CHAPTER 2
As soon as Cecil unlocked Elizabeth's front door to let her in, Laila went straight through the house into the drawing room where Elizabeth was sat at her desk. By some miracle she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror above the fireplace and was reminded instantly that she needed to change before she talked to Elizabeth. But fortune wasn't on her side; she only had time to brush the last leaves out of her hair before Elizabeth looked up from the letter she was writing and saw her.
"What happened to the agreement that you'd be changed before you returned home?" Elizabeth asked sharply, noting the clothing parcel still tucked underneath one arm.
Laila hesitated for a moment, trying to think quickly of an excuse to use before giving up and responding "I came as soon as Cecil told me, there wasn't any time."
"Well, thank you for coming back on such short notice." Elizabeth said as she looked back down as her letter; Laila sighed quietly with relief when the subject was changed away from her clothing. Writing the last word on her letter she put the quill down and closed the inkwell before meeting Laila's eyes. "It has been brought to my attention that there will be a Tudor hierarchy meeting next Moon-day." Laila leaned over Elizabeth's open diary to work out how long away that was, and was surprised to find that today was Saturn-day and there were only two days before Elizabeth would need to be in TudorTown. "I'll be there for a week, and during that time you'll be staying in MonarchsVille with Charlie."
A grin lit up Laila's face when Elizabeth said she'd be staying with Charles. A whole week where I can do what I like- this is exactly what I need, she thought joyously. "Thanks Lizzie!" she exclaimed, "When do you need me to be there."
"Well I know you're helping out in the Historical Hospital tomorrow, so I thought it would make sense if you simply went back to Charlie's house rather than returning home after your shift ends," Elizabeth said. "Though in that case you'll need to take any belongings you need with you over there beforehand. It's your decision, as long as you're out of the house by Sun-day evening. Pygmy will be accompanying me to TudorTown, so there'll be no-one to look after you if you're still here."
"That makes sense. I think I'll take everything over there now, if you don't mind." Elizabeth nodded in acknowledgement before taking out another sheet of paper and beginning to write.
Interpreting that as her dismissal, Laila backed quietly out of the drawing room before heading upstairs to where her bedroom was. Her fashion fix parcel was practically falling apart after being taken across MonarchsVille and back so she started by laying out the contents across her bed, raiding her wardrobe for enough clothes to last her the rest of the week away from home. Glancing at the clouded sky out her window, she took the new cloak from her parcel and attached it round her neck, admiring the blue jewelled clasp for a moment, before focusing back on the task at hand. She made a rough job of folding up the dresses so she'd have room for a few other things she'd need then turned to the chest at the end of her bed. Rummaging through her books, she tucked a copy of 'Bob Hale's Incredible Fact Book' into the bag to keep her occupied, but left 'The History of Fishes' firmly at the bottom of the chest. When her gaze drifted to the longbow and quiver by the head of her bed, she considered for a moment before slinging the bow over her shoulder and tying the quiver round her waist. Knowing full well that Elizabeth wouldn't be very impressed seeing her with her full weaponry - she had voiced severe doubts when Boudicca first suggested teaching Laila how to shoot - she snuck out the front door without bidding her adopted mother goodbye.
The distance between Elizabeth and Charles' houses was short enough that it wasn't worth riding, but that meant Charles would probably still be with George at the Historical Dentist by the time she got there regardless of how slowly she walked. The sound of the branches above her being blown by the gentle breeze gave her an idea though; Charles didn't know she was coming anyway, so it wouldn't hurt anyone if she went through the Skinnymandrian Forest rather than taking the direct route. It had been a couple of weeks since she'd been there anyway, so with her mind made up she turned her back on MonarchsVille and set out towards the trees.
As always, Laila kept her wits about her as she walked down the main forest path. Her eyes were peeled for any sign of the man she was searching for, but as she ventured further away from the capital city she tried not to let her hopes dip too much. The sound of another horse galloping through the forest made her spirits soar however, eagerly running in the direction of the sound while looking out for the telltale black cloak and three-pointed hat.
