Chapter 3 - Stars And Exploding Suns
The salty air was sticky and sizzling under the golden summer sun. Walking from the bus station they arrived to the beach in no time. Kieren took the whole sight in: miles and miles of beach, colorful lines of summer houses and beach huts and ice-cream/drinks huts, clear water, sunny sky. The beach wasn't as full as they'd expected, only a few parents with boisterous children of all ages, teens listening to music and playing beach games or surfing. PDS and living: peacefully sharing the same beach.
"It's gorgeous!" Kieren's voice was high-pitched with excitement. In his moment of bliss he tried to take a deep breath, to take another sensory reminder of the marvelous place. Upon failing to smell anything or drag air into his lungs, his previous beaming smile vanished. That didn't escape Simon's careful eye.
"Is it over again?" His voice was shaking with worries, even though he tried to keep it toneless.
Kieren shook his head, trying to hide how hurt he was. "Don't matter. It probably is a good sign right?" From the corner of his eyes he saw Simon fumble with his hands, unsure what to do: hug him, take his hand? So Kieren took his hand and shot him a charming smile. "Come on then, show me the beach."
A soft smile appeared on Simon's lips. "Alright." His voice was more modulated now, almost excited, losing its low gruff sound. "I'm not a beach expert, though, you know?"
Kieren chuckled. They walked slowly, bumping into each other carelessly. "Have you been here before?" He asked with curiosity.
"Once." Suddenly the sand became incredibly fascinating for Simon. "But that's not why I brought you here." He stated matter-of-factly. "I just remembered it was a beautiful beach. I thought you'd like it too, that's all." He turned to look back at Kieren and his questioning look.
"D'you come here wit yer family?" Kieren's voice was low. Simon had told him what happened with his family, and he didn't want to touch a sensible nerve.
"I must've been ten or so." Simon said quietly. He released a little breathy chuckle. "I liked it because it was so vast and I didn't have to see anyone if I didn't want to." They walked until they reached a remote point. Kieren pulled out a beach towel from his backpack and arranged it nicely on the golden sand. He knew what Simon meant. The beach was perfect for any type of person: antisocial, life-of-the-party, stay-the-hell-away-or-I'll-murder-you aka the Garys out there.
They let themselves fall on the towel, watching the beach and calm sea in silence. It was obvious that Simon stopped sharing details from his childhood-as-a-pessimist-with-depressive-tendencies memoir, so Kieren wanted to cheer him up.
After a long moment of silence he spoke. "You know how I said I never visited the sea?" Kieren's voice was playful.
"Uhuh." Simon turned to him, eyes wide and shiny.
"Well, that means I didn't swim before either." He beamed in mock-innocence. "Care to teach me?"
Simon squeezed his lips into a thin line. "Okay." He looked down at Kieren's hands and took them in his. Kieren face slipped involuntarily into an excited puppy face. They stood up and undressed to their swimming pants, well, Simon did while Kieren observed him meticulously: the chest with toned muscles, the strong arms, and broad shoulders. "You coming?" His attractive husky voice broke Kieren's fascinated examination.
"Not quite yet." He joked before finally undressing too, revealing his lean pale body.
Their part of the beach was remote, carefully picked out of everyone's nosey gaze. They took off their contact lenses and discarded them carefully among their belongings. Finishing first, Kieren ran backwards a few steps. "Do you need some help with that, old man?"
Simon rushed in his direction, trying to grab his waist but Kieren was faster. He chuckled. "You're already slippery as a fish, you don't need me."
"Maybe- " Kieren stopped his jumping and running. He came towards Simon, and then leaned in for a quick kiss. "- but I want you." Saying that he walked hand in hand with Simon towards the place where the water gently washes the hot sands of the shore.
"Ready?" Simon's low voice was very close to his ear, urging him into action.
