A/N- As always, I wanted to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for reading and reviewing!! It means more to me then you will ever know! I hope you guys are checking out the blog for post chapter interviews with Edward (Textward) and Teasers! Blog link is located on my profile page.

Also, as promised, I got back to each and every person who reviewed! I will continue to do so and I will try to answer questions asked, if I can. And I didn't make you wait long, just 8 days since last chapter. My goal is to post new chapter every Tuesday just FYI.

My shouts out to Krysti, for being the most amazing BETA Bitch in the world! Thank you for all you do for me! "Krysti you are my life now" LMAO!

Thank you to all my BTFF's for pimpin' out A&N. And as always, my bestieeeeees Stoli, T, Krysti, and JW I heart you girls hard for all the love & support!

I have a feeling I will be getting a lot of reviews for this chapter *smirks*

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They belong to SM. However, Textward is all mine! I just loan him to Krysti for interviews. LOL!


I had no idea that a simple drive to Edward's house could be so completely erotic until I was actually in the car with him. From the moment I got in and closed the door, I was immersed in his scent. The musk of his cologne, the deep rich smell of leather, the fiery, hot cinnamon, with a familiar hint of smoke. I inhaled deeply basking in the smell of him.

Edward only lived about fifteen minutes away but it felt like it was taking an eternity for us to get there. He never once took his hand off of me. At first he seemed very much in control of himself and his hormones. He lounged his arm on my headrest, lightly stroking my hair. I slightly leaned my head forward, silently willing him to rub my neck. He knew exactly what I wanted. He brushed my hair aside and started rubbing light circles along the back of my neck. Feeling my body completely relaxed by his touch, I let out a gentle moan.

I could see him adjust himself in his seat through my peripheral vision. I smirked at the fact that a tiny moan, from me, could cause such a reaction in him.

"Edward," my voice came out much more breathy then I intended.

"Yes, Bella?" he smirked at me, cocking an eyebrow.

Shit he heard it too.

Clearing my throat, I sat up slightly and lolled my head in his direction.

"Did you move or something? How long have we been driving?" I asked playfully.

Edward let out a light chuckle, flashing his beautiful smile at me. Reaching up, cupping my face he said, "We are almost home baby." He winked and turned his attention back to the road.

Baby?

That was the second time tonight Edward called me that. Immediately, the butterflies in my stomach fluttered and my heart begin to overreact, pounding out of my chest.

Edward's hand was still on my face and I rested my cheek on it. Maybe it was the alcohol that was flowing through me tonight, maybe it was the naughty Kings of Leon "Sex on Fire" lyrics that were just barley audible through the stereo. Whatever it was that came over me and granted me the courage to do what I did next, I will forever be thankful for it.

I slowly slid my hand up Edwards arm, ending at his hand that was still holding my face. I leaned back slightly, freeing my face from his gentle grasp. I closed my eyes and started placing tiny kisses along the top of his hand, trailing them down to his wrist while slowly turning it, giving me access to his palm, where I placed opened mouth kisses.

I paused briefly, looking up at Edward through my lashes, to gauge his reaction. His jaw was clenched and I saw him swallow thickly. His lips twitched slightly and I could see his breaths coming faster as I watched the rise and fall of his chest. He was fighting to stay in control.

I deposited a single chaste kiss before sliding my tongue out; allowing it to flatten as I slowly licked his palm, then narrowing it as it traveled up towards his fingers. I allowed only the tip of my tongue to gently glide up his long middle finger. Once I reached the tip, I clasped my other hand around his wrist and wrapped my entire mouth around his finger, sucking it completely into my mouth.

"Holyfuckingshit Bella!" Edward practically whimpered, as his head slammed back into his headrest.

I sucked one more time, hard and long, massaging his finger with my tongue, before releasing him from my mouth.

"What the fuck B?You're going to get us killed if you keep doing shit like that!" His eyes where shooting back and forth between me and the road.

I smirked at him, "Really Edward, after all the rumors I've heard, I never figured you to be so prude?"

