Buona lettura!

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR. It belongs to its respectful and rightful owner.


FEAR


"Good morning, sleepy head."

He woke up in his house at Japan, greeted by the smile of the woman he loved. Tsuna stared at her as she walked to the door. "Breakfast is ready. I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

It was the every normal day, when she was always the first thing he saw in the morning, and not the sunlight. He walked down the stairs and arrived at the kitchen, where she was preparing a mug and a coffee maker. He smiled, seeing the ring on her ring finger.

"The coffee will be ready in no time, Tsuna-san. So, just sit and relax."

"Ah, can I have a tea instead?"

"Okay, sure, anything for my husband." her bright smile was the only one that could tranquil him, that could make him smile back with the same bright and sincerity. "Which tea would you like? Gokudera-san has bought you Earl Grey. I can make it for both of us."

"Earl Grey it is then. Oh yeah, Haru?"

"Hmm?"

"We're married now, so stop calling me that." at his words, she stopped her activities. Silence filled the air for seconds, until she broke it. "I can't…" she turned around to him and said with mirthless eyes, "Because this isn't real."

His eyes slowly opened. He had fallen asleep on his desk with his head rested on his folded arms. He lifted his head while contemplating his dream. A dream is one's deepest wish, they say. Tsuna just realized how true it was. Even though it was a dream, even though it was as if he was living the moment he ever dreamed of, he wasn't too pleased about it. It meant nothing to him if it wasn't real. It pierced his heart even more.

A knock on the door was heard, but he just sat quietly. If it was his guardians or anyone he knew, they should know they had already been given privilege to come in without having to knock. But whoever it was didn't open the door, so he stood up and opened the door—and to his surprise, it was Kyoko.

"I thought you're leaving Italy yesterday. What is it?" he asked.

"I forgot to give you this." she handed over the charm she had given him. Tsuna just stared at it, but didn't accept it. "You never hold onto this ever since a year ago."

"Oh… sorry…" he took the charm and slid it inside his pocket. Then, he noticed how she looked at him. She was sad, he could tell. "What's wrong?"

"Do you… love Haru-chan that much?"

His eyes widened. "What?"

"You're doing this for her, aren't you? Reborn-kun told me. For someone as kind as you… to think it only took her death to change you… you must be really love her."

"If I did this for her, then I betrayed her trust."

"Betrayed?"

"She believed in me, that I can change the Vongola way into Primo's way. Even until now, I can still remember her eyes and her smile when she said that. It was filled with so many trust and hope for me. I know what I'm doing isn't right. I don't have the rights to say I love her."

"Then, who are you doing this for?"

"Everyone that's still alive." he answered simply.

"Please stop this. If you know this isn't what Haru-chan wanted, don't disappoint her. Tsuna-kun… let's go back to Japan together."

"Eh?" much to his surprise, Kyoko hugged him. "Can't you just move on? I'm sure that's what she wanted. I still… love you. Give your heart a chance to move forward, and maybe… to love someone else."

Although she expected for him to hug back, he didn't. "I already moved on. My action is the proof. Look, if I didn't do this, all of you would be long dead by now. You don't need someone like me."

"You're wrong. I do, because I know you're still the same Tsuna-kun I met 10 years ago, I know you wouldn't hurt me."

He twitched. He pushed her away and gripped her arm so tightly that she winced in pain, and he glared at her. "This is not one of your fantasy or your girlish dream. If you try to stop me from trying to protect everyone and love Haru, I won't hesitate to make you cry." his sharp and menacing glare froze her in fear. He never looked at her in such hateful way. It wasn't his threat that made her tears shed. She still loved him and still believed he wasn't the man anyone said.

But now she knew how wrong she was. She cried, for her belief shattered, she cried, for her unrequited love. Thus, she walked away from him in fast pace with tears. He didn't stop her, but he kept looking her figure leaving. He could never yell at Kyoko, but he could threaten her for her safety. He might not love her anymore, but she was the least person who should be involved with him.

If Haru was there, he could imagine what she would say.

