Title: Day in the life of Orgy XIII
Rating: T
Pairings: Too many to name. They're an orgy /shot
Summary: Just a day in the life of Organization XIII in Castle Oblivion
Disclaimer: My friends and I are special and we make our own cracked out versions of how the characters act behind the camera. We wish we owned these characters, but sadly, all we can do is cosplay them.
Notes: CRACK. CRACK. AND MORE CRACK. It's nothing but a parody so don't take this too seriously. Also, the grammar is off for certain reasons. And I use italics too much. What can you do?
Extra Notes: I am surprised anyone would read this. Happy Holidays.
Chapter Three: It's Christmas!
So, normal Christmas shenanigans involve some type of gift giving from person to person. Within a household that encompasses thirteen imbeciles, that isn't all that difficult, especially since these thirteen imbeciles are quite skilled at obtaining munny. Some might play a few tunes (Demyx), others might sell some flowers (Marluxia), and then there are those who would either strip or scandalously give kisses for money (Axel.)
Yes, the Christmas season is something to definitely be proud of with people like this living under the same roof and all gazing at the same tree, which has spectacularly bright lights that made you feel a slight high along with an extensive amount of sugar from a soda-that-shall-not-be-named. Yes, incredibly proud.
And so once Christmas finally rolls around, the members of Organization XIII come together collectively to bask in the glow of the tree, drink eggnog to their hearts (aha!) content, and give each other gifts that are either really ugly, pretty awesome, or so stupid that the gift receiver will blow chunks and try to kill the gift giver.
Funny, that last one always happens at some point or other.
And of course it's always the same two people. You would think after two consecutive times that Axel had given Roxas the same gift-a big pink dildo-that he would learn his lesson. However, no, he would never learn his lesson because apparently he liked being chased by blond midgets who swung their key blades around all willy-nilly and the like. Yes, I'm pretty sure Axel is a masochist; who is the one that wear the pants in that relationship anyway?
Either way, the Superior alongside the others had taken to betting on what Axel's present was going to be for Christmas prior to him handing it over to the chosen one. Mansex-I mean Xemnas-tallied up the score and almost everyone except for Demyx and Larxene thought he was going to give him the same gift as he always did. And they were right.
Demyx and Larxene ended up voting for chimichangas (Demyx) and Twinkies (Larxene). Why they did that? They were hungry and Marluxia was still cooking the turkey.
"Axel…" Roxas said, a hint of anger in his voice. The fire crotch grinned as his friend/boyfriend/screwing-buddy/whatevernametheygaveeachothe r-maybefuufuucuddlypoops opened his present.
"Yes?" The redhead said sweetly, one foot poised to run as he was half laying, half leaving the couch where he was supposed to be sitting on.
"Run."
"With pleasure."
And so the hunt began. Saix and Xemnas began taking gil from Larxene and Demyx who were screeching about the fact that Marluxia needed to hurry his ass with the food because they were starving and were about to die. Xigbar and Luxord were casually sitting at a table taking shots of spiked eggnog and daring each other to either retrieve Axel or stop Roxas.
Fun fact: Neither of them could move and inch from their chairs before falling flat on their asses, and when they both decided to go and get them, that is exactly what they did. Lexeaus was about to pick up the two drunk men while wearing his ghastly Christmas sweater (hand-knit by Zexion-I mean really the thing is just hideous), but he stopped once both the red head and blond came back inside.
Xion had been sitting innocently at the tree, her eyes opened wide in wonder as she stared into Oblivion at the tree. The blue lights burning into her retinas so that every time she blinked she would see the little lights sparkle or twinkle in her vision. Once she finally did move form her spot however, she was singing some odd Christmas tune in which Luxord and Xigbar managed to sing along with her from their spot on the floor. (Face down mind you.)
Axel ran back into the room, panting heavily like he had just run a marathon-which he probably did with Roxas chasing after him unless they did stuff but they were gone for like five minutes-and ran behind Xemnas.
"I am not shielding you."
"Oh come on Superior Crotch he's gonna kill me!"
"Your boyfriend, your problem." And then he moved as soon as he finished his sentence. Saix pulled Xemnas away but not without giving a squeeze to Axel's tush and chuckling darkly. The two of them left the room in order to go check Marluxia's progress.
Axel groaned as Roxas came towards him, but ducked behind the couch just as the blond flew on top of it. He ended up hitting Xaldin right in the crotch with his head, and both of them glared at one another, before Money Man picked up the troublemaker by his hair.
"Whoa whoa! You can't damage him!" Xaldin snarled and threw the poor boy at the redhead and the duo fell down to the floor. Once Roxas realized he once again had gained a hold of the redhead idiot, he didn't do much pile a flurry of smacks onto his head.
"Stupid present. Stupid Axel. I TOLD YOU NOT TO GIVE ME THIS!" He kept on hitting him repeatedly until Xion stopped to look at the tree and at her two best friends before getting up and walking to Roxas. She pulled the boy off of his lover and dragged him to the tree and he waved his arms wildly. "Noooooooo! Lemme go!" He cried, but she wouldn't let go of him. Once they both sat at the tree, he made him look at the lights and his arms went slack.
Both of them sat cross legged in front of it, staring at it with wonder before Xion started singing again. The lyrics were unknown but there was just one phrase that was audible.
"Y'all got a gay, hey hey hey…" Roxas joined in and Axel figured what the hell why not sit with them. As he sat next to Roxas, the three of them sang together until Marluxia FINALLY finished the grub.
