A/N I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, I know this chapter is way overdue! Hope you enjoy!
"Kurt, what are you talking about? I'm afraid I'm not following." Rachel said, furrowing her brows in confusion at the boy sitting across from her as his eyes seemed to study her intently. Shifting his eyes back towards the photograph sitting on Rachel's table, he took a deep breath, readying himself to give the girl an explanation, one that was long overdue. Yet, he knew that he couldn't jump straight to point, especially after seeing how lost Rachel looked after his seemingly random statement was made.
"Rachel, that picture," he said pointing at it, "that's us, isn't it?" Turning her curious gaze towards the photo, she nodded her head slowly, unsure of where the conversation was headed.
"Y-yeah, we were good friends back then. I always wonder..." Rachel trailed off, looking at the ground as she wrung her hands. Sure she had known the Kurt in the picture but she didn't know the Kurt sitting in front of her now and she wasn't sure how much she should divulge to him in case he used it against her. She didn't want it to spread around the school that she was lonely and desperate for a friend, after all, that would only give others more reason to humiliate her. She learned long ago that any vulnerability shown was an opportunity for others to hurt you.
"What?" He asked, putting his hand over her restless ones to still their nervous movements. He had noticed her discomfort and nervousness and only wanted to make her feel at ease. He didn't like seeing her so afraid of him, as though he might turn around and hurt her in the blink of an eye should she open up to him. That was the opposite of what he had been hoping to achieve.
"I-I always wonder what happened? Was it something I did? Something I said that made us drift apart, that made you so hostile towards me?" Her voice was soft as she spoke honestly, voicing out possibilities that had plagued her for so long. She had thought long and hard about why her only friend had turned her away and it was difficult to come to terms with the fact that she would never know, only left with the countless reasons she had thought of.
"It was never you, Rachel," Kurt told her sincerely. He felt guilty, seeing the girl battle herself with her memory, thinking that she had committed some mistake to drive him off, it wasn't fair to her and it never had been. At his words, Rachel's head shot upwards, curiousity filling her. Was this the chance she had been waiting for? The chance to finally learn the truth?
"Then what?"
"That day...That day, while I was at your party, having the time of my life with you, my mom was seriously ill and when my dad came to pick me up, she-she passed away. I felt like my world had just collapsed. How was I supposed to live without her? And then I felt guilty because in her last moments, she had been alone. I should have been with her and my dad should have been there too, not out fetching me from some party. I blamed myself for that and it wasn't hard to direct some of my anger towards you." Kurt paused to collect his thoughts. He had never spoken to anyone about his mom's death or how he felt about it, not even to his dad, and it wasn't easy to tell somebody he had until a while ago, treated as an enemy and a complete stranger.
When Kurt paused, Rachel couldn't help but ask, "All I wanted was to be there for you, Kurt. Why couldn't you have at least given me that chance?"
"I'm so sorry, Rach, I really am. I tried, I thought that I could put it past us but then you asked me if I wanted to watch Funny Girl with you and I just snapped. It wasn't your fault, it was mine. You must've thought that watching my mom's favourite movie would help me to feel closer to her, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it. It reminded me too much of her and so did you, that made it so difficult for me to be around you without thinking of her and the guilt I felt. It was selfish of me and I regret it but at the time, it was easier to push you away, to forget about you and just move on. It was wrong of me and I can't express how sorry I am." Kurt said shakily, unable to meet the brunette's eyes.
"It's okay, Kurt, I forgive you. I shouldn't have pushed you either, I should've been more understanding. I'm sorry, forgive me?"
"Of course, not that you even have anything to apologize for. Rachel, I want to give this another shot, if your willing. I want us to be friends," Kurt said, silently hoping that the girl would agree. He really wanted to make things right.
"That's all I ever wanted." Rachel told him sincerely as tears started clouding her vision. She had finally found her friend and understood what had happened so many years ago and it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. It had been a question that had remained at the back of her mind all these years when she had been lonely, without a friend in the world, as her thoughts often strayed back to the one time she had. It felt amazing to be free, to have that question answered once and for all and she couldn't stop tears from falling.
Kurt felt the same. All these years, something had been nagging at him, but he didn't know what and now that he knew and had done what needed to be done, he felt lighter. Looking at the beam on Rachel's face, his heart swelled and he couldn't help a genuine smile from forming on his lips. However, nothing could have prepare him for what happened next as he found himself with an armful of Rachel Berry as she launched herself at him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Once he had recovered from his shock, Kurt hugged her back just as enthusiastically and nothing had ever felt better.
A/N Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you thought. I'm contemplating continuing this with how they build a friendship and support each other but I haven't decided yet so tell me if you want to see more or if you feel the story should end here. Thanks!
