After a long restless night Raph sat on the couch watching TV. Well, staring at the screen was more like it. His eyes were open but he wasn't seeing the pictures on the screen. He had somehow hoped last night had been a bad dream, but he awoke this morning to find it was all to real. Leo wasn't coming home. He looked around the lair, he was the only one up and the silence just made it worse for the brooding, green eyed turtle. He needed to do something, anything.
He got up and went to the punching bag. Maybe that would help. He hoped it would but wasn't sure if he could beat this demon away. He started working on the bag, hitting it, kicking it, anything to release the pain he felt. How many times had Leo held the bag for him? How mant times had he held it for Leo, the few times he did want to smack it around. Now they would never be able to hold the bag for each other again. They would never be able to spar together, joke with one another.
Raph thought back at all the times he had givin Leo a hard time, arguing over his choices, not listing and doing what he thought best, undermining his training attempts. The teasing. Lame-o-nardo he had called him, Splinter jr, teacher's pet. All Leo had wanted was to keep them safe and be a good leader to them and he did nothing but give him a hard time. He punched the bag some more, harder this time. The bag was swinging wildly now but Raph didn't care.
Never once did he tell his brother how much Raph needed him, how much the others needed him. Leo was the best suited to lead them. Raph had tried once and failed miseably. He finally understood how hard it had been for Leo after that incident with Snakeweed, but had never told him. Had never given his brother any respect for his efforts and now it was to late. He would never get that chance. He would never be able to tell Leo anything ever again. He hit the bag so hard that it flew off of it's stand. His inner rage and anguish still not satisfied he went to throw a punch at the wall that would have broken his fingers.
As his hand flew towards the wall Raph braced for the impact. He needed to feel something, something besides anger and grief. Pain would be a welcome distraction. Right before his hand hit the wall Raph felt something on his wrist, something that gripped him firm but gentle and stopped his hand from shattering on the wall. Immeadiatly he felt calm, his anger and grief flowing out of him. 'I understand, Raph.' he seemed to hear, then the feeling on his arm was gone.
Raph stood there shaking, trying to clear his head. What had just happened? Confused and bewildered he didn't notice Donnie come into the room. "Hey Raph." He said quietly as he walked up to his brother. "How are you holding up?"
Raph tried to get himself under control, he pushed his confused state aside and concentrated on his brother. His family needed him right now. "Good as can be expected. You?"
Donnie just sighed and Raph could see the tears in his choclate eyes. "I don't know..I didn't sleep to good. I just couldn't."
"I know buddy. I couldn't either."
Donnie wiped his eyes and looked at the broken punching bag. "I'll go fix that for you."
"Nah, it's ok. I broke I'll fix it, that and I need something to do. I can't just sit here and do nothing. Why don't you go check on Mikey. I haven't seen him yet this morning."
Donnie nodded and went to look for their little brother and Raph went to go get the stuff he would need to rerig up the punching bag. As he walked he looked at his wrist, he still couldn't understand what had happened. He just shook his head and walked on, his overloaded mind was just playing tricks on him.
.
.
Donnie was just about to knock on Mikey's door when it opened. His little brother looked horrible, his eyes were bloodshot and Donnie could see the dried tear streaks on his face. "Oh, Mikey..." He wrapped an arm around his little brother. "Come on, let's make some breakfast." Mikey just nodded. Donnie hated to see him this way, of all of them he seemed to be taking it the hardest. Donnie had heard him crying last night and had tried to go into his room but found his door locked. His knocking had gone unheard, he had sighed and gone to bed himself, listening to Mikey as he struggled to come to terms with what had happened. Finally, what had seemed hours later, his little brother had grown quiet. Donnie had grown very concerned that this might break the usually fun loving turtle.
Even now Mikey just quietly walked along side his brother. His usual bubbly chatty self hidden behind what he had faced last night. They walked into the kitchen and Mikey just sat down at the table and put his head in his hands.
"What do you want this morning? Eggs?" Donnie asked him.
"I'm not really hungry."
Donnie sighed and went to sit by his brother. "I know it's hard. I miss him too-" Donnie choked off as he started to tear up. He wiped the tears away. "But we need to eat. We have to keep our strength up."
Mikey looked at him with tears in his eyes and nodded. "All right."
"Now what do you want?"
"I don't know."
