Bryan was in bed when Rae finally got there. She had left him with food before she went to do her trading, thinking he would be fine. He had survived, what she assumed was weeks, in that tiny bomb shelter. She knew he would be okay and he was.

Bryan was lying in his bed, asleep, and Rae was happy to see him there. She had only been in the house with him for an hour or so, letting him happily show her around, pointing out what she assumed had been his dad's bed as her own.

The thought of a queen-sized mattress made her excited. She had never slept in one before. But at the same time, the thought of sleeping in the room of a dead man made her stomach clench.

She of course assumed that her old house belonged to a dead person but there wasn't a memory of a face to pop into her head every time she thought about it.. But Mr. Wilks; she had buried him, which made her feel even more strange about the situation. But then again, a bed was a bed. And a Queen size bed sounded like heaven.

Rae walked away from Bryan's bed and over to her's. It was much bigger than her last one, which was now inhabited by Ben. The room was almost twice the size as well, though she was sharing it with the young boy.

Her mind seemed to be everywhere but there. She had lost track of how many days she had been gone, only stopping to sleep once, though she felt that she had slept for almost twenty- four hours. She couldn't really be sure without knowing the time.

She could feel the burn from the sun across her neck and arms; making her flinch as she removed her armor to sleep in her shorts and t-shirt. The bed felt cool against her red, angry skin and she fell asleep almost instantly.

"Rae... Rae."

"Yeah!" Rae jerked awake violently, sitting up way too quick. Bryan was standing at her side.

"You're back!"

"Yes." Rae lay back down slowly, rubbing her eyes. "I am."

"It seemed like you were gone for days! I thought... you may not come back."

"Yeah, I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I had a lot to take care of. Was everything okay here?"

"Yes, everything was fine. Thank you for leaving food."

"No problem." Rae yawned and turned over, meaning to go back to sleep. The sun was shining through the boarded up windows and it was hot in the house. Sweat covered her and she just wanted to sleep through it.

"Rae?"

"Yes?"

"Could you.. maybe.. fix me lunch? The only food that's left needs to be cooked and I don't know how.."

She had had enough sleep to be able to at least see straight for the next couple hours or so. She could always take a nap later.

It was already hot in the house. Turning the stove on wasn't going to make it better. But Bryan was right. The only food left was Mirelurk and mole rat meat and Rae hadn't taken the time to cook it yet. The mole rat would taste better, so that's what she grabbed.

"See, you just put it in the pot and let it cook till it's brown," she explained to him, absently. "You'll have to turn the meat over a couple times but it doesn't take long."

Bryan was sitting at the kitchen table. He said nothing to this and just let her cook. "You have a sunburn," he informed her.

"I do."

"Pa used to run me a cold bath when I got burnt. Maybe it will help."

"Maybe.."

Rae moved the cooked meat to a plate and put it down in front of him with a fork.

"Thank you," he said quietly as he stabbed at the meat, not really eating it.

"Is something wrong?"

"I was just wondering... was my dad here?.. In the house?"

Rae took a deep breath and sat down across from him. He didn't look up. "Yes, he was in the living room."

"How did he... He didn't.. kill himself, did he?"

"No."

"Oh.. Good.. Where is he now?"

"I buried him."

"Outside?"

"Yes. In the back."

"Could I... Maybe.. Go see him?"

"Of course. But after you eat, okay?"

"Okay.."

Bryan eat quickly, staring down at his plate the whole time. The tension in the room was difficult to sit through. Rae almost got up and went back to bed. But that seemed extremely heartless, and so she remained at the table.

When Bryan was done eating, he stood up, waiting for Rae to lead him to his father's grave.

You could still see the spot where the two holes had been dug. The earth still looked freshly turned. Bryan stared at them both for a moment before turning to Rae, who was standing behind him. "Which one is him?"

"That one." Rae pointed to the grave on the right.

"So, then.. Who is that one," he asked, pointing to the left.

"Those are.. umm.. ants.."

"Oh.." He stared to the left for a moment before taking a step over to the right.

