I'm going to New York this week to see RAMMSTEIN (The greatest band of all time!) live at the Izod Center. I wanted to get this chapter posted before I leave. So enjoy!
(CHAPTER 3) IN THE PUBLIC EYE
It was early Thursday morning. The sun was starting to rise above the skyline of Ocean City as Azusa stood in the kitchen of her home making her daughters lunch for school. It wasn't anything fancy, just the typical lunch of a 5 year old: a juice box, peanut butter and banana sandwich, carrot sticks, and a small pack of fruit snacks. As she packed the food into Tama's Spongebob lunch box she found her mind being constantly flooded with thoughts.
A lot had happened since the other day when Azusa had lost her temper in front of Tama. She was constantly thinking of what kind of reputation that was bound to get her with the other parents. She already knew that the other parents didn't take her role as a mother seriously. She knew that the other parents thought that she was nothing more than a rock star and into nothing other than sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
The thought made her laugh to herself. She was the polar opposite of the typical rock star off stage. She hadn't had sex since before Tama was born. As for drugs; she wouldn't admit it to anyone, but she did try weed once, long before she became a parent. It was during a time in her life when she just wanted to let go and live a little. However, she never liked the effect and hadn't done any form of drugs since. And as for rock and roll; to her, that was her job. Being on stage and playing guitar and wowing crowds of thousands was her version of a 9 to 5 work day. Aside from that, all she cared about was making sure that her daughter was happy and that she was able to keep providing for her. It was a typical thought that anyone who wasn't involved with the music industry as looking to anyone in a band as living a wild and crazy lifestyle. No one seemed to realize that musicians, herself, and the rest of her band included lived normal lives off stage.
It wasn't until she heard the news anchor on the living room TV say, "It's just about 7am on this beautiful Thursday morning…" that she snapped from her trance and quickly finished getting Tama's things ready. She then left the kitchen and went upstairs to Tama's room.
She opened the door to find her daughter sleeping peacefully under her Spongebob blanket. Most of the things that Tama liked aside from her mother's music was Spongebob, and her room was decorated mostly with the cartoon character. The only thing that wasn't Spongebob in her room was the two posters that hung in her room just above her bed. Two posters of Azusa's band, Shadow. One poster had the entire band posed in a dark setting with all of the members posed on the side of what was meant to be a mountain with storm clouds in the background, and the other was a poster of Azusa standing in her black, gothic stage clothes and holding one of her signature B.C. Rich guitars. In this case the guitar she was holding was her B.C. Rich Beast, her favorite out of all the guitars that she owned.
She walked over to Tama's bed and calmly said, "Tama, it's time to wake up. You have a big day at school today." Tama groaned and pulled her Spongebob blanket over her head. "5 more minutes…" She groaned. Azusa smiled and said, "I already let you sleep in a little later." She then leaned down and pulled Tama's cover off to find her daughter curled up with her eyes still closed. Tama sighed and slowly opened her bright blue eyes and groggily sat up. Azusa knelt down in front of her and said, hurry up and get dressed, Mommy made pop tarts for breakfast!" Tama looked over to Azusa with her sleepy eyes and uttered out, "Are they the strawberry ones with sprinkles?" Azusa smiled and said back, "Yep! I bought a new box last night just for you." Tama sighed and said, "…I'll be right down." Azusa laughed to herself and said, "I thought that might get you moving."
Azusa left Tama to change and went back downstairs to get Tama's breakfast ready. She put two pop tarts in the toaster and poured two glasses of milk. She then switched the TV from the news to cartoons so Tama could watch while she ate her breakfast.
It was almost like clockwork. As soon as the toaster popped, she could hear Tama's tiny feet coming down the stairs and then headed for the table. Azusa set her milk and pop tart in front of her and said, "Be careful, it's still hot." Tama nodded and began to blow on it. Azusa too sat down next to her with the other pop tart and her own glass of milk and simply enjoyed spending time with her daughter.
"Are you ready for school?" Azusa asked. Tama nodded as she took her first bite and then replied, "Yes, we're setting up for parent's night today." Tama then looked up at her mother and continued, "I can't wait for everyone to see you play guitar tonight!" Azusa paused. She knew that the parents were supposed to explain to the class of what their job was and if they could, give some sort of demonstration of what it is that they do. Before she could think on it more, she heard Tama ask her, "What song are you going to play for my class?" Azusa looked down at Tama and paused for a second. The truth was, she didn't even know. She simply replied, "It's a surprise."