Edwards emerald green eyes clouded with lust as he narrowed them at me. "You really shouldn't have said that." His voice was laced with intent.

My eyes widened with shock and my breathing hitched at the tone of his voice. Edward licked his lips and glanced down quickly at my breasts before turning his attention back to the road.

Suddenly, Edward's hand was on the side of my neck. His long fingers pushed my face gently, giving him full access to my neck. He stroked my jaw line with the pad of his thumb, winding his other fingers along the back of my neck into my hair, pulling it lightly.

My body immediately reacted to him and my nipples hardened slightly to his touch. He slid his fingers across my neck and down my shoulder, stopping at the thin strap of my dress. Pulling it off my shoulder, he continued his descent to my chest. He cupped my breast from the side and I instinctively arched my back, pressing myself into his hand. My breathing was becoming jagged but I didn't care. My need for Edward's touch was overpowering. He slid his fingers over my breast and squeezed firmly, rubbing my now fully erect nipple with his thumb.

"Shit! Bella, you're not wearing a bra!" he hissed. It was more of a statement than a question. His voice was thick and raspy now.

Thank god, I could see his house coming into view up ahead. Finally!

He gave my breast one last squeeze before dragging his hand down my stomach, across my hip, to my thigh, stopping at the hem of my dress. As if my body had completely taken over and my mind no longer had any control, my legs fell open for him.

Edward glanced down at the sudden motion. He took in a long jagged breath before pushing my dress high up my hip. He started to caress the inside of my thigh, slowly making his way up, but never giving attention to the one place that was virtually begging for it.

The car came to a sudden stop. My eyes flashed up from Edwards's hand, meeting his stare as he turned to face me. I had no control of my breathing. I panted heavily right into his face. Edward grabbed me with this other hand. Pulling me in closer, he kissed me on the lips, hard and urgent.

Keeping his lips ghosting on mine, he whispered breathily, "We're home."

****

Breathe, just breath and get a hold of yourself! I stood, bracing myself over the sink in Edwards's bathroom, just trying to comprehend what was taking place. We had made our way into the house, the house that I had been in countless times before. But this time it was just so different.

Different, because I was walking through the door as something other than Edward's best friend. Different, because I had no idea what was going to happen next? Different, because I knew that no matter what happened tonight something was going to change between us. That thought alone terrified me.

We had not said much once we were inside. It was a comfortable silence, but the lingering sexual tension in the air was so loud, it was deafening. No words were said and none were needed. I faintly remember asking for some water, as I stood there in the kitchen gawking at him. He was so at ease and so calm. He was so Edward.

He dropped a few ice cubes in a large glass and filled it with water. He pulled out a beer for himself, popping the cap off and tossing it aside. It was then that he must have noticed me staring at him. He smiled at me as he approached with the glass of water.

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked

He handed me the glass and placed his other hand on my wrist running soft circles on it with the pad of his thumb as if to offer reassurance.

"Yes, just thirsty." I smiled, taking a drink of the water.

I licked my lips and Edwards eyes shot to my mouth, prompting him to lick his own. He stopped rubbing my wrist and slid his hand into mine lacing our fingers together.

"Let's go up to my room." It was clear by his tone that it was more of question than a statement. He nodded his head towards the stairs waiting for me to agree.

How could I say no when everything inside me was screaming yes. I gave him a shy smile and a nod letting him lead the way.

As I we made our way into his room, I felt myself getting more and more nervous. My heart was racing at lightning speed. My palms were getting sweaty and my hands started to tremble. Thank god, Edward had already unlaced his fingers from mine to make his way across the room, turning on his desk lamp and the stereo to a low, soft volume. Unfortunately, it was at that moment when my body decided to betray me.

My hands were still shaking as I placed the glass of water down. My heart was still thumping out of my chest, my breathing was becoming erratic, and I felt the room closing in on me. It was at that moment that I was finally brought out of the alcohol induced dream state I was in. My mind came crashing back to the reality of the situation.

