Prompt:
Okay, this is a photo prompt so I can't really show you…but it involves a man and a woman in a bubble-filled bathtub with their arms wrapped around one another.
He keeps waiting for the tears. He's been waiting for them since they were sitting in the ER two days ago and the doctor was using phrases like "spontaneous abortion" and "sometimes the body rejects a pregnancy" and "it couldn't be helped" while his eyes darted back and forth between Puck and Rachel.
He expects the tears once she's back at home in bed because she's cried over much, much less. She sobs over songs and books and movies. He's never seen a woman so emotionally attached to fictional characters (even animated ones) but by now, he's used to it. His girl cries over everything. So when they get back home and she walks past the tiny room that used to be their "music room" but had been cleaned out and prepped to be painted for a nursery, he expects the tears. Instead, she curls up into a ball, turns on the TV, and tells him that she wants to sleep. He just stares at her dumbly for a few heartbeats before kissing her forehead and then silently closes the bedroom door. While she's sleeping, he grabs the phone and breaks the news to his mom and her dads.
Later that night, he catches her watching one of those shows on TLC about parents and their new baby and he knows that this is it. This is when the waterworks are going to start. So he doesn't know what to think when she just stares sadly at the TV and then comments, "Their nursery is beautiful."
Two days later, he is still waiting for her to break down. He has to go back to work while Rachel stays home and he hates it. He worries about her all day but every time he calls her, she assures him that she's fine. He's not sure how she's fine when he's definitely not fine. He's absolutely torn up that she lost the baby. They'd only known she was pregnant for a few weeks and after the initial shock wore off, they were both ecstatic. After three years of marriage, he was ready to be someone's dad (for keeps this time).
Puck is really surprised when he gets home from work and Rachel isn't even there. The house is spotless so he knows she spent a lot of time cleaning, which she tends to do when she's upset. But when she arrives just a few minutes after him, she has shopping bags hanging off her arms and a smile on her face. She kisses him and says, "Santana insisted that shopping therapy would do the trick and I think she was right. I got the most incredible pair of shoes, Noah. You'll love them! Oh, and I bought you a new plaid shirt." She gives him a brilliant smile and then flits off to the bedroom to hang up her purchases. All he can do is stared at her, confused, as she retreats.
That night, Puck lies in bed and worries. He hasn't seen her shed a single tear and he remembers vividly how much she cried when she told him she was pregnant. She wept happy tears for nearly an hour and couldn't stop talking about how genetically gifted their child was bound to be. Why is she not more upset? His own heart is aching for the baby, for his wife, and even for himself. He just can't figure out how she's staying so composed and it makes for a sleepless night.
When he wakes up and heads to work, he's in a shitty mood. He's relieved that he hadn't told anybody at work about the baby because he doesn't have to endure those sad looks from everybody. And it's none of their fucking business anyway. But after he nearly punches one of the draftsmen for asking him an innocuous question about the plans for a remodel, Puck decides to get the hell outta the office. After buying a hotdog from a food cart (because they're good and he doesn't care if they're covered in rat germs or whatever people like to freak out about when it comes to the sanitation habits of New York City street vendors), he walks around Central Park. There's something about the crunch of leaves beneath his feet coupled with the sounds of the traffic on 5th Avenue that is relaxing to him. He thinks about Rachel and how, even though they've been together since they were 18, he loves her now more than ever. And he lets himself imagine, for just a brief second, how amazing it would have been to see Rachel all big and round with his kid. His chest tightens when he sits down on a bench because it fuckin' sucks to have to go through this.
As the chilly November breeze blows across his face, he lets himself think about what it would have been like. Their kid would have been so perfect. He knows that Rachel would've pushed the kid to excel early and Puck would have to snag her around the waist, soothe her when she squawked and then dial her back, convincing her to un-enroll their two-year-old from French lessons or some other crazy shit that she deemed "necessary for proper development." But they'd make it work because they're fucking awesome together. He smiles at the thought of Rachel attempting to send their baby off to singing lessons before the kid could even talk. And then, after staring out at the skyscrapers until he's not really thinking about anything at all, he heads home.
When he lets himself inside their tiny apartment, Rachel is nowhere to be found. He thinks she's out again until he hears the slight splash of water coming from the closed bathroom door. He slowly presses it open and sees her sitting in the tub. She has her knees pulled up against her chest and her arms are wrapped around her legs. She's surrounded by bubbles and there are tears streaming down her face as she stares out into the bathroom, her eyes unseeing.
His heart thumps loudly and he timidly says, "Babe?"
She jumps slightly, startled, and then meets his eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I'm sorry I lost the baby, Noah. I know how excited you were."
"Rach," he begins. His voice is pained but he doesn't care. "Rachel, baby, it's okay. It's not your fault." He hates to see her cry but at the same time, he's relieved.
Rachel shakes her head and looks away as more tears slide down her cheeks. Puck watches her for a moment and then slips his shoes off. Wordlessly, he undresses quickly and walks over to the old, claw-footed tub. She scoots up so that he can slide in behind her and as soon as the warm, soapy water envelops him, he pulls her toward him. But instead of settling against his chest, she turns around and climbs into his lap, her hands clutching the back of his neck. His arms slide around her waist and when she drops her cheek against the top of his head, she whispers, "I know it wasn't planned but I really wanted that baby, Noah. I wanted so much to meet the amazing person that we created together."
He cinches his arms tighter around her, his lips brushing against her wet skin, and promises, "We'll try again, baby. You know we will. We're Puckermans, babe. We'll try every fuckin' day until it happens again. We got this. You know how good we are at trying."
Rachel lets out a little half-sob, half-laugh and tightens her grip on him. She whispers that she loves him and when he tells her that he loves her, too, his voice is thick with emotion. He doesn't have the power to bring back the baby or take away her pain but the one thing he can do is hold her. He's got strong arms and all the time in the world. And no, hugging each other in the middle of a soapy bath won't mend their broken hearts but it's a start.
