CH.3: Honor and farewell

Mulan couldn't sleep…how could she after knowing that tomorrow would be the last time she would see Merida? Getting out of bed she throws on a robe and climbs out the window and makes her way to the small pool of water she saw not too far from the castle. Stepping into the water she sinks in till her waist is under, her hair falls to her shoulders as she moves her hands back and forth watching the ripple of the water push outwards.

"I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep." Mulan nearly starts normally one who can hear someone from a distance…but alas she was lost in her thoughts so she didn't hear Merida approach.

"M-Merida what are you doing out here…it is late and you should be in bed-." Mulan sounded like a parent there and judging by what little moonlight there was she could see the red head's cheeks turn the same color.

"Yer not my father…besides…if you are out here it must be safe correct?" Mulan couldn't find any argument there and as Merida slips into the water Mulan finds her ripples crashing into hers.

"I take it you can't sleep on account of tomorrow correct?" Mulan can see Merida avoiding her gaze and she moves forward a bit…not too close though. "You have nothing to worry about, your skill with a blade will do you wonders…plus…if you need to fall back and use that bow of yours do so…I imagine no one will judge that as cowardice when you have deadly accuracy."

Mulan found herself entranced by Merida's beauty…the way the sunlight peeked through the canopy of trees making her hair stand out more. It was wrong of her to feel such feelings…especially given her departure when sunlight came as well as the fact that Merida was straight…she must have some boyfriend or betrothed chosen out so when she did become Queen she would marry. It was burning her up inside not knowing.

"I thank you…for everything you have done. My skill with a blade has increased…and tomorrow when I take to the battlefield I will have you to thank for making me that much stronger to survive. I know my father paid you…but if there is anything I can do-."

"Are you seeing anyone?" Mulan blurted out and felt her cheeks darken as she tried looking away but the question was already out there.

"I-I am not seeing anyone…I have been enjoying being single, plus, none of the boys here can handle me." She stated rather proudly and Mulan closed the distance working up the courage to what she had wanted to do since first laying eyes on her. Never had she met someone with a warrior spirit so much as her.

"Have you ever kissed anyone before?" Mulan could tell that Merida was getting weirded out by her questions and yet she did not move.

"The lads are too scared to kiss me…feel I might break their nose if they do. They aren't too far off, but, I suppose another reason is I don't make it easy. I am always on the move…living out my life and doing things I want to do that there is no room for romance. I mean yeah I am open to it but-."

Mulan closes the gap kissing Merida on the lips and seeing her green eyes widen as the kiss is held for maybe a minute. Mulan melts into the kiss and only pulls back figuring that the red head would need to breathe or perhaps time to assess the kiss and what it meant. Opening her eyes she notes Merida placing a finger to her lips.

"What did you do that for?" Merida asked astounded, she did not blame her. "Ye don't just kiss a girl without warning…especially the fact that we are both girls, you…your one of those aren't you?"

"I was in love with a girl…a Princess sometime ago…I was too late in telling her how I felt for she became pregnant with a man's baby. I left…what else could I do…staying just wasn't an option. I realize you just aghast at having your first kiss be with the same sex and I will go now-."

"Now hold up…if I am going to battle tomorrow and you are on your way…I think it is only fair we see how far this goes, don't you think?" Mulan stared at her a bit confusion over her features.

"You mean you want to-?" Mulan was pulled to Merida and as she kissed her she wore a smile melting into her. The two of them were feeding off the other, their kisses filled with unbridled passion that had been set loose on this lonely hour of the night. Mulan held her close feeling their wet bodies below line up perfectly.

"Och…I did not expect to be enjoying this so much," Merida notes as she runs her hands all over Mulan's body and places her strong hands on Mulan's backside.

"You are quite handsy in the moonlit hour aren't you?" Mulan was enjoying the open grope…never having been touched down there before.