He walked on the wet sand, waiting for the small crest of a wave to wash over his feet. He didn't feel it, of course, but he closed his eyes. He imagined it would be just like they in the books he'd read: tingly foam brushing gently and caressing the skin, warm water reawakening the senses of the sun-scorched skin, little dance of layers of water disorienting as they remove tiny grains of sand from under his feet. He opened his eyes, aware of Simon's concerned and fascinated gaze. He took another step towards the water, and another and another, not needing any accommodation with its temperature. Simon followed him close, still holding his hands. When the water rose past his ankles, every step became harder to make, waves threatening to unbalance him. Kieren's lips arched in a blissful smile.
By the time he reached an area where the water rose well past his hips, Simon moved in front of him leading the way. Kieren followed him growing more and more anxious when the water level was below his nipples.
"Trust me." Simon calmly said. "Move your arms back and forth – in gentle circular motions." He ordered and Kieren obeyed, a little crease forming between his brows. "Don't fight the water." He held Kieren by the waist. "The secret is not to panic. I'm next to you, nothing bad is gonna happen." Kieren nodded. "Now lift your feet off the bottom." Still holding his waist tight, Simon observed Kieren slowly relax. "See, you're floating." He calmly gave enthusiastically encouragements. "Now drop." Simon said toneless.
"Wut?" Kieren answered in a high-pitch.
"Like you were falling on your bed. It will feel easier than that, actually." Simon said, this time expressing more emotion in his voice. He put his hand on either sides of Kieren's waist.
For a long instant Kieren looked at Simon with a raised brow. Was he insane? "Well, it's not like I can die, can I?" Kieren threw the witty remark and seconds later he was gently led on his belly by careful hands.
"Keep your head above the water." Simon moved his hand to Kieren's forehead to lift if up.
Shaking out of balance and a little scared, Kieren started kicking at the water. "JEsUS fuck just don't let me go!" Cristal clear water splashed all over Simon, sticking stripes of black hair together. Soon enough he looked like the most adorable hedgehog. Kieren chuckled softly and relaxed.
Simon moved his hand back on his waist, holding him securely. "Okay, just move your arms and legs now. Circular movements." Like in a weird game of 'Simon said' – the PDS beach edition – Simon commanded and Kieren obeyed. "Alright – relax, Kier."
"I am relaxed!" Kieren said in a wobbly voice, cracking Simon up. "It's not funny!"
Simon pulled the inexperienced swimmer towards deeper water. "It'll be easier to swim here." He held him in place as the blond tried not to panic, moving his arms and legs in chaotic circles. After about a while, though, he managed to coordinate the kick, and Simon let go.
Simon let go of him and swam a few steps away. Kieren watched him as his muscular body split the water for a second, sparkly droplets clinging to his skin and taking their flight in the sunlit air. His head emerged from under the water, a pale hand whipping away the bothering droplets on his face. He passed a hand through his hair and Kieren was lost – he loved this new look: smiling face, spiky hair and hopefully a beard soon. "Swim here." Simon held his arms wide open, waiting for Kieren to test his newly learned skills. He was still goofy, but at least he didn't panic anymore. "Great job!" After he reached him, Simon pulled him in his arms. He cupped his face and rewarded him with a kiss.
Kieren smiled, his lips softly brushing against Simon's. "Yeah? Well, you're a lousy teacher." He hit the other man's chest gently in mock-anger.
"How can I make it up to you, I wonder?" Simon pulled Kieren back in his personal space, their noses softly grazing every time a small wave pushed them against each other. He passed his hand through his lover's blond hair, slicking it back so he could better see his face. Kieren rolled his eyes. He reached his hands behind Simon's neck, pulling him towards his lips. The kiss was long and wet and salty, slightly warm – their bodies being warmed by the sea. Kieren pulled away.
"I felt that!" His eyes were wide and sparkling with surprise.
Simon smirked. "How about this?" His lips met Kieren's once again, and once again the blond felt it. He tasted the salt on his boyfriend's lips mixed with the sweetness of the covering-mousse; he felt small grains of sand and salt on his skin, and hot spots warmed by the sun, on his toned body.