Rae watched as he got down to sit on his knees, hanging his head. He sat there for a good hour, not saying a word, just sitting. She thought she noticed him crying a couple times but he never wiped away any tears. She wasn't sure whether to comfort him or not, so she just stood there, waiting for him.

When he was ready, he stood and turned around, looking up at her. He walked over and gave her a hug. Rae wasn't really expecting this but she hugged him back just the same.
"Thank you," she heard him whisper into her stomach. She hugged him tighter before leading him back to the house.

When they got inside, Bryan walked up stairs and Rae followed him. "I think I'll just get to bed," he informed her, laying on top of his blanket.

"Okay.. Do you want a water.. or a soda.. or anything," Rae asked, trying not to feel awkward.

"No, thank you."

Rae sighed, grabbed a book out of one of her boxes of things and went downstairs.

Bryan stayed in bed all day. He wasn't always asleep. Every couple hours, Rae could hear him crying. When she brought some dinner up to him that night, he was awake but said he wasn't hungry and asked for a Nuca-Cola instead.

Rae wasn't really sure why she was there. Maybe because the only other bars she knew of were The Muddy Rudder, which was out of the question, and Moriarty's Saloon, which was now non-existent.

She hadn't intended on going to the bar. It started out that day as just a walk. She had woken up pretty early that morning and felt like she needed to stretch her legs. Making sure to let Bryan (who was still laying in bed) know she would be back, she left.

She really didn't feel like she should leave, at first anyway. Bryan was clearly depressed and in a vulnerable place. But then again, he may have needed time alone, and he didn't seem to be upset or object when she said good bye.

It was pretty mellow out that morning. There were very few hostile creatures who crossed her path. She had reached a little over a mile and decided she wasn't tired, so she continued. One step led to another and she found herself outside the building, thinking she could use a drink.

She wasn't much of a drinker but it relaxed her a bit, and so, there she was. There weren't a lot of people in there. Maybe people at Tenpenny Tower were too proper to drink old, stale alcohol. At least the bartender couldn't judge her, being a robot and all.

Rae sat down at the bar, ignoring the one or two snobby glasses.

"Care to wet your whistle?" Poor Shakes sounds like he needs a tune up.

"Just a beer, thanks."

The robot put her drink on the counter and it was cold. It's actually cold. There's always a first for everything, she thought as she opened the bottle. It was stale of course, and tasted watered down. But who cares? It's cold!

"I'll have what she's having!"

Rae looked to her right. She had been so distracted by her actually cold drink that she hadn't noticed the pretty, young girl who had sat down right next to her.

She had blond hair that fell past her shoulders and blue eyes that shined in the light of the bar. Her skin was light and.. Dirty.. She was filthy; straight out of the wastes. Leather armor covered in dry mud and dust.

"How'd you get past security dressed like that?" Rae teased, trying to make conversation.

The woman smiled. "How did you?"

"Said I was here on business.. It wasn't a lie. You?"

She opened her beer. "Same. To business and cold drinks!" She held out her bottle and Rae took the hint, completing her toast with a heavy glass clunking sound.

The woman through her head back, taking in most of the bottle. She looked familiar, almost from a distant memory or a long forgotten dream. She probably just had one of those typical pretty-girl-faces. Blue eyed blonds weren't rare.

Rae felt silly, sipping her beer while this female wastelander chugged her's down all at once. "Rough day?"

"You bet your ass! Cleared out a family of Deathclaws today!"

"Oh, good lord! You do need a drink! Let me buy you another."

"Oh, how sweet of you." she smiled again.

So familiar...

Rae gave a small laugh. "It's no trouble at all."

"I'm Alixx. Alixx Fleck."

"Rae Hargrave."

Alixx opened her second beer. "As in Tammy and James Hargrave?" she responded casually.

"Yeah! How do you-"

"I've been through Rivet City. Tammy's.. Uhh.. Not easy to miss, I'll tell you that."

Rae chuckled. "Yeah, I know."

"You her kid?"

"... Yep"

"Not much of a drinker, are you? Pretty shocking."

Rae smiled. "I get that a lot."

"Be proud, Rae. Those are some strong genes you managed to miss!" Alixx threw her head back again, this time only taking a couple drinks before tipping it back up-right and setting it on the bar.

