Beep.
Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
She was pacing. She'd been pacing for a while. Kara just couldn't bring herself to leave Alex...and neither could J'onn it seemed. Alex hadn't left either of their eyesights since they'd left that hellhole. Kara was starting to really stress over the fact that Alex had passed out right before backup had arrived to pick them up and had yet to regain consciousness.
That was twelve hours before.
Alex was lying there in a medical bed hooked up to too many monitors and IVs and too many...everything. Her sister looked sick, which made it all worse. Even though Kara knew that Alex was no longer in pain, thanks to actual pain meds, Kara swore Alex looked worse than she had when her leg had first been broken. How was that even possible?
"Are we sure they're the best?" Kara suddenly questioned.
"You know they are," J'onn told her as he looked up from where he'd been sitting.
She didn't know how he could sit and seem so calm. The doctors had said that Alex was fine, but they hadn't said anything about Alex being unconscious for so long. They just said she'd wake up when her body was ready… That wasn't good enough for Kara. She needed to know Alex was going to be okay.
Erndine Ze-Da had been escorted and imprisoned in one of their special cells for Kryptonians. All Kara kept thinking of everytime she closed her eyes...what flashed in her brain...was Erndine hurting Alex. It was too much.
"Oh my God!" Kara suddenly exclaimed as she came to a halt and looked over to Alex.
"What is it?" J'onn asked as he moved forward in the chair.
"Eliza…"
She had been so caught up in making sure that Alex was okay and that they'd checked everything, every inch of her about fifty times. Kara had especially been concerned about the patching up that she and Hank had done together. The entire time, worst case scenarios had run through her head. All she had wanted was her sister back.
She needed Alex.
"I never called her," Kara told him.
She felt sick, for multiple reasons. There was the fact that she was going to actually have tell Eliza that Alex was hurt, that she had actually died at one point, and that she was in critical condition still. There was also the fact that it had been over twelve hours since they'd gotten to the DEO. Then there was the fact that all she'd been able to smell since they'd gotten to the DEO was the coppery smell of Alex's blood. She and J'onn hadn't left Alex, so both of them still had some of Alex's blood on them...and then it just seemed everywhere.
"Call her now."
"What do I even say?" Kara asked, almost breaking down at the thought of it.
It was her fault.
She should have protected Alex.
Eliza had never wanted Alex to be working for the DEO. Working for the DEO was how Jeremiah had died all those years before… She'd warned them, warned them both. Kara felt tears bubbling to the surface. At Thanksgiving, Eliza had warned them about Hank Henshaw, but that had been a different man. Eliza didn't know their Hank Henshaw was J'onn J'onzz. Kara couldn't explain that to Eliza, it wasn't her secret to tell.
It was quiet for a moment and then J'onn spoke. "I could call-"
"No!" Kara said quickly. She cringed and found herself fidgeting a bit as she tried to think. "No… It's just...Eliza blames you...blames Hank...for Jeremiah's death...and she warned us...and...and she didn't want this for Alex...for either of us...and-"
"Kara, breathe," J'onn instructed.
She didn't think she could do that.
Kara turned back to look at Alex, her back to J'onn. She just didn't know how she was going to tell Eliza what happened. Was she even allowed to give Eliza details? A question for J'onn before the call, she thought. Kara just wanted to know what to tell her before she made the call. "She's going to want to come...to see Alex...to be here with her."
Kara heard him push out a breath. "We could have Alex transferred to a hospital...but I'd rather she stay here," J'onn voiced. "I feel like she's safer...for a lot of reasons."
And Kara agreed.
Silence.
Finally, J'onn spoke again. "I'll grant her access...because of Alex. It's not like she doesn't know anything about the DEO already…"
"Can I tell her anything else?" Kara asked as she stared at Alex.
How was she going to answer the questions that Eliza had?
Alex would know what to do.
Alex would say the right things.
"Tell her that you can tell her more in person...when she gets here," J'onn told Kara.
Eliza wouldn't like that, but at least she'd know what went on. Kara just was afraid to see the look on her face...when she was told what happened...when she saw Alex… It was her fault. She should have taken care of her sister. She should have protected Alex. How many times had Alex warned her about being Supergirl? She'd warned her about exposing herself...exposing who she REALLY was...and now, Alex was paying the price. Erndine had only taken Alex because she'd noticed that both J'onn (as Hank Henshaw) and Alex were with her on so many occasions.
She'd endangered Alex.
"She's not going to be pleasant when she gets here…" Kara warned.
"I remember why…" J'onn told her.