"Tsuna-san!"

He flinched, and then he turned around, widening his eyes. The image was blur, but it was as if Haru was there, reprimanding him. Even though it was a personification of his imagination, a transparent visual of her, it felt like she was really there. He even could see her angry look.

"Why did you do that to Kyoko-chan?! Don't be mean to her!"

He couldn't help it. His face looked disbelief as he was walking towards her, but there was a bit of hope on his eyes. "Haru…" he stopped in front of her, wanting to touch her face, but his hand froze and trembled. Eventually, he fell on his knees while kept eyeing on her.

Her angry face turned to a smiling sigh. She squatted and hugged him. "I'm sorry I made you do this. I can feel your suffering and the tears you've been holding. A man cries from his heart, not from his eyes, and I know, your heart cries ever since I died."

"Haru…" he was speechless. His emotion leaked. At the moment, he was at a very fragile state. Even if the words she was saying came from him, it still felt like what Haru would say, and it felt so real if she spoke it.

"But Tsuna-san… what you're doing doesn't make me happy. You should stop this. Don't welcome the darkness or you'll never be able to see your friends again."

"I… can't… if I stopped this, then everyone will…"

"I know. Then please always remember this… whenever you feel alone, if you're stuck in a pit that makes you astray and keeps you away from everybody else… I want you to know that I'm always here for you. Even if I died a year ago, I would come back to you and save you from that pit no matter how many times it takes. I'll always be here for you."

It felt so reassuring; it tranquilized his heart and mind. He wanted to hug her back, but as he did, it penetrated through her, and thus, her image vanished. Those words might not what she truly felt, but it was more than enough to make him trembled. He bit his lips while eyeing at the floor, trying his best not to shed his tears, but it failed. Those words were what he wanted to hear, what he wanted Haru to say.

The tears had formed on his eyes, but it didn't stream through his cheek. It stuck on his eyes and he kept it that way. As he was trying to stand upright, on the balcony, a person with a black cloak and a hood surprised him—the same person he had seen before. He or she didn't say a word, both at still state, looking at each other. The hooded seemed shorter than him.

After the seconds of silence, the hooded jumped to the back and headed to the forest. Tsuna scurried to the balcony and saw the figure went inside the forest. This time, he didn't plan on disregarding it, and instead, he drank his pills, and flew to the forest. Inside the forest, he hovered around to find that person. His head turned everywhere, trying to catch every small movement. It didn't take him too long until he found a group of people. He went there, but his findings contradicted to his goal. He just encountered an enemy.

"Well, look who drove himself here." one Mafioso smirked while approaching him. "Hey, I don't think we need to sneak inside Vongola's base to catch the fish. The fish came to us." he lit his lightning flame through his ring, injected it into a box, and let out a Halberd. The other four Mafioso behind him did the same, but with different weapons.

Tsuna couldn't call for backup. He had to fight them alone, but for several normal-looking Mafioso, they sure had an intense flame. He suspected they might be skilled hitmen that was sent by a family. Just as he was going to move, the Mafioso with brass knuckles outwitted him, punching his face brutally that he got tossed sideways. But what made it worse was that when the enemies were approaching him with deadly aura, he couldn't move.

Then, he just noticed his body was coated with rain flame, which a feat done by one of them who had rain flame. His cheek bruised, blood appeared on his lips, flowing through his chin while they were going to kill him.

But luckily yet surprisingly, they heard a horse coming to their direction. Much to their surprise, the white horse was running towards them and there was one hooded person on it while holding a katana, slashing them one by one with little effort. Afterwards, Tsuna could feel his body again. He looked up at the hooded person. He couldn't see the face, only mouth and nose.

As he was staring at the person, a hand blocked his view. That hand emitted an indigo flame that surrounded his face and made him collapse.


"There's nothing we can do."

Tsuna opened his eyes as he heard Reborn's voice. When his eyes were completely opened, he was in a meeting room with everyone else, except he was on the corner of the room while they were on their respectful seat. "We can't disobey him. He's our boss—your boss now." Reborn added.

