A/N: Hehe. Haven't updated in awhile… not… so here you go! –Don't shoot me-

Remember that this story was never going to be one of my happier ones. Don't worry, though.

This is dedicated to Yellow Gummybear, for being my first review.

Love is… weird

Kairi stared at Sora with a newborn hatred as his crystal clear, azure eyes darted in a tear filled dance between herself and Riku. The look on the silveret's face told the brunet that he already knew that he had lost. Kairi on the other hand, was looking confident. A bit too confident.

"Well, Sora, who are you going to pick? Me…" she glanced at Riku in a disapproving way, before she moved her gaze back to Sora, "Or Riku?"

Riku was staring at the floor, dejected looking, while Sora was deciding, until, "Sora… You should go with Kairi… I am not good enough for you…" with that he started to walk off, mumbling.

The brunet stuttered, "W-wait! Riku, don't go… please!" But it was to no avail. He kept on walking and never looked back once, trying not to give in to the urge to look at Sora one last time.

"Yeah, you keep walking, you faggot!" Kairi yelled maliciously, while grinning. She then walked up to Sora and kissed him, quickly and roughly, as if saying 'You are mine'.

Sora wasn't paying attention to anything except for the slowly retreating figure of Riku.

Kairi was slowly dragging him to her car, talking to him, even if he wasn't listening. He wasn't taking anything in, except the fact that Riku was hurting; he was hurting because of him.

XXX

Riku sat on the side of his bed and stared at the wall, crying. How he hated himself for his girlish emotions.

I shouldn't have ever said anything to Sora. I should have just said that it was none of his business and left him alone! Why did I tell him that I loved him! That was supposed to stay a secret! I think maybe I should go see Axel… He would understand.

Axel had also gone through the whole 'unrequited love' situation with his boyfriend Roxas.

FLASHBACK

He had been in love with the blond for over three years before he did anything about it. The thing that hurt Axel the most was all the girls he would see with Roxas, knowing that they got to be with him and kiss him. Axel hated himself for liking another guy, even though he couldn't help it.

It was inevitable, though. Roxas was admired by everyone and was the A-student who could do no wrong. Not that he ever did do anything.

The redhead resorted to slitting his wrists in order to get the emotions out of him. It was his only way of getting relief from his everyday hell as Roxas' right hand man, his best friend and his… Gay friend. Not that Roxas knew he was gay until he confessed. But back to Axel's suicidal story…

They went to a pool party together once, as friends, because Namine, the blonds' girlfriend, had recently dumped him because he 'didn't pay enough attention to her'. Axel was excited because he would get to see Roxas without a shirt on but… Then he would also have to go shirtless… which meant that Roxas would be able to see his newly acquired tattoo, which were 3 black stars, one on each hip bone and one right above his… manhood.

Roxas would only be able to see two of them, thank god. They each represented one year, one year that Axel had been on love with Roxas and not told him. The tattoos on his face, the upside down purple teardrops under both eyes, were his 16 birthday present from Reno, his older brother.

He also had tattoos on his arms and wrists. The ones on his wrists were, on his left wrist, was a blue outline of a heart with a small gold crown on top, representing his love for all of his close friends, family and… Roxas. The one on his right was a red heart with a thick black outline and thorns piercing the heart and then surrounding it. It represented the two times that he had fallen in love with people and gotten his heart broken, even if the second time hadn't been voiced yet, and the first… was actually a girl. They were both thirteen and… she died in a car accident.

He still missed her green eyes and blonde hair… her high pitched voice… But Roxas was more important. Majorly more important than anything in his life. He always has to make sure that he never cut the tattoos on his wrists when he was cutting himself. He also had a few piercings. He had his belly pierced (On a dare… It actually looked rather sexy), his ears, a lip ring (Which he only put on when he was in a good mood, which was becoming decreasingly less) and a few piercings in his… lower regions.

At the party, which was in the evening, Roxas, being shirtless and tipsy was a bit too much for Axel to handle. The image of Roxas grinning like an idiot, darn his beautiful smile, while the water dripped down his chin to his lithe little body that was begging to be played with…his wet chest… perky nipples… his almost there abs… his v-line, from being on the swimming team… He was so amazingly, tantalizingly wet…

That was the first night that Axel had masturbated to thoughts of Roxas. But his older brother Reno had unthinkingly walked in just as he was moaning Roxas' name in ecstasy as he came.

