A/N: Tiny bit of background- post GMG and pre-Tartarus. Anime fillers aren't canon.


Lucy woke up to Natsu and Happy's beaming faces grinning up at her.

Which is to say, unpleasantly.

Her blankets had been pulled, rather rudely, off of her and god it was freezing. The idiots had probably came on through her window and didn't even bother to close it after they entered.

"Luuuuuuuucyyyyyy~!" the duo cheered. "We have a mission!"

Lucy squinted at them, her groggy mind scrambling to evaluate the situation.

"Go away. I'm tired. And don't draw out my name like that. It's annoying," the blond muttered sleepily.

Eventually her mind put together-

Natsu. Bedroom. Sleep (?!). Cold. She wasn't wearing anything but her underwear.

Lucy froze.

"Get out of my room!" she shrieked, pulling her blankets over her exposed form as tightly as she could.

"B-but Lucy, the job!" Happy cried, darting to the left to avoid a flying book. Natsu was not so lucky, and, after a massive, leather-bound tome crashed into his face, careened out the window and tumbled down to the sidewalk.

Happy paused and stared out the window, then turned a wide-eyed gaze to Lucy.

The celestial mage held a book in front of her threateningly.

Finally, the blue cat made a great show of whacking his own head with a (fairly thin, paperback) book and hurtled through the open window.

Lucy sighed and hastily threw on some clothes- a fitted, low-cut tank top and a pair of cargo shorts- and jogged out of her apartment, where Natsu was still lying prone on the street.

"How many times do I have to tell you," Lucy sighed, "to not sneak into my room while I'm sleeping, naked, or both?"

Natsu looked up at her with pitiful puppy eyes. "But your rent is coming up soon and Happy and I found a job that you would like," he whined.

She sighed again, appreciating the good intentions, but still like her privacy had been severely violated. (Did they really have to break into her room while she was sleeping? No. No, they didn't.)

Lucy put her hand to her temple and huffed lightly. "Thank you for thinking about me Natsu," she said, "but please never enter my room without my permission. Or my house. And for the love of god, if you're going to invade my privacy use the door."

Natsu and Happy nodded, wide-eyed and grinning like mad, and Lucy found she couldn't be angry at them anymore.

"So what's this job of ours that's so amazing?" she asked.

Natsu's grin suddenly seemed terrifying.


"A joint mission?" Lucy questioned,

Makarov nodded. "Master Sting brought it up with me earlier today-"

Lucy grimaced.

"-and we agreed that it would be productive to strengthening our guilds' relations if we were to work together. The two of us agreed that Team Natsu would cooperate with Sabertooth. Sting and his partner will be leading the job." Makarov raised an eyebrow at Lucy's pained groan. "Don't worry, you little brat. He seems reasonable enough."

A string of profanities pierced the air, and moments later Sting burst into the Master's office.

"Your guild has a pool," Sting hissed, pointing an accusing finger at Makarov.

Makarov blinked. "It does," he agreed amiably.

Visibly flustered, the esteemed Sabertooth guild master turned red enough that Lucy was beginning to have concerns about the state of his blood vessels.

"Your guild can't have a pool!" he sputtered.

"And why is that?" Makarov countered.

"My guild has a pool!" Sting wailed. "You copied us!"

"We didn't," Lucy said dryly. "We really, really didn't."

Apparently, that was the first moment that Sting had noticed her existence, and he stared at the celestial mage for a good, solid ten seconds, his mouth gaping like a dead fish.

Then, as quick as he came, he left, barrelling out the doors without the slightest regard to courtesy.

"'He seems reasonable,'" Lucy said blankly. "That's what you said. 'He seems reasonable.'"

Makarov sighed. "Seemed," he corrected himself. "At the time."

Lucy stared. "Obviously."


Sting, still fuming and more than a little ruffled, returned to his partner, who was seated at the bar and calmly sipping at a mug filled with god knows what. By the smell of it, something with way too much fruit and not enough alcohol.

The white dragon slayer slumped on a bar stool. "Gimme the strongest you have," he muttered into the wood of the counter. Mirajane shot him a sympathetic look perfected by years of comforting bawling drunkards.

Rogue turned an apathetic eye towards Sting.

"You," he said tonelessly, "are the biggest idiot I have ever had the misery of meeting."

"Love you too, buddy," Sting shot back half-heartedly.

"The pool?" Rogue continued, ignoring Sting completely. "That's what got you so riled up? Unbelievable. We should have picked Frosch as the master, for all that you're doing for Sabertooth's image."

Sting winced. "That was uncalled for."

Rogue turned on his seat to look his master and partner straight in the eye. "It really, really wasn't."

Mirajane wordlessly slid a tankard towards Sting before bustling off to tend to the other members of the guild that weren't moping.

The pungent stench of alcohol assaulted Sting's nose and, grabbing the massive tankard, threw back half of the drink with a single gulp.

And promptly choked.

"What the fu- What the hell is this stuff?" he wheezed, grabbing at his throat and willing the burning sensation to leave.

Rogue gingerly picked the tankard out of Sting's grasp and delicately sniffed. The shadow dragon slayer recoiled sharply.

His lip curled slightly. "Firewhiskey," he muttered, setting the mug down on the counter and pushing it as far away as possible. "Enough to make a dragon pass out."

Indeed, Sting was already feeling the effects of the potent drink. His vision was blurring slightly and he was feeling unsteady. The roof of his mouth felt glued to his tongue.

"Yo, Sting! Weird guy!" Natsu cheered. Rogue shot him a surly glare, to which Natsu was entirely immune. "Wanna fight? I'll kick your ass!"

Sting stared at his idol uncomprehendingly for a few moments, and before his brain could process the maverick wizard's request, Natsu's eyes had zeroed in on the firewhiskey.

"Whoa! Firewhiskey? Mira never let's me drink that. Gimme." Natsu unceremoniously snatched the tankard off the wooden surface of the bar and downed the rest of it in moments. Rogue looked on in horror.

And that is how a very mortified Lucy intruded on a very loud and very inappropriate debate on the pros and cons of different breast sizes.

Omake!

"I hate you," Lucy said, very calmly, "with every fiber of my being. I hope you die in the most horrifying way possible, and that you piss yourself while doing so."

Sting's prone form lay on her, his head nestled in between her goddamn breasts and stinking of alcohol and chilli peppers. The puddle of vomit disturbingly close to her hair was not helping matters. And neither was his partner, who seemed to be content with staring at her with those unnerving eyes and watching her struggle to get the white dragon slayer off of her before Natsu or god forbid Happy woke up from their drunken stupors and pitched a hissy fit. Or mock her with that stupid tongue rolling,

Stupid cat.

Stupid Sting.


A/N-

finals week is coming

i haven't studied

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

but on the other hand i updated so why do you care.

also i feel like my writing changed again sorry