Her feet pounded against the dirt and gravel road as she made her way from the farmhouse to the center of town. She'd never had a bad sense of direction and it hadn't taken long for her to figure out the layout of the town. Lindsay's parents house wasn't as far from town as it seemed, and she had a while to run this morning, so she was taking her time, breathing in the crisp mountain air and enjoying the warmth of the morning.

She'd been sleeping peacefully, minding her own business when she'd felt water on her face. She opened her eyes to find Lindsay standing over her giggling and squeezing her wet hair until it dribbled onto Austin's nose.

"What are you doing?"

"Waking you up. You comin' to church with us? You can say no, I promise."

"I think I'll stay here."

"Alright. We'll be back around noon. Don't worry about lockin' the door if you leave."

Austin had waited until the house was quiet before she got out of bed, throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before tying her tennis shoes and heading outside.

Once she started running she found it very hard to stop, and she weaved all over town, not seeing a soul. Most of the businesses were closed and she figured that in such a small town, everyone was at church on a Sunday morning. It was strange to be in such a place where the buildings never reached a tenth floor, the roads only had one lane, and everyone knew everyone else. It was close-knit, she could tell just from what little she'd seen of it, and in some way it reminded her of New York. Outsiders would be obvious, not shunned but never made a real part of the community anyway. She'd laughed when Lindsay described Bozeman as a big city in comparison to the town she'd grown up in, which was tiny, even for Montana. The population couldn't have been much over two thousand and she was surprised they even had a high school, much less a specialized beading store.

Her steps slowed as she rounded the corner onto the only major road in town. The diner was just across the way from her and she stopped running, standing on the corner and just staring at it. Years ago, after Lindsay had told her what happened, she'd gotten online and read as much about the case as she could. Most of what she could find was stuff on the trial, but with a little investigating she'd been able to find copies of the original newspaper articles. She'd worked backwards, preparing herself for that first article, the front page covered in a picture of the diner, crime tape criss-crossing the doors, the haunting words about one survivor. She'd read that line over and over again, her heart beating faster at the thought that a slight change in timing, one stray bullet and she would have lost her best friend before they even met.

Thinking of it now, when she was standing so close to the very place where it had all happened made the hair stand up on the back of her neck. Taking a deep breath, she crossed the street and peeked into the windows.

The entire place had been renovated, and casual passers-by would never know what had gone on here. The entire building was different now and she wondered how the diner had stayed in business, especially in such a small town. Then she saw the line of pictures above the registers. Lindsay's friends and the young waitress were all smiling back at her from the frames. Their names were displayed under their pictures and while it wasn't a cross on the side of the road, it was a fitting memorial for the girls whose lives had barely started. She didn't have to see their names to know who they were, the pictures in the paper had been burned into her mind. Amy Hartman, Stephanie Lewis, Kelly Flannery and the waitress Lisa Kade.

She knew Lindsay had not been back in since that night and had avoided it like the plague as much as she could. Austin had done the same thing with her parent's basement, but a few years ago, she'd had no choice but to face it. She shook the memory from her head, for as painful and terrifying as it had been, she rarely dreamed of that place anymore. And in her heart, she knew Lindsay needed that release too. It had started with the trial, with that psychopath finally being put behind bars, but it had to come full circle, and she needed to face the place that scared her so much. She had to go in.

Letting out a long sigh, Austin started up running again, blinking away the thoughts and focusing on the color of the flowers, the monstrosity of the sky and mountains that were so tall they took her breath away. It was no wonder Lindsay was so in love with this place, no wonder she'd barely stopped smiling since they arrived. It was beautiful here, in a way the New York City could never match. She'd probably miss this when they went home.

About half a mile from the house she started to sprint, using the adrenaline that had been pumping through her veins since she'd set her feet onto the ground earlier. She found herself in love with the crunching gravel under her shoes and she ran harder, listening to it and keeping it in her memory. Once she made it to the house she slowed back down and collapsed onto the porch, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as birds chirped around her. It was a peaceful end to the run and she took a deep breath, figuring she would stay like that for a little while.

"Hey look, roadkill!"

Austin cracked her eyes open and found Lindsay and her parents standing there in their Sunday best, grinning widely.

"Went for a run," she explained, sitting up. "What?"

"Nothin'. You gonna clean up so you can eat lunch with us or shall we serve it to you out here?"

"I'm not one of the kids Linds."

"Had me fooled."

