A/N: Wow! I just looked at the stats and this story already has about 132 hits! That's one of the most my stories has ever gotten. I'm ridiculously thankful to all of you and of course to supernatural. Here's chapter three, I hope you enjoy.
Unfortunately, my smut has to get cut down a lot for posting on fanfiction. If you want to read this chapter in full, please check out my WattPad, where the full sex scene will be shown. I'll post the link on my profile.
Please follow/favorite/review if you haven't already. That's the most important part. I love you guys ~Bee~
Chapter Three
Dean pulled into the parking lot, parking in front of his motel room. He checked himself one last time in the pull down mirror over the dash, and nodded in approval. He was good at this: hiding. It made him a little sad, how excellent he'd always been at hiding the most fearful parts of himself. He pulled down his shirt collar, checking his neck in the dim light from the overhead lamps. A huge bruise the shape of a bite mark, dark and forbidding, sauntered across his shoulder. He touched it gently, wincing in pain. 'Damn it, Cas.' Dean thought gently to himself, sighing. He pulled his shirt back up, checking his neck again for hickies, and found a dark one near his collarbone. A chuckle reverberated though his chest, and he closed his overhead mirror, stepping lightly out of the car and slamming shut the door. He locked it, pocketing the keys.
"Where the hell have you been?" yelled Sam, marching forward and slamming the door shut behind Dean. His brow was furrowed in concern, and he crossed his arms over his chest, breathing heavily through his mouth. Dean shook his head, laughing.
"Went out for a drink, drove around." replied Dean, looking across the room. Sam laughed, stepping closer, pulling down Dean's collar, and revealing the rest of his hickey; Dean hadn't covered it well enough: the shirt was stretched out anyways.
"Yeah?" he asked, jabbing at it with a free finger. "The fuck is this then, Dean?" he looked at him pointedly, and Dean moved away, shrugging. He moved towards the bed, setting down his bag. Sam looked at him, incredulous. "What does that even mean?" Dean shrugged again, looking away. His ears were red, he was hot with anger; Dean was looking for a way out of this conversation: he couldn't breathe, he couldn't admit where he had been, but he couldn't lie to Sammy. He shrugged again and again, shaking his head. "Dean, what the hell is going on with you, man?" He looked for an escape, looking around the room, at the walls dripping with information about their case. He shook his head more, moving away from Sam.
"I can't… tell you," said Dean, hand clutching a chair for support. He felt like he was drowning, He wanted so badly to admit to Sam what was going on, how he felt, what was going on in his mind. "I just can't Sammy. But it's nothing. Please don't worry about me." Sam shook his head, looking at him. Dean glanced at him, pleading with his eyes. Sam stared, confusion plastered across his face. He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it, frowning.
"Dean, you can tell me anything. Is this…? Dean are you-" Dean slammed his fists into the chair, cursing.
"Don't, Sam. Seriously." he said. "Just please, fucking stop." Sam shook his head, confused.
"Please, Dean. Just talk to me."
"Sammy," he exploded with rage, hands slamming the chair again. He couldn't hold it in any longer, and all the promises about not telling Sam he'd made to Cas flew right out the window when he looked into his brothers concern filled face. "I slept with Cas today." Sam's eyes opened wide, stepping back.
"You did what?" asked Sam, softly. "You… what?"
Dean nodded, laughing quietly to himself before bursting into tears. Sam was taken aback, watching as Dean sank into the chair, body wracked with sobs. Sam melted for his brother, sinking into the chair beside him, watching Dean cry. He didn't understand the cause of his tears, really, but knew there was always a good reason, because… Dean didn't cry. He moved to look at Sam, a fresh wave of sobs beating a t him. Same clutched his hand, worry touching his brows.
"Dean, it's okay. You know I don't care," said Sam; it was the truth. Sam had known for a while that Dean had feelings for the Angel. Castiel was Dean's Angel after all. Dean shook his head farter a moment, laughing through his tears.
