gave him a sense of happiness.

"It's time." Thane's voice always reminded him of the sound of a stick running along a fence.

"I know." The sadness in Liara's voice sent a chill up his spine. He'd heard it a few times in the past few months.

He entered the room and all eyes turned in his direction. The sadness in Liara's voice was reflected on all the faces of the room. A dull ache started to creep into his chest. He recognized it as fear. It was his constant companion for years. Fear he would fail, that someone would die, or that he might not keep a promise.

"Why the long faces?" He entered his Commander Façade, keeping his voice light.

"It's time for you to go, skipper." Ashley's voice reflected the sadness of her features.

"I have no plans to go anywhere, Ash." He felt the fear in his chest spread into his right arm.

Liara stood and embraced him. He considered he was having a heart attack, what he thought was fear was actually pain.

"Its okay skipper, I still don't regret a thing." The pain was moving throughout his body. It was like the pain was caused by his blood itself. He could hear it rushing in his ears. When the dull ache reached his head he remembered something.

"It's okay Commander. I don't regret a thing."

Suddenly there was a tremor and he could see a crack in the ceiling. A single black jagged line in the pristine white ceiling, he couldn't stop staring at it.

"I will return to the ocean, know that I will pray for you Commander." Thane's voice seemed to be coming from the end of a very long tunnel.

"He was praying for you." Another tremor and the crack extended.

He tightened his grip on Liara, "What's going on?"

"Delaying your return could be problematic. It has to be you."

"Someone else might have gotten it wrong."

Another tremor and the crack ran along the entire ceiling. The pain in his head became overwhelming. He released his hold upon Liara and fell to his knees. He cradled his head in both of his hands. He felt Liara's hand upon his shoulder. The pain reminded him of Eden Prime. It didn't take long for the realization to hit him. These were his memories. Thane died, so did Mordin. Shepard was convinced he was losing his mind. He heard Liara's gentle voice.

"You are not losing your mind. You must go and so you must remember."

The flood gates opened and the world shuttered. The reaper invasion of earth, Liara on Mars, Garrus on Palaven, Mordin on Sur'Kesh, his death on Tachunka, Thane's sacrifice on the Citadel, the entire reaper war and finally the beam on Earth. The memories stopped until suddenly the ceiling collapsed and dissolved into smoke and ash in the red laser beam of Harbinger.

The world dissolved until he found himself running toward the beam. He wanted to stop, but was trapped in the memory. He was reliving the beam run.

In the chaos of battle watching people disintegrate around him and Makos explode. Suddenly a Mako was hurtling through the air towards him. He slid just in time to stop before it crashed down to earth. He stopped, taking cover behind the destroyed vehicle.

He looked back and watched Liara and Vega running towards him. Another Mako flew overhead toward his squad mates. He instinctively moved to run toward them. He was stopped by the warm rush of dark energy; he looked up to see Liara push him back into safety. In the same instant she barely avoided being crushed by the vehicle.

In the next moment a red beam was scorching the earth in front of where the pair struggled to regain their feet. She reached out, he could read her lips, "I love…" she was gone. He looked away and felt a burning pain in his chest.

His eyes burned with tears as he looked back, to find a crater where Liara and Vega had been. The pain had turned to rage. She was promise that made him fight. He'd lost his happiness in a moment. He turned and ran.

He'd lost his footing and was hit by the red beam. He was ready to give up and die. Then he remembered the little blue children he'd promised. He moved despite the pain. He stood up, pistol in hand and stumbled towards the beam.

The rest of the memory passed quickly, killing a marauder, the illusive man, and finally the child. He remembered the choice. He remembered the anger. He didn't want to control or combine. He wanted to destroy. The reapers had destroyed everything that mattered to him. He didn't care about the galaxy in that moment. He killed them all because they killed Liara and his hope for a future.