Austin grimaced at her as she leaned down and offered a hand to pull her up.

"Thanks," Austin said, raking her hair out of her eyes. "How was church?"

Lindsay gave a half shrug as her parents went inside.

"It's always kind of weird. It's still a part of me but it's also so buried and kind of painful. I don't hate going but I don't love it either."

"You look a little different."

"It's just strange. Anyway, you ran?"

"Yeah, just into town and back. It's gorgeous out here."

"Yes it is. I can't wait to have all three of my boys out here, watching them play in the dirt and run through the fields and climb the trees."

"I want my kids to do that too. Feel the earth under their feet."

"Maybe a summer trip sometime."

"Isa would love it out here. All that room to run."

"I can see it. Sarah would love bonfires."

"And Daniel would love S'mores."

Lindsay chuckled.

"Maybe we can have a bonfire tonight. I haven't gotten to have one in a long time."

"I know. It would be really nice."

"Yeah."

"I'm going to go shower and call Danny."

"And I am going to stay out here and call Adam. I'll let you know when lunch is ready."

"Is the rest of the family coming?"

"Yeah, they'll be here in an hour or so."

Austin nodded and went inside while Lindsay yawned and picked up her phone. She wasn't sure if the boys were out or if they were spending the day inside, or if they even missed her yet. She sat down on the porch swing and rocked gently back and forth, waiting for someone to answer the phone.

"Hey babe."

"Hey. You sound tired."

"I was takin' a nap. The boys both crashed, I figured I might as well."

"Were they up late?"

"Not that late but they woke up really early. We had breakfast and went to the park for a while, then to the bookstore and out to lunch. When we got home they both went upstairs and crawled into bed without being asked."

"Their own beds or ours?"

"They both got into Colton's bed."

"Take a picture for me."

"I will. How's my littlest son?"

"Pretty good. He's been moving a lot today, too many people touching my stomach I think."

"He's not a people person."

"Apparently."

"And how are you doing?"

"I'm good. I miss my boys a lot though. I wish you were here."

"Yeah, we miss you too, but we had a talk about how mama needs a break sometimes."

"It's been nice to just get away and not have to worry about anything for a while."

"You deserve it, honey. This last year hasn't been easy and you've needed to get away and breathe for a while."

"Yeah."

"You sound a little blue, honey."

"I'm not. It's just Sunday."

"Ah. Church this morning."

"Yeah. It actually felt really good to be there. To just be kind of peaceful for a while. But I just kept thinking about how it didn't feel right to be there without you."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know. It just feels like something that important I shouldn't be doing without you."

"Oh. You must miss me."

"I do. A lot."

"How was the wedding?"

"It was good. She was beautiful and happy and Josh looks at her the same way you look at me."

"He must really love her then."

"He does. Taylor said you called her yesterday morning."

"Well, I just wanted to tell her that I love her and I wish I could have been there."

"You're a good man."

"I do my best. So what are you up to today?"

"The family's coming over, so probably getting lots of noogies and wet willies and junk."

"Your brothers do love you."

"They love me because I make a good target."

"You're cute."

She smiled and shook her head.

"I really miss you babe."

"I miss you too. Have you been sleeping okay?"

"Not bad, but I think that's due in part to jet lag."

"Okay. If you need someone to talk you to sleep, you can call me."

"Maybe. Though I am pretty sure Austin would never let me forget it."

"Probably not."

"I need to go help mom get lunch ready. Give the boys a kiss for me."

"I will. Danny's coming over to watch the game tonight, so if you girls wanted to Skype with the kids, maybe around six?"

"Okay, we'll be there."

"I'll talk to you later babe. I love you."

"Love you too."

They hung up and she stared at the phone for a moment, wishing for his arms around her for just one simple second. She knew she couldn't have it but she also knew that she was going to get a whole lot longer than just one second when she got home, so she could hold on for a few more days.

She went into the house and considered going upstairs to change, but finding that she was pretty comfortable in the skirt. Grabbing an apron off the pantry wall, she joined her mom in the kitchen, wordlessly peeling the five pounds of potatoes that had been set by the sink.

"Doesn't anyone help you cook Sunday dinner?" she asked, looking at the magnitude of food sitting around and wondering how her mom managed to make enough to feed a small army.

"Your dad helps," Anne said with a shrug. "But mostly I just get it ready during the week, since I don't have much cooking to do for just the two of us. Everybody brings a little something to share too, I don't cook everything."