A while later, Azusa stood on her front porch and watched as Tama headed for the school bus. Before she got on, she quickly turned and with a smile on her face, made her hands into the rocker style horns and said, "Bye Mommy!" Azusa returned the gesture and calmly replied, "Have a good day sweet heart."
Azusa watched as the school bus drove down the road and finally out of sight. She sighed and then turned and went back into her house. As she closed the front door, she stood and thought. Her music style wouldn't be accepted by anyone in Tama's kindergarten class other than by the two of them. A thought then dawned on her.
She quickly went back upstairs and into her bedroom. She quickly opened up her large walk in closet and went to one of the shelves on the closet wall. Buried beneath pairs of shoes and other things, she found a small notebook. She pulled it out and opened it up. Inside was page after page of guitar tabs that she had written from back in high school when she was still in a band with the other girls. It was all music she had written and even the guitar tabs to the songs that her and her friends used to play.
She flipped through the old songs and even read through the notes that Yui, Mio, Ritsu, and Mugi had written throughout the book. Most were small suggestions to the songs or what to do at a certain point of the song during the live shows and most were from Yui writing random cute things. It brought a smile back to Azusa's face.
Before she could read through anymore, she heard her phone ringing. She quickly stood up and went back into her bedroom and answered the phone that was on her nightstand. "Hello." She said softly. She heard the reply of, "Azusa, it's Ashley." "Oh hey Ashley." Azusa replied, "What's up?" Ashley continued, "I was going for a morning walk on the boardwalk and wanted to know if you wanted to go with me." "Sure." Azusa replied, "Are you leaving now?" "In a little bit. Would you like to meet at the 35th street boardwalk entrance at about 8:00?" Ashley asked. Azusa nodded and said, "Sure I'll see you then."
Azusa pulled her BMW into a small parking lot at the far entrance of the boardwalk. She was a few minutes early and Ashley still hadn't arrived. She quickly put her long raven black hair into a single pony tail and put a baseball cap on to hide her face. She was in normal street clothes and hoped that this would keep people from recognizing her while she tried to enjoy her morning walk with her friend. She got out of her car and headed up to the boardwalk.
It was a beautiful morning. It was warm and sunny and the smell of the ocean filled the air as the sea gulls flew over head and the sound of the waves crashing echoed off of the surrounding building. Azusa went to the sea wall on the edge of the boardwalk and leaned over and simply looked at the ocean as she waited for Ashley to arrive.
Around her, other morning walkers were out and enjoying this beautiful day. No one seemed to notice that she was there or who she was which she was grateful for. She found herself spacing out and not even realizing that someone was coming up behind her.
As she stared at the ocean she then felt two pointer fingers being jabbed into her sides and sending a jolt up through her body. Azusa yelped in surprise and made a "Nya!" noise. She then quickly turned to see Ashley standing and holding her two pointer fingers up. Ashley was a taller girl around the same age as Azusa. She had shoulder length brown hair and bright green eyes. She was wearing simple summer clothes and had a pair of sunglasses resting on the top of her head. She also had a son named Shane who was in Tama's class. "Jumper cables!" she called out. "And did you just meow at me?" She asked. Azusa rubbed her hands on her sides where she had just gotten poked. She lowered her head in embarrassment and said, "I don't want to talk about it." Ashley simply laughed.
The two started their walk and Ashley asked, "So how's life, Azusa?" Azusa sighed and said, "It's alright I guess. We're on tour so it's kinda hectic right now making sure that we get to all of our shows and that Tama makes it back in time for school." "I can imagine." Ashley replied, "You do those huge live shows and then come home to live a normal life. I don't know how you do it." Azusa made a light laugh and said, "You're the only one who seems to think I'm normal." Ashley looked at Azusa and asked, "What do you mean?" Azusa sighed and said, "It's a long story." Ashley shrugged and replied as she motioned towards the boardwalk, "Well we've got a long walk." Azusa hesitated and Ashley continued, "What happened? You're not your usual cheerful self today, Azusa."
Azusa paused before she finally spoke. "Ashley… do you think I'm a bad parent?" Ashley stopped walking and looked at Azusa. With a rare look of concern on her face she then asked, "Who said you were a bad parent." Azusa stood and shrugged, "Who probably isn't calling me one? Everyone thinks I'm a satanic, drug using rock star." "But you aren't." Ashley protested. Azusa again paused and looked out at the ocean. She then quietly uttered, "Tell that to Brittney." Ashley walked over to Azusa and asked, "Is that who said that to you?" Azusa didn't respond, she simply looked at the ocean as Ashley continued, "Don't listen to a word she says. She's one of those Prozac mom's who thinks that her family is golden. She's given Shane problems too about the way he acts and she's not even a teacher. She just likes to flaunt her authority because she thinks being the head of the PTA makes her high and mighty."