"YES!" Kieren's voice was tremulous with excitement. He took a step back, punched the water and felt it. It was warm as his hand hit its surface he felt the pain like a billion tiny ants dancing the Macarena in his veins. The hotness of the sun and the wind on his skin felt like a blowtorch warming him up after years of frosty sleep.
He pushed his lips against Simon's, this time deepening the kiss and taking in every sensation. His hands explored his wet body, in search of a tactile confirmation of his appearance: he felt the slippery texture of the skin, the tingling of his hair and firmness of his muscles, the sharpness of his hipbones… until he couldn't feel anymore. He stopped; he pulled away. He leaned his forehead in the crook of Simon's neck, letting his arms dangle by his sides. He wasn't cured completely yet. This had been just another mean tease from his body.
Simon held him in his embrace, stroking his back for comfort. "This time it lasted longer." He shot Kieren a soothing smile.
"Yeah." A quick smile grazed Kieren's lips. He took a step back. He looked at Simon with hopeful eyes. "Let's swim to the shore?" He dropped in the swimming position and made his way through the water with unaccustomed movements.
Simon followed him a few moments later, making sure Kieren was alright. He swam slowly behind him. When eventually they reached the shore Kieren crawled out of the water and dropped on the dry sand. He was exhausted – not physically but mentally. Simon moved past him to their beach towel, grabbing another towel from the backpack. He dropped to his knees next to Kieren, and once the blond rose in a sitting position he wrapped him in the clean towel, rubbing his back.
"It's not like I can feel the cold." Kieren said just above a whisper. However he gladly wrapped the towel tighter around his body.
Simon pulled him in his arms. "Not at the moment…" He said softly. He kissed the top of his head, giving his body another reassuring squeeze.
Kieren leaned into the touch. "This is insane." He chuckled. Simon watched him questioningly. "I want ice-cream. Like, I crave ice-cream." He chuckled again. "I feel like a pregnant lady." Simon was looking at him with amused wide eyes. "Don't look at me like that would be possible." He bumped again into Simon's shoulder. "Fuck off." He said despite his lover did not say a word. He rose to his feet and rubbed his almost-dried skin with the towel. "Let's take a walk around the beach?" Kieren said with a witty spark in his eyes.
Simon nodded and followed him back to their beach towel. He helped pack. "How do you feel now?" He asked more concerned than curious.
Simon shrugged his shoulders. "Same as always I guess." They started dressing up. "Amy told me she was terrified when her first symptoms started to show, but because she thought she grew immune to the cure and she was going rabid again."
Simon picked the backpack and threw it over his shoulder. They were ready for their explorative walk. "Do you share those fears?" Simon asked. They started walking along the shore with no destination in mind.
"Kieren shook his head. "It like, with every episode I feel more secure and optimist." He beamed.
"Yeah?" Simon smiled.
"Every time it happens the feelings are stronger than the last time, or at least it lasts longer." Kieren said firmly, putting a brave face on.
They change the subject as they walked down the beach. They talked about Simon's summer at the Woolacombe beach, about the stray dog he found in the parking lot and tried to smuggle home. (Kieren blinked amusedly. "I'm trying to imagine a kiddy you with a tiny puffy Yorkshire." "It was a very small and furry Beagle." Simon told him.)
While they were walking, laughing and chatting the sun had already set and it was getting darker. They reached a picturesque spot where the green grass entwined with the golden sands, where the waves crushed mildly on the shore, and early stars shone above the water in the pale night sky. Simon took Kieren by surprise when he stopped and rummaged through the backpack. He took out the beach towel again, arranging it on the dry sand.
Simon explained: "Star gazing. It was on your what-to-do-on-the-beach list." He reached for Kieren's hand and dragged him gently down with him. The blond smiled in disbelief – Simon remembered something he randomly mumbled what seemed ages ago. Well, he better turn that naked drawing of Simon into the best painting he ever made – as a gift of utmost appreciation.