"Oh Sammy," started Dean, sniffing and collecting himself enough to continue. "It's not that," he muttered. He looked at Sam, reaching out to calm the worry lines on his forehead. "We're gonna lose that son of a bitch. Sam, he's –"
"Your soul mate – trust me I know." Dean's eyes were touched with eh same confusion that had swarmed Sam only moments ago. "The way you look at Cas, Dean," Sam started softly, sighing and pulling Dean's hand closer, "it's the way I looked at Jess, every day we were together." Dean nodded, laughing, pulling his hand away to paw reluctantly at his face. The crying had stopped, replaced only by a deep look of fear. "We won't lose him, Dean. I won't let that happen to you," promised Sam, voice touched with emotion. He rose, crossing to his computer bag, turning in time to hear the flap of wings and see Castiel pop into existence behind Dean.
"Hello, Dean." said Castiel, standing aloofly away from Dean. Castiel was so transparent: it was obvious he wanted to reach forward and grip Dean. The way his eyes touched his face when Dean turned to look at him made Sam smile softly. He walked across the room, setting down his computer and looking at Cas. "Sam." Castiel nodded in his general direction. "I am here to apologize for what I did." Sam shook his head, smiling.
"No need, Cas." said Sam, touching the Angel's arm in acceptance. "You did what you had to do." Castiel nodded, annoyance pushing his brow down.
"You do not understand, obviously, Sam," said Castiel, moving forward. He took the chair Sam had only just vacated, ignoring him completely. "Dean." Dean looked up, eyes rimmed with red from crying. He was angry, Sam could tell; Castiel was right, he didn't understand what was going on, at all.
"Dean, I am here to apologize to you," continued Castiel, moving to clutch Dean's hand as Sam had. "You… mean more to me than a lot of people know. We have an indisputable bond that can't be measured or touched. And I have… ruined that by doing what I am doing. But I cannot stop until Raphael is finished. I have to keep the plan in motion. That means I am hurting you, I can tell. But you know… how I feel." Dean nodded, not looking at Cas. There was a tense air between them; Sam wanted to lean forward and smack them both across the heads, tell them to get over themselves, stop acting like teenagers, stop hiding from their parents in closets and cars. Castiel leaned forward, looking at Dean's face, imploring him without words to look back. His deep blue eyes searched for forgiveness he knew he wouldn't receive. He nodded, accepting it and standing.
"I must get back," said Castiel reluctantly. "I must go and do what needs to be done." Sam stepped forward, grabbing Cas' arm in impatience.
"No." he said. "You're not leaving until my brother looks at you. You won't make it… if he doesn't accept this." Dean shook his head, laughing loudly once.
"You think I'm going to accept that he wants to blow his brains out with Purgatory? You think I'm going to simply stand by and watch as… as Cas swallows up hundreds of souls, souls you told me nothing, no one could handle? Sammy, if you think that, you must be delusional; I won't. And I'm going to do everything in my power to stop him." Dean looked up, eyes narrowed in anger. "Because damn it, Cas, it kills me to watch you do this. I love you, damn it, I fucking love you." Dean stood, over turning the table, Sam's laptop crashing to the floor. He strode towards the Angel, gripping his face tightly with both hands. Castiel struggled for a moment to be released, and Dean leaned in, kissing him hard on the mouth. Sam turned away, releasing Castiel's arm and pacing to the door, shutting it softly behind him as he exited. His smile was huge when he knew he was no longer in sight of the boys. He shifted, turning towards the street, walking away from the room.
Inside, Castiel had started to kiss Dean back. His lips worked on Dean's, hands moving to his face, his hair, and his neck. Dean pulled him gently towards him, grinding his hips into Cas'. His hands moved to Castiel's ass, pushing him into his body, fitting their hips together. Cas moved, trailing his lips down Dean's jaw, to his neck where he bit and nipped gently. Dean moaned, feeling his cock straining against his pants, hot and painful. Clothes were removed, and for the second time that day, Dean felt something inside him that he never had before. But it was more than that; it was the way Cas moved his hands up Dean's sides that made him feel loved like never before. It was less about the sex, and more about the sensation of really feeling Castiel beside him. They kissed each other gently, moving towards the bed, Dean's pants unbuttoned and fly down, Castiel stripped to the skin.