"So, what do you do," Rae asked

"I'm a hired gun."

Rae couldn't help but laugh .

"What?" Alixx laughed a little too, giving a small half-smile.

"Nothing.. That's just... Funny.. It fits, you know? You look like a contract mercenary."

"Well, sweetheart, you got me pegged. What about you?"

"I'm just... A stay-at-home-mom for the most part." Rae took a long drink.

"See, now, that doesn't fit."

"What?"

"First of all, you are not home."

Rae smiled, unable to stop herself. That's the fucking truth, she thought.

"Second, that combat shotgun on your back is not something a 'stay-at-home-mom' would be just carrying around. Not to mention the huge pack you've got with you. And there, you're a mess. We both are, but see, I'm a mercenary. I'm supposed to be."

Rae said nothing.

"No.. Your more of the scavenger type.. Pregnancy must have hit you hard, hmm?"

"Something like that..."

Alixx finished her drink as Rae watched her out of the corner of her eye. She just had this way about her; the way she spoke, the way she held herself.. Like she knew everything. Like she had done everything, most of those things immoral and horrible. Things you only see in nightmares and could never forget, no matter how much booze you could get your hands on. She was dangerous, and Rae felt it, no doubt about that.

"You do what you have to," Alixx sighed, almost as if she were reading Rae's mind. "Times are hard, the wasteland is cruel, and the wastelanders are even more so. Don't ever forget that."

Rae gave a small nod.

"Well, my friend, it was nice talking to you." She put her hand briefly on Rae's shoulder.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to see a man about a zombie. See you around."

Another short nod from Rae and Alixx was gone, bad vibes and all.

She didn't seem like a horrible person, though it was clear she had done some horrible things. But she said it best; times were tough and all that noise.. At any rate, Alixx wasn't someone Rae wanted around Bryan.

Rae took her last drink, setting the empty bottle aside as she looked up at the metal bartender. "Another, please."

So cold...

"Hayyyyy!" Rae giggled when Ben opened the door.

"Hello," he said raising an eyebrow at her. "Do you want to come in?"

Rae giggled stupidly. "Okay." Rae took a few steps forward, into the small house and he closed the door.

"You smell.. like beer.. Are you drunk?"

Rae spun around to look at him. "Nope! Not really, just a little buzzed."

"Aww.. Okay then.. why don't you come sit down." He led her to his bed and Rae giggled.

"This used to be my bed!" She flopped down and Ben handed her a water.

"Yep.."

"I'm sorry if I'm being obnoxious.. I just feel silly. I'm really not drunk."

"I believe you."

Rae took a drink, giggling a little. "So, how are things?"

"Oh, just fine. The trading caravan came through yesterday, so I got some amo and some food." Ben sat down next to her. He was cleaner this time, dust, dirt and mud scrubbed from his skin and clothes. His skin was dark, it turned out. The dirt had almost nothing to do with it. She wanted to touch his skin. It looked so smooth to her, so inviting..

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing!" Rae put her hand down. She had begun to reach out to touch him without really realizing it.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah." Rae drank the water in her hand, taking deep breaths in between sips. "I don't want Bryan to see me this way."

"Bryan? Who's that?"

"This little boy... I live with him now."

"Little boy? What do you mean?"

"He's like.. ten or eleven.. I haven't asked really."

"Why are you living with him? He's not your brother, is he? Because I would hope that if he was, you would know his age..."

"No. His dad died.. I've just been making sure he's fed and safe and stuff like that."
"So.. You adopted him. That's.. nice of you.."

"Yeah, I guess.. I wasn't doing it to be nice." Rae leaned forward, propping her shoulders on her knees and her forehead in her hands.

"Then why did you?"

"Because it was the right thing to do. Because he was alone and scared and..." Rae rubbed her eyes with her palms. "He's just a little kid... and I don't know what to do with him."

"Aw."

"And maybe also because I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, maybe that's a good thing. I mean, It's bad that you know what it's like to feel alone and scared, but if you didn't, where would he be now?"

"Ugh!" Rae grunted, pressing her palms into her eyes. "I really don't want to think about that.."