"I know that. But this juudaime is just…"

"Inhuman." Ryohei added.

"What did you say, lawn head?!" Gokudera broke loose. "Juudaime may be like that but he—!"

"But it's a fact," Chrome interrupted, and caught everyone's attention. "The boss has changed. He's not the kind boss anymore. Even… even all of us here are afraid of him, right?"

Gokudera fell silence and calmed down. He knew Chrome was right. He started to fear of his own boss—the person whom he swore his loyalty to.

"What… what are you guys talking about? I'm right here!" Tsuna shouted, but they seemed to not notice his presence. Moreover, when he was trying to touch Yamamoto, it penetrated through his shoulder. All of the sudden, Tsuna felt a hand on his own shoulder. He turned around to see the hooded person. His anger escalated drastically.

"What's going on here?! Is this your illusion?! I know they might fear me, but this isn't the scenario I was thinking of! Cut your crap! I don't need to see this!"

The hooded one just stood calmly, didn't falter at his anger. "Despite that, deep down, you know this is real." Tsuna flinched at the overlapping voices—like both came from woman and male voice. "You, for one, who have Vongola's hyper intuition should know the difference between illusions and reality."

"What?!"

"You've yet to see the big picture."

After the person said that, a subordinate slammed the door open. "Bad news! The second squad just spotted Decimo collapsed in the woods and being dragged away by someone else! I need your permission to go rescue him!"

Gokudera just stood quiet while everyone was waiting for his answer. "It's not needed." everyone was surprised by his decision, but not as surprised as Tsuna who was gobsmacked. "W-What do you mean by…? We're supposed to protect our boss… right?"

"He can protect himself. Don't leave your assigned post, that's the rule. Tell squad 2 to continue their task and don't mind juudaime."

"A-All right." with that, the subordinate left.

Ryohei sighed. "I guess from now on, our relationship is just a boss-subordinate relationship."

Tsuna widened his eyes in shock. None of them stood up for him. "What are you guys saying?! I do this for all of you! You—!"

"Now you know," Tsuna instantly looked back at the hooded person. "This is the aftermath of your new system. Even if you do this for a good deed, if you use darkness as way out, you'll eventually fall into its mightiness. Your guardians now see you as a heartless and coldblooded leader—not a friend, and there's nothing you can do about that."

"But, I…" his fists were clenched tightly as his eyes were shut close in tremble.

"If you fall to deep, you can't go back."

He abruptly opened his eyes at the familiar sentence.


He woke up by the bright light of a ceiling lamp, and moreover, in an unknown room. He had a plaster on his cheek.

"Are you okay, boss?" Tsuna met his eyes with an old man he didn't know of.

"Where am I? And who are you?"

"I'm just an old man who lives alone in his house. You were punched quite badly. I'm glad that kind young lady brought you to me."

"Young lady?"

The old man nodded while pouring tea and then gave it to Tsuna. He accepted the cup of tea. "Wait, have you heard anything from my guardians?" he asked.

"No, I'm afraid they haven't gotten here. It's strange, though. I just saw some Vongola members were patrolling the area. They should've seen you and informed the guardians."

"I see…" Tsuna looked down and stared at the cup.

"Drink up, boss. You need it. After that, you can go back if you want." the old man headed for the door.

"Ah, yes. Thank you very much for your help."

After the old man gave off a smile and nod, he left Tsuna alone in the bedroom. He couldn't drink his tea. As he saw his reflection through the tea, it reminded him of the previous event, and it made him see what a monster he was.

His guardians should be afraid of him, he knew. He was a monster that struggled to protect his friends, and he had fallen into the darkest hole to achieve that. Sometimes he wondered why his Vongola gear didn't reject him. He never knew why, but that didn't matter to him.

Because all that matter was that he had to protect everyone alone, despite the fact he was protecting the ones that feared him, that didn't consider him as a friend anymore. But it was the risk he had to take, a mistake he had to live with. He would still be the monster—the dark sky, in order to keep his friends safe.