Edward was riffling through his CD's but I just stood there. I was frozen with visions of the night flashing before me. The dance with Edward, the way he held me, the way he kissed me, the feeling of his body pressed into mine, the look he gave me on the rocks, the ride home, the way he had been touching me all night.

It was all so surreal while it was happening. Maybe it was because I had been drinking or maybe because of the fact that I was so intoxicated by Edward himself. I just completely let go of all of my inhibitions tonight. It was so unlike me.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom really quick." It all came out faster and much louder than intended.

"Bella?" Edwards's voice was loaded with concern as he sprang up towards me, meeting me at the bathroom door, blocking the entrance.

"Bella, look at me" he commanded his voice shook slightly.

I looked up, defeated, meeting his eyes. His head was bent to one side and his brows pulled together forming a look of uncertainty. He searched my eyes and swept over my face looking for something. Exactly what he was looking for, I didn't know.

He placed his hands on either sides of my face, cupping it gently, tenderly stroking my cheeks. He leaned in and placed one soft kiss on my forehead and whispered, "I'll wait for you on the deck"

And now, here I stood, hunched over a sink in his bathroom, still somewhat drunk, trying desperately to get back to the state of mind I was in just a few moments ago in the car. I was scared though; scared of rejection, scared of him not wanting me, scared of the fact that I knew I could never not want him after having him like this.

Edward had told me numerous times just what he thought of drunken girls that would just throw themselves at him. He considered them to be nothing more than "sluts or whores". Girls that tired desperately to date him after a one night stand were "needy and clingy". So, just what category would I fall under after tonight?

Edward had rejected just about every girl in school in one way or another. Why would I be any different? I searched my mind but couldn't find an answer for that. All I could do was take a chance. I would be risking everything I'd have to jump in feet first, sink or swim, I had to know

I pulled myself up and straightened my dress. I fixed my hair the best I could. Edward's fingers had made quite a mess of it in the car. With one last deep breath I mustered up the determination to open the door and find my answers.

I found Edward on the deck smoking a cigarette and holding a beer loosely with the tips of his fingers. He was leaning forward against the railing looking aimlessly out into the night.

"Hey, sorry about that. I-I think I just drank a little too much." I lied, trying to blame the alcohol for my actions.

He took one final drag of his cigarette then held it out, offering it to me.

"No thanks." I smiled and he grinned in return before flicking it over the railing.

"You really scared the shit out of me Bella; I thought I had done something wrong," he admitted quietly, as he moved to close the distance between us, still not meeting my eyes.

"No Edward, you did nothing wrong. Nothing was wrong… it was all…perfect."

I felt the heat of my blush taking over and I looked down quickly to hide it. I heard Edward set his beer down on the table. The glass meeting the glass made a small clinking sound. He moved in front of me and I backed up slightly resting my back on the railing.

His fingers caressed my chin and gently pulled my face up towards his. Finally, our eyes met for the first time since the whole bathroom scene.

I tried to tell him with my eyes, everything I was feeling, the love I felt for him, the want, the need to be near him and with him, somehow willing him to read my mind. As he searched my eyes, I could see him start to smile. A look of relief settled across his features, smoothing the concern on his brow. But there was the something else, something I had not seen before in Edward eyes. I could only describe it as…hope?

"How are you feeling now? Did you get sick?" he asked. Still some concern in his voice.

"No, no I didn't get sick," I laughed lightly "I guess I was just sort of drank too much, mixing the alcohol. I-I think it just hit me all at once."

"It's like I have taught you nothing, never mix the hard stuff with beer. That's rule number one," he joked. We were both smiling now.

I was feeling much more comfortable so I impulsively pushed off the railing, bringing myself face to face with him, offering myself to him in a way. Edward read my actions and put his hands on my shoulders pulling me closer, as if that were possible.