"Stand and deliver, your money or your life!" A voice sounded out, igniting a smile on Laila's face. She was known enough throughout Skinnymandria that none of the other highwaymen would dare to approach her, the fear of Elizabeth's wrath stronger than the need to fill their purses. For that reason, she had agreed with this particular highwayman that his former catchphrase would be their secret code, as he was the only person who would say it to her. She was confused, however, as despite the voice she couldn't see another horse anywhere in the area. It was only when the glossy-coated black mare burst out of the undergrowth almost right beside her that she saw Turpin at last. The horse reared in alarm it spotted Laila mere feet in front of it, and when Laila took an instinctive step backwards she lost her footing and fell backwards into a hawthorn bush.
"I can see why you're the most wanted criminal in Skinnymandria if you go around doing that to people!" she groaned as Turpin's concerned face appeared above her.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise you were that close," Turpin apologised as he helped her to her feet, "You're alright though?"
After brushing stray bits of foliage off of her dress, she looked back at Turpin and nodded. "Just about. That's the second time I've been covered in leaves today." When he looked at her confusedly, she added "I lost the lion in the forest again" by means of explanation.
Turpin raised his eyebrows. "I'm surprised Elagabalus still lets you have control of that beast," he chuckled, "I still remember what happened when he got into the Stone Age Settlement!"
Laila groaned again, covering her face with her hands. "Don't remind me. I'm surprised Ugg and Grunt have let me live it down!"
"I imagine Elizabeth will have you executed if she sees you in this state," Turpin remarked, reaching out to pick the remaining twigs out of her hair, "providing you still live with her?"
"Oh yes," Laila nodded, "Funnily enough, I was only having this conversation with Charlie this morning. I wouldn't want to live on my own; most of the Monarchs who don't live alongside relatives have their secretaries sharing the house with them, and I haven't got one of those." Just like Cecil lived with Elizabeth and Laila, Charles had Sotherby to keep him company when he wasn't hosting any parties and the first George had his Prime Minister Walpole living with him as a terrible translator from German to English. Unlike their predecessor, Georges III and IV lived with each other and a large quantity of doctors to keep an eye on George III's madness.
Turpin paused in thought for a moment before speaking again. "Is there not anyone else in Skinnymandria other than the MonarchsVille residents who would have you? Even just for a short while, as a break from living with Elizabeth?"
Laila shrugged, "I suppose so, though I haven't really thought about it in much detail. I expect I'd be made welcome in the War Zone even though I'm a girl, half their army seems to be made up of women these days." Turpin let out a short laugh, and Laila silenced him with a stern look before it disintegrated into a smile. "But I doubt I'd last very long with the Home Guard around, you wouldn't believe how many accident books they've gone through!"
"You don't need to explain, I remember all that from when I was still living in GeorgianTown," Turpin laughed again, "Even the Chief Guard managed to land himself in the Historical Hospital on more than one occasion!"
"Nothing's changed there, he was in there only last Sun-day for a pulled muscle in his back," Laila giggled, "The irony is that he was giving a first aid demonstration when he sustained the injury!"
"I'd say that idea isn't such a great one then. Anyone else?"
Laila paused to consider for a moment. "I suppose I could see how I fare in the Navy, Beaty's said he'd take me on as an apprentice medic of sorts. Or there's Joan of Arc, I've got on well with her since Boudicca introduced me a couple of years ago."
"Well I wouldn't rejoin the Georgian Navy for anything, " Turpin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Never managed to get my sea legs. Terrible time." Once Laila's laughter had subsided, his gaze softened as he added hesitantly "You could always live out here with me?"
Laila could only stare for a couple of seconds, unable to think of an answer. "There are times when I'd love to," she began with, meaning every word. "But I couldn't. I'd have to cut myself away from everyone in Skinnymandria, and I'd miss them too much."
"And you don't miss me?" Turpin asked immediately. Something that might have been hurt flashed across his expression for a brief second.
"Of course I do," she smiled unhappily, "but at least we've got an arrangement where I can still see you regularly. If I joined you, they'd have no choice but to declare me a criminal and I'd never be able to see any of them again."