Of course, his brother had grilled him about it, taunted him on being a 'fag' and threatening to tell Roxas, if he didn't do the older redheads homework.

He was so mortified at himself for masturbating to Roxas that he cut a little too deep and woke up the next morning in the hospital, Roxas crying beside him.

Roxas was the one who had found him, lying in a pool of his own blood, and called an ambulance. In the hospital, Axel finally confessed his love for Roxas. Roxas had shouted and yelled at him, called him offensive things and left.

Axel wanted to die this time. No more slitting. He wanted to slice and cut. He wanted out of this life, out of this hell where he was tortured by thoughts and feelings, feelings that could get him beaten up.

That night, Roxas had an ultimatum.

He actually did love Axel, but he just hadn't looked at him in that way before. He had never noticed how beautiful and amazing his best friend was. He had never seen his remarkable kindness, hilarious sense of humor, never-ending patience and passion before. Or the way that his impossibly green eyes would light up when he paid attention to the redhead, praising him or even just talking to him. Also, Axel would always defend Roxas, even against Seifer, the towns bully. Another thing he noticed was that in all the time that he had known Axel, he had never seen him with anyone, boy or girl. The thought of Axel, his Axel, with anyone else made him get this weird feeling in his stomach.

He really loved Axel, even if he hadn't realized it until now.

He decided that he wasn't gay. It was just Axel. He only had eyes for the redhead. The goof that could always make him smile, no matter what.

Roxas went to see Axel once he was released from the hospital again, hoping that he could still salvage the relationship from ruin.

Axel was on sitting on the bathroom floor again, his tattooed arms wrapped around his knees, holding a knife with tears streaming. He hadn't cut himself yet and Roxas was heartbroken, merely at the sight of his best friend so sad and desolated.

He went and sat next to him, muttering a small "Hey."

The redhead didn't even look at him. He kept staring at the floor, biting his lip to keep the wails and sobs back, his eyes red from crying. All Axel did was nod, as if he was acknowledging that Roxas was there, but also that he didn't really care.

Roxas had felt awkward while trying to figure out what to say to Axel. Maybe he could just say sorry and then just tell him his feelings? Roxas was lost in his thoughts and didn't even notice Axel raising the knife to his wrist.

The blond heard a hissed intake of breath and glanced at Axel, seeing the dripping blood and the pain and excitement in the redhead's teary eyes. He immediately grabbed the knife and threw it out of the bath room before he grabbed Axel by the neck and dragged him into a kiss.

Axel was shocked and scared. He would have gasped, but his lips were a little bit busy. This was all that he had ever wanted to kiss the blond one last time before leaving earth. He made the most of it and began to tentatively respond, before he started to respond cautiously. They eventually separated and when they did… Roxas hugged Axel like he was the most important thing in the world, crying and whimpering Axel's name.

"Roxas? W-why…?" Axel had whimpered into the blond hair that smelled like vanilla. Roxas began to kiss Axel everywhere within his reach. His neck, chin, jaw, lips, nose, cheeks, eyelids, temple, forehead, hair and then he took his hand. He kissed his hand softly with his eyes closed, sniffing.

"Please, Axel, don't ever, ever, ever, ever think about killing yourself again!" He had whispered into Axel's hand, his voice breaking when he said Axel's name.

"… No one would miss me," Axel said and then cupped Roxas' cheek, "Y'know… It was always you. I never stopped thinking about you, ever. I never wanted to be without you, but if you hated me… then I wouldn't want to be anywhere. You… are all I have ever wanted. Kind, sweet, gentle, funny, honest, loyal, adorable, lovable, caring, passionate, beautiful, inside and out… and never within my reach…" He then kissed Roxas' right cheek, his hand still caressing the other cheek.

"B-but… I am within your reach, Axel. I am so sorry about how I reacted… I was being so ignorant and stupid. I want to tell you something…" He leaned into the hand that was caressing his cheek softly while closing his eyes. His hand felt so warm and comforting, something the blond could get used to.

"What is it?" Axel whispered softly, his eyes still tearing up as he looked at Roxas, whose eyes were still closed, as he leaned into his hand.