"Well alright."

They fell into silence for a moment before Lindsay sighed and spoke.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you ready to finally be empty nesters? Like, completely?"

"I don't know. It's going to be hard to have such an empty house all the time."

"Yeah. Plus, you're way too young for it."

"Oh stop it. I didn't raise you to be a liar."

Lindsay giggled and shook her head.

"Well then you at least look too young for it."

"Thank you my dear. I can only hope I passed those good genes along."


"Mama!"

"Hi ma!"

Lindsay and Austin giggled as Colton and Isa greeted them from the computer screen, trying hard to fit onto the chair together.

"What are you doin' over there?" Colton asked, scooting closer to the screen.

"Well all your aunts and uncles and cousins are over for dinner."

"Is it so loud over there?"

"Yeah, it's pretty loud."

"My mama's family is nutso, Isa," Colton explained, shaking his head. "They like to scare each other and laugh really a lot. It is a crazy house."

"Our family is like that," Isa confirmed with a nod. "We are crazy."

"Nah, I think just you're crazy," Austin teased.

"Hey, wanna know the crazy thing that just happened?"

"No Colt, I wanna tell 'em!"

"It happened in my home, I get to tell them!"

"But I am a ladies first, so me!"

"No Isa, I started to say it before you!"

"Colt!"

Within seconds they had started wrestling and had fallen off the chair. They weren't really mad at each other, they just liked to argue and Lindsay and Austin giggled as Sarah climbed up into the chair, ignoring the fight on the floor below her.

"Hi ma. Hi auntie. I will tell you what is happening. The little boys was upstairs alone. Then we heard the toilet flush. And then they screamed. And then Adam went up there and he sweared real loud. So daddy went up there and he sweared real loud too. And then they argued for a bit. Then they sended the boys to the room and told them not to come out. I goed up there and daddy said that the boys put Legos in the toilet and flushed it. And it was a lot of Legos. A whole set. And they are tryna get it out. And Daniel and Benjamin are cryin' in the room because they are in so much trouble. Also the little scary bathroom downstairs started to flood too, so I telled Adam and he sweared again. And then he said what if there is poo in the walls and daddy laughed and laughed and they are wearin' rubber gloves and they look funny."

"Well that is quite a story," Austin chuckled. "Did anyone clean up the mess in the little bathroom?"

"Well, daddy putted towels on the floor but then Adam said those were the good towels and daddy called him a cupcake and then I got hungry for a cupcake and I asked for one and they both did a big breath so I came in here."

"Are they upstairs or downstairs now?"

"They're running back and forth."

"Did they turn the water off?"

"I dunno."

"Can you go tell them to turn the water off?"

"Yep, be right back."

She hopped off the chair and ran into the other room. After a second they could hear her yelling up the stairs.

"Hey! Auntie says to turn the water off!"

She came back and climbed onto the chair again.

"I telled them. Now I have a question."

"What's that?"

"What if I have to go potty?"

The girls burst into laughter, glad they weren't there to try and figure that one out.

"Aw man, Sarah you told them already?" Isa asked, popping up from the floor, her hair a mess after her scuffle with Colton.

"Yep. You two was wrestlin' in the house."

"Oh."

The three kids squeezed onto the chair and continued talking over each other about what they'd done that day and how much they missed their mothers and asking how long it would be before they would come home.

"Hey mama, Junior and Ben just comed down here. I think they are supposed to be in the room for what they done."

"I'll let daddy worry about that. For now they can drag up another chair so we can talk to them too."

There was a loud scratching on the floor as the little boys did just that.

"Hi mama. Ben done a bad," Ben greeted, pushing his glasses up. "Daddy's upset."

"Yeah, I bet he is."

"He holler at Ben. Ben knowed better."

"Yes, you do, don't you?"

"Yup. Daddy love Ben still?"

"Yes, he does."

"Okay. Dunner sad."

"What are you sad buddy?"

"My fav'rit Lego is down in the potty!"

"Why did you put your Legos in the toilet anyway?"

"We was cleanin' 'em," Junior explained with a shrug. "Binyin sneeze on it."

"Yup. Ben do that."

"Hey mama I forgot to tell ya! I learned all the rap words to the Jason Aldean song and today I was singing it and I singed the part about knockin' the loud mouth out and daddy got me in trouble and I had to tell him it was just a song! And then he did not believe me and so I had to find it on the computer and you know how hard that is because I cannot read yet?"