Kara looked back over at him. She had questions, but she could fill in the blanks and right now...it just didn't seem like the right time to dive into that bottle of questions. "She has valid reasons, but I think...I hope...she'll focus on Alex."
"She's going to be okay, Kara."
For some reason, it was those words that made her break down. Her hand came up and covered her face as tears fell and sobs erupted from her chest. Kara's other arm snaked around herself, as if she were hugging herself. Surprising her, J'onn got up and hugged her. She'd hugged him before...until he requested that she stop. This was different. This was like a father comforting a daughter. She held tight to him and cried on his shoulder.
"I'm scared," Kara admitted in a whisper.
Even though months before, she might have said that her mother was the person that she'd loved the most in her entire life...Kara had realized over those months upon finding out all of the lies of her childhood on Krypton that really...really the person that she loved the most in her entire existence was Alex. Alex had been a sister to Kara, a new experience...and one that she didn't think she could live without now. If Krypton somehow magically reappeared, Kara wouldn't go...she wouldn't just leave Alex behind.
"It's okay to be scared sometimes," he told her.
Kara pulled away first. She wiped tears away and just nodded. "We should probably both shower...and change," she pointed out. Kara really didn't want to leave Alex alone, but she knew that she'd be okay leaving her for a short amount of time if J'onn was there to watch over Alex. It would be easy enough for Kara to be back in a blink if she needed to be.
"You go… Make the call to Doctor Danvers," J'onn told her. "You might want to check your cell phone while you're at it… Cat Grant might have wondered where you've been. I know that that doesn't seem like it matters to you right now...but you've stressed at how important that job is…"
He was right.
She hadn't even thought about her job.
"Go home. Eat something. Shower. Change. Bring a bag back with you."
Kara hated the thought of how long that could take her, but kept telling herself that it wouldn't actually be as long as it would feel to her. "I'll pick up some things for Alex...while I'm out."
"I think she'd appreciate that."
When she got home and actually looked at her cell phone, she noticed that she not only had several missed calls, voicemails, and text messages...but also e-mails. Kara couldn't deal with that, not yet.
Instead, she called Eliza.
Ring.
Ring. Ring.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Kara started to worry that she wouldn't pick up. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, she could leave a message or Eliza could simply call her back. For this, though, she really needed Eliza to pick up. This was something that couldn't wait.
"Hello? Kara, Honey? Everything okay?"
Blinking, Kara realized she hadn't even looked at the time before calling Eliza. "Uh…" Suddenly her voice broke and she couldn't keep calm. All she could think about was Alex being beaten by Erndine. "I'm sorry…"
"Kara, what's wrong?" Eliza asked, her tone serious, strong, and parental.
"Alex...Alex is hurt," Kara got out. "It's bad. The doctors say that she's going to be okay, but...and I-I should have called you earlier...but I just-I couldn't think clearly and-"
"Where is she, Kara?"
"The DEO."
Silence.
Eliza hated her, Kara felt in that moment.
Silence.
Eliza finally spoke again. "I'm on the next flight," Eliza told her. "You tell whoever is in charge there that I will see my daughter-"
"Hank's already approved it, he said that I can fill you in on the mission details face to face," Kara filled in without thinking about her words.
"Hank?" Eliza questioned immediately, her voice filling with anger. "Hank Henshaw?"
Crap.
Kara wanted to tell her that it wasn't what she thought. She wanted to tell Eliza that it was J'onn J'onzz...to tell her the whole story. She couldn't. Everything Eliza thought...it was going to make things harder for them all. She didn't know the whole truth, though. That was hard. For them all.
"He's Alex's boss," Kara said slowly.
"I warned you two!" Eliza started to scold angrily. She was quiet for a long beat before she spoke again, this time calmer. "You can tell me her injuries."
"Yes," Kara said instantly and tried to remember them all. "Broken ribs-"
"How many?" Eliza snapped immediately.
"Four and three fractured ribs." She could hear Eliza's sharp intake of breath, but pushed through, hoping that she wouldn't be stopped. "Bruised lung. Broken leg." Kara took a breath and knew she needed to be specific. Eliza would expect specific. "Compound fracture. Tibia and fibula." She tried to think if she missed anything. "I-I think that's it… Lots of bruises," she added a breath later.
"The doctors have seen her?"
"She's already been into surgery and she's under constant doctor's watch," Kara informed her.
"I'll text you the details of my flight as soon as I have them."
"Eliza?"
"I'll see you soon, Kara," Eliza said gruffly before hanging up.