"I realized… last night… I love you. I always have… but I only realized that I was in love with you after the hospital. Please forgive me! I never meant those things in the hospital! I was confused and scared…"

Axel looked disbelieving, frowning slightly, his lips pouting, "Then why did you put me through years of torture, of me dying for your affection and attention? I was always with you… always wanting you… always loving you…" Axel sighed and let a few tears roll down his cheeks.

"Axel… I am so sorry for what I put you through. How do you think I feel, knowing that I caused someone to try and kill themselves? Someone I cared for deeply. I just never saw you in that way until now… Please Axel… I love you so much…" Roxas buried his face in Axel's neck, crying tears of guilt.

"Roxas… Roxas, i-it's… Okay now. I am not going to leave you. If I had known this sooner than I would have never tried to kill myself…" He pulled back so that he could see the blonds' angelic face, "Look at me…" He whispered softly before he kissed Roxas gently, caressing his lips with his own. How long he had yearned to taste those beautiful lips… he didn't know. But he was happy. Happier than he had ever been with Larxene or anyone else.

When Roxas pushed his tongue into Axel's mouth… the redhead almost died from the amazingly sensual feeling. It felt so right and good and made him feel all tingly inside. It was still gentle and innocent, the kiss was. Hands did wander, and moans were emitted… but they now knew the love that they felt for each other was right.

END FLASHBACK

Riku sighed as he remembered the story of Axel and Roxas… It was so sweet and inspiring. He could somewhat relate to them, except there was no girlfriend involved with Axel and Roxas. Nothing could have stopped them except themselves.

He walked downstairs to get his car keys, but he saw a message on his phone.

Riku… Please call me. I need to speak to you.

Love, Sora XXX

Riku sighed and then put his phone in his pocket. Maybe he would phone Sora later when he didn't feel so depressed. The silveret walked out of his flat and locked it, before he headed over to the elevator. He pressed the button and waited for the corresponding 'ding!' Once it came, and the elevator opened, he got inside and leaned against the wall as the doors closed again.

Once downstairs, he went straight to his car and drove to Axel's place. Roxas was living with Axel, and they were oh, so happy together. It made Riku jealous and happy at the same time.

Three knocks and then the door opened. Roxas opened, wearing a pick apron that said, "Get me a beer, woman!" and a picture of a man sitting on a couch. Riku chuckled and then hugged Roxas.

"Hey, Rox. Nice apron." He said and then got a slap on his back from Roxas. They pulled away from each other and then walked into the kitchen, were Axel was 'trying' to make cookies. The redhead was cutting the dough into small hearts and stars, flour all over himself.

"Hey Riks, long time no see, hey buddy?" He gave Riku a friendly hug before he pecked Roxas on the cheek and went back to cutting the dough.

"Yeah, hey Ax…" He said in a not-so-excited voice, while Roxas and Axel exchanged looks.

"What happened? And don't give me some shit like 'it's nothing' or 'I'm fine' or I swear I will cut off your—" Roxas cut him off with a raised hand.

"Riku… What happened?" He asked is a cautious voice.

"I-It's… It's Sora… He was going to propose to Kairi, and I sort of ran away from him and I was crying and then I told him that I loved him and then he kissed me and the—"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! What did you say? Speak slowly, Riku." Axel said while Roxas gazed at Riku with a confused look.

"He kissed you? Wow." He said in awe, while grinning at Riku.

"But then Kairi saw us kissing! And then Sora went with her… then she called me faggot." He sat down on their red couch and let his head fall into his hands.

Axel stood up, an angry look on his chiseled face, "That bitch! I hate her!" Roxas calmed him down and then took Riku's hands in his own.

"Riks, its all going to work out. I know Sora and he hates it when he is told what to do. Has he tried to call you yet?"

"Yeah… he sent me a message but I haven't replied yet… I don't know what to say." He looked uncertain of himself for a second but then his face went neutral.

"Phone him! Phone him, NOW!" Axel yelled, making Roxas and Riku jump, "You can't miss this chance, Riku!"

"Okay… I'll be right back…" They both smiled at the silver haired man and then went back to making their 'love cookies'.

XXX

A/N: Wow… that was long It basically wrote itself Review!