Azusa sighed and uttered out, "I just don't know anymore." Ashley smiled and walked over to her as she continued calmly, "Hey now, is Tama unhappy? Does she come home from school everyday crying?" Azusa looked at her and replied, "She was upset the other day when I yelled at Brittney in front of her." "You yelled at Brittney?" Ashley laughed, "Over what?" Azusa paused and then replied, "It's a long story." Ashley again started to walk and motioned for Azusa to follow and she said, "I told you, we have a long walk."
The boardwalk was about 3 miles end to end and it took about and hour and a half to walk each way. It was still early and the shops were starting to open. At the end of the boardwalk near where the large entertainment district was, the two stopped in one of the smaller coffee shops for a break.
After the two ordered and got their drinks, Ashley continued as she took her first sip of her drink. "Don't let this whole parent's night thing get you so worked up. I'll be there tonight with you and I have to explain to everyone my job too." "That's just it." Azusa said quietly as she set her smoothie down. "All of the other parent's that are going to be there have normal jobs, like something in an office or factory workers. It's going to be really awkward when I go up and tell everyone that my job is the lead guitarist for an industrial metal band." Ashley gave her usual cheerful smile and instantly replied, "That's just it! You're going to have the most interesting job out of anyone there tonight. I mean come on! I work at a department store, not very exciting compared to a rock star!" Azusa sighed as she stirred her straw in her smoothie.
She paused and then uttered out, "Most of the other parent's don't seem to think so. They think my music pollutes the minds of the youth." Ashley laughed, "That's not true, me and you both know that they pollute their minds on their own, not through music." Azusa cracked a smile, "Tell that to Brittney." Ashley raised an eyebrow and shot back, "I told you not to care about what she says. I own all of your CD's and listen to them quite often and I don't think anything is wrong with your style of music. Sure it's heavy and harsh sounding but unlike some people, I actually listen to the lyrics. You guys sing about heartbreak, dark fairy tales, and fire. Not Satan and killing people. Sure sometimes the lyrics get a little on the risqué side but who cares, because you told me a long time ago when I first met you, that that's what industrial metal is about."
Azusa smiled and calmly said, "You're a good friend Ashley, do you know that?" Ashley smiled and nodded, "I know, and that's why you keep hanging around me." The two then laughed. This was a major relief for Azusa. She was tired of people thinking that she was a bad parent, and Ashley at least supported her and helped her look on the bright side. In a way Ashley was a lot like Ritsu. Ashley then cut in and asked, "So have you thought about what you're going to do tonight then?" Azusa paused and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed behind her head. "Let's see…" She thought for a second and said, "Well, in that letter that Tama brought home, it said that if we can, we're supposed to give demonstration of what we do, so I was thinking of bringing in one of my guitars and a small amp and playing one of the songs I did in high school with my old band."
"That's sounds cool." Ashley said, "I never heard you're old music. Was it a metal band too?" Azusa leaned back in towards her drink and took another sip. She then uttered out, "Not exactly." "Well what kind of music was it?" Ashley asked. Azusa smiled and paused for a moment as she thought back to her high school days. The days of doing nothing but spending time with the other girls in the music room. Sure, sometimes Yui would bother her and the practice sessions would rarely happen; but still, it wasn't until recently that she realized just how much she was missing those days. She looked back at Ashley and said, "We played pop music and soft rock. A big jump from what I play now."
Ashley smiled and said, "Cool! You'll have to let me listen to those songs sometime." Azusa replied, "Well, come over to my place after our walk. I'm going to go through all of my old stuff and pick a song to play for tonight. You can help me pick one if you want." Ashley gave a thumbs up and called back, "Sounds like a plan."
Azusa then heard a soft, "Excuse me, Angel?" Come from beside her. She looked over and saw a boy in his mid teens wearing a Shadow band t-shirt and holding out a piece of paper and a pen. "Would you sign this for me?" He asked with shaking hands as if he were asking a question to God himself. Azusa smiled and calmly said, "Sure." She quickly wrote her stage name, posed for a quick picture and then turned back to Ashley as her fan went on his way. "Sorry about that." She said. Ashley smiled and said back with a laugh, "And you say you don't like your job!"
