With Peyton gone, there was a certain amount of awkwardness lingering in the house. Lucas was often thrown back to when Brooke was living with him and he had been helplessly in love with her. But in so many ways, this was so very different.
The most obvious was the baby they were taking care of. Brooke wasn't the way she had been at sixteen. She spent most of her time in jeans and baggy t-shirts, fussing over the baby instead of her hair. If the baby was asleep, she was sitting up on the couch next to the baby monitor, pouring over parenting books and worrying about doing things wrong.
"These things should come with an instruction manual," Brooke groaned one day after having struggled to get James down for his nap.
Lucas laughed, sitting opposite her with raised eyebrows. "You're doing a great job, Brooke."
"Yeah, with no help from you," she mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you don't even hold him," Brooke burst out, looking up at him in obvious exasperation. "I know how hard it is. He has Nathan's eyes and Haley's nose and it's nearly impossible to look at him. I know that."
"That's not-"
"Lucas," Brooke cut him off, but her voice was gentle. "You don't have to lie to me. We basically only have each other now."
"And Peyton," Lucas corrected.
Brooke gave him a crooked smile. "She's three thousand miles away, Luke."
"But she's still here for us."
"Maybe for you," was Brooke's cryptic response as she stood and made her way onto the porch. Lucas groaned and followed her, determined to not let their passive aggressive dialogue continue.
"Brooke, what are you talking about?"
Brooke heaved a deep sigh, turning to him slowly with a sad expression on her face. "Peyton was my best friend, and then you happened when we were sixteen. She's here for you, Lucas. Not for me."
"You know she's there for you!" Lucas exclaimed defensively. "She always has been!"
Brooke gave him a condescending smile. "Sure, Lucas."
"Stop it!" he yelled in frustration.
"Sh!" she hissed. "You're going to wake Jamie."
Lucas rolled his eyes and lowered his voice. "I don't understand what your problem with Peyton is."
"I don't have a problem with Peyton," Brooke said honestly. "But there were things that only Haley could help me through, and now she's gone. And Peyton just can't do it."
Lucas watched helplessly as she turned her teary eyes away from him and walked back into the house, walking into Jamie's room and softly shutting the door.
Brooke kept doing that. She would argue with him in some way or another, and as soon as she got truly emotional, she would lock herself in Jamie's room and sit on the rocking chair that was in there. Lucas went to his room, where he finally remembered the boxes that had come with their letters. He pulled his out from under the bed, where he had stuffed it when they had returned to Tree Hill three weeks ago, and opened it. He sucked in a breath when he realized it was a series of DVDs. Pulling out his laptop, he slipped the first one in and felt his heart constrict when Nathan appeared on the screen.
"Well, hey," his brother said awkwardly. "This is Haley's idea. I'm not really-I think this is stupid. She's acting like we're going to die tomorrow. We're eighteen years old, and Haley's just found out she's pregnant."
"I am not crazy!" he heard Haley's voice call from outside the room. "Now do as you're told!"
Nathan looked directly into the camera sardonically. "See what I mean?"
"Well, Luke, if you're watching this, I'm dead. That's weird to say, really. And if I'm dead, you and Brooke are taking care of Jamie. I'm sure that's a little weird for you guys. You guys just broke up a week ago. Haley's pretty confident that you're going to get back together-"
He was cut off again by Haley, who now popped into the frame for a moment.
"It's a Brucas world, the rest of us are just living in it!" Haley exclaimed before skipping out of the room, leaving her chuckling husband behind.
Nathan suddenly became serious, pinning the screen with an intense blue eyed stare. "Look, man, I figure this is okay because obviously it's been years. Maybe you all ready know by now. But there's something I think you need to hear, and Haley and Brooke don't want to tell you-"
"Do I hear Nathan?" came Brooke's panicked voice. She was standing in the doorway, hand on her heart, and tears in her eyes.
"Um, yeah," Lucas said, slamming his computer shut. "I was watching an old video from high school."
Brooke nodded understandingly. "I've done the same thing. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier."
"No apologies needed," Lucas assured. "Hey, have you opened that box we got with our letters."
Brooke's face suddenly brightened. "No, I hadn't! I should go do that while he's still asleep. Maybe Haley did make me an instructional manual."
Lucas laughed at her apparent excitement, relieved that she was bouncing out of the room. Brooke had been this way; one second she was down, the next she was up. He was worried about her, in all honesty, but he hadn't known Brooke very well since their breakup, and it felt uncomfortable to ask her to talk about her feelings. She wasn't like Peyton, who would simply come to him asking for help, or Haley, who would sit with him and demand that he help her make lists to organize her thoughts. She was Brooke, and she liked to hide what she was thinking and feeling. His phone began to ring and he answered it with a smile.
"Hey Peyt," he said happily.
"Hey you," the blonde smiled from aross the country. "You sound happy!"
"Yeah," Lucas said, and he suddenly realized that he was happy. "I am. I found these tapes from Nathan."
"That's great!" Peyton exclaimed, but he could hear a bit of disappointment in her voice.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Come on," Lucas coaxed. "I was just thinking about how much easier it is to get you to talk about stuff than it is to talk with Brooke. So out with it, Sawyer."
Peyton chuckled. "It's silly and immature."
"I don't care."
"Okay," she sighed. "I just-I wonder why they chose you and Brooke and not you and me, you know? I was your girlfriend when Jamie was born. And let's face it, Brooke has never exactly been mommy material. At least I had the practice with Jenny."
Lucas felt a small bubble of defensive anger rise in him, but he squashed it and calmed himself to be there for his girlfriend. "I mean, that's true," Lucas laughed. "Brooke Davis, a mom? I mean, really?"
"Exactly!" Peyton exclaimed, obviously relieved that he seemingly felt the same way. "It just seems like I would have been the better fit, and it kind of hurts that Haley didn't pick me. I always thought we were closer than her and Brooke."
"Well, they did live together," Lucas reasoned.
"Brooke's lived with everyone," Peyton pointed out. "Me, you, Haley, Rachel…"
"That's true, she's a bit of a nomad," Lucas agreed.
"Well she's never had much of a family," Peyton continued. "Which is another reason why she just doesn't seem like the better choice. I don't know, I'm being stupid."
Yeah, you are. Lucas wanted to yell, but instead, he dully protested. "No, you're not. It makes sense. Brooke isn't really the mom type and it would have made more sense, seeing as we're together and all that."
"And you and Brooke broke up," Peyton said pointedly.
"Yes, Peyton," Lucas said tiredly. "Brooke broke up with me ages ago."
Jamie started to cry, and Lucas took that as his out. "Look, I gotta go, the baby is crying."
"Wait!"
But Lucas had all ready hung up. Peyton sat in her now half-empty apartment in Los Angeles, staring at her phone.
"It's always been Lucas and Peyton," she mumbled to herself, "always."
Then why had Haley picked Brooke?
And why couldn't Peyton bring herself to just be happy that Jamie had someone who loved him?
She felt the guilt twist at her heart as she looked at the large print of her, Haley, and Brooke that had been hung on the wall when the girls first moved in. They were all beaming, arms around each other, and Peyton shook herself as she stared into Haley's smiling face.
"I'm sure you had your reasons, Hales," Peyton said resolutely. "Brooke's a great girl. She'll do great."
She could almost hear Haley's exasperated voice in her head. Of course she will, Peyt. You don't give her enough credit, you know. None of you do.
And so Peyton made the executive decision to do everything in her power to thrust her jealousy aside to be there for the boy and the girl she loved, even if they were across the country.
What does Nathan want Lucas to know? Find out next chapter