"Understandable.."

Rae sat up. "Can I ask you.. How did you end up in Lamplight?"

Ben said nothing. He just sat there as if she hadn't said anything at all. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Okay.."

Ben stood up and disappeared around the corner. She could hear him from the kitchen; pots and pans bumping into each other, the refrigerator opening and then closing a couple times, Ben humming to himself softly.

Rae leaned back in the bed. It felt nice, familiar, almost like she was home again, even with someone banging around in the kitchen. She pushed those thoughts out of her head, afraid she may start to regret staying with Bryan. She wasn't going to back out. Not now. Not after promising to be there for him and then everything that happened the previous day.

"Here you go!" Ben came back in with two bowls and a smile on his face.

"Oh! I'm sorry," Rae said, sitting back up quickly.

"For what? Laying on the bed?" Ben laughed a little and walked over to sit next to her. "It's fine." He handed her a bowl.

It didn't look like anything she had ever had before. Food out there was limited and there was only so much you could use as food. "What is this?"

"I call it Noodles and dog meat."

"What's that?"

"... Noodles and dog meat! With a couple of other things thrown in.. Try it! You'll like it!"

Rae took a bite. It was good. Really good.. "Oh my god! How are you doing that?" She took another bite. And another and another until she was eating so fast she hardly had time to swallow.

"Don't choke!" Ben laughed a little, taking small bites out of his own bowl.

"I... have... never... tasted... anything... this... good."

"Okay, okay. Eat with your mouth closed.."

Rae practically licked the bowl before handing it back to Ben. "You should open a restraint or something," She informed him.

Ben chuckled. "Ben's Eats! So good you'll freak out and lick the bowl!"

Rae blushed a little. "No, really! All my life I've basically just been eating to live. I don't know anything could taste that good."

"Yeah.. I was the cook at Little Lamplight." He got up and walked over to the kitchen to put the bowls away. "You should probably get home before dark," he called from the other room. "The sun's going down."

Rae shook her head, as if he could see it. She knew she smelled like alcohol and she didn't want to go home like that. She dealt with her mother for too long to allow Bryan to be exposed to anything similar.

Ben came back around the corner to the bedroom.

"I really don't want Bryan to see me this way," She confessed.

"But you seem fine now.."

"But I know I'm really not. I know I smell like beer and... and I just don't want to go home yet.. But if you want me to go, I will. I understand."

"No," Ben sighed and sat back down beside her again. "You gave me a place to stay to keep me safe, so I don't mind doing the same for you for tonight, if you want."

"I don't want to be any trouble.."

"It's no trouble."

Rae said nothing. She just sat there, staring at her feet.

"Is something wrong?"

"Just this woman I met today.. Just something she said."

"What did she say?"

"That you do what you have to to survive.. That times are hard, the wasteland is cruel but not as cruel as all the people in it."

"Yeah?."

"I don't like that."

"But she's right."

"I know, but.. not everyone is, right?.. I mean.. I'm not.. And you aren't."
"That's true. But most people are."

She knew he was right. Out there, the mean ones were usuly the strongest. They survive, while the nice people are killed and disappear into the wastes. Rae knew he was right, but she didn't want him to be. She didn't want it to be true.

Tears formed in her eyes and she wiped them away quickly so he wouldn't see.

"So," Ben tried to break the tension and change the subject. "How are we going to do this?"

"What?"

"Well, I would sleep on the ground, of course, but there's only one blanket."

"...Oh.."

"Yeah, and you know as well as I do that it gets cold at night."

"Well.. Umm.. You could sleep in the bed."

"What about you?"

"I could too I guess.."

The little twin sized mattress was small and barely fit them both. They had to lay really close to each other, back to back to keep from falling off.

"Can i ask you a persanal question?" Rae asked, alittle embarresed.

"Haven't you already?"

Rae smiled "Were you ever.. With anyone?"

"You mean in Lamplight?"

"Yeah."

"Like.. Just as a girlfriend?"

"Umm.. No.."

Ben chuckled a little. "No. All the girls were pretty psychologically immature. Like they thought all the boys had some kind of boy germ that they might catch. It was really stupid.. What about you?"

