Turns out Baker is incredibly incompetent at cooking, so you have to take over. You stick a can opener and a can of fruit cocktail in his hands and begin boiling water for your box macaroni and cheese. It really hasn't been too long since you've last made yourself some highly processed kid food, but it seems like a long time because being on that road seems like it took years.
Seems like it was years ago you died, too.
But damn, weren't you a badass in your way of going out? Way more badass than you figure any of the others were. You mention this to Baker over your fruit cocktail – which took Baker way too long to open, Jesus Christ had he ever been in a kitchen before? – and macaroni and cheese. Baker takes a while to answer.
"Parker went out the same way as you. Not as gross, though, he died right away," Baker says.
You scoff. Idiot.
"But he managed to kill a soldier."
Okay. What the fuck. It's seriously not possible for someone to be as badass as Collie Parker is.
"Any other noteable deaths?" You think about asking him about his, then decide that, even though Baker has established himself to be a bit obsessed with death, he probably doesn't want to talk about how he dies. He shakes his head slowly, then drops his fork.
"Oh! Barkovitch," he nods, and you just look at him. Barkovitch? That annoying little shit that surprised you when he lasted longer than the first day? "He tore his throat out."
Okay.
Maybe Barkovitch has beat out all of you in terms of 'most badass death.'
Nah. You still win in that. Even if Collie Parker shot a soldier. You're still way more badass.
You hear someone shouting Baker's name from outside. From the ridiculously deep voice, you suppose it's Abraham, probably accompanied by Parker. Baker smiles and abandons his food, making for the door and nearly tripping over a footstool. You follow, albiet a bit slower and more careful.
"Abe!" Baker calls out the door. Abraham turns and grins. He doesn't see you yet. Good. You hope to give the fucker a surprise.
Once he comes into the light coming out of the house, you can admire the damange you did to his face. His nose is swollen up, his face is bruised, and damn it, he found normal band-aids. You want to rip those stupid-ass band-aids off of his face and shove them down his throat. How will he like those normal band-aids then?
"Parker! I found him!" Abraham calls over his shoulder, and Parker calls something unintelligable but probably profanity-filled back. Abraham rolls his eyes and you decide that it's the best time to step into view.
"Fuck off, you ginger freak," you say. He looks offended… and then takes one look at the princess band-aid on your face and bursts out laughing. You feel yourself turning red. "Shut up."
"Aw, Olson, are you a pretty princess?" he chokes on his words and you really want to wipe that stupid grin off of his face. "Ah, fuck, this is just great."
Baker is looking between the two of you, a sort-of smile on his face. You can tell he doesn't know what to do.
You just hope he stays with you. If he leaves with Abraham you don't know what you'll do.
Probably join up with the outsider freaks. Stebbins and Barkovitch. The ones nobody liked. Great. You're going to be an outsider, and all because of this stupid fucking charismatic Abraham. Damn it.
You are all momentarily distracted by Parker and someone who looks like Barkovitch – you can't really tell in this light, it's getting pretty dark – wandering around, arguing loudly. Yeah, that annoying voice is Barkovitch. He's walking backwards. It's really a miracle he hasn't tripped yet – oh, there he goes. Parker laughs.
"Anyway!" Abraham says, bringing your conversation back to Baker. "You wanna come with me and Parker? We're gonna find a huge house and just fuck around, have fun, I think Davidson's coming along, too… Maybe Harkness and Pearson…"
You can tell Baker wants to go. Why the hell would he stay with you and your princess band-aids and box macaroni and cheese when he could go with Abraham and his parties and Davidson, who, while not badass, was probably the coolest guy on the Walk, if his stories of his sexual exploits said anything about him.
Baker looks at you, then back at Abraham, and nods. "Okay," he says.
Fuck.
You didn't think he'd actually leave you.
Well, you could always pick up whatever's left of Barkovitch once Parker's done with him. It mostly seems to be verbal jabs from what you can see and hear from where you're standing, but you suspect it'll get physical soon enough. And it just has. Barkovitch, who was still on the ground, manages to yank Parker's legs from under him to send him sprawling, too.
Ooh. This should be interesting.
You inch closer. Abraham and Baker do, too, because what better to do when there's a fight than to crowd around and cheer the guys on? Davidson shows up too, and you think that's McVries over there, there's Scramm and Harkness and Pearson.
"You did not just fucking do that, you goddam little prick," Parker snarles, and you can see Barkovitch shrink a little bit under Parker's glare but he manages to respond in spite of this.
"Yeah?" he asks. "'Cause, it kinda looks like I did."
And then Parker's up, grabbing the front of Barkovitch's shirt and pulling him up to his level. Barkovitch is on his tiptoes, his hands up to Parker's in a weak attempt to push him away. It's Harkness that starts the typical 'fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!' chant, and nobody probably would've picked it up had it not been for Davidson. Everyone follows Davidson's lead and then you're chanting 'fight!' as Parker hits Barkovitch and Barkovitch, who knows he really has no chance, tries to get the fuck away.
"Just cut it out already," someone says at last. Parker pauses and glances around. Barkovitch takes this moment to pull free and slip away through the crowd.
You have no idea who said that.
And then Peter McVries steps out of the crowd, a sad smile on his face. "It's not worth it," he says. "I mean, yeah, we all hated him, but we're all dead now. Time to forgive and forget, right? I mean… think about what the kid went through to get to this stupid afterlife anyway. Or did you forget? He tore his fucking throat out. I don't like him. I don't like him at all, but I pity him. And I think you've made your point."
"You wanna go next, scarface?" Parker snaps. McVries laughs.
"You're just like him. Shit, a lot of us are just like him. Olson, you, Stebbins… Abraham, Baker… alright, maybe not Davidson, but that's just 'cause I don't know him well enough," McVries takes a deep breath. "And there we go. I've just given him enough time to escape. Maybe you won't keep trying to get under his skin. Ignore him all you want, and if he's a bastard to you, then by all means be a bastard back, but… seriously, Parker. I was watching you guys the whole time. He didn't do anything until you shoved your way into his little world."
"That was beautiful," Abraham said after a brief pause. "And kind of weird, listening to you defend him like that."
"Why not defend the outcast?" Stebbins said. He was a bit away from the group, grinning secretively.
You don't know what's up here, but you do know that you don't like it. It's not right.
You decide to go finish off that macaroni and cheese. It's probably cold and gross by now, but who gives a fuck.
i really don't know where this is going