Kara let out a shaky gasp before saying the words that had been meant for Eliza's ears. "I'm sorry."
Slowly, her hand lowered and she finally looked down at her phone. Tears were shed, but she kept wiping them away like they hadn't fallen. It seemed like everyone from work had called. She went back and forth on who to call first. Did she call Ms. Grant? Did she call Winn? Did she call James? She knew that if she called James that he could talk to Winn and Ms. Grant, but she knew that Winn wouldn't appreciate that.
Pushing aside what Winn would feel, she called James, covering her face with the back of her hand as she paced. She half wished it went to voicemail. He'd check it immediately, so she knew that he'd get any message she left.
But he picked up...and he was worried as he spoke quickly. "Kara? Hey. Are you okay? Everyone's been-"
"Alex is...she's hurt really bad...and I just..." Tears and sobs threatened to take over once again. "I can't be there at CatCo right now, can you-"
"I'll take care of it," James said so gently. "Kara, are you okay?"
"No...I mean, physically yes...but it's Alex…" she said and was barely keeping it together.
"What can I do, besides talk to Cat and I'll bring Winn up to speed?"
"I don't know," she half cried. "She's unconscious...and-"
"Take a book. Read to her. Just talk to her, Kara… I know it sounds stupid and you see it in all the movies, but Alex will hear your voice...she'll hear something familiar…"
"Winn," she whispered. "Tell Winn that I need all the 'Doctor Who' reboot episodes digitally back to back, he'll know what I mean."
"Okay, okay...I'll tell him," James said. "She's going to be okay, Kara."
"Thanks," she barely got out without breaking down before hanging up.
Kara felt drained, it felt almost as bad to her as when she'd blown out her powers. She'd spent, she didn't know how long, in the shower just crying...sobbing...wailing. Her mind kept forcing her to relive what had happened to Alex. All she kept hearing was the sounds, the metallic smell of blood in the air, and then hearing Eliza…
She'd failed.
She'd failed them all.
With Eliza coming into town, she knew that she needed to take this time. Kara needed the time to break down. She forced herself to get dressed and pack her bag. She'd gone to Alex's and picked up a few things.
As she entered the DEO, she got a lot of looks, but she didn't care. This was all stuff that Alex needed. Things that only Kara knew Alex would need. Maybe James was right, maybe...maybe all she needed was to be in Alex's room...talking to her...letting her know that she was there.
J'onn was still in Alex's room, sitting at her bedside, he was holding her hand and talking to her. From what Kara heard, he was just telling her about DEO things...just anything and everything. Though Alex probably wouldn't argue about his chosen topic, Kara was certain that her sister would have loved to hear about Mars and his life there...before the White Martians…
"You look better...under the bedroom you brought with you," J'onn told her.
Kara found herself smiling just a little in response. "I wanted Alex to be as comfortable as possible," Kara informed him. She set some things down on the empty chair in the room before moving to Alex's bedside. Kara started by adjusting Alex's position just slightly and sliding her pillows from home under and around her. Next, she moved to switch Alex out of the stupid hospital socks they'd stuck on her and replaced them with fluffy brightly colored socks. Those socks were likely the ONLY brightly colored clothing item that her sister owned, which was likely due to the fact that Kara had been the one to buy them for Alex (who had acted disgusted when Kara had first given them to her, but then she'd worn them all the movie nights they'd had).
"I have Winn putting together a 'Doctor Who' marathon for Alex," Kara said. She looked over her shoulder to J'onn. "You should come back and watch."
"Perhaps I will...in a while," he said. Kara didn't expect him to stay and marathon the entire series, but she knew that Alex would appreciate him being there (though at the same time, she knew that he had work to do). "Did you talk to Doctor Danvers?"
Kara froze and sucked in a heavy breath. "I think she hates me…"
"She's just upset," J'onn told her. "Once Alex wakes up and starts to move around, Doctor Danvers will let go of any anger she has...at least towards you." He put a hand on Kara's shoulder. "You're her daughter, too."
Did that matter right now?
She'd thought about that growing up in the Danvers household, especially after Jeremiah had died-had been killed. When she was younger, when she'd first joined the Danvers family, Kara had worried about the Danvers not wanting her anymore. What if she hadn't wanted to have to deal with two teenage daughters? What if she'd done something wrong? Of course, Alex had always tried to cover for her growing up.
"I don't feel like a good daughter right now."
"You're a good daughter, Kara, and a good sister" he challenged.
"I don't know if I've ever disappointed Eliza...at least, not before I became Supergirl."
