AN: thanks for all the good reviews. I'm glad you liked it. And I'm with you on the stapling myself and stuff. I'd be way to scared to do it. I did it once on accident and it was not fun. I really enjoy writing this story. Most of the ones I read don't really focus on this kind of stuff so I thought it would be a good idea. But I have to admit, I'm not normally a very drepressing person so writing it is hard which is why it takes a while for me to get the chapters out.
SakuraKxSyaoranL: I love your review. I've never gotten one that long before and it makes me happy. So, thank you. And I was worried that the format of chapter one would turn people away, but I was just hoping they'd read until the end and see that it's not all like that, like you said.
Emerald eyes blinked open. Subtle light streamed through the closed window, flittering lightly across her face. She had barely managed to sit up before something heavy slammed into her sending her toppling back onto the bed.
"Oh! You are just too cute! I was worried that I was going to get some weird creepy roommate and have to put up with her depressing emo-ness. But look at you. You're so adorable!" The strange girl currently on top of her proceeded to pinch her cheeks and hug her much to her bewilderment.
"Umm…excuse me, but who are you?" Sakura backed up a little as the girl stopped what she was doing to look into her face. A soft smile took over her features as she hurriedly jumped off the bed and stood before it.
"I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Tomoyo. I'm your roommate." Her amethyst eyes looked down at Sakura with warmth and excitement. Sakura took Tomoyo's outstretched hand into her own, giving in return her own welcoming smile.
"It's very nice to meet you Tomoyo, my name is Sakura." Again she was hugged by the girl, feeling the air escape her lungs.
"You are just so cute!" Letting her go, Sakura gulped in some much appreciated air before giving her a weary smile.
"Umm…thanks." Sakura looked away with a small smile. Tomoyo only thought she was that much cuter when she acted shy, but refrained herself from hugging her again. She didn't want to scare her away after all. A few moments passed in silence as Sakura stared down at her sheets and Tomoyo continued to watch her. The silence was broken, however, when Sakura's stomach gave off a loud growl.
Giggling slightly at the blushing Sakura, Tomoyo flipped her long ebony hair over her shoulder. "Care to accompany me to breakfast, Sakura?" Nodding slightly, both girls began to get dressed.
Tomoyo and Sakura were walking down the many hallways on their way to the cafeteria. Both wearing bright smiles and talking endlessly.
"So you design clothes?" Sakura's innocent emerald eyes looked at the other girl out of the corner of her eyes.
"Yup. I've been doing it for about three years now. It keeps my mind off things." She coolly replied, waving to a girl as they passed.
"That's so cool Tomoyo. You're really amazing." Tomoyo looked over and gave her a warm smile.
"Thank you Sakura. Do you have any hobbies?" Sakura looked up in thought. After a moment, she sadly shook her head.
"Nope. Not really. I use to write, but not so much anymore." They had finally reached the cafeteria and Tomoyo pushed open the doors.
"Really? How come?" But her question was never answered as Sakura suddenly tensed. Tomoyo took a few more steps before realizing Sakura had stopped. "Something wrong?" Sakura could see the concern on her face.
"Umm...no." Shrugging, Tomoyo pulled Sakura through the crowded room to the lunch line. Green eyes scanned over the mass of people surrounding her. Their ages varied, as did their looks. Her eyes quickly flickered to her wrist, making sure the sleeve was properly covering her arm. They had just reached the counter and grabbed their trays when a loud voice rang through the room.
"HEY! GIVE IT BACK!" A small smirk stretched over Tomoyo's face while Sakura looked around in confusion. Everyone had seemed to stop and stare toward the end of the line. A girl with long black hair pulled into two pigtails and sharp red eyes stood there, glaring fiercely at the older woman in front of her.
"Meilin, I told you, you can only have one soda per meal." She seemed frustrated with the teen before her.
"Ah come on! What does it freakin' matter?" her glare turned to an angry pout as her voice died down. On her tray were eggs, bacon, and two sodas.
"It just does. Now put it back." The girl clearly heard the warning in her woman's voice and put one of the cans back, murmuring a few colorful words under her breath.
