"I like you. And I know . . . well I think I know, that you like me, too. But I'm gay and you are . . . not. So our 'likes' could feel very different."
The hesitation is evident in the statement, but it also permeates throughout the expression of the words. Holly's voice lacks its normal confidence and the sentence is delivered without her faster-than-average fluidity. Gail watches Holly's face express weakly disguised pain, feigning nonchalance. It makes Gail's heart hurt to see the normally unflappable woman struggle because of her and her inability to be as readily transparent with her feelings. Her upbringing had made her callous. In fact, she rarely let anyone close enough to develop feelings, and, if she did, she often quickly recoiled out of fear of either disappointing the other person, or getting herself hurt.
But here she was, heart practically beating out of her chest because Holly had somehow managed to work her way inside of Gail's well armed defense mechanisms. Maybe it was because Holly was so non-threatening. She was a nerdy, forensic pathologist who seemed to have little in common with Gail. They didn't work together. And she was a she. Holly was perfectly disguised as the most ideal friend Gail had encountered in a long time.
But the banter was so easy. And Holly was so fun, smart, athletic, graceful, and encouraging. And so very beautiful.
Gail slowly moved towards Holly who was leaning on the hallway wall, now looking down at the floor between them. Holly looked up as Gail slowly closed the distance between them. Brown eyes looking into blue eyes, searching. Gail's breath was high in her chest along with the heat she could now feel blushing up her neck. Despite her adrenaline cocktail of nervousness mixed with a healthy dose of excitment she continued to slowly, and, hopefully, smoothly move forward until she was pressed into Holly, Gail's thigh between Holly's, Gails breasts just grazing the buttons of Holly's shirt. She could feel Holly's breath on her face. She slowly moves her lips so they are just grazing Holly's ear.
"My 'like' feels like this," Gail whispers.
"Gail, wait." Holly says, pushing her back enough to look into her eyes. "When things get better . . . and they will . . . and you remember that you aren't gay, this thing we are doing now is going to be a mistake you're going to wish you hadn't made. Or it will be a mistake I will wish we hadn't made. I don't want to be a mistake to you. I don't want what I am feeling to be a mistake."
Holly pauses, her eyes roaming over Gail's face but without really seeing. She is searching within herself for the strength that is normally so easy to find, but that this beautiful woman in front of her has made so elusive.
"I don't want to be the lesbian crushed by the straight girl. And you could. Crush me, I mean."
With that, Holly picked her eyes up from the hem of Gail's shirt that she had started nervously tracing with her fingers as she spoke. She looked into Gail's bright blue eyes and tried to convey the gravity of her statements with her own dark eyes.
"You're a doctor, right? I want your medical opinion on something. My understanding is that doctor's are very scientific, making diagnoses based on observations of as many different factors as possible. True?"
"True."
With this reply Gail closed some of the distance the Holly had put between them. She reached down and put her fingers on Holly's forearm, wrapping her thumb around the inside. Slowly and lightly she drew them down towards Holly's hand, her thumb hovering at Holly's wrist.
"You know that I have previously only dated men." She arches her eyebrow questioningly at Holly.
"Yes."
Gail leans her head in closer so that her lips are hovering over Holly's. She glances at Holly's eyes and then down to her mouth. Slowly, gently, Gail presses their lips together, allowing herself to momentarily get lost in their fullness. She feels the excitement coursing through her body. There are hot, tingling surges originating from her pussy and surging up through her torso like a slow motion geyser. She feels the pressure building and everything that is her sex feels swollen and wanting.
"I love kissing you."
When Gail raises her eyes to Holly's, she sees that Holly's eyes are still closed and her lips are still parted. Holly's chest is rising and falling quicker now and her breath is heated on Gail's face.
Now Gail slides her fingers down so they are on the back of Holly's hand. As smoothly as her excitement will allow her, Gail brings Holly's hand to her waist. Using Holly's thumb to lift the material of Gail's shirt, she pushes Holly's hand to the now, burning hot skin of her stomach. Holly's breath stops and as Gail pushes Holly's flattened hand down into her underwear she can feel the hand shaking. Gail pushes further, letting her own fingers slide over Holly's as they approach her pussy. When their fingers hit the warm, wet, Gail applies a little more pressure to Holl'y middle finger as she slides it down over her clit, eventually wrapping Holly's finger up into her. Holly releases the breath she had been holding with a heavy, shaky exhale.
"Oh God, Gail."
Holly breathes audibly now, a slow pant. Her hips unconsciously start slowly rocking. Her finger pushed up into Gail remains still while her hips start thrusting a rhythm that she wants her hand to take. She needs a little more from Gail, though to know that there is no turning back.
Gail feels the slight movement of Holly's hips as their bodies come together, the back of Gails hand gently pressing into Holly's pussy as Holly makes the small movements forward.
Once again, Gail searches out Holly's eyes. They are still closed.
"Holly?" Gail can barely get the syllables from her lips with the arousal she is feeling.
Holly opens her brown, almost black eyes and stares into Gail's icy ones.
"This" she gasps as she pushes her hand harder into Holly's, driving Holly's finger deeper inside "is all because of and for you. I am pretty sure you know this, but you're a girl and I'm a girl. So, tell me, do I feel straight to you, Doctor?"
Gail can feel her own wetness running through Holly's fingers onto her own. She drives herself harder down onto Holly's finger and pulls her own hand away so that she can let Holly take the control she needs, in whatever form it might come.