"Just wait… She'll be here. She'll be happy that you're okay. She'll be happy when Alex wakes up," J'onn insisted. "And if all else fails… My presence will distract all of her negative emotions from you...to me."
Kara tilted her head and just stared at him for a long moment. "That's not fair-"
"It's okay, Kara."
"It's not! You're not-" she started to argue, but the look on his face made her stop.
"What time is Doctor Danvers landing?"
"A few hours."
"Give me about a thirty minute warning before you leave, then I'll sit with her while you pick her up," J'onn said gently before heading out of the room and leaving Kara alone with Alex.
Watching him as he went, Kara felt terrible. It really wasn't fair to him, but he was right, too. Alex needed Eliza there...and Eliza deserved to be there for her daughter.
Turning back to Alex, she let out a shaky breath. "So...Eliza's coming… I know your mom being in town is stressful...but I think you need her…" Kara got really quiet, "More than you need me…"
She kept waiting...expecting...Alex to speak...to wake up and answer her. But that didn't happen and it just made it all harder. Kara stowed her bag in the corner behind one of the chairs and stacked the bag of Alex's clothes on top. She scooted the other chair all the way up to the bed, moved the railing down, and sat so that she was laying her head against the bed while she held tightly as she dared to Alex's hand.
"Please wake up, Alex," Kara whispered. She blinked back tears and thought about what James had told her before. "I've been told that I should talk to you… None of the books looked interesting enough… I was afraid that they'd keep you from actually waking up." She paused for a moment. "How about I tell you about Krypton? It's been a long time since we've talked about it…"
"Kara?"
Her thoughts were with Alex.
"Kara?"
Her eyes snapped open and she found herself automatically squeezing Alex's hand as she realized the voice belonged to J'onn. She sat up and turned her head, apparently she'd fallen asleep there at Alex's bedside at some point.
"Doctor Danvers-"
"Oh my God!" Kara exclaimed and panic rushed through her. She was supposed to get Eliza from the airport and bring her to the DEO to see Alex.
J'onn held up a hand to stop her before she could continue. "I looked up Doctor Danver's flight. The plane hasn't landed yet," he said gently. "I saw you asleep...and I wanted you to be able to sleep for as long as possible. There's a car waiting to take you." He gave her a stern look. "I know that you probably don't want someone telling you what to do," he said, but there was also gentleness and concern in his voice. "But I really don't want you out flying around right now… You're too exhausted and too emotional."
He was also making valid points.
"Okay," she finally said with a nod. "You're right." She got up from the chair and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose before running fingers through her hair to make sure she didn't look like hell. Kara felt irrationally like she needed to be presentable when she picked up Eliza from the airport. She didn't know why it mattered, but she could hear Alex's voice in her head telling her that Eliza would be concerned...and then she'd have to hear about it. She moved to grab her purse even though she doubted she'd need it and double checked to make sure her phone and anything else she may need was in there.
"At least wait until Alex can be the one to scold you for your bad decisions," he told her with a slight smirk.
Kara couldn't help but smile at that until she looked over at Alex's unconscious form and then the smile dropped. "I was hoping she'd be awake by now...that when Eliza got here she'd somehow look less…"
"Less like she got beaten to death?"
Looking back at J'onn, she just nodded a bit. "I just...I wanted Eliza to get here and things not to seem so...grim."
"There's still time," J'onn pointed out. "And I will call you if anything changes while you're gone." He moved to the chair that Kara had been sitting in and took up residence in it. "The team that will be escorting you already knows what measures to take-"
"You're not going to blindfold her, are you?"
It wasn't unusual for the DEO to throw a bag over someone's head during transport. Kara really didn't think that was going to help with Eliza's mood. Sure, she understood the need for secrecy...especially since the DEO was technically not supposed to exist. But still…
"The windows have been blacked out in the back and there's a blackout divider in between the front and back," J'onn told her. "I hope that that will ease the transition here for Doctor Danvers."
She hoped that it would too.
"Thank you," she told him before she left the room. It was hard for her to leave Alex. Really hard. J'onn being there, knowing he wasn't going to leave her sister's side, that was the only way that she could leave. Not only did J'onn act as a protector (one that was superpowered at that), but he also genuinely cared about Alex.
They'd gotten to the airport with a buffer, they'd even stopped and picked up the 'Doctor Who' marathon from Winn. The flight wasn't even taxing yet. 'Hank' had even made arrangements for Kara to be at the terminal when Eliza got off the plane. She wasn't sure if that was really the best plan, Kara wasn't certain of the response she would receive from her adopted mother.