He rubbed his finger tips up and down my arms. It felt so amazing. My body instantly relaxed to his touch. My eyes fell closed and I tired to stifle the tiny moan that escaped me. I heard his, almost inaudible, intake of breath as he tried again to hide his reaction. My eyes opened at the sound and met his. His eyes were hooded with lust. They stalked me, watching me, my every move being taken in.

I swallowed thickly, his eyes flashed to my throat. My breathing was getting heavier and his eyes moved to my chest. When I bit down on my bottom lip, not quite sure what to do next, his eyes moved to my mouth. He licked his own lips, in what seemed to be an involuntary response. At first, my only reaction was to watch his tongue move across his lips but my mouth fell open slightly and I could hear myself panting through it.

Edward slowly slid his hands down my sides to my hips, pulling our bodies closer together. He crushed his lips into mine, not giving me time to think, only to react with just as much urgency to his lips as he was giving mine. My hands made their way up his chest and behind his head, my fingers intertwining with his hair at his neck.

Suddenly, I became extremely aware of two things. The way his hands held onto my hipsas if he were holding on for his life, and the way his lips began to move against mine with fervor that I had never felt before in my life. I felt his lips part against my own and my body froze, focused only on his movements. His tongue reached out tentatively and brushed against my lower lip.

The breath that I didn't realize I was holding, rushed out of my mouth and into his. I let my tongue move forward to touch the tip of his. He pulled me closer, crushing me to his chest. His tongue became more insistent and I opened my mouth wider, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth. Needing to feel the closeness of him, my tongue moved against his, massaging it in a way that made me wonder what else he could do with this incredible tongue of his.

Edward lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel him harden instantly as our hips met. I rocked against him, desperate for the friction.

"Fuck!" Edward growled against my lips.

Our mouths were fighting against each other now, a fierce, affectionate battle. He held me close with one hand on my back, the other tangled in my hair, as he backed up, taking us into his bedroom. He gently laid us down on the bed and moved away from my lips, allowing us to finally catch our breath. His head lowered slightly and he started sucking and nipping at my neck. I could no longer suppress the moans that were now escaping me.

"Edward," I panted breathlessly, as he began kneading my breasts lightly.

He placed open mouth kisses down my neck, darting his tongue out in all the right places. He kissed across my chest until his mouth was over my now hardened nipple, sucking and kissing it through my dress. His hands reached up to the thin straps of my dress and pulled them off my shoulders. He carefully tugged my dress down and released my breasts from behind the material. He took my nipple into his mouth and sucked hard.

"Ohmygod!" I moaned as I arched my hips up into his full erection.

He moaned with pleasure, increasing the pressure as he pushed back into me. "Fuck Bella, if we keep this up, I-I don't know if I will be able to stop," he grunted.

He placed small kisses back up my chest, making his way to my neck. He was breathing heavily in my ear as he sucked in my ear lobe, sending goose bumps all over my body.

"Please, don't stop," I begged, terrified that the rejection was coming.

I turned my face to his, capturing his soft full lips once again, kissing him deeply. Edward eagerly kissed me back then pulled away slightly, leaving his lips ghosting on mine as he spoke.

"Bella you're so fucking beautiful but this..." He kissed me once "what we are doing…its making me want to do crazy things, but this…he kissed me again, this is up to you."

I understood that "this" meant sex, giving my body to him completely and I knew at that moment, I was ready. I grabbed his face, pulling it back to mine and kissed him with all the feelings he ever made me feel; anger, passion, happiness, sorrow, approval, determination, and the strongest feeling of all, love. With the deepness of his kiss on my lips, I decided to make my move. I moved my hands down from his hair, down his chest, to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up. Understanding my need, he sat up and pulled his shirt off his body tossing it somewhere on the floor.

As he came back down towards me, he slid his hands along my thighs pushing my dress up over my hips. I sat up with him allowing him to pull the dress off over my head tossing it in the same direction of his shirt.

"Beautiful, fucking beautiful." It was less than a whisper but I heard it.