"Whatever." And with that she walked off into the crowd and out of Sakura's view. The people around her began to move again, pushing her along. Deciding it best not to ask, Sakura quickly moved down the line, filling her tray.
Tomoyo lead her over to a table near the back of the room. Upon arrival, she noticed the girl from earlier sitting there with another girl. Ruby eyes turned as they approached and looked Sakura up and down.
"Hi guys. Sakura, this is Meilin and Chiharu." Tomoyo gestured to the two girls. Meilin looked her over one more time before breaking into a smile. It wasn't necessarily an inviting smile, but Sakura took comfort in it none the less. The other girl, Chiharu, wore her light brown hair in braids on the sides of her head. Her kind brown eyes shined as she smiled and waved.
"Hi. I'm Sakura, Tomoyo's new roommate. It's a pleasure to meet you." Both girls nodded as she and Tomoyo took their seats. Meilin emptied the last of her soda from her can before throwing in the general direction of the trash.
"So, Saku, what do you think of this wonderful little place so far?" Sakura gave a soft smile at the nickname, it was the first she had ever had, except from her brother.
"Well, I haven't seen much of it, but I was able to see a few classes yesterday. From what I saw, it's a nice place, although the teachers all look like they…how should I say it… have something stuck up their ass and are unable to get it out." Her voice was soft and innocent, greatly contrasting her words. Tomoyo and Chiharu simply raised an eyebrow at what she said. Meilin, however, replaced her judging look and broke into a large grin.
"Well, Sakura, I like you. You've got the weirdest attitude I've seen in a long time, but that's what makes you interesting. I think getting to know you is going to be very entertaining." Her grin turned to a smirk as she cracked open her second soda, balancing on the back legs of her chair. Sakura eyed the can but figured it better not to ask.
"See Saku? If Meilin likes you then you'll have no troubles fitting in here." Tomoyo pointed out in a matter of fact way.
"So, Sakura, where are you from?" Chiharu leaned forward, eager for the answer. Sakura could already tell that she was more boisterous and outgoing than her looks perceived.
"I'm from a town called Tomoeda. It's only a couple of hours from here, but it's a nice small town. It's really pretty when the Sakura blossoms come." Her emerald eyes seemed to dance at the memory.
"Sounds nice. I grew up in the city, not many trees there." Chiharu sighed.
"That sounds beautiful Sakura. I myself grew up in a small town also." Commented Tomoyo.
"Oh please. You might have grown up in a small town, but you lived in a mansion." A small smirk appeared on Meilin's face while Tomoyo's smile turned to a pout.
"I wouldn't be talking if I were you. If I remember correctly your parents were some of the richest people in Hong Kong." Tomoyo jeered.
"Hong Kong?" Sakura directed her question to Meilin.
"Yup. That's where I was born. They only sent me to Japan because of this place." She replied with a bright smile.
"Wow. You came here all by yourself? You're really brave Meilin." Her comment surprised the red-eyed girl a little.
"Thanks…but it's not that far. I took a plane so it probably took less time for me to get here than you." For once it seemed as though the energy and vigor that emanated from her had dissipated leaving a sweet and shy girl. Chiharu and Tomoyo noticed this and seemed impressed with Sakura's impact.
Meilin threw her empty can at the nearby trash and missed, breaking the silence. She again, picked up another and opened it. Sakura opened her mouth to say something when a peaceful chime sounded through out the room. Almost immediately the people around her began to disperse.
"Come on Sakura. It's time for class to begin. I'll show you where to go." Not even giving her time to respond, Tomoyo took hold of her wrist and dragged her out, waving cheerily to the other two.
"Thanks Tomoyo, but I know where to go." Sakura had to jog to keep up with Tomoyo's brisk walk.
"You sure?" She asked. She didn't want her to get lost in the building.
"Yes, I'm sure. I don't want to be of any inconvenience to you." Her green eyes connected with Tomoyo's dark ones before giving a small smile as she walked in the direction of her class.
"But you're not…" The black haired girl whispered as she watched the other girl walk away.
Sakura had been staring out the window for a good portion of the morning. The things they were taught were things she had learned years ago. The teacher was dull, the class was boring, and the students…well, they were strangely void. No one spoke much and as far as she could tell, no one did much of anything.
