Barriss Offee and the Dark
I wrote this one because I'm totally pissed about how Season 5, Episode 20 turned out. I was so shocked! Barriss is, like, the most perfect person ever.
Barriss read the script, and then read it again. And again. Just to make sure. Then she turned to the director. "I am completely confused by your plot twist."
"Well," the director began, "you are angry with the Jedi. To you, they are corrupt. You wanted to stop the corruption, so you attacked the Temple, framed your friend, Ahsoka, attacked Asajj Ventress, and murdered Letta Turmond."
"I can't believe you!" Asajj said, fake-pouting at Barriss. "Why would you do that to me, Offee?" Letta giggled, obviously sharing the sentiment.
The director continued. "Anyhow, in trying to stop the corruption, you corrupted yourself and turned to the dark side."
"That's a shocker," Ahsoka said, laughing. "I mean, Barriss is supposed to be the most perfect Padawan ever! Why would she turn to the dark side?"
"And where's Luminara in this episode?" Barriss asked. "Wouldn't she help her own Padawan out?"
"That makes it too complicated. Sorry, Miss Offee, you're on your own in this episode."
Barriss sighed. "Do I have to do this? It's going to confuse everyone who watches. They all know me as the perfect Padawan in this show. Knowing my character, I'm never supposed to do anything terrible, and they don't expect me to."
"That's what makes it so wonderful! The viewers will never expect it!" the director exclaimed.
The Mirialan rolled her eyes. "Really? That's your only reason for doing something so stupid?"
"And that Ahsoka, Anakin, and the rest of the Jedi Order will never expect it." the man added cheerfully.
"You have got to be kidding me. So many contradictions- who will know what to believe, the show, or the previously established canon?"
"The show, because it's well-known, of course."
Barriss facepalmed. "Why am I even doing this? Seriously! Why am I?"
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