"Don't think too much on it…we're just seeing where this takes us and tomorrow we're back to…friends…right?" Mulan liked the idea of being Merida's friend. True it did crush her feelings for her but if she grew attached to her…there was no telling how the Kingdom would react. If Merida became Queen…she would need a King at her side and she wasn't certain DunBroch would allow two Queens.

"Yes…friends…wouldn't have it any other way." She was only saying what Merida wanted to hear. The Princess had a lot on her mind and if she told her how she felt…how she wanted them to be…it would account to nothing in the end.

"That is good to hear…now kiss me already." Merida kisses her with some tongue and the two combat each other in the art of tongue play while their hands roam all around pulling at clothing till they are down to their clothing beneath.

Mulan moves Merida over to the side of the pool of water just up on land placing her hands on her hips and situating herself between her legs. The two of them are lost in the kiss…and tangled up in one another as the night carries on the events of tomorrow weigh heavily on Mulan's mind.


The following morning as the sun peeks through the canopy above them Mulan stretches and finds she is out of the water. Merida is already dressed with some fish cooking over a fire. "I see you finally awoke…glad to see your sense of smell has not abandoned you any."

"Fish for breakfast…brings back memories. Did you sleep any?" Mulan sits up as she looks across the fire at Merida who wears a thoughtful look.

"I slept well as could be…look…about last night, it was fun, but today I go to war and you go back…back to wherever you traveled from. No one is to ever know of this…if word got out people would talk and my father's name could be brought down by it. My clan would be shamed…promise me you will not speak of this?"

Mulan nods her head solemnly, her word was bound by honor and if she broke her word she would be hurting a lot of people. As Merida hands her a stick she bites into the fish and chews thoughtfully. Last night was great…it was her first real connection with someone in what seemed forever. But…no one would ever know of it seemed, she figured, and while that was all good as they did talk about today being just friends…part of her clung desperately to the notion that it wasn't too late.

A horn is heard and Merida gets up finishing up her fish and walks past her. "That is my father's horn…battle is upon us. Well come on…aren't you going to see me off?" She asks excitedly.

"Let me finish up breakfast first…I'll be with you shortly." Mulan watches her leave and as she finishes eating up her food she hears the crunch of a branch behind her. Reaching for her weapon she doesn't have time as the figure places a blade before her neck.

"I take it you were with my daughter…after I hired you to train her." Mulan stiffened hearing the distaste in his voice and she bows her head.

"How long have you been there?" Mulan eyed the sword before it retreated to its owner and stepping into sight with one good leg was King Fergus. His face said it all as he took a seat on one of the logs.

"Long enough. Today is Merida's big day…she joins me in battle…the thing is the supposed numbers of this army are bigger than expected. Merida means a lot to you…doesn't she?" King Fergus gives her a look and she nods her head. "I want you to keep Merida off the battlefield-."

"King Fergus this is your daughter we're talking about…she has been looking forward to this…you had me train her-."

"My daughter does not need to know the cost of going into battle…we both know what it costs as you pointed out. I am not here to judge you on what you and my daughter have done…it is clear you two have settled things on your own-."

"Merida is my friend…she won't forgive me if I do this…I was hoping-." Mulan lets her train of thought trail off as King Fergus just shakes his head.

"There is no future for you here lass…much as you think someday things will change. The way things are now in DunBroch…same sex relations, it just isn't meant to be. Merida will have a lot on her plate as she will soon become Queen…and she needs a King by her side. After you do what you do…I do not think Merida will want you back…so take that as your time to leave. I am sorry it has come to this…but…it is time to go home."

Mulan nods her head and as King Fergus pats her shoulder she can feel her body start to shake. When she knows he is gone she begins to break down crying…holding herself, just to keep from falling over, the pain she had felt the day she had learned of Aurora's pregnancy and being with Phillip…it was starting all over again here with Merida.


The battlefield lay below as the enemy number seemed to stretch on for a bit. Mulan stood up there with Merida whom seemed ready to head down. Her sword was in her sheath and her bow was in her hand. King Fergus's words still rang true in her mind and looking at the girl she had shared sometime with, albeit short…she felt a pang for yesterday.