"That sounds terrible."

"It was, mama. But then I finded it in your music and daddy rolled his eyes because it was a country man trying to rap so then I made him listen to the one with Ludacris in it and he covered his ears and said they was gonna bleed if I not turn off that bad noise."

"You tell your daddy he needs to stop being a music snob and remind him that he likes Phil Collins."

"I will remember that."

"Phil Collins?" Austin asked with a grin. "Serious?"

Lindsay nodded and grinned.

"Know what we had for dinner? Fruit snacks and toast!"

"Is that all you had?"

"Yep! Uncle Dum didn't do no shoppin' so that's all that was left for us kids. Then after we ate they got pizza!"

"They did?"

"Yup. It was daddy's idea and so they got pizza and wouldn't let us have any."

Austin chuckled.

"Yeah but now they have to clean up the toilet and you don't."

"Yep!"

There was a squeaking noise and Adam came around the corner, dressed in camo waders, pink rubber gloves, holding a toilet plunger.

"Oh. Hey babe," he greeted with a little wave as the kids all turned to look at him. "Do you know where the number for the plumber is at?"

"Yeah, it should be right next to the computer in that address book," she answered while Austin tried to hold in her laughter. She didn't succeed and had to stand up and walk away.

"I found it. Thanks."

"Hey, are those the waders my dad got you for Christmas?"

"Yeah, and you still never took me fishin' so I figured I might as well use them for something."

"Is the toilet overflowing that much?"

"Nah, I just didn't want to risk my jeans."

"Okay. Well you'd better go take care of that."

"Alright. Love you."

"Love you too."

He squeaked away and the kids turned back to the screen while Austin returned to her seat.

"Daddy look funny," Ben commented. "Like Mario."

"Mario does not have pink gloves, Ben. Or a plungy."

Austin couldn't stop laughing, especially when Lindsay pulled up the screen shot she'd taken of Adam in his outfit.

"I can't even… I don't… he looked ridiculous!"

"Welcome to my life, Aust."


The fire crackled comfortingly as the night became colder and they propped their feet up on the edge of the pit. They were both wearing lounge pants and hoodies, sinking down into the Adirondack chairs and just breathing with the rhythm of the wind. Everyone had long since gone home and Lindsay's parents had just turned in for the night.

Austin breathed in deeply and stared up at the stars, overwhelmed with their brightness and magnitude. Even the times she'd been far away from the city, the sky had never looked this big and bright.

"I would like to never leave," she sighed.

"You would go crazy without the city."

"Maybe. But I think I could get used to this too. Retire out here."

"This fresh air is makin' you nuts."

"Do you know the names of the stars?"

"I wanted to learn when I was little but no one taught me so I just kind of made it up."

"Remember any of them?"

"No, not really. I know there was one named John Wayne."

"You're such a hick."

"Adam tried to teach me once, on our honeymoon."

"Didn't go so well?"

"I got bored and pulled him back into our room."

"Just stop right there."

Lindsay chuckled and spun her wedding ring around her finger, watching how it glinted in the firelight.

"Scale of one to ten, how much do you miss Adam?"

"Ten. How much do you miss Danny?"

"Ten."

"Should we call 'em?"

"Nah, let them miss us a little."

"Hey Austin?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming out here with me. It wouldn't have been as much fun on my own."

"Anytime. I think we need to make these trips a normal thing. Get away from home for a while and just do whatever we want."

"I think you're right."

They were silent for a while and Lindsay sat up a little more, turning to face her friend.

"What's the matter Lin?"

"Nothing. I just…I don't think I ever say thank you enough. If it wasn't for you Austin… I don't know what would have happened to me. Just knowing that you were there helped a lot. I owe you big time."

"No you don't, Lin. You got better and you gave me my best friend back. And as much as you don't know what you would do without me, I don't know what I would do without you. And that is the reason that I will never, ever leave you."

"I think we're lucky."

"Your brother says we're "friend-bians."

Lindsay laughed.

"What in the world is a friend-bian?"

"Apparently friends who would be together if they were gay."

"I think I'm just going to take that as a compliment on the very close and mature relationship we have."

"I think so too because for as hot as you are, no offense, but it kinda creeps me out a little."

"Likewise."

"That doesn't mean I'm gonna stop hugging the crap out of you every chance I get."

"You have such a way with words Aust."

"I've spent years cultivating the art. It would be a shame not to use it."

"Austin Messer, my life would suck without you."