Her face slowly turned forward. The teacher had finished giving the lesson and was reading to the class. Sighing, Sakura was glad she only had one class left. Because of the 'mental conditions' of the students, each class was only about half an hour long, but it still seemed like forever. And technically, they only had three classes a day. Each hour period was cut in half as to not put too much stress on one subject at a time. So today, Sakura had to endure two separate math classes, with two different teachers.
Finally, the soft ringing of the bell sounded and the teacher got up to leave. Another thing that Sakura found, if not convenient, then weird was that the teachers moved and the students didn't. Of course, as she had noticed during the day, a few of the more stable students were allowed to move from one class to another and join that class.
An example of said stable student was the boy who had just entered. Her eyes trailed him as he took a seat a few chairs down from her. His head, which had been facing forward, slowly turned in her direction. His eyes met hers and he gave a friendly wave.
Sakura waved back but couldn't help but think that almost chestier smile on his face seemed a bit, cold.
Not bothering to pay attention, the girl again stared blankly out the window. The incessant droning of the teacher began to fade. She let herself close off from the world around her and allowed her mind to drift off to a more peaceful place.
Sakura lazily lifted her head off of the table. Looking up, she was met with stunning midnight blue eyes. Jumping back in surprise, Sakura recognized the boy from earlier.
"I'm sorry if I scared you." The boy leaned back on the desk he had been sitting on. His navy blue hair fell over his face, shadowing the deep blue of his eyes. The thin framed glasses and tall lean stature gave him the look that most girls at her old school fawned over.
"No that's ok, umm…" Sakura gestured emptily with her hand, not knowing the boys name.
"Eriol. Eriol Hiiragizawa." His smile was still there, still curved up, but still somehow unhappy.
"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hiiragizawa-kun. I'm Kinomoto Sakura. Just call me Sakura." She offered her hand and he gladly took it. But, instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and gently kissed the back.
Sakura would have blushed if it had not been for the way he was looking at her. She had seen this scene in movies many times. Each time, when the guy looked up, he'd either have a passionate, polite, or seductive look on his face. But Eriol, his was the same as before, never wavering.
"Then I request that you call me Eriol." He released her hand and picked up his bag from the table beside hers. Her eyes drifted from him to the empty classroom.
"Umm...Eriol, where is everyone?" He stopped his actions and looked around the room.
"Well, it would appear that they all left." Emerald eyes rolled as she sent a glare to the dark haired boy.
"Yes, I can see that. But where did they go?"
"That, Sakura, I would not know. All I know is that when class ended, they left." He strode back over to her, his tall figure casting a small shadow over her.
"How long ago was that?" Taking a glance at his watch, Eriol was quick to answer.
"About three and a half hours ago." His voice was calm and almost monotone as he spoke.
"Three and a half hours?! I slept that long? Why didn't you wake me up?" Sakura gave the boy an accusing look as she stood and gathered her things.
"You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn't want to wake you." Swinging her bag over her shoulder she looked out the window again, noticing the almost setting sun. Her stomach gave off a low rumbling from having missed lunch.
"Well, why are you still here?" The boy in question paused for a second, as though considering his answer.
"I wanted to ask you if you'd have lunch with me." A small smile spread over Sakura's face.
"Well, I'm thinking that lunch is over, but I'd be happy to have dinner with you." With a nod of agreement, both walked out of the room and toward the cafeteria.
Sakura's point of view
We had finished eating a while ago, and we were now walking through the building, just talking. Our subjects were jumping from one thing to another, but I didn't mind. At least if he was here, I wasn't alone. It seemed as though whenever I was alone, I would do things I'm not suppose to.
"Eriol, these sketches are amazing. They look so life like." He had shown me his sketch book. It really was amazing. Everything in it held such detail and warmth that I had to wonder how this boy who always seemed so distant could possibly capture it.
"Thank you Sakura, I appreciate your praise." But he didn't look like he appreciated it. He never looked like…anything.