"Nope, never had a girlfriend," Rae said playfully.

Ben laughed. "You know what I meant!"

"No. I was so busy trying to grow up and be strong enough and smart enough to be out on my own. Let's just say my family is less than functional. I never really took the time to have fun or meet somone with those intentions."

"Why can't you now?"

Rae shifted a little, feeling uncomfortable with the question.

"I dont know... There's a lot going on. I've ben taking care of Bryan lately. It's a lot of work, you know? Taking care of a damaged kid like that."

"Is that all you ever do? Just walk through the wasteland helping people like that?"
"Pretty much."

"You should learn to take care of yourself before you make all these commitments."

"I don't know what I would do with myself if I took time to be alone. Ever since that vault chick's been running around causing shit, I feel like I need to make things better."

"Oh, vault 101 girl? I've been listening to three dogs complain about her.. But you shouldn't feel responsible for the things she's done."

It was quiet for a long time after that. Rae thought he may have fallen asleep. It was cold, even under the blanket, but his back was warm. And she snuggled closer to him.

"May I hold you," Ben whispered in the dark.

"Okay..."

He turned over so that the front of him was aginst her back and his arm was around her waist. It felt nice, warm and soft, bringing up other emotions Rae had never felt and couldn't identify. Happiness was one.

Rae had never felt a man's embrace other that the times her dad had hugged her. But that was so long ago and this was definititely different. He felt sweet and soft and so perfect, not like anything you could ever find in the wastes. This was special and she felt that. He was different and she didn't want to ever leave his arms.

But these feelings bothered her. She didn't know him and she felt that she should know better than to become vaulnerable to him, or any other person for that matter. She never wanted to get hurt. Who does? No one wakes up one day and says to themself, "Today, I think I'll purposely let my heart be ripped out, and then cry myself to sleep tonight."

"Goodnight," he whispered, right aginst her neck, breaking her from her thoughts. His breath was hot and chills ran down her spine.

"Night," she whispered back, and soon drifted off.

She's on top of Rivet City, looking down into the water and out into the wasteland. She can see all the way across in every direction and Ben is next to her, smiling. She tries to say something but she can't. Her throat is to tight.

"Jump." Ben takes her hand and without thinking, her feet leave the ship. Feet first, pointed at the water, they land gracefully and all the water around them splashes up and out across the wastes. And everything is green. Trees grow tall, grass growing thick and birds chirp in every direction just like she reads in her scavinged books. Everything is lush and beautiful and nothing like the harsh wasteland before.

And then she appears In the distance; far in the distance but still clear as if she were standing right infront of Rae. Her blond hair falls over the back of her blue 101 jumpsuite. She is facing the other way with a flammer propped up on her shoulder.

And everything is red. Flames engulf the trees and the grass smolders under their feet. The birds stop chirping and the woman in blue is smiling. Rae can't see her face but she know who she is.

Ben puts his arms around her, and her face is buried between her neck and shoulder. She wants to scream but her throat is even tighter. She can barely breath and all she can hear is laughing; shrill, evil, female laughter. And everying feels like hell.

Rae woke up gasping in a cold sweat, like she had been running, finding herself lying in a different position than she reemembered falling asleep in. Her and Ben were laying with their chests presed up together and they both had there arms wrapped around each other. Rae was laying on her right arm, which had gone numb some time during the night.

He was awake and seemed to have been watching her sleep. When he saw that she was awake, he pulled her closer to him.

"Good morning," he whispered. She could hear the smile in his voice. "It's just past sun up. I've only ben awake for a couple minutes."

"What... Happened last night?"

Ben gave a small laugh. "Nothing," he asured her. "You turned around in the middle of the night. That's all. You wer probably just cold."

"Oh.. Okay." Rae sat up, stretching, trying to forget her nightmare. "I should get back to Bryan. I was only planning to stay for the night."

Ben looked disappointed. Almost like he had expected her to stay for breakfast. Or something else, Rae thought, nervously.

Ben touched her hand gently. "Are you sure you have to go? You could stay..."
"No, I really do need to get back. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Ben sat up beside her in the small bed. "I'll walk you out then."