Kieren dropped on his back, his hand still in Simon's bigger hand. One hand tucked under his head and legs entwined in Simon's, he looked at the light-blue summer sky. The lazy glistening splatters were of course stars and constellations whose name he never truly tried to remember. There was something about them that made his brain race wildly: he could relate to them. Many of those starts could be just echoes of what they once were – maybe now they were more glorious then ever or maybe they exploded millennia ago, but their light still carried on, even after their death. They still affected time and space – his time and space – and that thought was equally saddening and uplifting. His light had carried on after his death, affecting his parents. And now his light is changing and evolving into something better without ravishing the lives of those dearest to him. He said: "They're beautiful." His voice was fickle, mostly because of his huge smile preventing him from forming the words properly.
"Yes they are." Simon didn't even bother to observe the sky or the stars. For him there was only one star in his sky. He cupped Kieren's face, turning it to face him. He gazed into the white eyes with irises shaped like exploding supernovas and his brain skipped the next seconds; he was lost in Kieren's beauty. The rush he felt was like the explosion of a thousand suns, and Kieren was the only one who could control the flames. "You're beautiful." Before the blond could answer, Simon caught his lower lip between his cold lips starting what he knew would be a long kiss. Kieren's lips got entangled in the kiss and refused to stop. He turned on the side, reaching his hand for Simon's spiky hair and ruffling it as he pushed and pulled urging the man to continue his kisses. And Simon gladly did. His hands sneaked behind his boyfriend's light body grabbing his ass and pulling him on top of him like a protective duvet. Kieren fell lightly on his elbows. He buried his hands in Simon's hair again, as the kiss resumed. Simon's hands searched for the rim of Kieren's shirt, diving under the thin material. They wandered up and down his spine, moving Kieren's body too and grinding it against his own. Kieren moaned. Against his lover's lips Kieren whispered: "I can feel it." They broke the kiss – Kieren whimpered at the loss but Simon's mouth was eager to please in other ways. His lips left a trail from Kieren's lips to his cheeks, eyes, jawbone and ears. There Simon's lips parted and whispered: "I know." Simon had watched him closely, and it was easy now to notice when there was a change in Kieren's body. With experience hands Simon unzipped Kieren's pants, pulling them down the perky ass. A half-hard cock was revealed, pre-cum droplets shining under the infinity of shining stars. Gentle fingers stroked the head smearing the pre-cum all over the erected member. Simon grazed his lips all over the warming body, kissing the sensible areas from the neck to the nipples, nipping and sucking at the skin eliciting sweet moans. Under the loving attentions, Kieren was lost.
He wished Simon could feel it too, but when he tried to explain him as much, he understood this was his will. Simon shushed him. He reassured him with kisses, tender bites and lazy strokes that he was doing exactly what he wanted. A hiss escaped Kieren's lips as the hand around his cock stopped stroking. Said hands found another job: they grabbed the sharp hipbones while with a swift movement Simon switched their places. Once on top he grabbed the bothering pants and pulled them slowly down to Kieren's ankles. The blond shivered slightly as the chill sea-wind brushed against his hardened wet dick. But it didn't take long before it was covered with Simon's mouth. While his lips played with the top of the cock, cold fingers massaged the base and the balls. Kieren was writhing under the sudden jolts of pleasure, moaning and struggling ever harder to keep his breathes steady. Simon twirled and poked around the head and body of the cock, sucking it as if his life depended on it. He bobbed his head one, two… five times then his hand took the place of his lips. Kieren wasn't too pleased with the new change, if his groan was anything to go by. Simon smirked. His lips went back to kissing and suckling, this time between his tights. His hand worked up and down the wet cock, massaging and squeezing. "It- It's been a-a long time." Kieren managed to whisper between high breaths and moans. He groaned. He tried to speak again: "Go s-slow-" but Simon's mouth was back over the pink head of the cock, suckling. Kieren's head jolted back against the sand. His hands – until that moment tightly clenching the towel – clutched at Simon's hair making him move faster.