Turpin let out a frustrated huff that Laila knew from experience was him admitting she was right. After a moment's silence he said "I ought to get moving again, it's too dangerous to stay in one place for too long. Until next time." Without another word he climbed back onto his horse and cantered into the distance, out of earshot before Laila had a chance to call a goodbye.
As she waved to his retreating figure she couldn't help but sigh. She knew she'd likely upset him, but unless he was allowed back into Skinnymandria by some miracle then she could see no way around it. Pushing the problem of Turpin out of her mind, she picked her bag back up and turned back towards MonarchsVille.
Laila was happy to see that Charles was back home when she knocked on his door, but the glum look in his dark brown eyes made her pause for a moment. "Looks like someone's caught the blue-blooded blues," she commented with a forced smile, knowing from experience that sometimes the best way to cheer up Charles was to make him laugh, but he only sighed and nodded. Leading him into the drawing room, she put her belongings down on the floor before sitting him down and giving him a fierce 'what's wrong' look.
Charles sighed again before starting to speak. "After getting George to the Historical Dentist, I stopped by at Lizzie's house to ask about getting you some more freedom."
"I'm guessing her response wasn't what you were hoping for," Laila assumed with a sympathetic smile.
"Ha. No," Charles laughed shortly, "To put it briefly, I was told that I was being a sumph- I think that's Tudor slang for idiot? - and that if I pressed it again she would make me shorter by a head."
Laila could only sigh in response, flopping back in her seat with an exasperated look on her face. Although most people had got used to Elizabeth's constant threatening to execute people, Charles had always been upset by the subject since he'd nearly lost his father to the executioner's axe. He had only been saved by Hephaestion's timely arrival, and that act had led to the introduction of the 'no deliberate killing' rule that was established throughout Skinnymandria. Giving her friend a comforting hug, she said to him "I know the Tudors in particular talk about beheading far too much, but just try to ignore them. At least we all know it can never happen again thanks to Heph's rule."
"I know," Charles mumbled into her shoulder, "but it doesn't make it any easier."
The sound of frantic knocking made Laila jump, and after Charles managed to give her a shaky smile they both made their way to the door. To Laila's surprise, they opened the door to see a tearful Richard III and furious-looking Boudicca on the doorstep.
"Lizzie told us you'd be here," Boudicca said abruptly, marching past Laila and into the dining room without waiting for an invitation. Laila and Charles exchanged a confused glance before following her in, Laila taking Richard's hand and leading him behind her. When they were all sat down at Charles' enormous dinner table, Charles motioned at Boudicca to continue. "We've got a Tudor problem, and we figured you'd be the best person to talk to."
Richard sniffed as he nodded, prompting Charles to hand him a handkerchief. "The two Henrys' are making their hunchback jokes again, saying that I've got a limp and a withered arm. It's completely untrue!"
"I'll bet this is Shakespeare's doing too," Charles sighed as Laila made an attempt to sooth Richard. The Tudor playwright had a habit of putting Richard in a bad light, something not helped by the fact that one of his most popular plays featured a twisted version of Richard as the enemy.
"You're not wrong," Boudicca pulled a rolled sheet of paper from her swordbelt as she spoke, laying it out on the table. On it was a terribly inaccurate painting of Richard, showing him to have a significant humped back and a tiny withered arm. Written below the painting were the words, 'My horse, my horse, my kingdom for a horse!'.
As Laila and Charles took a good look at the poster, Richard cried "I didn't even say that!"
"Isn't that the painter who does all of Oliver Cromwell's portraits?" Laila asked, pointing to the name signed at the bottom of the poster.
Charles frowned thoughtfully as he read the name. "I think you might be right. I guess he specialises in painting ugly pictures, but the difference is that Cromwell's are pretty spot."
"All I can promise is that the next time I see Heph, I'll talk to him." Laila smiled in resignation. "Maybe I'll win another Nobel Peace Prize for getting Shakespeare to keep his thoughts to himself. I'll warn you though; Alexander once said to me that the person who can finally make peace between all the Monarchs all the time deserves their own statue!"
"I'm surprised he hadn't tried harder then!" Boudicca remarked, finally bringing the smiles back to Charles and Richard's forlorn faces.
