TALES

Only a week ago it had been a snow shoe hare he had been speaking to who confessed a little too excitedly and loudly that only a few weeks before, she had actually managed to cross the border into Archenland and narrowly escaped being shot by a human huntsman - a real son of Adam. With her nose all a'quiver, she chattered about how he been able to pick her out against the autumn leaves and the real green grass and shrubs that she had been gorging herself on. She said that she had only returned back to the snow to hide and to get away from the huntsman, otherwise she would have made her escape from Narnia altogether.

Tumnus had been agog, never having even seen anything but winter, as he was only 30 years old. He began to wonder whether this meant that the harsh perimeter which surrounded Narnia, keeping all its inhabitants in and all humans out, might finally be crumbling. He was just beginning to warn the hare about keeping very quiet about this possibility and was about to invite her back to talk to some others when from the larch tree above came a silky voice, heavy with innuendo.

"How very interesting".

Hanging upside down from his hind claws and one fore paw to the low branch of the larch tree was Šarmu the Ermine. His fine triangular white head looked quizzically at them both and his bright black eyes danced with mischief.

"So… got into Archenland did you? Well, now, how fascinating. Hhhmmm. I'm sure She will want to hear about that morsel of intelligence. And didn't you sound interested Tumnus? Positively panting with glee and antici-p-p-pation I would have said. I'm sure the Queen will be very interested to hear about it all. Tumnus, perhaps you would be so kind as to take that hare prisoner and give me a lift to the Queen's house at the same time?"

Tumnus was consumed with horror.

His eyes darted to the hare who was crouching, nose quivering, eyes huge, frozen with terror. He was hoping she would gather herself to escape before he made his lunge, and execute wild zig zags across the surface of the snow before disappearing into the distance in a cloud of spray.

He momentarily considered grabbing Šarmu and dashing his brains out on the tree, but knew that if he failed all would be lost for him and the many people he supported in secret. So he lunged at the hare and the poor thing was as good as turned to stone already. He felt his hands clutching her warm body and silky fur firmly and only then did she began to scream and kick. Still he held on, gradually trying to protect his body from her kicking scratching claws and his ears from her pitiful piercing shrieks. But it was his own survival that counted here.

Then Tumnus felt Šarmu drop onto his shoulder and clutch his beautiful red scarf before latching his teeth onto Tumnus' earlobe.

"Well done Tumnus, I really thought we'd lost you there for a moment" the smooth voice said directly into his ear through its gritted teeth.

"But you really know on which side your bread is buttered don't you! Off to the Queen to dob in a fellow traitor! That's the way, easy now".

And with that Tumnus found himself struggling across the snowy forest lands towards the Queen's House, the poor hare cuddled firmly in his arms, both souls despairing, whilst the voice of the ermine worked a spell of compliance on them.

It took half the day to get to the Queen's house and then the interview with the Queen was hardly immediate as she had other business to attend to. They could clearly see the giant on the paarapet.

But one of her favourite werwolves was in office at the time, and he ushered them in anyway and kept them waiting on a wooden seat outside her throne room, eyeing the hare and the faun with barely controlled lust, whilst they listened to the final negotiations rumbling about the castle. Tumnus was terribly hungry and thirsty.

They felt the flash of her wand through the stone walls more than they heard it, as she turned the poor Buffin to marble.

Tumnus eyes filled with hot tears.

When She finally did arrive, Jadis strode past loftily. She was swathed from neck to toe in white furs, her long lustrous hair in a cloud of static, positively glowing from the enormous life force she had drawn from the giant. She nearly did not see Tumnus crouched on a wooden seat outside her throne room holding the poor hare, the Ermine draped around his neck. She pulled up short and stared down at them, appraising the odd trio with a distant expression.

Then her mood and focus changed considerably.

"So what have we here?" she crooned, pushing her hair back behind her ears and over her head as she spun on her heel in a fluid flourish. She was very beautiful. Just very white.

At this moment, Tumnus was almost glad that Šarmu was with him and prepared to do the talking.

Back in her throne room, she sat down lightly in her chair, her wand placed close at hand upright in its stand. The hare just quivered and did not speak, so Šarmu began the bare basics, making sure he described over-hearing a conversation between the hare and Tumnus.

"But perhaps your glorious Majesty would like to hear it from the hare's own mouth?" queried Šarmu. Tumnus moaned inwardly with terror.

"The Queen's mouth twitched, winked a long eyelid fake-conspiratorially at Tumnus, beckoned him closer, then looked on the hare kindly and stroked its fur with a long finger in Tumnus' arms for several minutes.

"Don't you want to talk to your Queen and ruler?" she asked softly.

A complex scent wafted from her hair and breast. It reminded Tumnus of fresh wet stone after a thunder storm and of stewed apples.

The hare loosened visibly. It blinked but was still too intimidated to speak. So the Queen unstoppered a little bottle and let fall a single drop to the floor. It sizzled, the scent rising. It reminded Tumnus of buttered toast and sardines and hot tea. But what appeared was a succulent lettuce. Another drop and it was a pair of carrots. The poor hare who had scratched around in the snow and ice for most of the six years of its short life searching for roots and old grass and needly leaves was embarrassed for choice and set to gorging itself feverishly on first one, then the other and then back again of these unheard of foods.

The Queen watched with interest until the hare's eyes began to look dull and unfocused and then said softly commanded "Stop!" and then "Tell me everything." She commanded gently. "Did you really manage to exit the snow border you clever creature? What did you see? What was it like? Was the herbage of Archenland as delicious as these?".

The poor snowshoe hare then babbled and gabbled everything out with "Oh, yes…", "Oh no…" squealing with anxiety, belching with satisfaction, defecating with abandon, moaning with pleasure and giggling with delight in equal measure. Tumnus found it devastating to watch and listen to, but was also terrified that the hare would betray others in its spell induced psychosis.

The Queen's green eyes shifted in turn from kind encouragement, to cruel amusement, to revulsion, to distant blankness and finally icy hardness as the hare continued.

She snapped her fingers. The sound ricocheted under the dome of her throne room and three werwolves stalked forward from the shadows to her summons.

"You heard! Alert the rime wardens! I want a full report from all the watchers. We meet at the Stone Table at sunset, the day after tomorrow!"

"Before their eyes, the wolf men shed their clothes, dropped to all fours, grew fur, snouts and wolf shapes and bounded out of the castle howling to their fellows.

"She reached down, grabbed the hare and wrenched. Its head and the dangling white spinal cord she tossed aside. The twitchng body she dropped at her feet.

"Šarmu! Your reward." There was no hesitation. The Ermine burrowed in.

Tumnus realised Šarmu had been waiting for this all along.