I can't believe Sasuke carried me all the way home. Everyone was staring at us and he just glared at them. I just can't believe it. Sasuke would never carry me in public even when I was really injured. It was always Kakashi that carried me. But Sasuke's body was so warm and I could feel his heart beat under the palm of my hand the whole way. I know this is all just my illusion, my punishment in death, but it all feels so real. And I want to believe it's real so badly. I want to, but I can't.

Sasuke let go of my legs so that I could climb down and off of him as soon as we were in the living room of his apartment. I did so, but I felt the loss of contact immediately. I want to go into the kitchen, where he is apparently making something to eat, and tangle my hand in his shirt. I wonder if he would let me do that in this illusion. Will it even go that far? Or will my fingers get just close enough to feel him without touching him and then everything would go away? I don't want that to happen, but I want to touch Sasuke so badly.

I stand and go into the kitchen on shaky legs. He's there, standing in front of the stove with his back to me. There's a pot on top of the stove with something that I don't want to try to identify at the moment and a cookbook to Sasuke's right. He's reading it with one of his not-so-serious serious faces. He has a lot of different serious faces. Most of them revolve around fighting and doing jutsu. I don't think he's realized that he makes different faces for the different types of jutsus he does. I should probably tell him. I don't want to him to be at a disadvantage because I neglected to tell him something like that. But, the thing is, I don't really think that anyone else has noticed. The different faces are so subtle that I don't think anyone else has paid close enough attention to be able to tell them apart.

The face he's making right now is one of his normal day serious faces. He usually makes this one when he's doing something that he thinks is really important, but has never done before in his life. Is he making that face because he's making food for me? I don't know, but I want to pretend that that is the reason. I want this illusion to allow me to pretend that, for once in my life, I am loved and that Sasuke is the one who loves me.

I reach forward slowly, not wanting the illusion to notice what I am doing and try to stop me, and finally my fingers wrap around his sleeve. He tenses and I pull back and realize that I really shouldn't have invaded Sasuke's personal space without letting him know. Before my left hand can retreat fully, though, Sasuke catches it in both of his and pulls it forward to press a kiss on the middle finger. It's the same one that I broke when I tried to hold his hand that one time. Sasuke doesn't know that though.

"I'm a ninja Naruto," Sasuke speaks over my hand. "You can't just sneak up on me like that."

"I'm sorry," I apologize. I knew this illusion wouldn't be that kind to me.

"No," Sasuke shakes his head and kisses my finger again. "It's nothing to apologize for. It's just that my instincts tell me that someone who touches me when I'm not expecting it is probably my enemy. And I know that I zone out sometimes and lose track of my surroundings so I no longer know who around me is friend or foe. You are not my enemy and I want to be able to hold your hand, but you just have to remember that sometimes I will react badly to unexpected touches. That has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Ok?"

I nod. It's the only thing I can think to do right now. Sasuke is giving me permission to touch him as long as I tell him before I do. I'm so happy right now and I think that my face is practically splitting in half with the smile that I'm allowing to form on my lips.

Sasuke smiles back at me before moving my hand back to his shirtsleeve and turning back to the food. "I'm just making some soup," he says to me. "Lady Tsunade said that you should be waned back onto normal food since they weren't really given enough time to do that for you while you were in the hospital. Is that ok?"

"Yes," I answer. I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, but Sasuke is always right. I lean forward and put my head on top of Sasuke's shoulder, just above where my hand is. It's comfortable and Sasuke doesn't complain so I stay like that until my body protests by making my legs buckle underneath me. I have to lean more heavily against Sasuke just to make sure that I don't fall.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asks as he looks over his shoulder to try to see my face. He can't see it, though. It's hidden in his shoulder, so the only thing he sees is my hair.

"I'm fine," I nod slowly. I don't really trust myself to do anything more than that because I can feel a sudden feeling of nausea overcoming me. This is so weird. I don't think I've ever felt this weak when this many days have passed since the last battle before. Maybe Kyuubi is punishing me for being an idiot and jumping into the battle. Or maybe my illusion wants to remind me that all of this isn't real. That's the more likely answer. Even if Kyuubi does hate me like everyone else does, he wouldn't want the body that's carrying him to be injured and put him in danger.

"Here," Sasuke wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up just high enough that he can set me down on the counter. Now that I don't have to be standing on my own, I feel a lot better. Sasuke's amazing. He knows everything that needs to be done to help people. I wish I could be as great as Sasuke. That's never going to happen. Well then, I wish that I can at least be good enough to remain by Sasuke's side forever. That's never going to happen either because I'm dead, but I can still wish it.

"Thank you Sasuke." It means more than just thanking him for helping me right now. I'm thanking him for all the things that he has done for me in my life. I'm thanking him for allowing me to be happy for those short months that I was allowed to stand next to him and pretend that he loves me. I'm thanking him for everything, but he only sees that I'm thanking him for this moment so he places his left hand on my knee and continues to cook with his right. He only takes his left hand away briefly when he needs it for a certain part of the recipe, but then he always puts it back. "I love you Sasuke," I mutter quietly as I watch him work.

"I love you too," he answers distractedly, but it still makes me smile.