Edward did a once over across my body with his eyes, then carefully laid down on top of me. Instantly, he was kissing me again, full of passion and want. We moaned into each others mouths in union. I needed more of him. I moved my hands to his jeans and unbuttoned the top button. He didn't tell me to stop so I kept on. I continued to unbutton and he hissed when my knuckles grazed his huge erection. I pushed his jeans down with some help from him and they were soon in the pile on the floor as well.

His hands found their way to my hips and pulled them up to his. I felt the pressure from his hard cock against me and my, now very wet, panties. I gasped, realizing how I was making him feel. Iwas the cause of this intense sexual desire that was burning through him. He couldn't seem to keep his lips from my body and he began kissing my neck with more intensity.

"Edward, please I-I need to feel you," I moaned.

The pooling in my panties and the aching need for friction was just too much now. His hand started up my inner thigh. He massaged my thigh just below my center so close that if I shifted my hips at just the right angle, his fingers would brush my lips. His other hand moved up and he cupped my breast. I inhaled sharply trying not moan. But he bit my neck softly, and then moved up to my ear and I melted. I was moaning loud now and I couldn't stop it or even try to muffle it.

He growled, "I just fucking want you," into my ear, followed by some swearing. I think I even heard him say "mine" but I couldn't be sure.

His hand, that was still on my thigh, inched forward finally reaching the spot that pleaded for his touch. He slid one finger under the lace of my panties and barely pressed into my slit, feeling the wetness that he was causing.

"Jesus Christ Bella, you're so fucking wet," he hissed.

"I can't help it Edward, it's you ….its what you do to me," I moaned.

He teased me with his finger, firmly sliding them up and down before pushing it inside of me and pulling out slowly. Then he intensified the pace, picking up the speed as I writhed against him. He rubbed my clit with his thumb and that almost sent me over the edge. I pulled at the waistband of his boxers and pushed them off of him. He removed his fingers from inside me, moving his hands to my hips, greedily pulling at the lace. My panties were ripped from my body in a split second.

"God, I've wanted this for so long," I whispered then gasped when his lips hit the sensitive spot right under my ear. "Please don't stop, Edward."

He moved back on top of me, positioning himself and his hard cock between my legs.

"How long?" he asked. His voice was low and velvety as he moved his tongue along my neck, alternating between nibbling and biting.

"Bella, how long have you wanted me? Tell me." He commanded.

"T- Too long. I have always wanted you, Edward," I panted.

"Are you positive, Bella?" He pulled himself up and looked deep into my eyes.

I looked into his eyes and couldn't find one reason not to have sex with this beauty of a man. I shook my head yes and smiled at him. He smiled back at me, kissing me tenderly all over my face, lips and neck. He bent to whisper in my ear as his hand moved between my legs. He ran the tip of his cock up and down between my folds causing me to shudder, before placing himself at my entrance.

"Breathe, Bella," he whispered. I released the breath I didn't realize I was holding and closed my eyes.

Edward propped himself on his elbows holding my face in his hands.

"Look at me baby," he whispered.

My eyes met his and he kissed my lips sucking lightly on my bottom lip. I moaned into his mouth. His eyes never left mine as he started to enter me ever so slowly. His tip alone was almost too much for me to handle. I gasped as he entered just a tiny bit more and I struggled to breathe.

"Fuck, Bella! You're so fucking tight," he groaned, closing his eyes.

A single tear rolled down my face. He looked back into my eyes, kissing the tear away and then…froze.

"Bella, what's wrong?" His voice was shaking with anxiety and worry. He started to pull his hips away from me.

"No Edward… please, don't stop!" I struggled to hold him against me. "I always wanted it to be you, please don't stop now!"

"You always want it to be me?" Confusion, shock, then understanding swept across his face. He jerked back and pulled out of me completely.

His eyes were shooting all over my face, his own face panicked. I could see every emotion as it came screaming through his eyes; panic, terror, hurt, confusion and regret.

"You are a virgin," he stated. His voice was merely a whisper.

Silence.