So, she stood there, nervous and fidgeting with her hands. Kara kept fighting back tears as thoughts of Alex and worst case scenarios with Eliza flashed through her head. Biting her lower lip, she started to pace for a moment until they reported that Eliza's plane was currently taxing and would be at the terminal she was waiting at within minutes.
Once the plane had connected to the terminal umbilical, Kara realized that she was really the only one standing outside of the terminal. There was an airline employee with a piece of paper, apparently to tell people where their connecting flights were...but other than that...it was just her. That made it harder...and though it was normally always good to see Eliza, this was so hard...and terrifying.
Slowly, people started to come off the plane.
Kara's emotions mixed more and more and she was just so incredibly nervous.
When Eliza finally was in her line of sight, Kara's emotions just pushed into overdrive. It was the uncertainty that was killing her. She had never been the one in 'trouble' or that had been disappointing...at least...not really. This, though, was something else. Alex had technically died at one point...and she'd had to undergo surgeries… It was serious and the fact that Alex still hadn't woken up was going to make it all harder.
"Kara," Eliza breathed when she saw her and was moving quickly towards her, a bag slung over her shoulder.
Sucking in a breath, she tried to steady her nerves and her emotions. She'd told herself that she needed to hold it together. "Eliza, I'm-" Before she could say anything more, Eliza was hugging her and hugging her tight.
"I'm so glad you're okay, you're okay, right?" Eliza questioned as she pulled back to look her over.
Kara was a bit shocked that that was the reaction, but she just nodded. Finally, she found her voice. "I'm...I'm fine."
"You don't seem fine…"
"I was worried...you'd be mad at me…hate me..."
Eliza wrapped an arm around her and they started towards the exit. "I'm...upset...but Kara, I love you. No matter what, you're still my daughter…" Eliza was looking directly at her now. "I will never hate you. You need to remember that."
"It's my fault Alex-"
"Kara, we can talk about fault and blame and mistakes later," Eliza told her gently. "Right now, I want to see Alex and I want to hear how this all happened…"
"In the car," Kara requested. "It's waiting."
When they finally arrived at the DEO vehicle, Eliza didn't say anything about the blackout windows or the partition between the front and the back, though Kara was suddenly grateful that they'd installed additional lights along the roof. At least it was private and that's what they needed.
"We were all out in the field," Kara started once the vehicle started to move. "There was good intel that there was at least one, if not more, Fort Rozz escapees-"
"Fort Rozz?"
Kara had to stop and remember that even though Eliza knew much, she didn't know everything. "When my ship pulled from the Phantom Zone, it pulled a prison with it...a prison that my mother sentenced many criminals to...Fort Rozz." Eliza didn't need to know everything, but at least that was the jist of it. "That's what I've been helping the DEO with. That's what Alex's job is." That, of course, she realized after she said it probably didn't make things sound better or safer for Alex.
"Did you find the criminal?"
"Well, sort of…" Kara mumbled. How did she phrase it? "We were there with other DEO agents and Hank and-" She paused only for a moment when Eliza sucked in a breath. Kara knew that this wasn't going to be easy. "There was a flash...the entire sky lit up...and I-I fell...everyone was knocked out." She paused for a moment. "Alex, Hank, and I were taken...because of me. The criminal we were pursuing was a Kryptonian scientist...someone who did horrible things...experiments...made people into monsters...that's why she was sent to Fort Rozz. She knew that Hank and Alex were connected to me...I guess she was watching…" Pausing again, Kara sucked in a breath. "She...hurt Alex...to torture me…"
"But she didn't hurt Hank?"
"She, uh...she was going to...and then we found a way out and we got...rescued," she tried to explain as simply as possible.
"What has been done for Alex?"
"We set the bone in the field and closed and cleaned the wound, immobilized it-"
"What else?"
This felt like a test, but Kara knew that Eliza just wanted information. The thing was that Kara had been more concerned about IF Alex was going to be okay rather than everything they did. So, she took a moment and thought back. "They gave her pain meds and a tetanus booster and a dose of antibiotics...they put screws in and a plate…they casted it...and the doctor said that there really shouldn't be a huge scar…"
"But will she be able to do her job after this?"
That question caught Kara by surprise. "That's what we're hoping for. Hank made sure that Alex has had the best… She's going to need physical therapy and she's going to have to take it slow. But..she should be able to…"
"Has she woken up yet?"
Kara shook her head and looked away.
TBC…