Suddenly a box fell from the shelf by the stove. Stunned Donnie and Mikey looked at each other, there was nothing that could have knocked it over. Donnie got up to pick it up. It was Mikey's favorite cereal, and it had been Leo's. One of the few things their tastebuds had agreed on.
"Yeah, I'll eat that." Mikey said with a small smile. Donnie sighed, that was a good sign. If he could smile then he would heal. It would just take time. Still he didn't think it would be a good idea to leave him alone for to much. He'd have to talk to Raph and Splinter about that. He went and got a bowl, milk and a spoon and brought it all to his brother. As he was placing it on the table he heard a clatter in the fridge. What the... He went to go look as Mikey fixed his breakfast. He opened the fridge door to find the bottle of orange juice had fallen over. "Donnie, since your in there can you get me the orange juice please, bro?"
"Yeah...sure Mikey." He looked at the juice in his had in shock then brought it to the table and got Mikey a glass. Donnie then went to make himself something to eat. He sat down with his brother and together they ate in silence. Donnie just trying to be there for his little brother. They were almost done eating when Raph and Splinter walked in, Raph looking a little flustered. "Morning, Mikey. Mind if I share some of that cereal?"
"Sure, it's like the best cereal ever!" Mikey pushed the box over to Raph.
Raph poured himself a bowl and took a bite. "Hey, this stuff is pretty good." he smiled at Mikey.
"Ha ha! And you said you wouldn't like it. Wait until I tell Leo-" Suddenly he stopped and hung his head. Tears once again forming in his eyes. Everyone had grown quiet. "I'm sorry." Mikey whispered.
Raph laid his hand on Mikey's shoulder. "It's ok. We know."
Donnie sighed, got up and put his breakfast dishes in the sink to clean them. The others sat quietly at the table with Mikey as Donnie did his dishes hiding his own tears. He needed to be strong for Mikey.
Raph by now had finished his cereal. "Come on, buddy. I'll play some games video games with you." He gently led Mikey from the room.
Splinter sighed as he watched them go. Donnie could see the tears in his eyes also. "Sensei, I don't think we should leave Mikey alone for to much. He's taking this pretty hard. He was pretty upset last night still, more upset than I've ever seen him. I'm scared for him."
Splinter nodded his head. "I agree, my son. I will discuss the matter with Rapheal."
Donnie sighed. "I'll be in my lab if anyone needs me. I got some things I need to...do."
Splinter turned his head to look at him. "It is alright Donatello. We each have our ways of coping, if you need the time then take it."
Splinter knew him so well. "Yes, Master."
He went to his lab. He needed to get his mind off of what happened and losing himself in his projects was the best thing for him. He could work and put the everything else out of his head...usually. This time it wasn't working.
No matter how hard he tried to focus on his work, thoughts of Leo kept creeping in. The way his blue eyes lit up with amusement every time Donnie found something fascinating, and that quirky smile when he listened to Donnie explain something way over his head. The almost silent chuckle he did when Mikey looked at Donnie with complete and utter blankness at one of his explanations. Even his words of support when Donnie was struggling to find something to fix the current crisis. Leo was always there, his calming influence helping his younger brother think.
Donnie struggled with himself as he tried to clear his thoughts, he was trying to work on the new power cell for the shellraiser and this needed his complete concentration. Leo always drove the shellraiser. He was the only one Donnie really trusted to drive it, though they had all driven it before. Now who would drive it? It didn't feel right letting someone else drive it, that would always be Leo's spot...
He heard a crack and a fizzle and brought his focus back to what he was doing. "Oh no..." He had messed up, messed up bad. Not fully paying attention to what he was doing he had made a huge mistake. He had, instead of connecting the right parts to make a power cell, connected something the wrong way and it was overloading. It was going to explode...just like last night. Overload and explode. Stunned Donnie couldn't believe he had made such a dreadful mistake, he just stared at the now ruined powercell in betrayal.
Suddenly something crashed into him and he fell hard onto the floor a mere moment before the thing exploded. He landed on his stomache and he could feel someone's weight on top of him, shielding him from the blast and the small bits of shrapnel that flew across the room. He laid there for a few moments and then felt the weight lift off of him. He turned to thank whoever it was that had pushed him out of the way. There was no one there, only a faint blue glow that shimmered in the smoke then it to disappeared.
He heard the others burst into his lab. "Donnie! Are you alright? What happened?" Raph came to his side to help him up.
'Yeah..I'm fine. I just messed up." He looked around but the lab was empty of anyone else, it was just them. What had just happened?