My eyes wondered back to the pages of the book, turning them one at a time. One picture near the back caught my eye. It was of a younger boy with spiky black hair. His smile stretched from one side of his face to the other as he clung to, what she assumed to be, a younger Eriol, who had the same bubbling smile on his face. But this smile, unlike the one he had now, was genuine. You could see the happiness he felt and it radiated off the page.
"Who are these two?" He looked over my shoulder and down at the page.
"That's me and my brother five years ago." I glanced back at the page and then to his face. There was such a difference in it, I just didn't get it.
"Your brother? Where is he now?" I stopped as we reached my room and handed him back his book.
"He's dead." The same smile stayed on his face. But this time, it sent a chill up my spine. What kind of person can keep that smile on their face, unwavering, while talking about their dead brother? It just felt so cold and alone. 'I wonder if he feels all alone too.'
Before I could respond, the door behind me flew open to show a flustered Tomoyo. As soon as her amethyst eyes settled on me, I was embraced in a hug with her yelling about how she looked everywhere for me.
"Saku! Oh my god! Where were you?" Tomoyo held me at arms length, searching my face. She had been worried about me. Eriol's deep voice caught her attention and she turned to look at him.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one who kept Sakura busy this whole time." Tomoyo visibly blushed and turned her attention to the floor. "Well, I'd best be going now. Goodnight, Sakura." With that he turned and left, leaving the hall in an eerie silence.
Tomoyo dragged me inside the room and set me on the bed. She still seemed a little off, but her cheerful demure was back.
"Saku, I told Meilin that after you came back, we'd go over to her and Chiharu's room. Wanna go?" She seemed so happy I couldn't tell her no. I nodded in agreement earning myself a hug from her. Leaping off the bed she went into the bathroom to get ready.
She came out a few minutes later, looking as preppy as ever. "Ready to go?" She bounced happily over to the door.
"I need to change and stuff. You go ahead ok?" She nodded, and walked out, yelling their room number over her shoulder. Her absence was like a trigger to my mind. I was all alone, and I already said what I do when that happens. My eyes traveled from a glass of water on the window sill to Tomoyo's sewing kit.
It was dark now, the only light coming from the open bathroom door. I sat down on the carpeted floor in front of the sewing kit. Not taking a moment to even let myself think, I opened the container and withdrew the small box of needles.
Normal point of view
Working carefully, Sakura pulled the sleeve of her shirt up her arm. The marks from the staples were beginning to fade, but the burn was still prominent. Gliding one smooth finger down her scared skin, she pulled a thin needle out from its red case.
Lifting her arm up, she let it fall heavily on her arm, the needle diving into her. Taking it out, she drove it into her again and again until she had a thin line going from the top of her arm to her elbow. Blood dripped onto her jeans, staining them. Getting up, she made her way over to the glass on the windowsill. Fishing out the lemon with her fingers, she held it up to her face for a moment.
No emotion masked her face as she lowered the lemon to her arm and pushed it against the skin. The sour juices ran down her arm and pooled inside the fresh cut. A burning and searing sensation rippled through her body as a cold and cynical smile crept over her face. The blood only poured faster out of her as she added more juice to it.
Shaking slightly from exhilaration, she bandaged her arm with a thin gauze and changed out of her now stained clothes. Taking a final look in the full length mirror in the closet, she set on her smiling face and left through the door, the soft clicking sound resounding behind her.
People always have something to hide. That's why they lie or cheat or sometimes even run away. I understand that. Even I have secrets. I choose to believe them, all the lies. But, what I don't understand is when they don't say anything. I can always tell when someone is upset or hurt and angry. But, I wonder if I'm the only one. Can no one else tell, or are they simply doing exactly what I'm doing? Are they just pretending not to notice? Somehow, the eyes always betray their owner. They tell secrets they always swore to keep. Can they understand their subtle words, while I can't? Can they tell if their silently thanking or suppressing their hatred? If their crying or screaming? It scares me to think that a single thing can be so expressive. But what scares me even more, are what stories my eyes are telling.
AN: and that's it. That one was longer and had more character interaction so it was harder to write. It didn't turn out the way i wanted but it's still pretty good. Hopefully the next chapter will be coming out soon.