Simon's lips turned into a smile at seeing how he affected the man writhing beneath him. He pinned Kieren's hips in the towel-covered sand – from the whimpers and moans he heard from him, Simon knew the blond was close to the edge. And he was right. After a few more licks and sucks Simon pushed Kieren over the edge. He came with a loud moan, and fast uncontrolled jerks of his body. His lungs were burning, begging him for more air. When he finally calmed down – his breaths even and his skin a little cooled – he looked over at Simon. He was sitting innocently between his legs smearing cum all over and away from his lips. And that's how the air was kicked out of Kieren's lungs and his entire body started burning again. "I'd love to compliment your taste but- I can only imagine."
Kieren broke into a breathless laughter, and then he clenched his hand around Simon's shirt tugging him down next to him. His lips were swollen, hot and sensitive but he caught Simon in a long passionate kiss nonetheless. "Thank you."
Simon kept his eyes closed for a moment, imagining how it all could have felt. He moaned. With smoky and sensual voice he spoke again, half dreaming half awake: "Yeah." He was beaming.
"I mean it. You didn't have to do it-" Kieren started again, trying to explain, but was cut off by another passionate kiss.
"I told you – it was my pleasure." He winked. He got up on his knees and crawled close to Kieren's legs. He pulled his jeans back up slowly and zipped them just as carefully. He patted the blond on his tight. "I don't want you to get cold."
But truth was Kieren couldn't feel it anymore. "Don't worry. The human-time is over. I can't feel shit." He released a muffled laughter. "It feels like some creepy joke – It's as if I can feel only when you're next to me."
Simon was still sitting on his knees, watching Kieren tuck away his face. He shook his head. "Nah – I'm always next to you. That's not how it works."
Kieren removed his arm from his face. "Yeah but Amy said she only felt once just before – you know, her eyes had color again and she had a heartbeat."
Simon considered it for a moment then he spoke in a calm husky voice: "Maybe it works differently from person to person." Kieren shook his head, a pensive glimmer in his white dead eyes. "We're all different in some way, Kier. Why would that be so hard to believe?" But Kieren wasn't sure what he believed. Maybe Simon was right. Maybe this was the very personal way his body was reacting to the changes. He shrugged. "Okay." Simon bowed and kissed his forehead. "We should head back to the hotel – it's getting dark." Kieren nodded and stood up. They picked the towel and stuffed it in the backpack. They walked slowly following the shore, this time in the direction they came from. The hotel wasn't far and the night was gorgeous so they decided to walk to there. After all, they couldn't get tired. "Don't you feel tired?" Simon asked Kieren. He couldn't quite understand how his body functions shut and turned on like that.
Kieren's voice was fruity and lively, not at all tired. "My brain is a little tired, but not my body. The usual way, I guess." He was radiating with joy: he got to feel Simon. He didn't know how much he wanted it until it happened. They were walking down the well-lit streets, hearing the partygoers and cheerful families in bars and restaurants, in huts and summer houses. This time Kieren felt without needing his body to turn on the feel-it switch: he was thrilled and full, as if he could burst with bliss every second now. He reached for Simon's hand and stared humming some happy song. Simon turned to watch him, his eyes and smile widening at the sight. He joined the humming. They walked joyously down the street to their hotel, like love-intoxicated teens, holding hands and singsong-ing off key, in sync and under breathe the lyrics of cheerful songs.
A/N: Wow this was fun to write. Basically because Avalanche City pushed the right buttons in my mind, stirring my imagination and voila! Anyways: Did you guys like it? Do you have any suggestions? ;3 Always thrilled to read what you got to say! Ch4 coming soon! :)