"Yes" I whispered turning away from him, not wanting him to see the tears welling up in my eyes.

Silence.

"No!" he said, almost in a shout.

"No, Bella. We are not doing this. I AM NOT doing this. Not like this Bella. Not you!"

"Edward," was all I could say in my weak voice.

He tore himself immediately away from my body, swiftly tossing the blanket over me. He stood up quickly, pulling his jeans on. He was running his hands through his hair, pacing back and forth frantically. I sat up, still unable to control the tears that were falling.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm so fucking sorry." He just kept repeating it over and over, like I was some fucking charity case.

He picked my dress up off the floor and handed it to me. He wouldn't even look at me. Holding my dress out to me he continued looking in the other direction. The sight of me seemed to disgust him.

I was speechless, helpless, and vulnerable, naked on the bed. I ripped my dress out of his hands, trembling and sobbing now. I pulled it over my body and wrapped my arms around myself as if that would comfort me.

"Call Alice!" I cried. Edward turned to me and I stepped back. "Don't touch me!" I warned.

"B-Bella please, listen, please," his eyes wide with shock, but voice was pleading and soft. His hand twitched slightly out reaching to me.

"CALL ALICE!" I yelled "I want to go home NOW!" I was crying so hard. Defeated and heartbroken, I sank to the ground weeping, my body giving into the pain. I was humiliated, rejected and unwanted.

He didn't want me. I knew he would reject me. I was such a fool.

Edward raced to me sitting down in front of me "Bella, I will call Alice if that is what you want, but I can take you home later. I would rather you stay here with me and talk to me about this," he begged. I said nothing. I just pushed my face further into my hands as I cried.

What the fuck does he want me to say? What was left to say?

He didn't want me.

He continued to speak "Bella it's just…we have been drinking... and… Fuck... I didn't even know you were a vir-…" I winced.

"I didn't know you never have had sex before," he corrected himself.

"It's entirely my fault Bella. I'm so sorry. Please, what can I do?"

Silence.

"Bella, please fucking look at me, God, I'm so fucking sorry! We were just drinking, and I'm pretty sure we both had too much. I mean, you even said so yourself…and Tanya and I had a fight…and you were dancing with Jacob…and then …fuck…I don't even know how this happened Bella."

Silence.

He was letting me down gently. I was a mistake. I was his drunken mistake. That's my new category.

He had drunk-sex with plenty of other girls before. He just didn't want it with me.

"Just call Alice. I need her to take me home. I-I don't even want to be around y-you, Edward," I begged through my sobs, finally looking up at him.

Edward looked terrified and defeated. His hands were trembling as he pulled out his phone.

"Fine," is all he said.

I heard the ringing on the other side of the phone and could hear a muffled Alice talking.

"Bella, wants you to come get her. I don't know Alice! She fucking wont let me, ok? Just get here now!" he growled at her. Hanging up his phone, he tossed it on the desk.

"She will be here in a few minutes. Bella, please just talk to me. I don't want you to leave like this, not when you're going to be gone for the rest of the summer."

"I'll wait for her outside," I sobbed.

I didn't even bother to pick up anything that I might have left behind. I raced to the door and down the stairs. My vision was terribly blurred from crying, the makeup and the darkness of the house. I missed the last step, falling down onto my knees.

Perfect, now I not only had a broken heart and crushed soul, let's add a few bones on top of it. I give up… I allowed myself to cry on the floor at the bottom of the stairs.

"BELLA!" Edward screamed from the top of the stairs as he rushed down to me.

Helping me up, he pulled me into his chest and stroked my hair.

"Are you ok, baby?" He kissed the top of my head. I was so out of it by this point, it took almost a whole minute to realize what was happening. I froze and pushed him away from me.

Backing up towards the front door, I yelled at him, "DON'T! Don't act like you care if I am ok, Edward. Do not try to comfort me, do not try to console me, do not touch me and do not fucking kiss me!"

Edward just stood there with his hoodie fisted tightly in his hand. I saw his jaw tighten and the anger flash in his eyes as he stalked toward me.