"My father is giving his speech to his men…and then he will lead the charge. I need to be down there…I need to be by my father's side. Thank you Mulan…for everything…I will cherish our friendship forever."

Mulan closed her eyes and as Merida went to set off she quickly grabbed her around the waist and dragged her down to the ground. Seated on her she goes to pin her wrists to the ground. "I'm sorry Merida…I can't let you go down there."

"Mulan…this is no time for games…my father needs me down there!" Merida struggles against her but Mulan remains steadfast.

"What lies down there…what awaits you is not for you…not now. Listen to me Merida…war is not easy, battles tend to change people…someday you will be Queen and that means leading people through example…to carry on what your father is-."

"Mulan don't make me hurt you!" Merida knees her and Mulan lets up and as she gets to her feet Merida has her bow trained on her. The arrow fires with a twang but Mulan is able to slice the arrow with her sword.

"You are not the first to fire an arrow at me…and if this is what will keep you alive I will do all in my power to keep you up here." Mulan holds steady and Merida draws out her sword.

"I will be on that field…one way or another!" And so the two fought…each fighting against one another, not as friends…but as foes. Mulan's heart is breaking as she fights Merida…knowing that what King Fergus said was coming to pass. The clang of steel filled her ears and as Merida slips through her defense she slices at her shoulder. Wincing a bit she tries to protect her shoulder and slices at Merida's cheek.

"Please stop…Merida…they are already heading out!" Mulan saw the desperation flash in her eyes and again the two fought. Their blades singing a song quite sour and full of loss…each swing costing her a bit of her heart. Both of them were stubborn warriors…neither would let up while the other fought.

Mulan had trained her well…a little too well. Perhaps also the fact that she did not wish to harm Merida made her attacks less threatening. Merida once again came at her and sliced at her knee causing her to fall down. Merida stood now at the edge of the peak watching as the battle unfolded. Mulan held her knee and as she stood with pain wrought on her face she saw Merida shaking.

"Look at them…all of them fighting together…and here I stand just watching. Look what you have cost me…are you really that selfish?" Mulan said nothing…not without betraying the trust King Fergus put in her. And then there he stood…fighting with sword in hand. Never had she seen someone sport bravery quite like him. And yet then there stood a foe closing in.

"No…" Mulan saw Merida reach for her bow and as she fired…the arrow did not stop the attack and her father fell. The resounding cry was felt in her soul…in her heart. She reached for her but Merida turned on her.

"This is your fault…you kept me up here…I could have saved him!" Merida kept her hand on her sword and tears rolled down her cheek.

"Merida it was not my fault…you have to understand I-." Mulan looked away and Merida just shook her head.

"It doesn't matter anymore now does it? He is dead…the man who brought you here is dead. I want you to go…did you hear me I want you gone!" She yells at her.

Mulan sheaths her sword and slowly pulls away. Merida is left there crying and Mulan says a silent goodbye before leaving. In heart she had loved twice…and both times she had found herself alone. It was hard to say where her path would lead her now…but perhaps someday she would see Aurora again…and maybe Merida would forgive her.

THE END

Authors note: That ending was hard to write, bitter and sweet it reminded me of some of the saddest scenes in television shows or movie. Perhaps sometime I will write a happier tale. Not all femslash ends happy. Tara and Willow on Buffy…to this day a tragic turn of events where they break up and as they just get back together…bam. Thing is Merida and Mulan had a lot stacked against them from the beginning…and much of what King Fergus says is true. For Mulan to have stayed…it isn't like change comes right away…and there would be many opposed to it. DunBroch needs a King and Queen…though when Merida decides remain to be seen. This story was a slight deviation on a season five plot where there was supposed to be femslash, but aside from Mulan going off with Ruby to look for wolves…so far nothing. So hopefully this will tide one over. My next tale is called Kiss of the night and continues the three chapter way, for now I leave you with this note…sometimes love is doomed…but further down the line…love can be saved.