Sneaking Out
"This is absolutely ridiculous, Swan," Killian said, as she started gathering his coat which was draped across a chair.
He was lying on the couch, where he had spent the night. Emma had insisted that she stay with him, as it wasn't right for him to have to go anywhere else. Much to his chagrin however, she insisted he take the couch. It was more comfortable than many beds he had in the Enchanted Forest, which he couldn't argue about..
The boy had been gone the night, as he had spent it at one of his friend's house. He couldn't help but wonder what she would say to her son when he returned home. Would she tell him that Walsh wasn't who he said he was, or that he wasn't even human? It would be hard for the boy to believe, especially with the absence of his memories.
"No it's not! Just go occupy yourself for ten minutes or so before Henry comes home!" Emma said, holding the coat up from behind him. "Please, it will be hard for me to explain why for one I said no to him when he proposed. But it will be even harder for me to explain what happened if he sees another man here with me. Regina didn't put a single memory of me dating in either of our heads, so Walsh was all he has ever known. I know that once he gets his memories back, he'll be more understanding, but it's just until then."
Killian shot her a wolfish smile, "Oh? And what sort of idea may he get?" he teased, as he slipped his arms through his coat.
"You know exactly what he would think. He may still be young and innocent, however New York has caused him to mature a lot lately," she said, slapping him on the arm lightly.
"Aye, well it's a bloody shame that it wouldn't be the truth, now isn't it, Lass?" he said, breathily.
He saw how his voice affected her. How she shivered lightly, and little bumps rose up. He saw her flush a slight tinge of red, and he saw her stare at him carefully. He wanted to have her so badly. He needed her more than anything. Not just sexually, but emotionally, and mentally. She added something to his life that he hadn't felt in a long time; happiness.
It killed him knowing that she felt nothing for him; that they weren't True Loves. He had hoped that he could awaken her with the kiss, and leave the potion for Henry, however it had failed, and he had felt more lost than ever. Standing next to her felt so right in so many ways.
"It wouldn't have worked, regardless you know?" her golden voice said, startling him from his thoughts. "The kiss. True Love's kiss only works when you remember each other. After the curse was broken, Henry made me study his book which had my parent's story written in it. My mother took a strong potion to forget my father when she thought she couldn't have him. When he tried to kiss her, it didn't work; she needed to remember her feelings for him before she could remember him. The same thing happened with Belle and Rumple; she lost her memory of him, when you shot her over the line, and he couldn't awaken her."
He took a minute to take in what she was saying, "So, we could be True Love?" Killian asked, sounding hopeful. She had brought a light back into his life with her confession.
"I suppose we could," she said softly. She used her hand to slowly cup his face in her hands. He could feel the tiny hairs of his chin as they made contact with her soft skin. Killian nuzzled into her touch, but used his good hand to wrap around her waist and bring her tighter.
"I kept my promise to you," he said softly. "Not a day went by when I didn't think of you. Not one. I needed you so badly, that it almost seems unreal to have you here with me now."
She looked affected by his words. She moved to be closer to him. "I wish I could say I felt the same; I wish I could say that I missed you and that I always thought about you, but I can't; not completely. I would be lying if I said that my life felt perfect with my false memories; I knew something was missing."
She paused, "I used to have dreams about you. They always had a man in a long leather coat, and were filled with adventures of another life; but they were memories. Somehow my subconscious couldn't forget about you, no matter what the spell Regina cast had tried. You're far too ingrained in my memory for me to erase your existence."
He felt his heart skip a beat. He used his hook to twirl her hair. He could feel her breathing quicken.
"I need to say something," she said carefully; as if she were trying to plan out her words.
"Yes, Lass?" he asked her gently, not wanting to make her he feel uncomfortable with him.
"I was scared before," she near whispered. "I didn't want to say anything because you're right, I don't trust easily. Neal betrayed me and left me, and I don't think he fully understands the damage he did to me. There was someone else; Graham. I didn't want to let him in, but I did, and Regina hated that he was choosing me, so she crushed his heart. I was with him when he died. That was why I locked you up the first time; because people who I let in my life always end up leaving. And I didn't want that to happen with you. So I tried to end anything before it happened."
His heart broke as he listened to her. He didn't know about this Graham fellow, but she knew what it must have been like to have someone crush the heart of one you held dear, especially after Milah. He didn't say anything; just rubbed his hand across her back to let her know that he was there for her.
"Even when I was leaving Storybrooke, I couldn't tell you. I told myself it was selfish to tell you when I would be forgetting about you, but it wasn't the reason. I didn't want to take a chance that I was wrong, even though I knew how you felt. But I can't do that anymore. I lost a year of my life; even if I lived it with my mind, I didn't have my true memories. I don't want my life to pass me by and I realise I lost someone else, but because I was too afraid to take a chance," she said, as her eyes studied his.
He didn't take his gaze off her. She seemed to be looking for doubt or conflict in his eyes, but she would not get it; not when he loved her as strongly as he did.
"I love you, Killian Jones," she said softly, as she smiled a bit at her realization. "I love you."
He couldn't wait any longer; he had showed enough restraint. He brought his lips crashing down to hers, and pulled her closer into him. Her hands made their way to his hair as she pulled his face closer to his. It was like their Neverland kiss, however was filled with all the feelings she had just proclaimed.
When they pulled apart for air, he looked at her for any signs of regret, but could not find a single one.
"I love you too, Emma Swan," he said, as he tried to pull her into another kiss. He was slightly stunned when she held her hand out to push him away.
"Henry's going to be here soon," she said with a smile. "Come back in ten minutes, okay? Then we'll go to Storybrooke."
He shook his head at her, but the grin on his face wouldn't wipe away. He brought her into a quick kiss, before leaving the apartment.
He took a walk around the block as he waited for her lad to return. Killian felt happier than he had in a long time. He knew that she felt something for him, yet he never would have hoped himself to be lucky enough to have her admit that she loved him. He felt a spring in his step, and when he made his way back to her place, he couldn't help but add a swagger into his step. Hook was gone, but Killian was back; and he was here to stay.
