Author's Note: We don't own Twilight, Harry Potter, Forks, Washington, or a Hybrid. (Darn!) Enjoy! Don't worry-the Accursed One, Mrs. Pattinson, doesn't show up in this chapter yet, so you still have a few chapters to daydream before all your dreams are crushed brutally by a couple of crazy writers who have no sympathy whatsoever for Robsessed fangirls! (Just kidding-really! *Ducks more flaming torches*) You can enjoy this one!
Edward gasped. "No-no-noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Where the beloved Cullen family home had once stood-was-NO!-
He threw himself on the floor, his whole body twitching in absolute shock. "No-" he whispered, "no…"
NEWTON-STANLEY DUST FACTORY #583.
"I don't understand!" he cried. "Why-why would there be a dust factory anyway?"
He wanted to read either of the Pattinsons' minds, but he realized he was too numb to do so.
"No reason," said Rob. "Messica just needed a reason to destroy your house, I'm sorry to say."
"So why are there 583 of them?"
"Turns out, a lot of people are willing to buy dust," Ted said. "Messica got so rich, there wasn't a lot of money for the rest of us, and they needed whatever they could to eat."
"They ate dust?" Cedric sounded appalled.
"Of course not," said Rob. "They didn't eat the dust. They used it to lure worms into their backyard and eat them. You'll be amazed how desperate the people in Forks are now that Messica is in control."
"Worms eat dust?" said Cedric.
"They eat dirt, don't they?"
"Who is this 'Messica,' anyway?" Cedric asked. He was mildly more talkative than Edward initially believed, but the latter was still too paralyzed to notice this.
Cedric, on the other hand, noticed Edward writhing in pain, and taking pity on the kid whose house had just been knocked down to create a dust factory, he walked over and patted him on the back. He was so decent and kind. Edward wanted to gag.
Ted explained, "Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley. They married back in 2013. Our enemy managed to drive you out of your home and sell all your property to own a multibillion-dollar incorporation.
"Newton-Stanley Enterprises now owns:
Sausage and staple factories,
the world's largest ball of twine,
ceiling fan stores,
flea circuses,
pillow-making guidebooks,
the Boy Scouts of somewhere called "Gandurvia" south of Northeast Croatia,
a chain of bucket handle-themed amusement parks in South America called "Buckethandleland,"
a fashion company that produces a popular line of waffle-print cardigans,
this very strange huge company in Chicago that chops down trees and pollutes the air for seemingly no reason at all,
cue-card makers for general surgeons,
funded a worldwide competition that managed to set the world record for most times a person ever said the word "Asparagus" in their lifetime,
...and finally, the World's Biggest Shoe Closet."
Edward was disgusted, and managed to choke out, "How did useless things like that get them so successful?"
"Americans love useless things!" Robert pointed out. "You drink bottled water, after all. What's the difference between that stuff and tap water anyway?"
Ted, who apparently (just like his father-figures) didn't seem to notice the shift in conversation, added, "Newton-Stanley's next venture is to tear down Forks and have it turned into a parking lot for their many cars."
"WHAT?!?" Now Edward was frantic. "Wait-just how did they kick us out of our home?"
Ted and Rob exchanged glances.
"Mr. Cullen, sit down," he said.
"Sit down WHERE?" he cried. "We're in the middle of the street without a car!" He was so flustered his mind-reading abilities were all but fried.
"Well, then just remain standing," Rob sighed. "This may come as a shock to you. But our enemy revealed your vampire natures to the world. The Volturi tried to fight back at first, but Newton-Stanley Enterprises created this substance called 'Volturonite' that repelled their powers, and that of any other vampire. They then turned the whole city against your family and drove you out of town."
"Wait a minute! How did that happen?" Edward cried. "Wouldn't Alice have foreseen this and told us about it?"
Rob and Ted cocked their heads the same way-again-and finally Rob added, "Er, after Jessica Stanley finally managed to have one more pair of shoes than she did, your sister fell into a crippling depression-and went off to Italy."
Edward's eyes suddenly bulged, and his voice grew hoarse as he said, "Alice-she's-dead?"
"Of course not!" said Rob. "They brought her back."
"My family?"
"No, the workers at the zoo. Our enemies have captured your family, the Volturi, and all the other vampires of the world and turned them into a zoo exhibit."
I'd go to that zoo! Just kidding…What did you think of this chapter? More chapters coming soon! Review, please!