"What the fuck is going on here, Bella? What the fuck did I do? I should have gotten a fucking medal of honor for stopping that up there! No one else would have stopped at that point, Bella. Do you understand that? Do you know what it took for me to stop? And now you are angry at me for it?!"

A medal? What the fuck was he thinking?

I slid my hand around me and grasped the door handle that was behind my back, twisting it to make sure it was unlocked. Edwards's eyes shot from my face to the handle. As soon as I pulled it open, he reacted so quickly it was almost inhuman. He slammed it shut with one hand over my head. He leaned into me and I could see the fury in his eyes. He was angry and hurt. But fuck that, so was I.

"Don't do this, Bella. We need to fucking talk about this," he warned. He was so close; his warm breath hit my face.

He was warning me? You have got to be kidding me!

"There is nothing to say Edward," I choked out. "I can see it in your eyes and I have nothing to say. Just please let me go. Tomorrow, I will be in Arizona and you won't even have to see me again."

"What the fuck does that mean? You can see what in my eyes? Huh? Tell me Bella! What is it you see?" He leaned in even closer looking me dead in the eye. "And I won't have to see you again? Don't twist this on me Bella!" He leaned back still holding his hand on the door.

"I can see that you regret it. I just don't know why." The tears started streaming down my face again. "I should have known Edward. I should have known I was not good enough for you. I think part of me always knew I was not."

I was sobbing again, turning from side to side, avoiding the eye contact Edward was desperately trying to make. He finally let go of the door and grabbed my face holding it ever so gently in his hands.

"You think I regret being with you like that?" His voice was so stunned it caused me to look up. Just then I heard Alice's car pulling in the drive way.

"I know you do. I just don't understand why...I'm going home now, Edward."

I opened the door and just as I stepped out, Edward grabbed my hand. I turned around looking down at our hands and allowed a few more tears to fall. This will be the last time I ever get to touch him this way, I thought. The heart break tore through me to my very core. I looked up, meeting his pleading eyes.

I yanked my hand back as quickly as if his touch was fire. "Don't touch me Edward. You are never allowed to touch me again."

I said it so calmly it was almost scary, even to me.

I turned and ran to Alice's car. I got in and forced myself not to look back at him.

I was trying desperately to hold myself together in front of Alice. So I reached over to turn on the radio, to avoid any questions. The lyrics came pouring out shattering what was left of my heart with every word…

I'll pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong

Is it over yet?

Can I open my eyes?

Is this as hard as it gets?

Is this what it feels like to really cry?

It was overwhelming, painful, and true. Tonight, I had cried harder then ever before. I cried more than I ever thought was possible. And I knew this was just the beginning of many nights filled with tears.

Alice stayed completely silent, allowing me to sob, while wave after wave of hurt and rejection over took me. He was the first and only guy I ever allowed myself to feel anything for, allowed myself to submit completely to, allowed myself to offer my body and soul to...

And He didn't want me.

I stared at out the window allowing the tears to fall as Alice held my hand.

I was unconditionally and irrevocably heartbroken…


A/N- *peaks out from behind desk* You guys still love me, right? Yes? No? Maybe? You might not love me right now but you're going to have to trust me becau-

*Office door slams open. Edward stalks in pounds fists down on desk leaning over glaring at me* "We need to fucking talk now!"

*Swallows hard* "Um, Edward, I was in the middle of talking to my readers."

"I don't fucking care what you are doing…what the fuck was that? *tries to look at my computer screen* "You and me are going to have a long fucking talk. You're not leaving this office anytime soon, and neither am I. You got that?" * raises eyebrows*

*Quickly closes laptop* "Fine Edward…Is this on or off the record?"

*Edward sits in chair lights cigarette exhales smoke through his nose, looking annoyed at me* "On the fucking record."

*Gets out paper and pen, lights her own cigarette* "Ok Edward, talk to me" ………

EPOV Chapter 4. Next Tuesday!