"Take me, Dean." Castiel whispered, lying beneath him on the creaking hotel bed. "Make me understand why I can't do this to myself." But Cas' resolve was resolute: there was no making him understand anything. The stubborn bastard would do what he wanted; Dean knew that now. He simply nodded and attacked Cas' skin with his lips, feeling him move, squirm, press into Dean. Begging moans and whimpers resonated from his chapped lips. Dean sighed, feeling an unearthly amount of power over this simply beautiful man. How had Dean not known before this, before all this happened, that he wanted him so badly? How did it get this far before Dean really realized what was surging through his bones every time Castiel said his name? He pressed into Cas', moving down his stomach, trailing kisses to the hard v-line of his hips. Hooking his lips around Castiel's cock, he started.
After a moment, Dean moved away, eyes watching Cas' body squirm and writhe in passionate agony. He smiled a small, soft smile, leaning down to kiss his lips again tenderly. A song hummed through his head, reminding him of the car, singing to Cas as his head lay on his chest. He kicked his pants off, pulling Cas up onto his arms, feeling the way he breathed, the heat of him. Castiel's arms locked around Dean's neck, and he moaned softly as Dean ground against him. There was nothing stopping him now, nothing but Dean, nothing but the quiet feeling of him pressed against Cas. He sighed gently, mouthing Dean's neck and softly kissing the place where he'd bit Dean earlier, hearing him hiss when his lips made contact. There was a moment of anticipation before Dean entered him, and then they were there, together and full of life.
The moment ended too quickly, Cas panting, covered in a sheen of Dean and his own sweat, mixed with cum which sat hotly on his stomach. He looked at Dean, who lay beside him on the bed, a similar state of being, before rising to get a towel from the bathroom. He assumed that was the appropriate thing to do: towel them off and lay next to him for another moment. He looked in the mirror: his pupils were dilated with ecstasy, his hands shook and there were hickies trailing from his neck to the place where his hips met his thighs. He laughed softly, touching them. They didn't hurt as people said they did; in fact, they were a wonderful reminder of his abandonment, of his straying from the beaten path of loyalty. A wonderful, and heart breaking reminder of what he had to do to beat down Raphael. He didn't want to: didn't want to hurt Dean the way he knew he was going to. But a part of him said he absolutely had to. The other part screamed in protest, two sides of him clashing and clawing, fighting like rabid animals. The protest was to stay here, lay by Dean until the war was over, until his grace was pulled from him, until he was gutted like the animal he knew he was. But he couldn't possibly do that. That would hurt Dean worst of all.
"Dean," said Castiel, walking from the bathroom. Dean's eyes were closed, breathing relaxed. He smiled in acknowledgement, opening them to look at Cas. He was struck for a moment by the deep green of them, the singularly good light they held within them. For a moment, he almost wished he had the God-seeing amulet, because the thought that first crossed his mind was that he must be in the presence of a God for someone to be so beautifully perfect. They he remembered that Dean was merely a man. A new thought crossed his mind, cancelling out the past ones of abandoning Dean in his most desperate time of need. "May I stay here… with you, just for tonight?" Dean shifted a bit; smile dropped from his face, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Castiel looked at his feet, embarrassed by his stupid question, and Dean cleared his throat. Their eyes met again; each time they did. Castiel's heart was swept out of his chest.
"Just tonight?" asked Dean, eyes closing again. He was tired, Castiel could tell. "Yeah. That sound's fine." Castiel practically jumped for joy, but managed to keep his composure long enough to towel them both off. Dean laughed, shaking his head, and threw Cas over his shoulder, dragging him into the shower and bathing him in water and kisses. They made love again, and again. Sam never came back or called, but Dean wasn't worried. There was an unspoken promise between them, and when Dean awoke in the morning, he could see Sam's long legs poking out of the back window of the Impala. He laughed, feeling the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders for just a moment. Everything was okay, if only for right now. Breathing Cas was good.
A/N: Hey guys! Looks like that's going to be the end of the line for this story. Like I said, this story is about two thousand words longer with the full 'adult' scenes, so check it out on wattpad when I publish it there. I also signed up for a beta account at Achieve of Our Own, where you should check out some really awesome stories there. Y'all have been perfect. Please keep checking in on me, I recently had another idea for a story about Dean and Cas, but it'll be a beautiful AU. Love you all SO much 3 thanks for sticking around. ~Bee~
